Sex Toys......What age should someone start playing with them?

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Sex Toys......What age should someone start playing with them?

WetJenn WetJenn
This whole site is about sex toys, but what is the right age to introduce sex toys into someone's life?

We live in a totally open household, discussing sex and everything that involves sex freely with our teenagers. We have never purchased sex toys for them, but they have never asked. If they asked I would not have a problem finding them a simple toy to introduce them into the world of sex toys as I would give them a condom or put them on birth control if they were going to start having sex. They are curious and that should be encouraged.

I understand that not everyone agrees with this. I am not asking this to cause problems or to start fights over moral issues, but am curious to see what everyone's opinion is. Remember you are entitled to your opinion as I am to mine.

If you had teenagers and they came to you and asked for you to get them one would you?

Please be honest and respectful if you choose to discuss this poll.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Under 18- if they asked.
27
Once they start having sex.
Make them wait until they were over 18 when they can buy their own.
14
Depends on the person and how mature they, no matter what their age is.
21
I would give one to them to help develop their sexuality.
9
I would not give or buy them one at all.
3
I do not even agree with discussing sex toys or sex with a teenager or another person and participate on here totally anonymously.
Other
2
Total votes: 76 (54 voters)
Poll is closed
11/10/2011
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Errant Venture Errant Venture
I'd wait until they were old enough to buy their own, so at 16.
11/10/2011
- Kira - - Kira -
My son is only three right now so it's hard to say without having had the experience of him coming to me I guess. I think I'd rather buy him sex toys and teach him the right things at an early age (under 18) than have him be one of those 15 year old kids with a baby because he didn't know to put a condom on or was so horny he couldn't stand it. In fact, once he hits puberty I might just buy him some stuff and say "use this - it can't get pregnant!" I'm so paranoid about that.

I have no issues being open about sexuality and don't intend to hide mine from him. I figure our collection is large enough he's bound to figure out what's in the locked chests at some point, so why not just be honest upfront? My mom was open with me and I think I made better decisions (for the most part) because of it.
11/10/2011
WetJenn WetJenn
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
My son is only three right now so it's hard to say without having had the experience of him coming to me I guess. I think I'd rather buy him sex toys and teach him the right things at an early age (under 18) than have him be one of those 15 ...
We have a 3 y/o here. She knows the body parts, boys and girls. She also knows new toys when they come, what they are and calls them "Mommy's Penis's" yes she came up with that on her own. I used to refer to them as toys for mom and dad. I got a kick out of it, when she started calling them that, she put it together on her own, knows I dont have a penis, but penis shaped items.

I have not nor do I think I could explain to her their uses, but she is aware of them. She knows where I keep them(again the kid misses nothing), but knows not to mess with them. I keep them away from her, not necessarily hidden, but I dont leave them sitting out. We plan on being honest with her and seeing how she develops.

We have an honest dialog with her and my 2 nephews we raise (who are 15 and 17). As uncomfortable it may make us at times, we know it's for the best.
11/10/2011
authorzero authorzero
We have a lot of weird hang ups about sex in this society. I don't think there is anything wrong with sex toys for your kids if you think they are ready for them, and if you're sure it wouldn't make them or you uncomfortable.
11/10/2011
Yoda Yoda
I wouldn't take my sex toys away from my teenagers, but I wouldn't buy them for them either. That stuff is both adult and private. Let them figure it out.
11/10/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by WetJenn
This whole site is about sex toys, but what is the right age to introduce sex toys into someone's life?

We live in a totally open household, discussing sex and everything that involves sex freely with our teenagers. We have never purchased ...
I grew up in an open household and it bothered me how open it was. I have all girls in my house and I would rather they wait till they are old enough to purchase their own..
11/10/2011
WetJenn WetJenn
Quote:
Originally posted by poetprincess
I grew up in an open household and it bothered me how open it was. I have all girls in my house and I would rather they wait till they are old enough to purchase their own..
I can understand that.

I lived in a very very closed off sheltered household. I am still trying to get over hangups about sex that were imposed on me to this day. I guess that is a big part of why we always leave an open dialog, not pushy but open enough that they could ask if they wanted too.
11/11/2011
K101 K101
I think sex should be discussed in depth and regularly at a young age. We've already started discussing it with the 11 year old who just turned 12, but it's almost a daily thing as he learns more and more and has questions. Just today chlamydia was the topic after school. Lol. It's become n easy thing to speak about. It's not as hard as some think. Once you open up it's not so bad to answer the questions. I wouldn't go discussing what's fun and how to have good sex or anything, but it should be openly talked about with children before they turn teens because some are already experiencing it at 12-13 and even younger!

Anyways, I would never buy a sex toy for our kids and not for anyone under age. I just don't like the idea of parent/child getting into it like that. I don't know how to explain it, but it seems almost as if it would give the person the idea that I condone it if I went nd bought one for them. I waited until I was 18 no problem. I had a heck of a lot less sex than friends who did have toys under age so I don't buy into the whole "if you buy kids sex toys they won't have sex." I just don't see it appropriate for my family. I wouldn't want my mom buying me one and to be honest, if she had done so when I was underage (not that she has since I've been of age) I would have gotten the idea that she wouldn't mind as much if I decided to be promiscious. I would think she was in a way condoning sexual activity period. It's just not something for me and my family.
11/11/2011
SMichelle SMichelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Yoda
I wouldn't take my sex toys away from my teenagers, but I wouldn't buy them for them either. That stuff is both adult and private. Let them figure it out.
I agree.
11/11/2011
llellsee llellsee
At whatever age they feel ready enough to seek them.I'm grateful I found out about sex toys when I did because its down to them that I held on to my virginity for another couple years.
11/11/2011
Antipova Antipova
In my state, we couldn't buy them til we were 18 (not to mention the nearest brick and mortar store was like 3 hours away). My folks never mentioned sex toys, so I was using household items at ~14.

On the other hand, I gave my sister one for her 16th birthday (part of another gift, it wasn't the only thing I got her) and she was like "um, what do you do with this?"

So it obviously varies from child to child. I don't know if my parents would have gotten me a sex toy if I had asked, but I guess everyone's turned out just fine.
11/11/2011
Beck Beck
My parents never mentioned sex toys. I am a mother of a 3year old and a 8month old, both with see my toys regularly because I pull them out to review during the day. I will be open when it is time, right now he just calls them my toys, but he does not know what they are. He knows his body parts and the difference between boys and girls but not well enough to understand yet. I will be sure he has a full understanding before kindergarten and when he is hitting puberty if he would want a masturbator I would most likely get him one, I would for my daughter if I have one. I have two boys. Nothing too intense just simple traditional ones, and unrealistic.
11/11/2011
null null
My parents never mentioned sex toys, or really sex in general. Got a science only talk from mom in the 3rd grade, nothing after. Despite this, I would give a teenager a toy before they hit 18, I'd much rather them use made-for toys than things around the house...like I did. >.>
11/11/2011
biggieaddict biggieaddict
I think discussions of anatomy and sex should be age-appropriate and start early. As far as toys go, while I am inclined to purchase them for my child when the time comes (and not nearly so early), I think that could be too readily interpreted as abuse or improper parenting. This even with some parents putting their kids on the pill. But, the pill is...utilitarian and preventative, while toys would overtly condone SEX and Pleasure!!! The Horror! Personally, I think having toys would result in several fewer early boyfriends I'll have to inter on moonless nights.

Kids in my family tend to be bright, so I think getting them their own account with a debit card or a refillable "credit card" for their allowance and not hiding a catalog or the weblink to EF (and a couple printed reviews) too carefully will suffice.
11/11/2011
Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
I think its just important to develop sexually than it is in any other area of life and masturbation is the safest way to accomplish that so if my child asked, or brought it up I would definitely get her a sex toy.
11/12/2011
Vanille Vanille
I learned what I know about sex on my own. I was never sat down and given 'the talk'. I started masturbating at 16. I learned about sex toys from my friends and didn't purchase my first one 'til I was 20.

I think whenever the child expresses interest or curiosity is when you should start talking about them. The world needs to be a bit more sex-positive, dern it.
11/12/2011
SaMiKaY SaMiKaY
I, like some of the others that posted, found household items to use when I was under 18. I never had "the talk". I grew up in a strict Christian household and was raised by my grandparents. Too this day, my grandma says sex is strictly for procreation. She hasn't had sex in 36 years (and I am CONVINCED that's why they are always grumpy).

I taught myself about sex when I was 8 years old. By the time my school had our "life skills" classes, *I* was the one leading discussions. In high school, my life skills teacher had me teach the classes on sex and sexuality. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, but I was still the most informed in my town.

I believe I was able to hold on to my virginity because of my household 'toys' but wished someone would have allowed me to have/purchase an actual toy. I have a 3 year old step daughter and am starting to teach her the difference between girls and boys. She is learning and when the time comes, I hope we can be open with eachother about sex since I know her birth mom and dad won't.

I am a firm believer that a child should be taught by a parent than by a friend because of all the misconceptions friends teach. I would rather her learn facts from me, than be told myths by someone else.
11/12/2011
Do-Re-Mi Do-Re-Mi
My parents are very old school when it comes to sex, they don't talk about it at all. I was never even given a sex talk besides, "don't do it till you're married," which could have possibly hurt my sexual development. Thankfully I had a very good sex ed teacher in middle school.

I started masturbating very young, before I even really knew what I was doing. During my last two years of high school toys became something I was really interested in but without someone who was 18 to buy them for me I used house hold objects that could have ended up being very dangerous.

I plan to be very open about sex in the future with my children. A basic sex talk in elementary school to introduce them to it and make sure that whenever they have questions about it I'll be someone they can feel comfortable to go to. As for sex toys, I'd most likely buy them if they asked. I'd rather them have something I know is safe than use something that's not meant to be a toy.
12/09/2011
Gary A. Gary A.
I'd rather my child using sex toys than sleeping around and getting pregnant before even starting their life.
12/09/2011
DiscretionAdvised DiscretionAdvised
This is definitely one of those tricky topics. For instance, what if someone found out you had bought your kid a sex toy? If they sensationalized it, think of the public disgrace and (worst case scenario) potential criminal charges. Not saying I'm against it or trying to scare anyone from doing it, I'm just thinking out loud of my own fears.

Parenting is a tricky thing in this day and age.
12/09/2011
rom323 rom323
It is my (male) opinion, that being curious is a good thing and kids should be taught about sex, including all options. I would most definitely buy my child a sex toy, if they were interested. The more they understand about sex the better off they will be, as kids only do things they think are dangerous or wrong to rebel and show independence.

I grew up in a house where sex was not discussed. It was a taboo subject and therefore I was scared of it and was way more curious about it than I should have been. I started masturbating when I was 12 and looking at porn on the internet about the same time. To this day, I am curious to know how much my parents and other people know about sex. I have studied sex heavily for the past 12 years (since 18) and ready everything I can get my hands on.

Kids need access to information and if toys interest them, then I will certainly embrace it.
12/09/2011
SweetSurprise SweetSurprise
I got my first toy at 16 hell if I can drive a car I think I can use a dildo or vibe. it was bought for me by my boyfriend at the time. I think its great to experiment and find yourself. I also wish I would have been more informed about sex and sex related issues. I wanted to learn about it most teens do we just need someone who will talk with us about it.
12/10/2011
sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
Under 18. Personally I think people should educate their teens.
08/17/2012
AHubbyof2SexualMinds AHubbyof2SexualMinds
Whenever that person is ready. If it's my son who's asking I'll do my best to explain and help him as long as he's a reasonable age.
08/17/2012
HB042 HB042
Household objects user here, too. I am sure it kept me from making terrible decisions as a teenager. My mom told me how sex functions when I was 8, and it kind of stopped there. The Childcraft Encyclopedia parents' guide pretty much taught me the rest.

I am not a parent yet, so I can only speak as the kid who would have fared well from an open and understanding parent. I do believe that satisfying a kid's curiousity in a safe manner is the best course of action. I was also lucky enough to be the type to learn from others' mistakes, when both my older siblings had either gotten pregnant or gotten someone pregnant at 15 and 16... Even while my stepmom was preaching that masturbation was a sin, I figured I'd rather that than be pregnant.
08/17/2012
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 24