The right age to learn about sex.

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The right age to learn about sex.

AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Sex Education is always a hot topic around the country. Kids seem to be experimenting with sex at younger ages and abstinence just doesn't seem a viable solution. What do you think is a good age to start receiving sex education and awareness? Would love to hear your thoughts on the topic.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
8-10 years old
anonymouse58 , Lucky21 , Cora Jane , lovemuscle n cookie , MaryExy , redstarr681 , jay28 , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Ryuson , ThoughtsAblaze , Shellz31 , bluekaren , kinksters , LikeSunshineDust , playtimeohsofun , Darling Jen , mmike1900 , null , biangel88 , potstickers
20
11-14 years old
I'mNotYourToy , Ajax , ejrbrndps , Eva Schwaltz , darthkitt3n , Powder
6
15-over
Total votes: 26 (26 voters)
Poll is closed
07/14/2011
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Ansley Ansley
I'm not a parent, but I started sex education in school at eleven. There's a side of me that says it made me more curious because it was so clinical and broad, but I was also really glad I was educated in safer sex practices.

I think when a child starts asking questions it's probably a good time to start giving answers. The answers depend on the child and the question.
07/14/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Sex Ed begins when you baby notices his or her genitals. That takes place in the first year of life.

We have three kids and we never had "The Talk" because there has been an ongoing dialogue about sex, body image, development etc since they were infants. It starts with naming body parts, the genitals are included with no fanfare, goes on when you have to let your toddler know that playing with his or her genitals feels really nice and is really OK, but its not something one does in the living room or in front of grandma. Then, you use Teachable Moments, like if Mama is pregnant or you see a pregnant lady. It goes on from there, until one day you're dropping your kid off at Planned Parenthood to get birth control or they have just let you know they took the initiative to do this themselves.

Starting at 8 is too damn old, if you ask me. You've lost 8 years of Teachable Moments.

There's no one time, it's a lifetime of learning, starting in infancy.
07/14/2011
Lucky21 Lucky21
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I'm not a parent, but I started sex education in school at eleven. There's a side of me that says it made me more curious because it was so clinical and broad, but I was also really glad I was educated in safer sex practices.

I think ...
I could not agree more. I started asking my parents questions at a very young age (7ish?) and they gave me very age appropriate, but honest answers, ended up getting me a couple of really good books so I could read on my own and ended up sending me to an AYS program at our local UU Church. One of the best things I ever did growing up. When my daughter starts to ask questions, I am going to try to do the same thing. Even if that is next year when she turns 5.
07/14/2011
JessCee JessCee
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Sex Ed begins when you baby notices his or her genitals. That takes place in the first year of life.

We have three kids and we never had "The Talk" because there has been an ongoing dialogue about sex, body image, development etc ...
I completely agree. My children (boy/girl twins) noticed at a very early age that they have different genitals... so I'd say it started there... and of course everything was age appropriate and will continue to be as more questions arise and they get older
07/14/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i think when kids notice the different types of genitals they have.
07/14/2011
Cora Jane Cora Jane
I voted 8-10, but I would say younger than that. My school started sex ed classes in first grade. I'm not sure if they still do this or how the parents must have felt about it, but it gave us all equal and age appropriate information and saved us from having to ask them many awkward questions.
07/14/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Cora Jane
I voted 8-10, but I would say younger than that. My school started sex ed classes in first grade. I'm not sure if they still do this or how the parents must have felt about it, but it gave us all equal and age appropriate information and saved us ...
I don't think I ever asked my mother anything about sex. I knew boys were different from girls, but it never occurred to me to think she would have the answer or that she would give it to me. Hell, I don't think we ever even had the pad versus tampon discussion before or after I started my period.

I remember asking for tampons instead of pads because the mess was really getting to me and I had bled through the pad AND my pants in the middle of class one day (she refused to come get me so I could change and the nurses didn't have anything that would fit me so I walked around with a red sweater covering my butt all day). She refused and we had a huge argument over it. I got the but you're a virgin, argument! No mom, technically I wasn't but thanks for asking!

I ended up stealing almost an entire box from a friend's mom and then talking to said friends mom about it. She bought me a years supply and let me keep them at her house.

How friggin' ridiculous is that?!
07/14/2011
MaryExy MaryExy
I say 8-10, but I really think mostly 10 is the age range I'm interested in. Before puberty, so kids don't freak out about what's happening. I don't think telling them the nitty-gritty of sex, safe sex, etc. should be a topic for really early in life.

If I see one of the kids I babysit "fiddling", I tell them that they don't need to be doing that in front of everyone, even if it's family.
Kids start asking about why boys and girls have different parts: something general like "they have different jobs when you get older, you'll learn the specifics when it's closer to that time."
Kids try to go off and experiment with their friends: "you'll have plenty of time for that later in life, but your bodies need to catch up first."

Around 9-11 age range, I think kids need to know what their bodies are about to do (especially for girls, I can only imagine how traumatizing having your period is when you've never been told that it's going to happen.) But telling kids about STDs and such before their bodies are even supposed to be ready for sex kills the innocence, I think...

Edit: and if my kid started asking where babies come from (assuming they know it's in the mommy's tummy first), I'd tell them something like "the daddy helps the mommy start getting a seed to grow in her belly, then the belly keeps the seed healthy as it grows until it's big enough to handle the outside world." Accurate but no penises and stuff, I've met toooooo many kids wanting to have babies. If they ask how they get the seed and stuff, I'll tell them to save some knowledge to learn when they're older or something, or "it's a secret for when you grow up a little more"
07/14/2011
Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
I think 10 is a good age, but not much younger.
07/14/2011
Ryuson Ryuson
It needs to happen before strange fluids start coming out of the genitals for certain! But I really feel like you should answer their questions whenever they arise and let them know that you're there for them to ask.
07/15/2011
ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
When it comes to puberty, kids need to know early such as by age 8. When it comes to actual sex ed, I say around age 10 before heading to middle school.
07/15/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
If I ever had kids, I would honestly answer any questions they have at any age. I don't believe in lying or hiding things.
07/16/2011
kinksters kinksters
agree with Shellz31^^^
07/16/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by MaryExy
I say 8-10, but I really think mostly 10 is the age range I'm interested in. Before puberty, so kids don't freak out about what's happening. I don't think telling them the nitty-gritty of sex, safe sex, etc. should be a topic for ...
Exy, you said, "If I see one of the kids I babysit "fiddling", I tell them that they don't need to be doing that in front of everyone, even if it's family." Did you let the child know it was OK to do in the privacy of his or her bedroom? I'd hate to see a child shamed about a natural activity. I always let my kids know (and kids start to play with their genitals as soon as they can get a hand down the diaper, or as soon as the diaper comes off during a change, usually in the first year of life) that it was FINE to touch themselves on their Yoni, vagina etc, but that it was a private activity just for them at this point in their lives. I also let them know that this type of play was what people who love each other do with each other, and that when they got older and more mature, they would be able to do that too, with someone they love.

Knowing the basics of sex doesn't cause anyone to want to do it. Why "no penises and stuff" ???? Knowledge is power. Nobody ever had sex when they didn't want to just because they knew what a penis was. In fact the LESS kids know the more likely they are to be predated upon.

With my kids we also made sure they knew sex was about MUCH MORE than just "making babies." As it is only honest. I've had sex 10s of thousands of times. I've only been pregnant 5 times and only was able to carry 3 to term. I think it's the honest thing to let kids know nearly ALL the sex they are going to have is going to be for fun and bonding purposes. "Babies" are only a small part of a sex life, and seeing as many people never want kids, but certainly have sex, I think it's important to let kids know that sex for fun and love is it's MAIN purpose.

I agree with Shellz, too. I don't believe in lying or hiding things. When I hear the word "secret" when it comes to sex it reminds me of.... people who do bad things to children and then tell them it's "a secret." I would NEVER want to have my kids in that situation and think that they can't tell anyone because an adult said secrets about sex were OK. I was there as a child, in part because my mother felt sex was so secretive. If she had not tried to hide things from me and said everything about one's genitals were "secrets" maybe I could have and would have told someone about the man who was hurting me.
07/16/2011
playtimeohsofun playtimeohsofun
even younger than 8to10 would be good also i think its something you should teach them as soon as you think they will understand. especially teach that no one should touch you there unless you want them to!
07/16/2011
mmike1900 mmike1900
7-8 is probably the best. Even 10 is too late. My friends and I started to occasionally talk about sex when we were 9. I started masturbating when I was about 9.

I definitely had a huge attraction to the ladies when I was 5. I may not have had erections that young, but I was deeply attracted to women.

From orgasms to reproduction, kids need to learn.
07/18/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Exy, you said, "If I see one of the kids I babysit "fiddling", I tell them that they don't need to be doing that in front of everyone, even if it's family." Did you let the child know it was OK to do in the privacy of his ...
My husband and I often joke that if we didn't fuck each other so well we'd have nothing to say to each other. (It's sooooooo NOT true. We have a lot in common.)

I totally agree the main purpose of sex is bonding, not procreation though that might have something more to do with the advances in society and knowledge. I mean, I seriously doubt cavemen were banging their women because they wanted to get closer to them.

Sometimes I day dream about the very FIRST erection in mankind's history and how awkward and confusing it must have been if they couldn't figure out where to stick it. LOL I'm totally on a tangent and I think I'll stop now.
07/18/2011
Ghost Ghost
When the kid starts asking or doing/saying sexual things, that might be the right time to honestly answer their questions.
07/18/2011
Powder Powder
I really believe it depends on the child, and the environment that they are in. The key is the parents, and knowing their child. I can't stress enough the horrors of lying to children, but similar issues can arise from teaching them too young. I'm not saying that when your child starts asking about sex you have to go in-depth, but they know when you're hiding something from them. I think they age to learn the "truths" about sexual activity and details would probably be around 10 or 11 at the youngest, but that's having primed them with previous information to assure they'll be mature and take the information seriously.
07/18/2011
Total posts: 20
Unique posters: 17