The Talk

Well, I sat my cat down (it was difficult, he kept getting distracted by things like birds, bees, and laser pointers) and said, "Remember that time when we took you to the vet and you came back all groggy and sad?"

I don't have kids (thank goodness), but I might decide to pop out one or two after I get school and career in order. "The Talk" is one of those things I stress out over, since it was so badly done between my parents and me, and I want to get it right.

I've raised my daughter in an open and honest way since she was a baby. If she asks, I answer. She is so excited to know that grownups get toys, too!

I just told her about how cool vasectomies are, and her reply was, "Wow then you can mate for fun!" So, let me know if you want my 9 yr old to have a talk with your kids. She's cool with it.

I want to have an open and honest relationship with my children like my mother has with me. It makes me sad the way that some people are taught to fear sex, or that it's wrong. It's a natural experience that most people will participate in, in their lifetime, and therefore children should be properly informed about it. I want my children to come to me if they have any questions, or if they need advice.

ha ha ha! These are some great stories (I would love to meet your daughter, TBK--more kids need to be like that!) and some great advice too! I think the biggest thing is to keep talking to our kids. We may not always like what they have to say, and they us, but as long as we know we can all talk to each other without retribution, I think we create a better atmosphere for discussion--one where we can still share some wisdom and influence when necessary to keep our kids out scary situations. We can't prevent everything, but if they can talk stuff out with us, about sex or anything else, before having to go through with a situation in real life, hopefully they'll make better, safer decisions. My hope for my own son is that it will also help him trust himself and his own decisions as he matures.

My son and I have had "the talk". He knows all about his birth story and how he was created. However, being that he isn't even quite 18 months old yet, I have a feeling I have many more discussions on this topic to come.

Thanks for reading, everyone! It sounds like you definitely have the right ideas when it comes to communicating with your kids. I hope my son turns out as well!

I never officially ever got the "talk". Then again I moved out of the house before my 17th birthday so there wasn't much time I suppose. I do remember one time my mother asking me with this weird look on her face as I was headed out the door, "You know how to take care of yourself right?" I answered yes. Now looking back I realize there was so much more I could have been told. I do not blame anyone that is for sure. Although, I think if you can have an open and honest discussion like the ones mentioned above then the lessons and the bond will be so much stronger.

we have not had to have that talk yet with our kids but we do have a very open house and my S/O and I talk about sex openly so they always have a opertunity to ask.
My talk involved my 16th b-day and getting a card from my granmother that said have some fun and it had a condom in it, she talked more about sex the mt folks did.

People here are awesome. No kids, but always wondered since I want to improve on the way my parents introduced (or didn't introduce) stuff. Is this a topic you discuss with your partner and sort of say "at this age he/she should know this this and this"? Is it like the father christmas thing where the partners sometimes disagree what should be said when they start to ask questions? ("you can't tell him that yet!!!")

I want to be pretty open about things, but I don't know at what age I'd feel comfortable with introducing topics and I worry I'd have disagreements. I think it's important to be pretty honest with kids. If they sense they are making you feel uncomfortable they probably wont ask too many more questions. The only sexually related question I remember asking when I was really little is whether my clitoris and labia was like a little penis (not surprising that i didn't know the words for clitoris or labia either at that stage!). Don't even remember the answer- probablhy either wasn't what I was looking for or was too difficult for me to understand- but I sensed uncomfortableness so I stopped asking so many questions. In retrospect I think a plan or spiel would have been good for my parents because it would have decreased my perception that they were uncomfortable or hiding something. Answers to questions relating to pleasure should be extremely well thought out beforehand so you feel comfortable answering them. And giving them enough detail is important too. My mum is a pretty approachable and non judgemental person but when I hit puberty the couple of times I did ask quetions it really took me ages to build up the courage and she could have elaborated quite easily into other areas. She's a bit shy natured like me so I get it, and these days I'm occasionally brave in talking to her about things & she's pretty good- it's a bit late to sit me down now though.