Does your weight affect the quality of your sex life? Private voting

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Does your weight affect the quality of your sex life? Private voting

bayosgirl bayosgirl
I am about 50-60 lbs overweight and have begun to realize that my size is really affecting the quality of our sex life. Not only do I feel self-conscious (my husband says he loves my body, but you know how self esteem works-it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks) but *every* position is now uncomfortable for me because of my thick legs. I am trying to lose weight by brisk walking every day, but it's been a challenge because I have to continually fight my depression. I'm determined to lose it, though, as I did once before. So does anyone else find their weight affects their sex life?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I'm not overweight and have no problems in this area
30  (48%)
I'm overweight and my weight doesn't affect my sex life
9  (14%)
I'm overweight and my weight does affect my sex life
24  (38%)
Total votes: 63
Poll is closed
08/23/2011
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Ghost Ghost
I am what most people these days would call "fat", and I am also a very active person (an ecologist, working in the field). I exercise, am very strong, have stamina, and very flexible (moreso than many of the "thin" people I've been with). I would say my weight does not affect my sex life.

I think it also helps that I don't hate myself.
08/23/2011
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
I am what most people these days would call "fat", and I am also a very active person (an ecologist, working in the field). I exercise, am very strong, have stamina, and very flexible (moreso than many of the "thin" people ...
That's good. It never helps to hate oneself. I would say the discomfort I get from having such thick thighs and trying to do different positions is the bigger factor (vs. me not liking my body.)
08/23/2011
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I am about 50-60 lbs overweight and have begun to realize that my size is really affecting the quality of our sex life. Not only do I feel self-conscious (my husband says he loves my body, but you know how self esteem works-it doesn't matter what ...
Not anymore. I wear lingerie to hide my trouble spots. Works amazingly well!
08/23/2011
Istanbull Istanbull
You should have made seperate answers for men and women.
08/23/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
I'm pregnant and my husband is not into fat at all. We still have sex, but I feel a little more self conscious, there is less naked time and I usually leave a tank top on.
08/23/2011
Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Both hubby and I are carrying around some extra weight right now. It doesn't effect us too much. It does makes certain sexual positions difficult. No biggie.
08/23/2011
CSEA CSEA
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I am about 50-60 lbs overweight and have begun to realize that my size is really affecting the quality of our sex life. Not only do I feel self-conscious (my husband says he loves my body, but you know how self esteem works-it doesn't matter what ...
I anm not overweight but I am very self conscious and insecure to be 100. Sometimes I feel ugh and like bloated so dont feel as attractive which can bum him out,.. he thinks im sexy so I should be more than happy lol
08/23/2011
ijako9 ijako9
My wife is a bigger girl and I still think sex is great. To me the only drawback are some positions are harder and I can't pick her up while doing her (one of my fantasies). But I still love sex with her, very fun very satisfying
08/25/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
I am a thick woman, and I like to think that my weight doesn't affect our sex, but sadly, sometimes it does, though he would never tell me he thinks so. But I find that because I am out of shape, I get tired more easily, and although he is only out of shape and not really overweight he has the same problem. Also, because of my belly, our Feeldoe loses about an inch of useable length during pegging.
08/25/2011
Rossie Rossie
We're both average sized, and we're not overweight, so it doesn't affect our sex life. The only thing I'm annoyed with myself is my loose tummy (resulting from my c-section when I've had my son), I'm kind of conscious about it when I'm naked, but my husband was not bothered by it at all.
08/25/2011
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
It only effects me as far as getting naked. I don't want to be seen naked now that I've gained weight.
08/25/2011
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
overweight, and it does a little
08/25/2011
Sunshineamine Sunshineamine
I am not overweight at this time but after I quit smoking I had put on twenty pounds almost instantly and I felt awkward and it made my self esteem lower so that was problem. I tired more easily too. Now that all the weight is gone I am back to being just fine with sex.
09/20/2011
ScotchIrish ScotchIrish
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I am about 50-60 lbs overweight and have begun to realize that my size is really affecting the quality of our sex life. Not only do I feel self-conscious (my husband says he loves my body, but you know how self esteem works-it doesn't matter what ...
And, she cut me off. The divorce is coming; but I have not in years.
09/20/2011
KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
Since I gained 20lbs I feel less attractive. So in many ways yes it does,
09/20/2011
NarcissisticLust NarcissisticLust
Although I am not overweight, my personal body issues affect my sex life.
11/20/2011
JDear JDear
I think people who are not overweight can have issues with sex because of their body image issues. And some men like curvier women and some women can't put on weight easily. It goes both ways. And so I won't be voting in the poll.
11/20/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Definitely affects mine. I avoid sex/contact altogether (in person) cause I hate how I look. If I can't accept who I am, then no one else can!
11/20/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I am about 50-60 lbs overweight and have begun to realize that my size is really affecting the quality of our sex life. Not only do I feel self-conscious (my husband says he loves my body, but you know how self esteem works-it doesn't matter what ...
I am kinda chunky but I dunno it depends on what you consider over weight If I weighed what they say I should for my height I would be a stick person. I am kinda self conscious but I get over it cause I love sex and its the best way and most fun way to burn calories off my body..
11/21/2011
Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I find it has now. I gained a few pounds and it makes certain positions harder than others.
11/21/2011
Cherrylane Cherrylane
I couldn't vote because none of them really fit for me.

All of the above?

I think it can pretty much be separated into two categories. Weight can affect your sex life physically and mentally.

On a mental or emotional level, if you are insecure about your weight, or your body in general, that can really affect your sex life. If you're trying to get it on but worry about excessive jiggle, a grab or lighting angle exposing or exaggerating cellulite, a position or activity drawing attention to stretch marks, or perhaps you just worry about being seen at all... that can all really inhibit things! It's hard to have great sex when you don't FEEL sexy. It's hard to feel sexually empowered when you constantly feel like your partner must be blind or delusional for wanting to be in bed with you, or that you have to suck your gut in at all times so they never see the "real" you. For the longest time I hated when my guy would wrap his arm around my stomach because I felt like I had to stop breathing, because I didn't want him to know my stomach "could go out that far" lol.

On a physical level, there's an extent to which it's less about "weight" and more about fitness etc. If you're overweight and unfit, or even if you're not overweight but you're just unfit, it can really affect your sex life. What positions you can do, how long you can do them, all that sort of thing. I know I stopped working out for around a year and at the end of it, it was REALLY difficult to have sex on top! My legs gave out in no time. It was sad. Now I work out for an hour or more multiple times a week and could enthusiastically bounce without tiring to my heart's content! I have no doubt that there are tons of overweight unfit people out there who have decent sex, but I still think at it's core, sex really is an uber physical activity, and if you aren't physically active, you're going to be more limited sexually.
11/21/2011
Cherrylane Cherrylane
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I am about 50-60 lbs overweight and have begun to realize that my size is really affecting the quality of our sex life. Not only do I feel self-conscious (my husband says he loves my body, but you know how self esteem works-it doesn't matter what ...
Also, in relation to your exercise and depression, just keep working on it and try try try to stay positive.

When you get ready to work out, don't tell yourself things like "god this sucks but I have to so I won't be so fat" or whatever negative type of thing might cross your mind. Love yourself now, know it doesn't make you a bad person or unattractive. Say you know what, I'm going to do things that are good for me and make me feel good! Make yourself. Even if it seems totally insincere and stupid. Do it because you believe it will make you feel better. Not just in a self esteem way, but in a generally healthier more active kind of way. I live on a third floor apartment, so for me the every-day example I got to experience after taking on a regular exercise regimen was climbing the stairs and realizing "oh my god I'm not out of breath!"

And as for motivation, I've found keeping myself preoccupied while working out is not an option. I can now run 6+ miles in 45 minutes if I can keep myself thoroughly distracted with music. Forget the ipod with updated playlist, however, and I swear I can barely make it 10 minutes. If walking is what you'd like to focus on, figure out a way to make it a positive relaxing experience, even at a brisk walk. For example, if I'm running, I HAVE to have something super upbeat with a clear rhythm I can zone out and sync my running to. If I were going to walk or hike, I might consider listening to one of my favorite podcasts or radio shows. For example, I LOVE Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and This American Life, which are both usually around 45 minutes to an hour. If I could listen and focus on the conversations and stories as I walked instead of just "I'm walking I'm walking" it would help a lot.

Another tip I have is to try and add some form of super light weight training. You could do it by getting small hand weights, or even just holding full water bottles, or numerous exorcises that don't require anything but you. I was told this all the time and didn't listen because 1. I thought it was boring and 2. I didn't want to get "bulky." Truth is, it IS sort of boring, but it can really help ramp up weight loss results and give "the most bang for your buck" because you're slowly developing and toning your muscles, which will cause your body to start burning more calories in an effort to maintain it. If you feel like giving that a whirl, I'd suggest figuring out a couple simple low-stress things you could do, once again, while you do something else you enjoy and do regularly. So if you have a favorite show that you watch every week, spend the first 10 minutes of it doing low-stress weight training exorcises.

I wish you the best with your endeavors and hope at least some of these two lengthy posts were at all helpful. And remember, whatever it is you think you want to do to improve your life, in any sense-- Do it. Because you deserve it.
11/21/2011
Nora Nora
If I had been asked this question a year ago, I would have said my size/weight had no impact on my sex life. However, a little over a year later and 40+ pounds lighter, I can say the weight/size did and does effect my sex life! I still have about 100 pounds to go until I am at my "goal weight" (high end of normal on the old BMI charts...), but having lost 8 pant sizes already, I am (and we are) having better and better sex!

Good for you on the walking too! I went with a low-carb diet to help "speed things up", but I have a lot more to lose! When I reach my next milestone (50 pounds gone forever), I am going to knuckle under the exercise thing...I'm lazy and I know it.
11/21/2011
Apirka Apirka
I have gained quite a bit of weight in the past few years. It definitely affects my sex live in that I'm not confident like I used to be when out and meeting people.
03/07/2012
leelee leelee
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I am about 50-60 lbs overweight and have begun to realize that my size is really affecting the quality of our sex life. Not only do I feel self-conscious (my husband says he loves my body, but you know how self esteem works-it doesn't matter what ...
There wasn't another option, I'm not overweight by the books but I'm not the weight I'd like to be and I have a few issues with it.
03/07/2012
calliope calliope
I'm 30 pounds heavier than before I had my daughter so I feel over weight. Yes it effects my sex life. My self esteem and I'm not as athletic.
03/07/2012
calliope calliope
I'm 30 pounds heavier than before I had my daughter so I feel over weight. Yes it effects my sex life. My self esteem and I'm not as athletic.
03/07/2012
(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
I'm overweight, but I'm active and flexible, so physically, our sex life isn't affected. Sometimes, I'll feel shy or self conscious, but the way my partner becomes ravenously aroused just from seeing me naked takes care of that, especially since he's freakishly fit and muscular.
03/08/2012
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
Me and my husband are both overweight. And we have a pretty fantastic sex life.
03/08/2012
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Unique posters: 30