When placing your orders, learn from my mistake.

The New Intimacy

When placing your orders, learn from my mistake.

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Contributor: Istanbull Istanbull
Make damn sure you check your shipping address before to click that "finish payment" button.

I was lying in bed and my wife wakes me up by announcing the UPS guy had driven into the yard. Before I can get out of bed, she ran out there and signed for the box. She brings it in and hands it to me immediatly inquiring to what's inside.

Now my wife has no idea of my activities while she's at work and the box contained the very object that had been the object of much joking and snobbery for us ever since a person who is no longer a friend of ours forgot theirs on the shelf in their shower when my wife went to use the bathroom.

So here she is giving me the rundown "What did you buy?" I tell her it's an ebay item. "What did you get from ebay?" I reply "Ummm, some baseball cards." She says giving me a stink eye "That's a pretty big box and it doesn't weigh very much." I quickly respond with "I guess they used this size because of the flat rate scale."

She went to work and it was the last it was ever brought up. The delivery was two days early and I have a PO box for my business that only I have the key to, but I forgot to make sure it was getting sent there. The package was two days early(which is comendable for EF) but if the UPS guy was just an hour later my wife would have already left for work and I wouldn't have this looming over my head "Is she going to bring it up again and get al nosy?"
06/23/2011
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Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
me and my husband don't keep things from each other and shop on here together, he helps me pick out my assignments as well.

Sorry you mixed up your shipping address
06/23/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Uh that's definitely not good! I can't exactly think of something that would upset a wife... OH SHIT! Yes I can! WOOPS! Lol. Ok, ok, ok. Stupid moment! I was thinking... hmm.. what would this object have been, a butt plug? How is that so bad. & Then I remembered what my partner could order that would piss me off real big and it came to me! lol Ooooh. If she's anything like me, you're one lucky S.O.B. lol Ha ha. Anyways, I'd definitely suggest you talk to her about it before she finds it and knows you've kept it a secret and could end in SERIOUS hurt feelings or worse, end up like I did and it was not pretty. If this object is what I'm thinking then keeping it a secret could really damage her when she finds it. I would strongly suggest talking about it somehow, someway. I honestly had a terrible experience and it left me devastated. Women aren't as crazy as they seem and it can truly have damaging effects on her. My partner now, does not engage in any type of behavior that would hurt me and has no interest, but if I found out he'd been keeping it a secret, I'd totally up and leave this 5 year relationship without a second thought. Can't be hurt by that kind of thing again. I'm not trying to correct you in any way, I'm just saying you should really sit down and listen to why your wife has such an issue with this sort of thing before you do something that could hurt her. You may find that her reasons are totally understandable and it just may change your thinking forever.
06/23/2011
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Sounds more like a "when in a relationship, learn from my mistake" story.
06/23/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
I guess I'm lucky, my husband supports me being here. His only responses are what do we have new
06/23/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Istanbull
Make damn sure you check your shipping address before to click that "finish payment" button.

I was lying in bed and my wife wakes me up by announcing the UPS guy had driven into the yard. Before I can get out of bed, she ran out ... more
Wow...cannot imagine what it is you bought...but as someone married for 31 years now, I can tell you, there "ain't no such thing as secret" from someone living in the same house. Better to share openly everything about your likes and dislikes, activities and issues. Makes life FAR less stressful. As for EF shopping...when we do shop, we spend HOURS together at the computer, looking, oohing, ahhing, and comparing reviews, TOGETHER. We decide what might be fun together, and spend the time waiting for delivery, planning our romp when the toy, pillow, whatever, gets here. That box, for us, means a "fun night ahead"!!! Good luck to you, and I hope your wife comes around to understanding whatever has you so stressed you feel the need to hide it.
06/23/2011
Contributor: ToyBoy ToyBoy
I had this happen to me, but it was not on EF, it was my mom, and I was 17. AWKWARD! I got out of it, but I'm sure she knew something was up. I have been living with my mom while ordering toys since I was 16, but my mom is supposed to be at work when the mail comes. When I was in high school, I would make sure packages came on weekdays, when my mom is 95% at work by 10. Now that I live at school, I try to get most of my packages delivered before I come home for summer. When I am at home, I have packages delivered when I know my mom and sister are at work, and I check the mailbox every 20 minutes between 10 and 12.
06/23/2011
Contributor: Istanbull Istanbull
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
Uh that's definitely not good! I can't exactly think of something that would upset a wife... OH SHIT! Yes I can! WOOPS! Lol. Ok, ok, ok. Stupid moment! I was thinking... hmm.. what would this object have been, a butt plug? How is that so bad. ... more
You nailed it, It was a butt plug and Maximus lube. I have a fleshlight and she knows about that. I am very open to her that yes, I do masturbate. Yes, I use toys. She just doesn't know that I also like to use toys in my mouth and anus too. She has her own toy box(that she never touches and has been used far more by me than her). She's not open to anything beyond Tab-A into Slot-B, especially anal. I know her enough to know she'll never be ok with it, let alone get excited and like the idea. She has an issue with it because "It's sick, gross & perverted". Our relationship is 16 years so I know she'll never leave me if she found out, I just want it to be the elephant in the room for the rest of my marriage.
06/24/2011
Contributor: Istanbull Istanbull
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyBoy
I had this happen to me, but it was not on EF, it was my mom, and I was 17. AWKWARD! I got out of it, but I'm sure she knew something was up. I have been living with my mom while ordering toys since I was 16, but my mom is supposed to be at work ... more
Get yourself a PO box. Trust me, when the package is going to that address, you have no worries at all about someone else getting it first. You can go get it while they are gone and if they are back before you, have it in the truck of your car. Again, under lock and key to which only you have. I made my own toys when I was 16, we didn't have the internet or Paypal and parents(especially Mom) like to snoop your checkbooks.

You can get a POBox for just 6 months so you don't have commitment while you're at school. It cost me $40 a year for mine.
06/24/2011
Contributor: Linga Linga
I can't imagine keeping anything from Daddy. I do understand why you feel you have to do it though. I'm lucky that my partner understands, encourages and joins in to every single kink of mine and I his.
06/24/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
A very sad story but... why would she feel she had a right to be upset about what you do to your body while you're alone? That's not good.
06/24/2011