Why are so many men so bad at sex?

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Why are so many men so bad at sex?

jazz4me jazz4me
Another post I commented on a sec ago really got me thinking about my past partners. I have been with about 12 guys give or take one or two. Only my current partner has ever made me have an orgasm, and as far as I can remember I don't think any of the others ever even tried it. How can men have sex with a woman and not care to fully satisfy her?
03/13/2011
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AYoungMan AYoungMan
I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. It's definitely more than half the fun.
03/13/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
I think it's just that they are too consumed with their own pleasure.
Also, the sexes are too different and I don't think guys can be in tune with us enough to have any clue how to truly pleasure us.
Sometimes ya get lucky and find a real gem.
03/13/2011
ajm4u ajm4u
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
Another post I commented on a sec ago really got me thinking about my past partners. I have been with about 12 guys give or take one or two. Only my current partner has ever made me have an orgasm, and as far as I can remember I don't think any ...
Because they are missing these tips on my blog:

link
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    Spam
03/13/2011
married with children married with children
I try to give my wife a orgasm everytime we have sex.
03/14/2011
leatherlover leatherlover
With my wife, she was never comfortable enough with her other partners so she could relax and enjoy sex. With me, we didn't have sex until about 9 months after we started dating, and we really knew each other at that point. Maybe that has something to do with it.
03/14/2011
That Guy That Guy
I've been disseminating really bad advice in order to make myself look better by comparison. MUAHAHAHA!
03/14/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
I think because it comes so easily for them they don't understand the complexities of a ladies parts
03/14/2011
ID42 ID42
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyStuff
I think because it comes so easily for them they don't understand the complexities of a ladies parts
Agreed.
03/14/2011
AYoungMan AYoungMan
Haha! That's pretty sad.
03/14/2011
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
If I was a guy I'd probably be offended by the sweeping generalization of this topic. And I can pretty much guarantee that if this topic had been called Why are so many women so bad at sex? there would already be about 150 posts and it would be a complete shit storm.
03/14/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by UnknownGirl
If I was a guy I'd probably be offended by the sweeping generalization of this topic. And I can pretty much guarantee that if this topic had been called Why are so many women so bad at sex? there would already be about 150 posts and it would be a ...
I agree with what you have said.

However, I was with a few men before my husband and my husband was the first I ever had an orgasm with. I think it has more to do with emotional attachment or love. Even though we'd only known each other a couple weeks, we were really into each other.

I think the men/women that are "bad at sex" are the one's that just aren't that into you and by "you", I mean the other party in the relationship, in general.
03/14/2011
tigerkate tigerkate
Quote:
Originally posted by UnknownGirl
If I was a guy I'd probably be offended by the sweeping generalization of this topic. And I can pretty much guarantee that if this topic had been called Why are so many women so bad at sex? there would already be about 150 posts and it would be a ...
Agreed. COMPLETELY.


And your current partner "made you orgasm"?
As far as I am concerned, you should be actively participating in your sex life to achieve orgasm.
03/14/2011
Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
I think if someone isn't able to please a woman in bed it is probably a combination of reasons...
lack of accurate info regarding womans genitalia
taking too many cues from porn
using what worked on someone else, that may not please current partner
lack of concern about partners orgasm
woman not telling partner what she needs
woman faking orgasms which lead partner to continue using ineffective techniques

I think it is definitly imperitive that, as a woman, we know our own bodies and how to please ourselves and are able to participate and articulate that into sex so that we are equally responsible for our own pleasure as our partners are.
03/14/2011
muffles muffles
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
Another post I commented on a sec ago really got me thinking about my past partners. I have been with about 12 guys give or take one or two. Only my current partner has ever made me have an orgasm, and as far as I can remember I don't think any ...
That's cold... don't put ALL men in the same boat, but communication can help a lot as pleasure piratess just mentioned - depending on what type of relationship it is, I suppose...
03/14/2011
Istanbull Istanbull
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
Another post I commented on a sec ago really got me thinking about my past partners. I have been with about 12 guys give or take one or two. Only my current partner has ever made me have an orgasm, and as far as I can remember I don't think any ...
I would chock it up to you keep seeking the same kind of guys before you make such a broad statement like this.

You already display a completely lack of responsability in the situation. "It's all the guy's fault".
03/14/2011
Andromeda Andromeda
Answer: because they have partners who don't communicate and instead just fake their way through without teaching their partner what they like. Each new sexual encounter is a learning experience a d should be treated as such. If you don't ask for what you want, you're never going to get it.
03/14/2011
zeebot zeebot
Because you weren't clear about what you needed, probably? I've been with partners who didn't make me come when I was younger, but I wasn't confident enough to tell them what to do. Everyone likes different things.
03/14/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by UnknownGirl
If I was a guy I'd probably be offended by the sweeping generalization of this topic. And I can pretty much guarantee that if this topic had been called Why are so many women so bad at sex? there would already be about 150 posts and it would be a ...
I have to agree - just the title is unfair. There are women that aren't great in bed as well, for a myriad of reasons. I've been with both genders and I don't find the percentage of men that I just wasn't thrilled with to be any different than that of women in all honesty. Some people are more sensually inclined, some people are more practiced, some people are more knowledgeable, and some couples are simply more physically compatible than others. Gender has nothing to do with it.
03/14/2011
shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
Another post I commented on a sec ago really got me thinking about my past partners. I have been with about 12 guys give or take one or two. Only my current partner has ever made me have an orgasm, and as far as I can remember I don't think any ...
some are selfish others I think,think they are doing the job right,I think alot of mens problem(and woman be the same)is they think if it works on one its going to work on the rest,and of course everyones different and like and get off on different things!
09/27/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I do not think all or even most men are "bad at sex."

I also refuse to look at it as a "man making me come." My orgasm is both my and his responsibility. I have to let him know what I want, I also have to take charge when I am having difficulty having an orgasm. It's rarely my husband's "fault" when I don't have an orgasm, and I refuse to blame him. Sometimes communication breaks down, sometimes one or both of us are not in sync, sometimes we have to work harder at it, and sometimes I have to listen to HIS ideas of what will work. If I didn't listen to his ideas about how to have more consistant orgasms at one point we never would have gotten interested in sex toys. That was his idea, spurred by my difficulty having orgasms after years with no problem. It was due to a lot of reasons, but I had to COMMUNICATE and so did he, until we solved the problem.

I don't look at sex as simply lying back and saying, "Give me an orgasm." The orgasm is my job, too.
09/27/2011
Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
Could also be that they don't have a lot of experience, or their other partners don't know what they want, so they just do whatever they think is pleasurable.
09/27/2011
Illusional Illusional
I don't think it's just really men, it's more of people.

I do agree, sometimes there are jerks who really just wanna get off and don't give a fuck.
However, I find that really if a girl is quiet and doesn't express her wants, the guy just goes by what he knows.

I spent a year sleeping with my boyfriend, always not really getting much out of it. He was gentle and did what had worked before and it didn't do much for me, I got a little wet but meh...nothing special. Then one night we were drinking and I was reading a smutty romance novel and I was like.. OMG this is so hot.
He took the book from me and was like "You like this?" I was like.. OMG yes I wish a guy would do this for me.

He closed my book and we had a long talk about it. He wanted to please me but I simply was too shy to tell him

I'm not gonna say I've gotten much better at this, but I usually voice requests over IM or the phone and I usually get what I want now.
09/27/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Takes two to tango - take your responsibility, too. The 1950's are over; do everyone a favor and educate yourself ... this applies to both genders.
09/27/2011
padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
Another post I commented on a sec ago really got me thinking about my past partners. I have been with about 12 guys give or take one or two. Only my current partner has ever made me have an orgasm, and as far as I can remember I don't think any ...
My first husband was not very good at sex but he didn't have much experience. He lost his virginity to me. I was also his only lover for many years. So he didn't really know what he was doing. I was also with a younger lover who didn't know what he was doing either. I think that men get better with age. At least that's what has happened in my own experiences.
09/27/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by UnknownGirl
If I was a guy I'd probably be offended by the sweeping generalization of this topic. And I can pretty much guarantee that if this topic had been called Why are so many women so bad at sex? there would already be about 150 posts and it would be a ...
yeah, i know, tell me about it lol
09/27/2011
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
Another post I commented on a sec ago really got me thinking about my past partners. I have been with about 12 guys give or take one or two. Only my current partner has ever made me have an orgasm, and as far as I can remember I don't think any ...
If I were not really in love with you, then I probably would be less inclined to put forth the effort or care deeply enough for you to figure it out if it doesn't come easily. Of course, it often helps to tell him what he's doing isn't working and NOT fake it for pity's sake. My wife got a lot more mileage after we got married because she finally fessed up about her faking it. After 3 years together, we finally had a real orgasm together. Love is a 2-way street...
09/27/2011
CreamySweet CreamySweet
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
Another post I commented on a sec ago really got me thinking about my past partners. I have been with about 12 guys give or take one or two. Only my current partner has ever made me have an orgasm, and as far as I can remember I don't think any ...
There are several factors to consider... But first Nina Hartly talks about us all being responsible for our own orgasms and that our partner is only helping us to get there. She had this posted on Eden so check it out. Awesome and very-very smart lady! Ok... so now to my humble opinion.

I think in part its poor communication from our side. Really, how often do you tell your man (or woman) what you like and when it feels good? Or when it doesn't and what might work better.

The next is arrogance and maybe a touch of overconfidence. I have had guys tell me they would rock my world! I will do you so good you will beg me to stop! You wont be able to walk! Bla bla bla. It all sounds good but its most often ego. And to posture so you pick them to give it up to over the less alpha guys. Really they dont think they are that good- but if the talk gets you to drop your panties it still worked for them.

When I was younger I used to fuck a lot... ok I still do but then I didn' t know either. Its been years of failure sex, ok sex and OMG!! Mind blowing sex that has taught me how and what I want. Now its my job to tell them- or teach them so they get better. If you think your great and never get told your not and this is why - how do you get better?

As an example... I am in a sexually open marriage. My husband is decent at fucking but incredible at giving me oral!!! My current boytoy is my sudo- gym trainer. Hes 23, like 6'5" or taller and in fantastic shape! An ass you could slap or bite to die for, and rock hard abbs, big guns and a huge 8+ inch dick that is very thick. Sounds perfect? Well... great at fucking if you like it hard, deep and six eays past Sunday. You get done and feel like you were on a roller coaster cause of being backwards upside down and sideways. But... if you want it any other way he doesnt know how cause his little 19 year old fuck bunny before me didnt know how to tell him what else he needs to know. His other flaw is hes not good at eating pussy so ge shys away from it. He has huge potential for being one of the guys you dream about to have in bed... and I will do my best through frequent practice to get him thete.

Anyway... some guys are just not going to improve. Some want to but just need some good non critical communication and help. Practice makes perfect as does patience. You just may have to take the lead no matter how big of a talker he is. XOX CreamySweet
09/27/2011
Total posts: 28
Unique posters: 27