Most Ridiculous Cosmo Sex Tip You Ever Heard

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Most Ridiculous Cosmo Sex Tip You Ever Heard

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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Lilith's Girl Friday
Is there something I can do for you? Anything? I think you deserve a favour of some kind for saying that. Thank you.
07/21/2011
Contributor: Rain. Rain.
"It's also pretty frustrating that they don't educate readers on the harmful effects of glycerin and sugars in the vagina and how it can lead to infections."

I agree. Cosmo is partially responsible for the WORST yeast infection I have ever experienced (I've only had a couple but still this was horrific). I was young and naive but I would be willing to bet that several of their readers and in their mid teens and wouldn't know any better. Hell even some older adults may not be aware
07/21/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
I can't hate on Cosmo entirely, because I wouldn't be here had I not saw an ad for EF in the back of an issue of Cosmo. However, I do agree some of their sex tips are pretty silly. Their sex articles in general are pretty repetitious, so the same dubious advice gets rehashed in issue after issue.
07/23/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
... Reading this thread makes me VERY happy that I've never picked up an issue of Cosmo. Sounds like a bunch of hacks are writing it.
07/25/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
... Reading this thread makes me VERY happy that I've never picked up an issue of Cosmo. Sounds like a bunch of hacks are writing it.
If I happen to pick up a copy of Cosmo, I don't even bother with the sex articles. It's the same crap every month. Same goes for the articles that are basically about how to get or keep a man. Seriously, this isn't the 50s! Sometimes, Cosmo has some good articles on health and women's issues, but those are few and far between.
07/25/2011
Contributor: TheSlyFox TheSlyFox
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. Spice
i've read lots of "tips" about giving hand jobs, such a biting, pulling pubic hairs, etc and of course no lube. i have no idea who these women tried their "expertise" on.
I know!!! Some of those tips are just dreadful...
07/30/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
If I happen to pick up a copy of Cosmo, I don't even bother with the sex articles. It's the same crap every month. Same goes for the articles that are basically about how to get or keep a man. Seriously, this isn't the 50s! Sometimes, ... more
The "How to Keep a Man" stuff is laughable if not down-right insulting. Where are the "Hey Guys, wanna keep that hot muffin you've been stuffin'...then do this!" articles?
07/30/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The "How to Keep a Man" stuff is laughable if not down-right insulting. Where are the "Hey Guys, wanna keep that hot muffin you've been stuffin'...then do this!" articles?
I agree. Most of the stuff they publish about men is pure bunk. They seem to do a lot of "what men are thinking" articles. I hate to say this, but it is been my experience that men aren't usually thinking about much at all when you ask them what they're thinking. They pretty much say what they mean.
07/30/2011
Contributor: Ava5 Ava5
Quote:
Originally posted by bunny love
Watch this video, touch him on the penis!



This thread is going to be great
lol! thanks for the video link
08/01/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
Thought I read nibbling his genitals once, that's a big no no
08/05/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
I agree. Most of the stuff they publish about men is pure bunk. They seem to do a lot of "what men are thinking" articles. I hate to say this, but it is been my experience that men aren't usually thinking about much at all when you ... more
And Maxim wasn't any better with their load of horse apples about what women want/like.
08/05/2011
Contributor: js250 js250
The two that got me in the most trouble a few years ago were:

1. Stick your finger in his butt when he cums. Ummm...NO!!! Not my guy, he about went to the moon, and not in a good way. I showed him the article and he told me that was complete crap for most men he knew. OOPS.

2. Stick a lifesaver in your vagina and let him get it out with his tongue. Well, after I had to find it with my finger and remove it, and a trip to the Dr. for yeast meds, we decided that really sucked!!!
08/05/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
The two that got me in the most trouble a few years ago were:

1. Stick your finger in his butt when he cums. Ummm...NO!!! Not my guy, he about went to the moon, and not in a good way. I showed him the article and he told me that was complete ... more
Unless you're Gene Simmons, I really can't fathom how anyone came up with #2. Idiots, all of them.
08/05/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
The two that got me in the most trouble a few years ago were:

1. Stick your finger in his butt when he cums. Ummm...NO!!! Not my guy, he about went to the moon, and not in a good way. I showed him the article and he told me that was complete ... more
Ridiculous. Some guys like anal stimulation, but you can't just spring it on them like that.

The thought of having to fish a Lifesaver out of my vagina grosses me out. I bet it was all gooey and partially melted. Ew...
08/05/2011
Contributor: Kinkypixie Kinkypixie
Unlike a lot of people in this thread, I love Cosmo. I would never actually take their tips to heart but the magazine itself is entertaining.
08/07/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by cuntofdoom
What's the most ludicrous cosmo sex tip you've seen? I want to create a thread/database of hilarity here.



The worst one that I've heard was the suggestion to put fruit in one's vagina, have penis sex, and then 69 so ... more
Stimulate his prostate by rubbing between his scrotum and anus. Other then making my hubby sore, this sure as heck did not do diddly for his prostate..which I DO know how to make happy...with my finger...inside, where it CAN do some good.

Where does that magazine get this stuff. It is like "close, but no cigar".

Ha, ha.

GREAT thread. THANKS.
08/07/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by Kinkypixie
Unlike a lot of people in this thread, I love Cosmo. I would never actually take their tips to heart but the magazine itself is entertaining.
Don't get me wrong; I enjoy reading Cosmo for its entertainment value. However, I generally steer clear of the articles relationships or sex.
08/07/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Stimulate his prostate by rubbing between his scrotum and anus. Other then making my hubby sore, this sure as heck did not do diddly for his prostate..which I DO know how to make happy...with my finger...inside, where it CAN do some ... more
Massaging the perineum works for some men, and it is generally less intimidating then anal penetration for guys who aren't experienced in that area. I actually tried massaging my hubby's perineum before trying anything more invasive.
08/07/2011
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
My favorite Cosmo tips:

1) "Suck on a cough drop and go down on him. The cool minty feeling will drive him nuts!" The one thing I actually did try when I was young and completely inexperienced. My then-fiance ended up with a mild chemical burn on his penis.

2) "When going down on him, sneak a finger or two into his butt! He'll hit the roof!" Well, they certainly told the truth on that one. The problem is the word "sneak", which suggests that you didn't ask first, and the "or two", which if you didn't ask, and are sneaking around and not using lube, I think any guy would freak to have two fingers suddenly in his butt. The roof he's likely to hit is the roof of your mouth, which would likely cause you to bite down. Either way, that'll land you in the ER quicker than the cough drops.

3) "After sex, grab your used panties from the floor and use them to tie your hair back! Not only will this show him that you're fun and casual, the intoxicating smell of your womanhood will get him turned on again!" Because every man goes crazy for a woman with underpants on her head! Especially dirty underpants! I don't think that will show you off as "fun and casual" so much as "making the man in question worry if he's going to be facing criminal charges for having sex with a woman obviously not in her right mind".
09/06/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by hyacinthgirl
My favorite Cosmo tips:

1) "Suck on a cough drop and go down on him. The cool minty feeling will drive him nuts!" The one thing I actually did try when I was young and completely inexperienced. My then-fiance ended up with a mild ... more
On point 3 and I can't even believe I'm about to admit this, but it's a total turn on to do it in public. Obviously you're not going to do this with a pair of granny panties, but a nice lace or silk thong or g-string does the trick. I cut out all of the crotch-liners anyway, so there's no worry about that showing. I've done it when we've gone to outdoor events and I ended up sweltering. Trust me when I say no one is paying any attention to what's in your hair.
09/06/2011
Contributor: Purple Feathers Purple Feathers
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
All of them. Cosmo is the worst place in the world to get advice. It's such a waste of paper.
I agree! The sad part is that so many women read it and regard it as a sort of relationship bible. Then the relationship fails and they blame the man or themselves and go right back to these magazines so they can read up on 15 ways to get over your man or something like that.
09/07/2011
Contributor: Beaners Beaners
Shake his balls.

A friend of mine and I used to make a dice-shaking gesture and a horrified face at one another in college after we read that one. Hilarious.
09/07/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I'd say the piece of advice that suggests wrapping a shoe lace around his penis and "flossing" it up and down... I hate to ruin their day, but you're supposed to stimulate it, not try to start a friction fire in his pubes.
09/07/2011
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
On point 3 and I can't even believe I'm about to admit this, but it's a total turn on to do it in public. Obviously you're not going to do this with a pair of granny panties, but a nice lace or silk thong or g-string does the trick. I ... more
But you didn't just pick up your dirty underwear from the floor after sex and tie your hair up. That's what I argue makes the girl look like a crazy person, rather than someone trying to do something sexy.
09/07/2011
Contributor: kadytheredpanda kadytheredpanda
My favorite that hasn't been mentioned: manipulate his dick like it's a joystick. 'Nuff said.
10/19/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by kadytheredpanda
My favorite that hasn't been mentioned: manipulate his dick like it's a joystick. 'Nuff said.
I'm going for the high score!!!
10/20/2011
Contributor: vanillaSpice vanillaSpice
I honestly can't remember the advice they were giving, but the sentence included the phrase "penis mommy."

Somehow, someone writing an article on Things To Do With A Boner thought that "penis mommy" was an appropriate phrase for... any context. Presumably an editor agreed.

Penis mommy.

edit: Although "bat his dick back and forth, like you're making tennis serves" probably comes in a close second...
10/20/2011
Contributor: mudpie mudpie
I read an article once that was about "the sexiest sounds to make in bed." They literally had a LIST that went like:

1. "Ooooooohh..."
2. "Aaaaaaahhh..."
3. "Mmm... mmm."
4. (heavy breathing)

Um, if someone needs to tell you what sounds to make, someone is doing something wrong!
11/15/2011
Contributor: Theaadrian Theaadrian
One of my RAs at school is writing a term paper on how much cosmo sucks
11/15/2011
Contributor: SugarLips SugarLips
I too hate Cosmo (and the like) for a million reasons. I've read the putting ice or frozen grapes thing in a couple different places--its just ridiculous. But what really makes me mad is how many times they tell you to put food items in or around the vagina...yeah, because yeast infections are soooo sexy. WTF.
11/17/2011