Well, he should ask her for marriage. I a girl gives him her most valuable thing in her life (verginity), then she shows him how much she trusts him. He must then rewards this trust with marriage Ring. It is simple and logic.
Myth or truth? (ready for this one?....) IF YOU GET THE MILK FOR FREE...is there ANY REASON TO BUY THE COW?? (yes, your GREAT GRANDMA DID USE THIS SAYING!!!!)
11/05/2011
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You're oversimplifying and making a lot of assumptions about both men and women as a whole.
Originally posted by
Moein
Well, he should ask her for marriage. I a girl gives him her most valuable thing in her life (verginity), then she shows him how much she trusts him. He must then rewards this trust with marriage Ring. It is simple and logic.
Just because two people have sex doesn't necessarily mean they want to get married, regardless of whether one or both of them are ending their virginity. The value of "virginity" is rather archaic, and I'm frankly surprised that the concept still persists, but to put it simply: not all women (or men, for that matter) care about it anymore. (I know that I don't consider the fact that I've never has sex with someone to be the most important thing in my life. It's not even on the list of important things.) Similarly, some people just may prefer not to get married, even if they're faithful to their partner in all other ways.
Having sex, whether its your first time or not, is also not strictly an indication of trust. It may just be an indication of lust and nothing more. I've known plenty of girls who had sex with their first partner simply because they "felt like it."
Furthermore, assuming that a woman "gives" her virginity to a man in exchange for marriage implies that the woman gets no enjoyment from sex, and the man gets no enjoyment from marriage.
It is not "simple logic." If virginity is such a big deal to a person that they only want to give it to someone who will marry them, that's something that the couple needs to sort out well ahead of time.
11/06/2011
I think that men want to get married will weather or not they get the milk for free.
11/06/2011
Overall, I don't think this is really true. Though I think sometimes it depends, and personal circumstances should be considered.
11/06/2011
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I have and had a hell of a lot more valuable things in my life than my "virginity." (My intelligence, my education, my sense of humor, my ability to think logically, my empathy... my car, my new shoes, the steak I had last week, my favorite shirt, my computer, my favorite sex toy, this great shade of lipstick I found, my library card.... hell I have a lot of things I value over "virginity." ) It isn't a big deal to a lot of people. I didn't see getting married as being "rewarded" and honestly, I see no "logic" to that statement.
Originally posted by
Moein
Well, he should ask her for marriage. I a girl gives him her most valuable thing in her life (verginity), then she shows him how much she trusts him. He must then rewards this trust with marriage Ring. It is simple and logic.
We got married because we were deeply in love and wanted to be together. We had sex because we..... want to have sex. We had sex LONG before we ever talked about marriage, and we've been married longer than most of our friends who "waited until the wedding night."
In most healthy relationships, sex isn't something a woman "gives" and a man "takes" (assuming it's even a heterosexual relationship) In healthy relationships, both people enjoy sex and both give and take, but most of all.... share! Sex is about sharing, not striking a deal with someone.
11/07/2011
If a guy wants to be with you, he wants to be with you. In the situation you gave, I seriously doubt that guy would have married your friend by now if they were not living together. It sounds like he's the kind of guy who doesn't want to commit, period.
11/08/2011
For some guys maybe, but not all. I think some people are just unsure of marriage, or just don't WANT it. I'm reminded very much of the movie "He's Just Not That in to You" -- two of the characters were in this relationship with no marriage in sight, but that had been together for eons.
... Personally, I would want to get married, but I can understand why people don't, too.
... Personally, I would want to get married, but I can understand why people don't, too.
11/14/2011
It depends on the relationship and where everyone sees themselves going. Sex is just one way that a relationship develops and if both partners want to get married or move on to dating then it will happen- if not, then it wont.
11/15/2011
It's a myth. I'd rather be close to the person I'm with before I get married so that there aren't any surprises later on. You should already have a good relationship, in every aspect, including sex before you are even engaged. You should live together before you are married. Marriage is a serious commitment. It's much harder to get a divorce than to just break up. If living with her has caused him to push off the marriage, it seems very likely that if they had gotten married without living together, it probably would have fallen apart anyway.
11/17/2011
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Nice response--but some guys do only want the cow's milk and the cows keep thinking "he'll change". That doesn't mean women and men shouldn't just live together, but to me it means that they both have to be on the same plate and be open and honest about what they want in life, not just the next 15 minutes!! This can happen at any age.
Originally posted by
Cherrylane
If you enjoy being around and caring for the cow, enough so to want the cow to yourself because you think the cow enhances your life and, dare I say it, you come to in fact Love the cow, whether or not you already get the milk for free doesn't
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If you enjoy being around and caring for the cow, enough so to want the cow to yourself because you think the cow enhances your life and, dare I say it, you come to in fact Love the cow, whether or not you already get the milk for free doesn't really matter. Because you want the cow.
To say that men would no longer want women as long as they could have sex basically assumes that the only thing women have to offer anyone is sex. If a man's experience with women has led him to believe that, then he apparently has horrible taste in women. If a woman believes that and isn't 100 years old, that's just sad.
If the guy isn't comfortable marrying the girl, it's not simply because he's getting sex. It's because he's insecure about their relationship and what marriage might change. It is a big investment. Whether or not he's getting laid has nothing to do with it. They should reanalyze why they wanted to get married, why it hasn't happened, and where they should go from there. If she's really all bent out of shape about it, and he actually wants to marry her, they will. less
To say that men would no longer want women as long as they could have sex basically assumes that the only thing women have to offer anyone is sex. If a man's experience with women has led him to believe that, then he apparently has horrible taste in women. If a woman believes that and isn't 100 years old, that's just sad.
If the guy isn't comfortable marrying the girl, it's not simply because he's getting sex. It's because he's insecure about their relationship and what marriage might change. It is a big investment. Whether or not he's getting laid has nothing to do with it. They should reanalyze why they wanted to get married, why it hasn't happened, and where they should go from there. If she's really all bent out of shape about it, and he actually wants to marry her, they will. less
11/23/2011
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Originally posted by
Ansley
Well, maybe living with her changed his mind and he's slowing trying to plan his exit strategy.
I think it depends on the individuals. Marriage is a complicated thing in this day and age and any number of things can sway a person into one ... more
I think it depends on the individuals. Marriage is a complicated thing in this day and age and any number of things can sway a person into one ... more
Well, maybe living with her changed his mind and he's slowing trying to plan his exit strategy.
I think it depends on the individuals. Marriage is a complicated thing in this day and age and any number of things can sway a person into one camp or another. less
I think it depends on the individuals. Marriage is a complicated thing in this day and age and any number of things can sway a person into one camp or another. less
11/23/2011
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YUP!
Originally posted by
Valentinka
Good point!
11/23/2011
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he wants to get married more than I do
Originally posted by
Bignuf
So...is it true? If you live with the guy...and he get's it "free", is there LESS drive to "put a ring on it..and say I DO" or does it really NOT matter and this "myth is busted"????? We had a BIG discussion with
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more
So...is it true? If you live with the guy...and he get's it "free", is there LESS drive to "put a ring on it..and say I DO" or does it really NOT matter and this "myth is busted"????? We had a BIG discussion with friends about that one! One of their daughters was being seriously courted by a nice guy. She had to move to find a good job, he followed. To "save money" they moved in together and now, the "marriage", which was going to be in about a year at most, is now THREE YEARS LATE and she keeps complaining he is "always making excuses now" and just does not want to commit. Hummmmm??? SO, how true IS it?
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11/25/2011
My boyfriend and I have lived together since we were 18. We aren't married yet because I just finished med school and so, we're paying off at least a portion of our student loans before we get married, since we want a nice wedding.
11/26/2011
some people think marriage can complicate or change things in their relationship they like it just the way it is
11/29/2011
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Ach, ja! Tut mir leid, dass ich nicht zurückgekommen bin =O
Originally posted by
RonLee
Absolutely.
Übrigens , verstehst du Deutsch?
Übrigens , verstehst du Deutsch?
Mein Deutsch ist überhaupt nicht perfekt, aber ich habe schon 5 Jahre studiert! <3
12/03/2011
It completely depends on the two people involved. I've been with guys casually, and not had to commit, and didn't have them try to commit to me. My current boyfriend though, started as a "friend with benefits," and we've been dating officially since about six months after we first got together.
12/04/2011
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I've heard this before...
Originally posted by
Bignuf
So...is it true? If you live with the guy...and he get's it "free", is there LESS drive to "put a ring on it..and say I DO" or does it really NOT matter and this "myth is busted"????? We had a BIG discussion with
...
more
So...is it true? If you live with the guy...and he get's it "free", is there LESS drive to "put a ring on it..and say I DO" or does it really NOT matter and this "myth is busted"????? We had a BIG discussion with friends about that one! One of their daughters was being seriously courted by a nice guy. She had to move to find a good job, he followed. To "save money" they moved in together and now, the "marriage", which was going to be in about a year at most, is now THREE YEARS LATE and she keeps complaining he is "always making excuses now" and just does not want to commit. Hummmmm??? SO, how true IS it?
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12/07/2011
I'm old-fashioned, I agree with this saying.
12/07/2011
Maybe after living together, the desire wasn't as strong. People change.
12/07/2011
I'd certainly never get married to someone I haven't had sex with. Sure, love is important but if there isn't any sexual chemistry then you're going to end up pretty unhappy. My boyfriend feels the same way.
If the people love each other enough to want to get married, they'll do it regardless. If people get married just so they don't have to feel bad about having sex, it won't last. Plain and simple.
If the people love each other enough to want to get married, they'll do it regardless. If people get married just so they don't have to feel bad about having sex, it won't last. Plain and simple.
12/07/2011
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Yeah. Getting the "milk for free" seems like it's not uncommon, but there are many reasons guys won't commit.
Originally posted by
geliebt
I think it's entirely dependent on the individual. Plenty of guys won't want to get married for many reasons, plenty will. It's all on an individual basis, like most things. Sure, some men might want to be with someone just for sex, but
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I think it's entirely dependent on the individual. Plenty of guys won't want to get married for many reasons, plenty will. It's all on an individual basis, like most things. Sure, some men might want to be with someone just for sex, but there are also many many men who want relationships and, indeed, marriage! These things are so subjective and different for everyone.
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12/07/2011
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Exactly. I think that if someone isn't gonna commit, it probably isn't ONLY because they can get sex.
Originally posted by
voenne
Yeah. Getting the "milk for free" seems like it's not uncommon, but there are many reasons guys won't commit.
And anyway, wanting to have sex is an awful reason to get married =\
12/08/2011
totally has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with the guy
12/08/2011
depends on the love. how strong is the love?
12/12/2011
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I agree. As a guy, I got the free milk for 3 years, but was afraid to make the commitment. It has everything to do with THE commitment. My advise is she should decide NO more free milk unless there is a decision; is he in it for the long term (get married) or not? If not, she should move on to greener pastures, so to speak!! Maybe instead of a cow, she might just find a long-horned steer!!
Originally posted by
jedent
totally has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with the guy
12/16/2011
"Well, women don't want to buy the whole pig just to get a little sausage, either." - friend from Facebook
Felt a counterpoint was needed.
(PS - My great-grandmother was a farm girl and she never used that saying. It was considered ridiculous.)
Felt a counterpoint was needed.
(PS - My great-grandmother was a farm girl and she never used that saying. It was considered ridiculous.)
12/17/2011
Quote:
It depends on the person and his individual motives really. Generally, I'd say it's a myth though.
Originally posted by
Bignuf
So...is it true? If you live with the guy...and he get's it "free", is there LESS drive to "put a ring on it..and say I DO" or does it really NOT matter and this "myth is busted"????? We had a BIG discussion with
...
more
So...is it true? If you live with the guy...and he get's it "free", is there LESS drive to "put a ring on it..and say I DO" or does it really NOT matter and this "myth is busted"????? We had a BIG discussion with friends about that one! One of their daughters was being seriously courted by a nice guy. She had to move to find a good job, he followed. To "save money" they moved in together and now, the "marriage", which was going to be in about a year at most, is now THREE YEARS LATE and she keeps complaining he is "always making excuses now" and just does not want to commit. Hummmmm??? SO, how true IS it?
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01/12/2012
If the only reason a man had to marry me was that he really wanted my body, I'd be terribly worried for the future of the marriage.
If a couple chooses to wait, that's their own decision and their right. But I'd hope they were marrying out of love and commitment, and not just a desire for religiously sanctioned sex.
If a couple chooses to wait, that's their own decision and their right. But I'd hope they were marrying out of love and commitment, and not just a desire for religiously sanctioned sex.
01/27/2012
Hmm. I've heard the saying, but I don't know that it's true in this day and age. I would also have to point out that it's really difficult to get a guy to stay in a relationship past a few months if you're not sleeping with him (or at least this has been my experience.)
01/27/2012