The "talk" vs education at school

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The "talk" vs education at school

klyte klyte 12/17/2011

Which would you prefer your children receiving?

Invited: All reviewers.

Discussion Topics

1.
klyte klyte
As parents, I know the talk isn't always easy. Sometimes, it's easy for us to skip out on responsibility when we think our kids will be educated by sexual education in school, and let's face it, some parents just don't even think about it. As sexuality grows more and more amongst the young population, which do you think is more suitable for their learning tastes?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
A common sense approach, a mixture of both.
33  (97%)
Just sexual education in school is sufficient.
Parental guidance only!
1  (3%)
Other
Total votes: 34
Poll is closed
12/17/2011
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Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
While I think it's important that kids should be able to talk to parents about sex, the sad truth is that parents are going to have different amounts of knowledge and differing opinions on the subject - some opinions are likely to be very negative and damaging, and a lack of knowledge on the part of a parent can lead to much bigger problems down the line.

Sex education programs in school tend to be pretty straightforward and, if not sex-positive, at least neutral. Of course, abstinence-only teachings that some schools use can be just as damaging, since teens who want to have sex are going to regardless (truthfully, I don't think sexuality has "grown more and more" among young people - it's just more openly acknowledged now). It's best if they're taught about contraception, as well, and some sex education classes actually skip over that subject or put it in a negative light.

I'd hope that both options would be available to growing young people, but I can't say which option is better because it all depends on what, precisely, is being taught, and how the teacher or parent goes about it.
12/18/2011
punkstar283 punkstar283
a mix
12/18/2011
klyte klyte
A mix does seem like the best solution, honestly.
12/18/2011
Mihoshi4301 Mihoshi4301
I think it makes sense to give reliable information to students in school once their old enough, and hopefully by that time the parents will at least have given them some form of the talk. That way no student goes through their teenage years without some kind of information.
12/18/2011
eeep eeep
A mix is necessary. While school covers some basic topics, it is done in a typical school way - basic cut and dry, from the textbook info. Parents need to talk to kids about it for several reasons, ones school cannot provide. Having someone you know and trust talk to you honestly about sex, STDs, and contraceptives makes them more real, and allows them to more comfortably ask questions than a classroom will. Some topics end up being especially awkward coming from parents, such as masturbation and anything that diverges from vanilla sex, and I think referring them to books, websites, etc. would help a lot with that.
12/27/2011
Highmaintenancegirl916 Highmaintenancegirl916
Parents.
12/27/2011
sexiskewt sexiskewt
I chose "parental guidance only", but I meant to select other! What I would really choose is personal research. While you get a basic overview in school, the way the information is presented can be damaging to a lot of kids. At my school the importance of abstaining from sex out of wedlock was emphasized over everything else... well, that erases the experiences of queer students, irreligious students, and students who for whatever reason don't agree with the institution of marriage. It's hardly ever going to be objective, and it's hardly ever going to cater to the specific needs of every student in the class.

Being encouraged to find the information you need without shame is a great option. "The talk" can simply be an acknowledgment that asking questions and reading books about sex is nothing to be ashamed of.
12/27/2011
The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I think a mix of both is best!
12/27/2011
blankthewall blankthewall
a mix of both is critical to learning about it from multiple approaches
12/28/2011
deltalima deltalima
I'll leave it to their own exploration and school.
12/28/2011
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I still have quite a few years to think about this, so ask me in several years. However, I think I'd like them to be able to talk to one of us about sex questions when the time comes. I don't know how accurate sex-ed will be then, but if they were given accurate information I'd like a mix of both. I'd want them to be comfortable enough to ask us to get them condoms or money so they could buy them on their own. I know boys will be boys so I don't have any expectations that they'll wait until they find "the one". I want them to practice safe sex practices.
12/28/2011
KyotoAngel KyotoAngel
Quote:
Originally posted by klyte
As parents, I know the talk isn't always easy. Sometimes, it's easy for us to skip out on responsibility when we think our kids will be educated by sexual education in school, and let's face it, some parents just don't even think ...
A mix of both, so long as they know about STD's (all of them) and use safe-sex every single time and don't start until they're at least 16 I'm good.
I heard once while I was in school still that there were middle school kids that got caught having sex in a bathroom stall. I don't want any of my future children to be teenage mommies or daddies.
01/01/2012
chibi1091 chibi1091
I'm going with a mix of both.
01/10/2012
leelee leelee
a mix of both
01/26/2012
corsetsaurus rex corsetsaurus rex
A mix is best, but I do feel schools recently are not holding up their end of the bargain, so more of the responsibility probably falls to the parents now to accept this fact and teach their children what they need to know in the short term.
02/28/2012
lukas24 lukas24
Hmmm...my parents gave me a book. It basically said that masturbation was 'often seen as dirty, but it's really fine'. To a young teen, that basically means really bad, and it also said that masturbation could be harmful to your health. That was the good part...my schools taught abstinence-only. So, I think the schools should give _real_ helpful info.
03/14/2012
Kat and Aaron(aaron) Kat and Aaron(aaron)
Will have to go with both.
11/28/2012
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 17