Vagina Confessions

Owl Identified Owl Identified
So I've been reading some different threads on Edenfantasys in which vagina owners express their anxieties about their bits. They like a certain stimulation too much, not enough, they're too responsive or not enough.

I wanted to start this thread so we could all see how widespread anxiety about this part of our body is - and how we're not alone, or freakish or defective in anyway. This thread is open to posts from anyone that owns a vagina - whether you are a cis woman, trans man, genderqueer vagina owner or a trans woman (regardless of operation status or what your genitals look like, your anxieties about this body part are also more than welcome here). Those that do not relate to this subject in a firsthand way are more than welcome to listen - in fact, I strongly encourage it! - but are respectfully asked to not comment. I would really love to see this topic be a dialogue between those who share these anxieties, and sometimes the input of people that don't understand these issues firsthand can deter us from being totally honest. I do not mean to alienate anyone, just to create a safe space for this conversation. Like I said, EVERYONE is welcome to listen, and if you want to start a parallel thread for your input then by all means; I would actually love to read it.

So what are we talking about? Well, our insecurities, frustrations, hopes, goals, etc for this. It could be anything from not being able to have a vaginal orgasm to not being able to conceive to not actually having a vagina but enduring the pain and stress of body dysphoria. It can also be about what you love about your vagina or heck, what it's learning to do! Starting...now!
06/10/2011
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Owl Identified Owl Identified
I'll start with my confession, which I may add to:

I have trouble finding positions during penetrative intercourse that hit my G-spot just right so I can orgasm from that alone. I usually need a little bit of assistance from clitoral stimulation to get off during intercourse. Vaginal stimulation outside of intercourse just seems to be easier to manage. It makes me feel a little bit sad because I want my partner to know how good it feels to be with him and that it's not any lack on his part, just a logistical problem, really.

I also have trouble having a clitoral orgasm when not in a recumbent position - I think it's just years of habit.

I have squirting orgasms, but they're really more like dribbling orgasms. I expel a lot of ejaculate, but it comes out in a very small stream. I am so jealous of those porn stars with their dramatic jet streams! I can also only squirt with a thin insertable object; a thicker one blocks up the flow of ejaculate, but if I pull out then the lack of stimulation halts the orgasm.

Other anxieties....hm...they 'll come later I'm sure...
06/10/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
I have a confession. I'm horribly ashamed of my body and getting naked in front of my partner is embarrassing. I'm secretly terrified that he'll turn away one day in disgust because I'm fat and I can't seem to do anything to get the weight off. Having PCOS keeps me in a perpetual state of being overweight and it's insanely hard for me to lose weight even when people tell me just to "diet and exercise more." It doesn't work like that and I'm horrified whenever I feel my stomach fat jiggle when he fucks me.

It's horrible. I broke down and cried about it the other day with him. He told me he thinks I'm beautiful, but I don't feel beautiful. I feel like an ugly fat slob and it's starting to really mess with me emotionally and mentally.
06/10/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
I've only had a handful of orgasms that didn't require clitoral stimulation, and I hate that vaginal penetration alone doesn't seem to do anything. Yes it feels good, but it would take me forever and ever and ever to finish without also involving my clit. When you involve my clit, I can have an orgasm in just a few minutes, and I feel like because I can orgasm so easily and my sex and masturbation doesn't go on for a really long time that I shouldn't speak on how well a lube works, even though I'm giving my experience with it and that's the whole point.
06/10/2011
Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I have a confession. I'm horribly ashamed of my body and getting naked in front of my partner is embarrassing. I'm secretly terrified that he'll turn away one day in disgust because I'm fat and I can't seem to do anything to get ... More
I think anxiety about how our bodies look is near-universal for women. There's always something that's less than ideal. Even though I'm thin and exercise a lot, I would be nervous to be naked in front of a man for the first time. My breasts are so small! OK, flat. It might look like I have tiny bumps in my videos, but that's only because I wear a bra with enough padding to stop bullets.

Plus there's a layer of cellulite that has always been on my thighs and is impossible to get rid of. Even when I was really sick and dropped to 90 pounds it was still there! Piling on muscle underneath the cottage cheese helps - when clothes are on.

Plus I have a large clitoris and labia. No one's ever commented on it but I'm self conscious about it. Even as a little girl I noticed that I was bigger there than other girls.
06/10/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I have a confession. I'm horribly ashamed of my body and getting naked in front of my partner is embarrassing. I'm secretly terrified that he'll turn away one day in disgust because I'm fat and I can't seem to do anything to get ... More
Have you ever heard of [this|link] book before? A lot of my big friends highly recommend it for a fat/size positive resource. They have said that reading other fat/big/curvy women share the same fears and stories of shaming, humiliation and self-loathing broke down the sense of isolation that for them was really painful. The book is Fat!So? and it comes from the fat positive movement and one woman deciding to ask a very important question: So you're fat...what's the big fucking deal?

Searching for fat/size positive communities online can be a great way to bolster your self esteem. I have had an eating disorder since I was 9 years old. I'm not exaggerating - I was NINE years old when I began drastically restricting my intake to the point of teachers forcing me to leave school and not come back in without a doctor's note. I thought I was fat and I was little pre-pubescent waif. And as a thin girl that still struggles to resist the habits of anorexia? Every time I hear a fat joke I cringe. Because I know that I am only beautiful and valuable as long as I'm thin and pretty. People help me find clothes in stores, but if I weighed 20 pounds more they wouldn't. The conductors on trains let me get away with forgetting my ticket, but they would simply kick me off at the next stop if I were bigger. It doesn't help my confidence to get treated well when I know it's because of my weight - which is an ever changing thing, and is not a product of my character, but an accident of biology for the most part.

In our society, women are taught that the less space they take up the better. Cross your legs - the guy next to you? Nah, he sits with his legs open, proud, full of confidence and the entitlement toward that space. Flatten and straighten the hair on your head, don't let it get "nappy" or too "unruly" - same for the hair on your body. The guy next to you? His afternoon shadow and hairy chest are masculine, strong, desirable. And while men do also suffer from fatphobia, women feel the sting extra hard because their bodies are constantly being policed and scrutinized in an extreme way. Even when a woman runs for political office - fucking presidential hopeful HILLARY CLINTON got scrutinized and criticized for her fat thighs, overly "masculine" dress style and face lift. Sad, really. My personal opinion? Take up all the fucking space you want, and anyone that can't deal with that? Tough shit. The trouble is convincing yourself that you DESERVE to take up that space.

So don't EVER feel like you're going crazy or that you're unstable emotionally or mentally for living in a society that constantly puts you down, tells you that you are less than. If anything, it's kind of a miracle that you are able to pursue a loving, healthy relationship with your partner and yourself in the face of all that. If anything, congratulate yourself on not allowing horrible, hateful, fatphobic people to halt your desire to experience pleasure and love and happiness and joy with your own body. I certainly congratulate you, and I wish you a lot of luck in your journey. I really do.
06/10/2011
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I think anxiety about how our bodies look is near-universal for women. There's always something that's less than ideal. Even though I'm thin and exercise a lot, I would be nervous to be naked in front of a man for the first time. My ... More
I've been with my partner for about five months now and I've been naked several times in front of him. I didn't feel like this when we first got together but the problem has come up as of late. I've been off of birth control and my body is all out of whack. It sucks and it just breaks my heart that I feel that way
06/10/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I think anxiety about how our bodies look is near-universal for women. There's always something that's less than ideal. Even though I'm thin and exercise a lot, I would be nervous to be naked in front of a man for the first time. My ... More
My mother had small breasts, about the size of mine (which you've all seen before hah) before she had me and my siblings. She breast fed us all, and after that she had no breast tissue - what you describe, just nipples, no fat. I grew up watching men in stores OPENLY make jokes about her body, listen to mothers of other kids at sports events whisper and snicker, and I've even seen her come home from work crying because her coworkers made up nicknames for her "just as a joke". I always tell her she's beautiful, but she says I don't understand. I guess I don't. It sucks though, I wish she could see how beautiful she is - she's so self conscious that she completely overlooks the guys that stare googley eyed at her, you know?

I'm also HIGHLY envious of large labia/clitorises, believe it or not. I also am extremely viscerally attracted to them - I just think they're sexy. I simultaneously want to have large genitals (probably more fun to play with) and also love being with women that have them!
06/10/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I've only had a handful of orgasms that didn't require clitoral stimulation, and I hate that vaginal penetration alone doesn't seem to do anything. Yes it feels good, but it would take me forever and ever and ever to finish without also ... More
For me, vaginal orgasms took a lot of mental work rather than physical work. I had to get to a point where I would become aroused and then think "Okay, I'm not going to touch my clitoris no matter what." Then I would relax, and just focus on what I felt inside. I had to get the idea that the orgasm was the goal out of my head, and when I finally did that I finally mastered vaginal orgasms (kind of). Even still if I get too focused on cumming I usually can't.

I also have an issue where my vaginal canal is pretty small and a lot of penetration makes me feel raw and uncomfortable after only a few minutes, so I can't enjoy intercourse for that reason too. It takes me a while to get off vaginally from the kind of blunt, non-specific stimulation that a penis offers to my G-spot, but after a little while I usually just want the fucking thing out of me lol.

The good news is you can HAVE an orgasm which is a pretty awesome thing! There are women that are 40 and haven't had one yet...which is a terrible shame! We gotta cut ourselves more slack, Sam!
06/10/2011
Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
My mother had small breasts, about the size of mine (which you've all seen before hah) before she had me and my siblings. She breast fed us all, and after that she had no breast tissue - what you describe, just nipples, no fat. I grew up watching ... More
It made me want to cry reading that. That's exactly what happened to me. I was very small before, but after breastfeeding my son, I'm now flat with ridiculous always-at-attention nipples. My mammograms look like a big swath of muscle, then near clearness that is mostly just flattened skin.

When I was pregnant, I tried a short haircut. Big mistake for a flatty. One time, when I was waiting in a line in a store to buy something, standing sideways to the counter, a 3 yr old girl stared at me and asked her mother "Is he a man or a woman?" As if that weren't bad enough, the mother just said "Shhh!" So the mother couldn't tell either? And I was 5 months pregnant!

I don't think I have a masculine face either. And I'm 5'3" and thin so that should help people classify me correctly. But maybe not with short hair and no makeup.

I completely feel your mother's pain.

Also, if your mother is interested in a recommendation for a padded bra that is super comfortable and totally works for flatties (what I use to give the illusion of small breasts), let me know.
06/10/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
For me, vaginal orgasms took a lot of mental work rather than physical work. I had to get to a point where I would become aroused and then think "Okay, I'm not going to touch my clitoris no matter what." Then I would relax, and just ... More
I will have to try that. Too much penetration bothers the hell out of me too. I have no idea how people can have sex for extended periods of time, I would go crazy and need tons of lube. I sometimes envy those who can have lots of long sex. Ours is mostly all foreplay and then 5-10 minutes of actual sex. It works great for us, but sometimes I feel like I should want to go longer.

But you are very right, being able to just have the orgasm is a pretty awesome thing. Here's to cutting ourselves some slack, Owl!
06/10/2011
shentel shentel
My confession is i have no clue where my g spot is.
06/10/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
I hate how fat my vulva is, even as a young girl it has always been very fleshy and prone to cameltoes. I like how my lips are hidden inside and its all nice and contained but the mons is always so puffy

I also have a mole on my inner labia that pisses me off, my husband thinks its cute though.
06/10/2011
Rockin' Rockin'
First I just wanted to say that I really appreciate this thread. Reading about other people's anxieties helps put mine in perspective. I hope mine will help other folks, too.

I feel anxious anytime my partner wants to give me oral sex because he loves giving it so much, but I don't feel that much pleasure from it. Even when he uses his fingers and his mouth, it can be frustrating instead of pleasurable. The idea seems so hot in my mind, but my body just doesn't want to respond to the oral sensations like I wish it would.

I'm starting to think my clit is closer to my vagina than other people's because rabbit vibrators often overshoot my clit when I've finally got them inside me deep enough. I feel like I can't enjoy rabbit vibes as much as I could if my bits were spread apart more. The same issue comes up when I try to touch my clit during partner sex and inevitably end up knocking into my partner's cock or balls with my hand/fingers/vibe. And that leads me to wondering why I need clitoral stimulation to come and why stimulation from intercourse just isn't enough (yet).
06/10/2011
Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockin'
First I just wanted to say that I really appreciate this thread. Reading about other people's anxieties helps put mine in perspective. I hope mine will help other folks, too.

I feel anxious anytime my partner wants to give me oral sex ... More
We're so similar! I confess that I don't enjoy oral either. Some men are into it and insist on doing it. Then I lie there mentally rapping my fingers on a table thinking "Are you done yet?" Even with men who are talented and vacuum-cleaner-like, its not enough for me.

The clitoral nubs of rabbits usually overshoot their mark on me too. You might like the Jopen Vr6. That one fits women like us.

This thread is quite therapeutic for me.
06/10/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
So I've been reading some different threads on Edenfantasys in which vagina owners express their anxieties about their bits. They like a certain stimulation too much, not enough, they're too responsive or not enough.

I wanted to start ... More
This is a great thread for women with insecurities about their bodies. And really, what woman doesn't have an insecurity?

I'll probably come back here with more insecurities, but I'll start with my vagina. I can't have a g-spot orgasm without stimulating my clitoris. I can squirt, but only if my clit is stimulated in order to bring me over the top. I really really want to be able to ejaculate from g-spot stimulation alone. I feel as though my vagina is underdeveloped or that it hasn't reached some final stage in sexual maturity and mastery. Sometimes I think I'm not fit to review dildos.

@VieuxCarre, I'm also ashamed of my body. I have a troubled past with life's battle scars on my heart and on my skin. Summer is awful to me because the heat can make covering up unbearable. I would be embarrassed and ashamed to be naked in front of anyone.
06/10/2011
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
My confession is that I've never liked anything about my female bits. I didn't really like the look of female parts when I was young and was always envious of the boys. Then when I learned all that I would go through in life because I had a vagina, it made it worse. That hasn't changed much.
I enjoy sex and can orgasm fine, but I still don't like the look of things down there and I've got a real hangup about oral. If I can get myself to concentrate on on how it feels, I'm ok, but if I even start to picture what he's doing I get grossed out and have to stop.
~M
06/10/2011
MaryExy MaryExy
I have NEVER had an orgasm with a partner. I think that's one of the main reasons I'm so much more into "giving" during sex. I'm very self-conscious about how much clitoral stimulation I have to have to orgasm; I hate that just a cock can't get me to orgasm, yet my guy can get off in so easily with sex, a blowjob, practically anything! I'm with ~Kris and Tuesday on oral, I just can't enjoy it! It kills me to have anyone try it now! And sex feels good, but it just doesn't even get me close to orgasm. It's irritating!

Every now and then, my guy will explicitly ask what gets me off, and I just freeze up. I think I'm just so self-conscious about putting remotely any focus on me when it comes to sex. I'm just dreading the day I need to spill the beans and talk about how I've just never been able to orgasm with a partner, no matter how good it feels

I'm also in the underweight BMI range (104 lb last time I weighed, and I'm 5'7"). I eat plenty, just my metabolism. It mainly bugs me because it makes me bony in some awful areas (my forearm is skinnier right above the wrist than my actual wrist is!) I'm also flat as a pancake (I can't even squeeze cleavage) and have stretch marks on my thighs somehow. Right now I'm TRYING to find a high-protein diet or something that I can easily fit into my schedule, particularly mornings. I've got half the mind to stop at a smoothie shop every morning and get some kind of bodybuilder's protein smoothie/shake... If I have time to work out now, though, it's generally late at night when I should be sleeping, so I'm not exactly sure if that's the healthiest idea...
06/11/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
I want to sit down and drink tea with all you lovely ladies.
06/11/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
I'm reading and thinking about all of these a lot before I respond, but I really love all of you for replying in this. I just want to make sure I have thoughtful replies, but thank you for sharing. It's pretty amazing, and you're all amazing.
06/12/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
OMG GREAT THREAD!!!

Alright, here goes!

I love my man, he can make me squirt like a firehose and he can make me orgasm during sex. But for whatever reason, I can't orgasm for oral.

We rarely have oral because I am so self conscious of my lady bits. I'm afraid I stink or taste bad. Ever since I got my UTI I have been having more vaginal secretions, sometimes it looks like a vaginal infection but it doesn't itch and there isn't any redness. It tastes horribly sour. So I often tell him not to give me oral in fear that I will taste gross. But I wish I was getting more oral.

I offer my guy blowjobs like crazy, everyday he gets at least one to two blowjob offers(it is not an exageration). I am a crazy giver I guess. But I wish my guy would put himself out there more often. I know he is tired but I hope once he is in better shape he will be able to offer me oral more often instead of me initiating or requesting it.

He has been more patient and more giving in the past few months but he has yet been able to bring me to orgasm through oral. He once spent one hour fingering me and stroking my clit. My thighs were shaking uncontrolably, it was so good but I was never able to get over the hill to "O" land.

I so wish I was able to orgasm this way. My guy is getting more and more patient but damn it's hard. I wish I had a magic orgasm button he could push after a few minutes of oral. It would make things so much simpler.

Ahhhh, that felt good *sips on tea*
06/12/2011
pixieluv pixieluv
Wow, what a wonderful post!

Lately, I have been on this website having fun, trying new things (just today I tried my first vaginal balls - or vaginal exercisers) and getting all excited for my Eden packages in the mail. This all started for me about three weeks ago when my hubby was going on a business trip and I wanted to try something different when he got home.

So what is this leading up to? Well, he comes home and I am all excited with new toys and he doesn't seem to be very interested at all! Instead he is wondering what the hell has gotten into me. So now I am feeling like an over-sexed maniac who my husband is not attracted to. I know I shouldn't feel like this and we talked a little (with the famous, I'm not sure what I'm feeling coming from him) but I am also overweight and began to feel like the more I try to improve and the more I try to turn him on the less he wants me.

Right now I am just going...WTF?!?!?
06/12/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by pixieluv
Wow, what a wonderful post!

Lately, I have been on this website having fun, trying new things (just today I tried my first vaginal balls - or vaginal exercisers) and getting all excited for my Eden packages in the mail. This all started for ... More
that is his problem, not yours. Don't let him bring down your self confidence and the joy you are feeling in discovering your body and sexuality. I am sure you are a beautiful woman and its his loss if he doesn't want to be intimate with you.


Naughty Student - check into Bacterial vaginosis, BV can cause the symptoms you are describing and is related to unblanaced PH, which can happen after a UTI.
06/12/2011
pixieluv pixieluv
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
that is his problem, not yours. Don't let him bring down your self confidence and the joy you are feeling in discovering your body and sexuality. I am sure you are a beautiful woman and its his loss if he doesn't want to be intimate with ... More
Thank you for that, needed a little shake . I more just want to slap him and say, "hey ummm do you want to sleep on the couch? Ask your friends if they are gettin it as good as you are and then bask in the fact that your wife is incredible" hahahaha

Speaking of vaginas, has anyone ever seen a production of the Vagina Monologues? Now there is a great celebration of female!
06/12/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by pixieluv
Thank you for that, needed a little shake . I more just want to slap him and say, "hey ummm do you want to sleep on the couch? Ask your friends if they are gettin it as good as you are and then bask in the fact that your wife is ... More
LOVE vagina monologues!
06/12/2011
ID42 ID42
I fucking love this thread! Before I get to my actual post I'm going to go ahead and say something about our certain female "stink". First off it doesn't stink. Unless you just need a shower. Then it might. But it's not like the men smell much better sometimes. And since there was mention of the fabulous Vagina Monologues... here's a quote... "Don't believe them when they tell you it smells like Rose petals when it's SUPPOSED TO SMELL LIKE PUSSY." Be wary of anyone boasting perfectly smelling bits. Or whining about the aroma of yours. Obviously they have no clue that, duh, it's supposed to smell like that.
06/12/2011
pixieluv pixieluv
Yes, men also smell and they can smell just as good or just as bad depending on if they shower. Now this may sound funny but when my hubby showers and I get to smell him clean, it smells a bit like oatmeal to me, not sure why but it does. I like his smell and I don't mind the taste either and quite honestly, I flash the taste up a bit with flavored lubes. I don't care what he did to make it yummy down there for him, it will always have me attached to it, smell and all.

I once went out with a man who stated he couldn't have sex with me because the smell gagged him. Oh geez! I thought it was me and then realized shortly thereafter that I have no problem. I now feel sorry for his wife.

@shentel: I am a 40 year old mom and I didn't ever find my G-spot until my husband hit it once when I was about 29 years old. Now I had been very actively sexual since age 16, but no one, not even me, hit that spot just right. While my hubby can be annoying and a pain, he fits me in just the right way. One day it may just hit you and you'll thin, "wow, okay there it is!"

For those with tiny breasts, it's always greener on the other side. Mine are huge and they drive me insane. I was a nice 36C before kids and two kids later I am a 44DD that I can't seem to get rid of. So many have told me that it will go away with the fat, but fat and 44DDs are still here. UGH! Do you know how heavy these things are an never mind having to wear a top 3 sizes bigger than the bottoms. I live in Hawaii where they make clothes for all the Japanese tourists, skinny and flat-chested. Oh how I wish sometimes I could be that sexy.
06/12/2011
Retro Retro
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
My mother had small breasts, about the size of mine (which you've all seen before hah) before she had me and my siblings. She breast fed us all, and after that she had no breast tissue - what you describe, just nipples, no fat. I grew up watching ... More
Reading this got me so angry! I can't believe those people! Your mother had your best interests and was providing for you. They make jokes about her body?! How insensitive.
06/12/2011
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I'll start with my confession, which I may add to:

I have trouble finding positions during penetrative intercourse that hit my G-spot just right so I can orgasm from that alone. I usually need a little bit of assistance from clitoral ... More
Have your partner put his finger on your g-spot until you come clitorally. Amazing amount of fluid! Also, it gets larger the more times you get off per session. Try coming to the brink, stop for a few, about 4-5 times and then let it go.
06/12/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by ID42
I fucking love this thread! Before I get to my actual post I'm going to go ahead and say something about our certain female "stink". First off it doesn't stink. Unless you just need a shower. Then it might. But it's not like the ... More
yes, there is a certain natural odor, but if you feel like it might be a problem check with a gyno and look into BV.

I love my smell, I have never had an issue with it unless its that time of the month. I HATE the smell of the blood, I feel like it follows me everywhere even after a shower I use sea sponge tampons so its not the chemicals from tampons or pads, just that blood odor.
06/12/2011
Total posts: 124
Unique posters: 59