Vagina Confessions

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Vagina Confessions

Darling Jen Darling Jen
My biggest fear/ insecurity about my vulva is that it's going to smell/ taste bad should a lover be down in that area. I mean, I know what I taste like and I can tell if something's 'off' with my environment and I stay very clean and well-balanced. But because of the romance-novel type culture we're living in where women are expected to be more than human (we don't have hair, sweat, or fart, etc.) even I feel worried that anything less than vanilla/ lavendar/ roses emitting from my vagina is "wrong".

Yeah, yeah, I know it's absolutely ridiculous. Seriously, I know. I took many a-health/ biology class and even wanted to go into med school for it. I'm also a pretty strong feminist and give credit to the vagina for being a self-cleaning, self-lubricating work of art. But knowing some people have other-worldly expectations gives me anxiety.

What I love about my lady bits is that I have finally discovered the art of squirting and it feels amazing! I was thinking about this recently and I wonder if it feels good to physically squirt or it feels good because I'm letting go and not trying to control it? Either way, it's spectacular.

I also love the size of my clit. It's small enough to be modest and adorable. But then when it gets excited, it can get a little stiffer and more pronounced. If it were any smaller, I wouldn't be able to stimulate it enough for my liking. If it were any larger, I'd be too uncomfortable with it with any future lovers.

What I want to have one day is a G-spot orgasm. What I've had, 99% of the time, are clitoral orgasms, which are very nice, don't get me wrong. And the rest (though they are few) have been blended ones. But I wonder if my body will ever really perfect the G-spot stim.

Also, it'd be nice to not have to work so hard to orgasm with a partner. If the stimulation isn't just right, if I'm not cool enough, if I'm not comfortable enough, it just won't happen.
06/12/2011
toxie m toxie m
I've never squirted, I rarely get off during oral (and if I do it takes 40 minutes minimum, during which I'm trying to enjoy it through all the guilt I'm feeling over how much my man's tongue must hurt by now) and my fetish for submission has become such that I usually can't get off without imagining some submission-related fantasy. I wish I wasn't so one-track there.

I'm also very small-chested so I was absolutely relating to the earlier posts on that subject, but I figured if we're talking vaginas, the herp is the insecurity I'm going to confess first.

My whole sexual world flipped over last year when I found out I have genital herpes. I didn't get it from sleeping around (I hate that I feel that I have to even explain myself there, stupid stigma), it was just one of those unfortunate things. I'd actually been celibate for close to a year when I started seeing this fellow I really liked. But, herpes symptoms don't always show up and everyone thinks they're good to go and then BAM - well, that sucks. Said lad and I are still on good terms but it was a hell of a dramatic time to get through.

I've been with my current boyfriend for just over a year now and he's wonderful. So far so good, he seems to have not caught it from me despite the unprotected sex we have. He says he doesn't care about catching it because he loves me and this is longterm (we plan to marry someday), but my biggest insecurity is that I'm sexually a risky partner. It feels really shitty to think about, especially with the internet and all the ignorant and hurtful things that get said in anonymity. It does suck to have a life-long STD but it sucks even more to have that stigma permanently attached. And while my boyfriend has accepted me completely, I stress over keeping him safe and clean (and I hate the word clean because I have to live with the unfortunate label of "unclean" for the rest of my life).

Monitoring your vagina for signs of outbreak is just so absolutely unsexy. And I don't always want to bring it up to him when I'm feeling iffy because it puts a damper on things, so I'll sometimes just give vague excuses for why I don't want to have sex just now and feel quietly crappy about myself. I just wish my sex life could go back to being less complicated than it sometimes is. As of now I have about one outbreak every 3 months but it's not exact and so I'm always watchful for the signs. It's hard for me sometimes not to preach at my sexually promiscuous friends to be more careful and treasure their freedom without "outing" myself. It's a little depressing to think that if I was single I'd never be able to have casual sex again because I need to get to know a guy and go through the whole disclosure process. Sigh.
06/12/2011
pixieluv pixieluv
Quote:
Originally posted by toxie m
I've never squirted, I rarely get off during oral (and if I do it takes 40 minutes minimum, during which I'm trying to enjoy it through all the guilt I'm feeling over how much my man's tongue must hurt by now) and my fetish for ...
I can relate also on that issue, while I don't have genital herpes, I have another one HPV (human papillomavirus) which causes genital warts (EWWW) and sometimes can cause cancer. I loathe the man who gave it to me and secretly wish his dick would fall off, but my hubby was very understanding of it. While I have only had one outbreak of warts in 14 years, it is still there that I carry this and constantly have to be alert with my vagina.

While we have a medical condition, we are not "unclean". And while sex can be complicated, it will be regardless of having a medical condition or not.

Hugs!
06/13/2011
toxie m toxie m
Quote:
Originally posted by pixieluv
I can relate also on that issue, while I don't have genital herpes, I have another one HPV (human papillomavirus) which causes genital warts (EWWW) and sometimes can cause cancer. I loathe the man who gave it to me and secretly wish his dick ...
True say. Thanks, lady I got kinda choked up writing my post there and I really appreciate the response <3 I have a ladyfriend who also has HPV and we had some good times commiserating together. Ahhh, life.

This thread really is lovely.
06/13/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
My biggest fear/ insecurity about my vulva is that it's going to smell/ taste bad should a lover be down in that area. I mean, I know what I taste like and I can tell if something's 'off' with my environment and I stay very clean and ...
I am actually EXTREMELY particular about environmental stuff with sex as well. I've gotten better over time trying to relax myself, accept and be okay with slight discomfort, etc but I have a tendency to micromanage stuff otherwise I have more trouble staying aroused and getting off.

I think in my case it may come from being a survivor of sexual trauma; there's a certain need to control a lot of little things surrounding the sex and if I feel - as you said - too hot, too cold, in the wrong position, I am snapped out of the moment and the mood. Again, I've been working a lot on letting go of the anxiety that comes with letting go of the illusion of total control, but I do empathize.

I would have to say that the vast majority of my orgasms are blended - equally present in both my clitoris and the urethral sponge area. Take away one kind of stimulation in those situations and the orgasm itself either halts or just lacks. I can achieve quickie clitoral orgasms most anytime, but they aren't as fulfilling for me. However, G-spot orgasms without clitoral stimulation definitely require a special kind of mindset in which I ignore my clitoris - which I have come to think of automatically when it comes time to get off. Are there some women that just do not like G-spot stimulation and never will? Absolutely, and that's more than fine. But if you have enjoyed a blended orgasm than to me (and hey, I'm not a doctor but I do have a vagina) that you are receptive to G-spot stimulation. And that under the right circumstances a G-spot orgasm could be possible for you.

The biggest revelation came for me when I just relaxed and enjoyed how it felt. I know everyone says that, and it's like "I don't want to meditate when I'm masturbating; I WANT TO HAVE AN ORGASM!" I relate to that, I do. But I began to love internal stimulation once I finally set aside time and to be like "Okay, this is not necessarily orgasm time, this is learn about my body/make myself feel good time." It wasn't instantaneous; it happened incrementally over time, and it was well worth it.
06/13/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by toxie m
I've never squirted, I rarely get off during oral (and if I do it takes 40 minutes minimum, during which I'm trying to enjoy it through all the guilt I'm feeling over how much my man's tongue must hurt by now) and my fetish for ...
Thank you for being brave enough to share this, because even with the anonymity of the internet world I know there must be many people on this site that deal with this and don't feel able to talk about it. Without knowing it, you've probably made at least one or two people feel less isolated in what they're experiencing, and that's pretty awesome.

I do not have herpes or genital warts, but I have quite a number of friends that do. In addition to just being a physically painful affliction, I have seen how it has seriously damaged their self esteem and has inhibited or totally paralyzed their sexual lives (as a result of painful outbreaks, low self esteem or the anxiety of disclosing.) There is one thing I want to share that comes immediately to mind. It is that there are many, many people out there without STIs/STDs share your issue of disclosure. For example, one of my very best friends in the whole world is a trans man. He also has to face the issue of disclosure every time he wants to have a sexual encounter - and due to the issue of violence against trans people, it is not just potentially embarrassing but also potentially fatal for him to "out" himself to a casual, one night stand partner.

I do not mention him to invalidate what you are experiencing - quite the opposite. I mention him because I want you to know how many people out there absolutely need to have conversations before they have sex; it is not "optional" for them. Please don't feel isolated. I also know a young man who was very badly sexually abused during his childhood and he cannot have a sexual encounter without first mentioning this and listing potential triggers - in other words "never say this to me during sex or it will trigger a horrible memory" and things like that. This more or less stops him from being able to have casual encounters as well.

Truth be told, more of us SHOULD be having pre-sex disclosure conversations. There SHOULD be more dialogue surrounding sex, regardless of what prompts it. For you, it is not a choice because you are a respectful, ethical person that values the other person's right to consent to sex with you fully informed. It was something you were denied and do not want to deny anyone else, and that's the way our world should be. But for those of us that feel we have the "choice" not to, we should be doing it anyway. This thread is a perfect example of how much stuff we all have going on in our minds when we have sex, and in a perfect world...if only we could articulate all of this! I hooked up with someone the other day, and it was his first time ever having sex. So we talked a LOT before hand, and it reminded me of how I neglect to fully communicate with partners before hand far too often.

I understand - not firsthand, but intellectually - that this issue of disclosure is a burden for you, but in reality, what you are doing is actually far healthier, safer and respectful than what so many others are. I really have to say I have massive amounts of respect for you and my heart goes out to you because it has been a few of my very good friends and family that I've watched weep over this. Congratulations on your relationship, and the best of luck to you in everything.
06/13/2011
Miss Voluptuous Miss Voluptuous
I can definitely relate with how tricky it can be to find positions in penetrative sex that feel really good for my g-spot. The two positions I find work best for this are:

1. if i'm laying on my back with either my knees on my chest, or legs extended up, or my legs over my partner's shoulders.

2. lying on my front with my ass in the air while my partner stands or kneels and penetrates me from behind.

Those are what have worked for me so far. I mean penetration is pretty fun in any position but sometimes I can't really feel it very strongly. When I fuck in those positions though it feels very good.

Ha... what's funny these days is actually being able to recognize that I've had a vaginal orgasm when doing partner sex. I remember I used to have trouble recognizing when I had a clit orgasm with a partner when I was new to having clit orgasms. Now similarly I'm new to having vaginal orgasms. So last time we were going at it, my partner asked "did you come?" and I was like.... "uhm... maybe.... a little?" because I wasn't sure! Looking back on it, I'm pretty sure that I did have a vaginal orgasm (or two, or three) but because the sensation is more subtle I didn't know for sure. I guess this is more of a psychological distinction than a physical one, but it would be nice to be able to tell my partner that indeed I did orgasm.

Speaking of partner sex, I find that we are slowly getting more in tune when it comes to my orgasms. It's been a tricky road to navigate communication about what feels good for me, enough to push me over the edge. We are getting there though, and it's a longer and slower process than I could have ever imagined. I think it's teaching me patience and appreciation for little things and other kinds of stimulation. Also it's making me appreciate the process of being able to have this kind of pleasureful back and forth with a partner. I think that both of our bodies are learning.

Tough times living in a culture where female sexuality and pleasure is viewed as mysterious and elusive at best. Thanks for starting this discussion, Owl Identified.
06/13/2011
Miss Voluptuous Miss Voluptuous
Quote:
Originally posted by Bunnycups
I want to sit down and drink tea with all you lovely ladies.
Yes.
06/13/2011
Miss Voluptuous Miss Voluptuous
I also want to say something to all the large ladies out there who struggle with their body image, self esteem, etc. etc. Probably people with other kinds of body issues can relate with this as well.

I totally know where you are coming from. I struggled with these issues SO MUCH when I was growing up. Holy crap I thought I was horrible and disgusting for YEARS and years and years. Even thinking about it now makes my stomach kind of tighten up and makes me feel a bit anxious. It is so hard to have feelings like that about yourself. It shuts you down on so many levels, an self-perpetuates. Dark thoughts beget more dark thoughts and on and on and on. It's like depression really, and often depression and this kind of self view go hand in hand.

Really though I want to speak to you as someone who has emerged from these issues as a whole and grown woman. And no, I did not loose a bunch of weight. I still look much like I did when I was younger, except I'm a woman now. I'd say there are two major shifts that have happened with me, and they both have to do with health. One side is mental health and the other side is physical health. They compliment each other and nurture each other, much like depression and self despising do, but in the opposite direction.

And you know... it was pretty fun to do. On the mental side, I was very fortunate to be with a partner who really gets off on people who don't fit the conventional beauty formula. He is a deeply perverted man who LOOOOOVES my extra flesh and the idiosyncrasies of my body. Not only my body, but the bodies of many women, in fact. Being with him has really driven home the fact that people are into all kinds of body types and that all kind of body types can be incredibly arousing. Part of my healing has involved getting more perverted myself. I am very attracted to larger ladies now, and this has massively (ha pun) nurtured how I view myself. I'm not saying I don't have self doubt about my physique, but I'm really on a completely different plane than I used to be. Some of my large idols include the incredibly talented international burlesque star Dirty Martini and hot as nails porn sex goddess April Flores. Look 'em up. They use their extra flesh to incredible effect. Not only that, they are examples of women who really inhabit and live in their bodies and love it.

On the physical level, I've just put some time and energy into learning what foods to eat so that I feel good, and making exercise a part of my lifestyle. For instance I almost always commute by foot or bicycle or bus... all of which involve some simple, easy exercise.

Also on the physical trip, learning what kind of clothing makes me look really good has been a very rewarding journey. I spent a lot of hours watching What not to Wear, and observing how sexy women with a similar physique as mine dress. Learning what cuts to look for and what kind of garments really emphasize the strong parts of my body has been so delightful. Now when I get dressed in the morning I can really feel like myself and feel confident that I look good. Not only that, but when I'm at the shops I know what kind of cuts and styles to pull. Empire cuts and a-line skirts are what's up in my world.

Love to you all.
06/13/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I am actually EXTREMELY particular about environmental stuff with sex as well. I've gotten better over time trying to relax myself, accept and be okay with slight discomfort, etc but I have a tendency to micromanage stuff otherwise I have more ...
I totally understand, I had to learn to let go and just let the orgasms happen instead of controlling them. I am also the survivor of sexual abuse and I think that has something to do with it, trusting my husband was a big leap for me. Now I am finally comfortable letting him take total control and dominating me, the orgasms are amazing!
06/13/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
I totally understand, I had to learn to let go and just let the orgasms happen instead of controlling them. I am also the survivor of sexual abuse and I think that has something to do with it, trusting my husband was a big leap for me. Now I am ...
I'm still very much a top by nature - I do not get turned on by being in a submissive roll most of the time. However, I also have 100% MORE fun when I let go and don't try to micromanage every detail. It's difficult, but it's a work in progress.

Also Silvi I loooooooove you so very much !
06/13/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
that is his problem, not yours. Don't let him bring down your self confidence and the joy you are feeling in discovering your body and sexuality. I am sure you are a beautiful woman and its his loss if he doesn't want to be intimate with ...
OMG really :S I will check into it for sure, thanks for the heads up. I will finally have a balanced ph and pussy eating will be back on our sexual menu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!1
06/13/2011
Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by toxie m
I've never squirted, I rarely get off during oral (and if I do it takes 40 minutes minimum, during which I'm trying to enjoy it through all the guilt I'm feeling over how much my man's tongue must hurt by now) and my fetish for ...
Hey Txymxy---

I'm proud of you for sharing, and disclosing to your boyfriend, and living your life.

To minimize your boyfriend's risk a little more, have your doctors recommended the drug that reduces your viral load? I have a dear friend who got herpes, and he now takes (I believe it's a daily pill) which reduces viral shedding to nearly nothing. I don't know it's name offhand, but I could ask him if you want to ask your doctor about it.
06/13/2011
Antipova Antipova
Wonderful thread idea, OID. I followed you over here from the 'disappointment toy thread', and I wanted to reply to a few things you and Tuesday brought up about clit size.

Tuesday: Don't feel bad for having a sensitive clit. I'm envious. You have a much wider array of toys that will work for you. I'm pretty sure that everyone with a Clit O'Steel wishes they were more like you. / I don't think less of anyone who is more sensitive than I am. Believe me, its not a badge of honor to have desensitized yourself with years of Magic Wand use. / I'm also wondering whether this is why seams never bother me. I can't feel them.

OID: I also wonder if clitoris size has anything to do with it? I have a very small clitoris and so I think maybe it's easier for it to be overwhelmed by touch because there is a smaller area, more concentrated nerve endings? / Also I think the seam thing is separate; I had a girlfriend who pretty much liked her clit pulverized but made me trim my fingernails down to the quick because if I even grazed the inside of her with one she'd flip.

Tuesday:
There might be something to your size theory. I'm quite well endowed in the clitoris department.

My thoughts (er, observations):

I've got a fairly large, low-hanging clit (as in, pretty much any missionary position sex means my clit is stimulated by my partner). And it's pretty sensitive---judging by reviews, I'm more in line with OID's vibration sensitivity. I usually (always) prefer a dildo and manual clit stimulation when masturbating to clit stim with a vibrator. During sex, if an over-zealous partner starts to use his hand on my clit it can easily be too much for me and I'll have to ask him to stop.

Unlike OID, though, I don't need much time to get warmed up at all. Sex is awesome once I can gasp out "penetration is enough, don't fiddle with my clit at the same time."

And, I really love intensely-textured dildos, but I can't stand seams. I wound up with both sorts of sensitivity there.
06/13/2011
Antipova Antipova
And now for my confessions:

Despite my sensitive clit, I have never had an orgasm from oral. I can only assume this has more to do with a mental block than a physical one. It bothers me less or more depending on the partner... most guys have difficulty hiding their relief when I "let them off the hook" by saying that receiving oral isn't my cup of tea. But some guys take a hit to their ego that they can't please me in that particular way, which is a shame, because it's totally me and not them. And I wish I could learn how, for their sake... but I don't know what I'm missing. Tongues just don't feel like anything to me.

My partner can get me to squirt, but I can't do it myself, and I really wish I could learn how. I am starting to suspect that, usually, when I start to have an orgasm, my muscles stop moving. My partner keeps up what he's doing, and that can get me to squirt, but when my muscles are controlling a dildo, they stop moving and so my orgasm is just a plain ol' orgasm. I wish I could figure out how to override myself.
06/13/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Awwww I lurves all you ladies. This thread gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Txymxy, I send you so much love! I think you were speaking for so many people that couldn't say all of that themselves. You are not unclean or less worthy of love or any less desirable. You're an amazing person and I'm SO glad you found someone to see that and not let anything else block that from view. Any STD, disease, condition, or disability is not the end of life and certainly not the end of love. Rock on, sister!!!

And I so relate to the body image issues of the other curvy women!!! Ugh! It can sometimes get stuck in my head and makes it hard for me to enjoy feeling good. But I think I'm just teaching myself to be pickier about the company I keep, cause I don't deserve surrounding myself with people who make me feel bad about myself. And neither do any of you!
06/13/2011
sweetiebelle sweetiebelle
I squirt quite a bit when I get off. The guys I have been with find it "Sexy" most of the time but I find it gross and messy. When I first started doing it I thought I had peed on my boyfriend, I was so horrified! But then he reassured me that it wasn't urine (I always use the toilet before sex/fooling around, so it couldn't be) But I still get nervous and warn guys before we fool around.
06/13/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I am actually EXTREMELY particular about environmental stuff with sex as well. I've gotten better over time trying to relax myself, accept and be okay with slight discomfort, etc but I have a tendency to micromanage stuff otherwise I have more ...
Is it possible to have a g-spot orgasm without squirting? I can definitely feel it, but I don't squirt unless I stimulate my clitoris while I get that feeling. I want to be able to squirt without touching my clitoris at all and just get off from the mechanical use of a dildo. Until I do I think I'm going to feel like I'm lacking.

I'm also a survivor of sexual trauma. Joining Eden has really helped me with my body and learning to enjoy it. I never really enjoyed sex and I know it is because of what I've experienced. Even when I had the mindset and desire it was like my body wouldn't forget. I had vaginismus. It was embarrassing not being able to have sex because I was just too tight and closed up. When it came to masturbating not only did I feel guilt over wanting pleasure, but when I actually tried to pleasure myself I'd end up bleeding just by fingering myself with one finger. I guess that's my real vagina confession, although I have almost conquered it. Sometimes I'm tighter than other times and I think that depends on how I am feeling emotionally and subconsciously.

As far as my body goes there are areas I am more self-conscious of of course, like any other woman. I wish my legs were longer and that I was leaner. However, my biggest problem was just hating myself so much after surviving sexual trauma. I'm not overweight, but I think the self loathing is the same. I'd hurt myself for several reasons, but one reason was to make the ugliness I felt inside of me come out. Of course it never did and the relief was only temporary. After lots of therapy, support, trial and error I'm a healthy and stable woman, but I still have my scars. There is a stigma with them. People stare and some even ask how I got them. Once at a party a guy grabbed my arm, looked at the scars on my arm, looked back at me and shook his head without saying a word. I stay covered up all the time now, even in the summer. I feel much better about myself, but the scars will always be a horribly shaming embarrassment and a reminder of how messed up I was.
06/14/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Bunnycups
Is it possible to have a g-spot orgasm without squirting? I can definitely feel it, but I don't squirt unless I stimulate my clitoris while I get that feeling. I want to be able to squirt without touching my clitoris at all and just get off from ...
The closest person to me in the entire world also has this - being covered with scars - and though they are closer to me than anyone else I don't think I'll ever fully understand what caused them to act out against themselves in that way. I will say that it prevents this person from getting jobs, wearing comfortable clothes in warm weather, and many other things. I don't understand it personally, but this is someone I would literally do anything to make okay and whole and it is agonizing to watch them grapple with these permanent reminders of that period of their life. I really can't imagine what that's like to be inside of that experience, I just know that it's horrifying to experience from the outside watching someone you love so much go through it.

I have another friend who has vaginismus who hasn't explicitly stated it but has implied it is a result of trauma. I have given her some toys to use as dilators - mostly very small silicone toys designed for anal beginners like this one. Unfortunately for her, I think her attempts at progress in this area are very erratic because I can see she gets discouraged very easily when she doesn't see results. Her partner is also less than supportive, and I think she very much needs that. I do not have that physical block, but I have plenty of mental blocks as a result of trauma and my heart goes out to you as you struggle with this.

Also, it's very possible to have a G-spot orgasm without squirting! And it's possible to squirt without having an orgasm as well. Vaginas are basically magic, I've determined. They can pretty much do anything they want to.
06/14/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
The closest person to me in the entire world also has this - being covered with scars - and though they are closer to me than anyone else I don't think I'll ever fully understand what caused them to act out against themselves in that way. I ...
I am a recovering self injurer, I guess its luck that my scars are not bad, I'm very pale so they are very invisible lines now. I stopped when I got pregnant with my son and had one relapse last year, I have an incredibly supportive husband who helped me get to this point. Its hard to explain why I do it, its like.... I just can't feel anything or cry until I feel that pain and see the blood. I still have some minor SI habits but they aren't as visible so people don't notice. I pick at my scalp until it bleeds, pick at scabs etc. It has lessened a little with my anti-depressants but not a whole lot.
06/14/2011
pixieluv pixieluv
Quote:
Originally posted by sweetiebelle
I squirt quite a bit when I get off. The guys I have been with find it "Sexy" most of the time but I find it gross and messy. When I first started doing it I thought I had peed on my boyfriend, I was so horrified! But then he reassured me ...
I also was concerned about this in me as well. The first time I squired I was horrified that I had just peed all over the place. It didn't smell like urine, but I was completely embarrassed. I later discovered that it was simply that, squirting and that it was no different than a man cumming. Just in case though, I always pee and wipe well before sex as I want to make sure that squirting is just that.

I also love the comment about vaginas being magical, because they ARE!
06/14/2011
Eucaly Eucaly
I don't like that the female parts are so complex. It feels unfair that most penis-owners have very easy orgasms from usually the age of 13 or so with little or no instruction, while there are many vagina-owners don't have orgasms at all until age 18-30 or sometimes even later, and often a LOT of instruction is needed.

I really feel like each vagina-owner needs to be given a couple of the best-quality books and 3 or 4 of the best toys at age 13 to make for an even playing field.
06/15/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Eucaly
I don't like that the female parts are so complex. It feels unfair that most penis-owners have very easy orgasms from usually the age of 13 or so with little or no instruction, while there are many vagina-owners don't have orgasms at all ...
I was lucky to feel secure to explore my body when I was 12, I orgasmed for the first time from manual stimulation at that age.

I do agree though that we should have more info!
06/15/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was lucky to feel secure to explore my body when I was 12, I orgasmed for the first time from manual stimulation at that age.

I do agree though that we should have more info!
I was having orgasms very early, I remember having them around 8

now for g-spot and other type of orgasms I didn't discover until I became sexually active.
06/15/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Eucaly
I don't like that the female parts are so complex. It feels unfair that most penis-owners have very easy orgasms from usually the age of 13 or so with little or no instruction, while there are many vagina-owners don't have orgasms at all ...
The flip side is that a penis owner is almost always limited to one-and-done. Vagina owners can have multiple orgasms for prolonged enjoyment - I've all wasy envied my wife's orgasmic advantage!
06/15/2011
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
There's two things that very much bother me about my vaginal area. The first is that one side of my labia minora (that's the soft, wrinkly skin over the opening - unless I'm getting my terms wrong, which is entirely possible) is a bit larger than the other. I really have no reason to believe that to be abnormal, but it still bugs the hell out of me, mainly because the larger side occasionally abrades against my panties and gets a bit itchy. It's not tremendously often, but it's very annoying when it does happen.

The other is that, when stimulated vaginally (sometimes clitorally, but not often), there's a fair chance of my bladder letting go (and I've checked, it is indeed urine, not squirting). I can hold it in, but it can feel a bit unpleasant to do so. That's one major reason that I go for waterproof toys almost exclusively. It's a lot easier to deal with such "accidents" in the shower.
06/15/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
The closest person to me in the entire world also has this - being covered with scars - and though they are closer to me than anyone else I don't think I'll ever fully understand what caused them to act out against themselves in that way. I ...
That friend is lucky to have you. It was really hard to know my pain was also hurting people who loved me. I wanted so badly for someone to understand what I was going through, to not feel alone. I also wanted more than anything to be normal and feel whole, if not for myself than for those who suffered watching me hurt. You may never fully understand it, you are a good friend and support system. That's what matters. Even though my scars are a painful reminder and they prevent me from doing things, when I'm with people who accept me for who I am I forget the scars are there.

When I progressed with getting over vaginismus I had left my fiance, who also wasn't supportive. with him I had mental blocks too. On my own I was able to work at it on my own pace and there were no expectations from anyone else. I've decided to remain abstinent until I am completely comfortable with having sex with someone who understands this condition and loves me no matter what. It was a good decision for me. My ex had really made me feel unattractive and abnormal. He was not a good lover. I never had an orgasm until I joined Eden and began experimenting with toys. I think because I was able to relax on my own. Your friend needs to be really patient with herself. Sometimes I'm too tight and it is discouraging and frustrating, but I have to remember that I'm still improving and it takes time.

Haha, vaginas are magical. Good to know I can have a g-spot orgasm without squirting. I still want to squirt from g-spot stimulation alone. With some practice and magic hopefully I will one day.
06/16/2011
Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Bunnycups
That friend is lucky to have you. It was really hard to know my pain was also hurting people who loved me. I wanted so badly for someone to understand what I was going through, to not feel alone. I also wanted more than anything to be normal and ...
oh yes, g-spot orgasms are not magical squirtgasams, I have to have the stimulation JUST right for squirting to happen, and it is never because I am trying.
06/16/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Wondermom
I am a recovering self injurer, I guess its luck that my scars are not bad, I'm very pale so they are very invisible lines now. I stopped when I got pregnant with my son and had one relapse last year, I have an incredibly supportive husband who ...
Not being able to feel is the worst. I haven't relapsed in years, but sometimes I think about self injury a lot. When I do I use some tricks to help, like making the water really cold at the end of a shower or touching ice. Antidepressants are good, but they need to be combined with some sort of therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy. You learn how to use other outlets and basically brainwash yourself into thinking differently.
06/16/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
We're so similar! I confess that I don't enjoy oral either. Some men are into it and insist on doing it. Then I lie there mentally rapping my fingers on a table thinking "Are you done yet?" Even with men who are talented and ...
Add me in too! I've never been big on oral stimulation. It just doesn't bring that much pleasure to me. I have friends who can only have an orgasm that way. I've never had one from oral! I thought maybe something was wrong with me because every woman I know loves it and I, like you Tuesday, am usually ticking off the moments waiting for penetration to start!
07/01/2011
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