Vagina Confessions

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Vagina Confessions

AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
OMG GREAT THREAD!!!

Alright, here goes!

I love my man, he can make me squirt like a firehose and he can make me orgasm during sex. But for whatever reason, I can't orgasm for oral.

We rarely have oral because I am so self ...
I want the button too!
07/01/2011
Rockin' Rockin'
Quote:
Originally posted by AngelvMaynard
Add me in too! I've never been big on oral stimulation. It just doesn't bring that much pleasure to me. I have friends who can only have an orgasm that way. I've never had one from oral! I thought maybe something was wrong with me because ...
It's good to know there's another person with similar feelings!

I was talking with a friend about this the other day, and there's a ton of things she'd rather be doing than receiving oral, so that made me feel happy. Part of why it isn't amazing for me is that I'd rather have more contact with the person with the upper part of my body. I can touch the giver's head, maybe, with my arms, but otherwise it's just my legs around them. Eh. I like feeling body-to-body close with someone and having their face nearer to mine.
07/01/2011
Jenyana Jenyana
To tell you the truth, I don't like my vagina all that much. I don't think it's weird, because most people don't like people who hurt them, and my vagina gives me so much pain, so often, that it¡'s only natural that I'd grow to resent it.

You see, I'm built rather small down there. So small, than anything bigger than a finger or two makes penetration incredibly difficult and excrutiantingly painful. Doctors call this dyspareunia and alternate between telling me it's all in my head and threatening to open it up surgically to see if that would improve matters...

But surgery may even make things worse, since in some cases, surgical scarring can cause even MORE pain.

It's not a problem for me when I'm marturbating, since I concentrate mostly on my clitoris anyway, and if I want to be penetrated there's always anal or thin and soft dildos that won't hurt me, but as soon as I try to share my bed with a guy things get nasty. Very few men are willing to accept that they can't have penetrative sex with me and don't seem to grasp how much it actually hurts me when I inevitably give up and let them have a go. No matter how often I tell them that if we're going to do this, it's going to have to be SUPER SLOW AND GENTLE, they always end up forgetting themselves and thrusting happily away, thinking that it's only painful at the beginning, or something.

I wish I could fix this somehow, and I've made some progress with vaginal dilators, but not as much as would be needed to have painless vaginal sex with a guy.

Needless to say, I've never been able to orgasm with just vaginal stimulation alone. Why can't guys be happy with just frotting and oral? Why is it that intercourse is so important to everybody that I'm considered a freak because I can't have it?
07/09/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenyana
To tell you the truth, I don't like my vagina all that much. I don't think it's weird, because most people don't like people who hurt them, and my vagina gives me so much pain, so often, that it¡'s only natural that I'd ...
I am SO sorry to hear that. And I'm not sorry about the vagina you were born with - there's nothing 'wrong' with how you are even though it may be inconvenient. You're not a freak and you can enjoy sex and intimacy just as well as any other woman!

What I'm sorry about is how insecure it's made you and about how a lot of men are total jack asses!!! Most men are really only concerned with their own pleasure and could give a damn about the woman involved. (Not all, just most in our culture. It's safe to say most men on this site would be the exception. ) The percentage of women who orgasm during sex would be a lot higher if they did. But then a lot of them are so absolutely arrogant that they think THEY are the cure for whatever issues you have with sex. Ugh! I'm surprised you haven't kneed one in the balls and asked him how that feels.
07/11/2011
Jenyana Jenyana
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
I am SO sorry to hear that. And I'm not sorry about the vagina you were born with - there's nothing 'wrong' with how you are even though it may be inconvenient. You're not a freak and you can enjoy sex and intimacy just as well ...
Thanks for the support! It's hard to talk about these things with most people I know, which is why I'm trying to be more open about these things in accepting communities such as this one...

Whenever I'm dating a guy, I always dread the moment things get hot and clothes start to fall off and I need to put the breaks on and tell him there are limits to what we can do... it's not always well-accepted or understood.

It's easier, in a way, to date women, because they're generally more understanding about it and not all of them are big fans of penetration themselves, but although I'm bisexual leaning on pan, I still am more primarily attracted to men. And men *are* big fans of penetration, as a rule. -_-

Im starting to think there should be a mutual penetra`tion agreement. You can penetrate me as long as I can do the same to you (the joys of harness play!). How careful I am the second time will be directly proportional to how careful *you* were. That might make them think twice about being careless and causing me pain, methinks. XD
07/12/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenyana
Thanks for the support! It's hard to talk about these things with most people I know, which is why I'm trying to be more open about these things in accepting communities such as this one...

Whenever I'm dating a guy, I always ...
Haha! That sounds pretty awesome to me actually! Let me know how that goes.

And I think it's a good sign of the character of a man if he doesn't seem 1. to be concerned at all with your pain, 2. if he insists on doing what he wants despite what you say would be best for you, and 3. if he promises to be 'careful and gentle' and conveniently forgets it during sex. Not wasting any more time on those men is probably for the best.
07/12/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I pretty much have come to terms with the fact that "vaginal orgasm" with no clitoral stim is not going to happen for me. I sometimes can come from PIV if I just had an orgasm through oral AND using my Wahl AND some implement of My Man's hand hitting my G Spot AND my A Spot. *sigh* It's a LOT of work to get me to come. A LOT of work.

My insecurities now come from the fact that I have orgasms so difficultly. Everything has to be right, we have a virtual ritual just to get me there the first time. The Wahl or the Hitachi is a given. I may no longer come without it. The difficulty with having orgasm came BEFORE I started using sex toys, but I sometimes wonder if my mind is holding me back, because even after a few years of using toys I still could orgasm from oral and manual sex together. But, the orgasms became so weak and unsatisfying and difficult that I gave up on trying to have them without electronic help.

I used to be able to have an orgasm in minutes! I used to ask My Man to stop and do something else, or I'd orgasm too fast and early during our love making session and then lose interest. I had a glorious period that lasted about 6 or 7 years when I could have multiple orgasms AND easy orgasms. Now, I have to work for my first one. I usually get more than one, but after the first few (usually he goes down after I start to come from the Wahl and then I either have a really long orgasm, or have several) they are easier, but less intense.

It seems somehow....unfair that it used to be SO easy and now it occupies a lot of my waking hours in worry. Silly thing to worry about. I just thank The Heavens that My Man suggested sex toys, or I'm afraid I might be avoiding sex at this point in my life. I love sex and I am thankful for the periods of time when the orgasm are easier and quicker. There seems to be a cycle and now I'm always waiting for the next awful time consuming issue to happen, or when I am having problems, wishing I'd get back in the groove.
07/12/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
How in the world is this the first time that I have seen this post???!!! I love the women here...first off, kisses to everyone that has posted.

My confessions..I have major labia issues. I feel like my labia is too dark and pronounced. It really bothers me, although my husband tells me I have a pretty pussy lol.

Also when I had my episiotomys giving birth, with one child I was cut between the vagina and my anus and popped a stich. I feel like it made the space there too small. (I know its not but I have the fear nonetheless) and on my youngest child they cut me sideways, leaving a scar. Grrr, as if I wasn't self conscious enough.

I always wonder if the way I smell is going to gross him out. You would think that my insecurities would ease after all of the years we have been together.

I guess this thread just goes to prove yet another reason that I love Eden. People are so open and we can discuss anything. Thanks, I don't feel like such a goober knowing that people that I truly respect have the same fears that I do. Muah!!!
07/12/2011
lexical lexical
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I have a confession. I'm horribly ashamed of my body and getting naked in front of my partner is embarrassing. I'm secretly terrified that he'll turn away one day in disgust because I'm fat and I can't seem to do anything to get ...
VieuxCarre, I am right there with you. I also have PCOS and insulin resistance and I'm fighting hard to lose weight...It's just not working I just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain. At least one person here completely understands.
07/12/2011
lilmamma lilmamma
I have a confession..Im a mom with 2 kids and Im still as tight as a virgin! My husband and I make love all the time and he loves that Im still so tight it hurts at first still. I have no idea how I got this lucky and I hope it never changes! my only problem is that it takes me FOREVER to even start to feel an orgasm coming on since I've had the babies. And we have and are still trying everything to make it better or faster. Course lack of sleep doesnt help. We used to not use anything at all and I would orgasm so fast just from him! That kinda sucks!
07/12/2011
phunkyphreak phunkyphreak
I have a confession--I hate my ass! It is huge! I started calling it my own little state as a joke but I really mean it. I think that everyone has issues with there bodies I know that I have many. I am happy that my husband loves me for every inch I have. I wish I could see what he sees. I just see fat and ugly.
07/12/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by phunkyphreak
I have a confession--I hate my ass! It is huge! I started calling it my own little state as a joke but I really mean it. I think that everyone has issues with there bodies I know that I have many. I am happy that my husband loves me for every inch I ...
*hugs* I know what that feels like. To my husband I'm the most beautiful thing in the world, but it seems like all I can really do when I look in the mirror is pick apart things I wish were different. I agree that everybody has issues with their body, whether it's something really small or something bigger, I think everybody has an issue sometimes.

*big hugs again*

You are beautiful!
07/13/2011
brittany8612 brittany8612
i think my vagina looks like an old lady vagina after giving birth
08/04/2011
TameTemptress TameTemptress
I love this thread. It's so nice to not feel alone in feeling a certain way.

I feel like my labia are too large, though in reality I know I'm normal.

I have difficulty orgasming from penetration only, and it can take a LONG time.

I have trouble enjoying oral when I can't get my thoughts to just leave me alone, I'm always worried about how I smell even if I've just had a shower (my husband has never complained, and I know everything is just fine down there)...

If I get too much clitoral stimulation, it's over for me. I can be almost there, but if the stimulation changes or stops and then starts again differently, it can end up being uncomfortable and too much. I can't seem to orgasm at all once I've had too much, it just becomes uncomfortable to be touched. That is super frustrating...I don't even know if that makes any sense to anyone but me.

I worry about my weight, I too have PCOS. My husband is a fitness nut. He is always working out and I feel so inadequate sometimes next to him. It's all me though, he never says anything.

I worry about my scarring. From giving birth (episiotomy with #1, tearing with #2). Stretch marks from my pregnancies. Amazingly I even have one from delivering my first child, right down the mons. It's kinda funny, like a lightning bolt, haha...but it bothers me, though I'm probably the only one who notices it.

Typing all of that out makes me feel like a MESS.
08/04/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by TameTemptress
I love this thread. It's so nice to not feel alone in feeling a certain way.

I feel like my labia are too large, though in reality I know I'm normal.

I have difficulty orgasming from penetration only, and it can take a LONG ...
Awwww you're not a mess! I can relate to one-two-three of those things of yours! You're not alone. And I'm so glad to hear that your husband loves who you are. So you should love you too.
08/04/2011
toxie m toxie m
Quote:
Originally posted by TameTemptress
I love this thread. It's so nice to not feel alone in feeling a certain way.

I feel like my labia are too large, though in reality I know I'm normal.

I have difficulty orgasming from penetration only, and it can take a LONG ...
I totally have the "too much clitoral stimulation" thing too sometimes. It can be going great and then the feeling somehow shifts and I'm not even sure what changed except that it suddenly is just way more stimulation than is comfortable. Definitely frustrating, I hear ya!
08/04/2011
DixieDoo DixieDoo
I am not an anorexic girl. I am larger than the average norm of "real" sized girls. This to me is embarrassing. Especially my thighs, I feel like they are huge and that is the most embarrassing thing of all. Sure, guys look at me, but I think to myself 'yeah and are they still going to look when I get naked?'. I am pretty insecure about my body. Oh, and have I mentioned that I am only 5"5'? Yeah, I'm that "short fat" girl that skinny girl refer to. And, I'm built just like my mom (who is taller than me by the way so it's going to be worse on me) who, when pregnant, has a huge ass and hips. That said, I really want kids but I know I am going to be even more insecure when that time rolls around because I know I am going to get way bigger, and remember to put that weight on a short person.

I can squirt (sometimes) but when I do it's more of a puddle than a squirt.

It feels really good to say all of this, to get it off my chest. The best part of all, no one here knows me so it feels great to be able to say all of this and feel like I am not going to be judged.
08/28/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenyana
Thanks for the support! It's hard to talk about these things with most people I know, which is why I'm trying to be more open about these things in accepting communities such as this one...

Whenever I'm dating a guy, I always ...
Just so you know, my friend that has vaginismus is now seeing a guy that is VERY supportive of her. They have not had vaginal intercourse yet and they do not plan to as after years of putting herself through hell with it, she has decided that it's just not possible for her and it's not worth the pain and mental distress to try to force it. Her boyfriend is more than happy with the other kinds of sex that they engage in and I hope you know that there ARE many men out there that are understanding. Plenty of men have, for example, endured sexual assault and can understand that - for example - some survivors (like my friend) have vaginismus as a result. Other men just don't LOVE or NEED penetrative sex, or they may enjoy it but they enjoy YOU and your company MORE.

Unfortunately, it sounds like you're meeting the wrong guys, but I don't think that you should give up hope. I think it's important to enter a sexual relationship of any kind with strong boundaries, and I speak from personal experience when I say that it can be very, very hard to assert those boundaries and stand up for them. That's harder than anything. It's harder than finding the right partner, or finding that magical position, all that. Accepting yourself for who you are and loving yourself enough to defend your right to have boundaries and to feel safe and happy and free of pain and distress during sex? Very difficult, but possible.

I wish you so much luck with this, but I have a lot of faith that you will reach a resolution with this. You may one day enjoy some form of mild penetration, perhaps you won't. Either way, there's no right way to have sex, and the truth is - as we see in this thread - what people do to get off in the privacy of their bedrooms is a lot more complex and often more difficult than what movies and sitcoms lead us to believe. Sex is complicated!

Also, the mutual penetration thing? NOT a bad idea at all! My guy and I do a lot of harness play and his sensitivity to my body has DEFINITELY improved as a result. Being in that vulnerable position yourself definitely teaches you a respect for how delicate an operation penetration can be. Obviously, you can't demand mutual penetration of an unwilling party, but I don't think there's anything wrong with seeking a willing party! In fact, I think this is a really wise move!
08/28/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by DixieDoo
I am not an anorexic girl. I am larger than the average norm of "real" sized girls. This to me is embarrassing. Especially my thighs, I feel like they are huge and that is the most embarrassing thing of all. Sure, guys look at me, but I ...
DixieDoo, I am one of those girls that bigger girls will say "skinny bitch!" about in a voice that I know I'm meant to hear, and? I absolutely love bigger women. I enjoy all body types but if I can be explicit for a moment, there is nothing sexier than having my face between a pair of beautiful, thick thighs. I had a girlfriend that was REALLY self-conscious about her thighs and tummy and her cellulite, but it was crazy because she was gorgeous and her body was incredibly sexy. Cellulite is just a part of the human body I don't see the big deal.

So, just keep it in mind that the exact things that you hate about yourself could be the very things that are making strangers squirm in their seats with lust when they're near you. Seriously!
08/28/2011
(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
I've never had an orgasm with a man's penis inside me. We've tried, but I just can't do it. Also, I can't have an orgasm if he's using a vibrator on me from behind, but I can when we're face to face.
12/06/2011
(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Quote:
Originally posted by shentel
My confession is i have no clue where my g spot is.
It's relatively simple to find. It's about 2 inches inside your vaginal canal, on the front. If you insert a finger and curve it, you'll feel a spongy area. That's the G-spot.
Hope that helps!
12/06/2011
wildorchid wildorchid
Ummm, why the eff did this thread ever stop?! I'm bloody crying up here in Canada! This promises to be a long post...

Confession number one, I am self conscious of my vagina for two reasons, one is that my inner lips are drastically asymmetrical. There is nothing wrong with them, just the way they are and I think it looks weird. I have never had a man comment on it. Two, all my life, I had a mole on my pubis mons, a huge one. That made me self conscious, then my doctor decided to be safe an remove it, now I have a 1.5 cm of a scar where the mole used to be and I think that might be worse. It's not the prettiest scar as it was not done by a dermatologist (live and learn). We're talking Frankenstein scar here, small though it may be. I know it's just me, my man does not even notice it.

Second confession, even on Eden I have not heard of a woman who PREFERS vaginal penetration to clitoral stimulation. In fact, I find it very difficult to orgasm without it. It can happen, but it takes forever. I feel a bit weird about that. I know there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, just more of a comfort thing. Is there ANYONE out there in the Edensphere like me?

Also, ladies is it just me or is it totally fine with you if you don't have an orgasm during sex? I don't mind at all and can feel just as satisfied without. Doesn't stop my man from trying though

Third and most painful confession for me: I CANNOT recreate my first orgasm! I have no idea why this bothers me, probably because it was so amazing. It was my first and I am lucky enough to be able to say that my first real orgasm was a g-spot orgasm from my then boyfriend fingering me. I had no idea what had happened until I thought about it after. Scared the shit out of the guy because it caused me to shake uncontrollably. Somehow though, I knew that there was nothing wrong with me. Although I have had many g-spot orgasms since, I have been unable to have one that intense that lasted that long. Urgh! So frustrating!

And just thought of another one: I have been actively masturbating since I was a small child. I had no idea what it was and I always stopped before I came because I thought I was going to pee. I loved it so much, I told my best friend and we started masturbating while in the same room with each other! I know for sure I am not the only one, but no one ever admits it.

Anywhozzle, I love this thread. Hope to bring it back! Love my Eden ladies (and guys). Great way to vent and get some stuff out there. For the next people who read this, if you haven't read the whole thread, try it, it is amazing!
03/10/2012
Tuesday Tuesday
Quote:
Originally posted by wildorchid
Ummm, why the eff did this thread ever stop?! I'm bloody crying up here in Canada! This promises to be a long post...

Confession number one, I am self conscious of my vagina for two reasons, one is that my inner lips are drastically ...
You're right. This is indeed an awesome thread. And it proves that there is no TMI in EF forums.

I'm with you in not minding if I don't come during sex. It still feels good and a big part of the wonderfulness of it is that warmth and closeness with the other person. I really dislike pressure for "success" during sex.

I want to have your first orgasm too! Cytherea shakes when she comes. I want to be like that too. But alas, it never happens.
03/10/2012
LusciousLollypop LusciousLollypop
This thread is too amazing. I feel like I'm not alone

I want to discuss how much it bothers me and that it is literally a phobia of mine to have a man lick and tease my vagina with his mouth. When I was 15, some guy I was dating (whom I dated for like.. 4 years after this) we were experimenting since I ALWAYS sucked his cock and I wanted him to experiment with going down on me. He was more than happy to do that and even a little too excited. We always "walked around" the neighborhood which was surrounded by tree's and little paths and always found a "spot" to experiment since we were pretty much huge exhibitionists.

Anyways, he went down on me for the first time. And I was enjoying it but I wasn't thrilled. I let him do his thing. Mid-way through.. he said "I smelled" And I was like.. excuse me? Now I have a phobia of a man going down on me because of that one moment and one experience of someone going down on me. I will never forget the way he looked up to me and said that. How dumb is that? I mean.. I don't think I can really "get off" on oral.. it just doesn't appeal to me. Still, I was fifteen. I was always a "clean" girl. Now I have this irrational phobia. I have never let another man go down on me, ever. Everrrrrrr. And I probably won't let another one ever in my life do that again.

I'm self-conscious of my stomach and my vagina. It is like.. my stomach is so big and I do feel pretty, don't get me wrong, it looks like i'm pregnant constantly I swear, but when I'm being fucked.. I don't like that my stomach "jiggles" as he is fucking me. It makes me focus on other things and it makes me want to not have sex anymore. I have a super large sex drive and I love sex. I have another issue but I'll get to that in a second.

I have NEVER had an orgasm from having sex. Never. Ever. With anyone. Isn't that weird? I'm 21. I would think that I would have an orgasm by now while having sex or having a guy finger me or something, right? But, no. I haven't. I need clitoral stimulation and a lot of it to reach orgasm. I've always been more a giver in the bed then a taker and that is probably why since I have never actually had an orgasm during sex. No one has just.. took the time? I guess.

Anyways, that was my rant. And my insecurities and issues. I feel better. Thanks for making this thread.

xoxo
03/10/2012
wildorchid wildorchid
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
You're right. This is indeed an awesome thread. And it proves that there is no TMI in EF forums.

I'm with you in not minding if I don't come during sex. It still feels good and a big part of the wonderfulness of it is that warmth ...
I am lucky enough to be with a guy that seems to understand what it actually takes for me to be satisfied in bed and so there is no pressure for us anymore. Love him dearly for it.

I have absolutely no idea how to recreate that first scenario AT ALL!
03/10/2012
wildorchid wildorchid
Quote:
Originally posted by LusciousLollypop
This thread is too amazing. I feel like I'm not alone

I want to discuss how much it bothers me and that it is literally a phobia of mine to have a man lick and tease my vagina with his mouth. When I was 15, some guy I was dating (whom I ...
Quite frankly Owl Identified should be given an award in my opinion. Does EF have awards?

Sweetie, you are not weird at all! In fact, your experiences on all counts is completely normal. And although I cannot push some magic button to make you magically cum during sex or feel comfortable with your body or scent ( you do not smell btw, it may just be that your natural scent did not appeal to that particular individual) all I can give you is advice. The biggest thing for you would be to relax! And unfortunately, I can't push a button for that either. I like massage personally.

And never say never One day you may meet a guy who you totally trust and love and your opinion of letting someone go down on you will change. You may also find it easier to orgasm. He'll think you're beautiful no matter what as well. That's what happened for me.

Love this thread! It's so cathartic!
03/10/2012
Khanner Khanner
Wow, I love this thread! I want to hug everyone here. I just need to vent a little bit.

I have pretty good self-esteem in general, but I have somewhat long minora. I love the way my vulva looks, my boyfriend has a fun time with them, and am quite happy with it, but I hate the stigma and myths about longer labia.

Me and my friends make dirty jokes all the time but I get set off when they start talking about "flappy stretched out loose vaginas." I'm able to hide my annoyance well but I wish I could somehow communicate that:
1. Labia size is almost entirely genetic unless you deliberately stretch them with weights.
2. Labia are external anatomy. Having longer labia does not mean you are "loose" or your vagina is "too big." The size has nothing to do with how much sex you have. (neither does vagina size, for that matter) You can clearly see my minora were bigger in my newborn baby pictures, for example.

I have no idea how to bring this up without sounding preachy or defensive, plus I kinda don't want to announce to my friends what my vulva looks like.

Other minor anxieties:
I love being on top but I have much better orgasms during missionary.
My vagina rejects anything put into it during doggy style.
I want a copper IUD but I don't have the money and my whitecoat syndrome is terrible when my pants are off.
I have fantasies about dominating my boyfriend but I'm almost certain he'd not be interested. I'm just too shy to bring it up. I'm also very monogamous and not interested in "play partners." Plus I worry about how it may effect our relationship if it ever does happen. I can live without it though, it's not a deal breaker or anything.

And for those of you who can't get off without clitoral stimulation: Don't worry! That is absolutely the norm. There are more nerves in the clitoris than the vagina OR penis. It is the only structure in the human body whose sole function is to receive pleasure.

Phew! Isn't being anonymous great?
03/10/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
DixieDoo, I am one of those girls that bigger girls will say "skinny bitch!" about in a voice that I know I'm meant to hear, and? I absolutely love bigger women. I enjoy all body types but if I can be explicit for a moment, there is ...
Wow girl you gave me chills when you said this. I happen to think you look amazing and I am very jealous that my body is no where near are pretty as yours.

I have had two children and one of the labors resulted in being cut and this has left me with a scar. There is also a part the Dr forgot to stitch and now to me it looks add and even made me go to the Dr thinking I had warts. Though everything was fine.

I am very self conscious about my lips because one is much larger than the other. Sometimes when I am walking it snags against my thigh and is uncomfortable. I have thought about getting surgery to fix this issue.

I feel ashamed to be naked most of the time too. My breast are super saggy and huge! They are stretched out a lot, but this isn't from children alone. I have always had extremely large breast from the start and it is embarrassing to me. My stomach is a road atlas and my hips are so full it makes me odd shaped.

I can orgasm and spray up over my head, but I find it somewhat embarrassing because it is just so much. I have even had partners comment on how I was like a river.
03/10/2012
Buttercup Green Buttercup Green
Ever since I hit my teen years, I have been humiliated by various family members about my weight. My father always made jokes about my "fat ass" and my "cottage cheese" thighs. My grandfather always compared me to my thin cousin and even had the nerve to call my fat in front of everyone at one of our family reunions. I grew up feeling ashamed of my body simply because I have never been called pretty. All I knew was insults.
Then, I met my husband. He showered me with compliments and pretty words, but I didn't want to let myself believe the words he was saying. I was afraid he would always, at some point, suddenly take them back and start throwing the usual cutting insults I was used too. I didn't think I was pretty, so how could he?
For the past six months, I have been going to therapy. We have talked about my family (an alcoholic father, and a drugged up mother), my unhealthy eating habits (I stopped eating full meals in the 6th grade and it progressed to barely eating more than a handful of Goldfish a day), and my self esteem/body issues. Now, I can stand in front of the mirror most mornings and say to myself, "I am beautiful and sexy". Some days, I still feel very unattractive.
I just got off the phone with my mother, and she is having problems with her ankle (which she has laid over and almost broken I do not know how many times), and she told me my dad said she wouldn't have any problems if she wasn't so fat! She said, "You know how your dad is". Unfortunately. I worry about her, but thank goodness I am out of that negative hell hole.
I hate my body the most during my period because of the bloating and the unfortunate odors that cannot be helped. I hate that my vaginal discharge get really heavy and thick towards the beginning of my period. I hate that I can only have one clitoral orgasm, which takes 30 minutes or so to build up to.
I used to wear baggy clothes in order to hide my body. Now, not only do I prefer to wear clingy lingerie, I love to show my curves (most days).
I hate that I cannot orgasm during oral. I hate that I almost never get oral. It makes me worry that my husband thinks I smell or taste horrible.
I hate the color of my nipples, and I hate how big they look. I hate how huge my hips are, but my husband constantly tells me how he loves to manhandle and tightly grab my hips during sex.
I frequently have G-spot and squirting orgasms. It isn't anything like the porn shows, but it still makes a huge mess. I used to be embarrassed about this. I thought it was pee until I learned what squirting was. After that, I love to do it and so does my husband.
03/10/2012
LusciousLollypop LusciousLollypop
Quote:
Originally posted by wildorchid
Quite frankly Owl Identified should be given an award in my opinion. Does EF have awards?

Sweetie, you are not weird at all! In fact, your experiences on all counts is completely normal. And although I cannot push some magic button to make ...
Thank you so much for making me smile. I am with a guy right now and I love him a lot. He thinks I am beautiful and maybe one day I will be more comfortable with that. I think I am pretty but not beautiful. He is so sweet. He is actually trying to break my phobias. He likes that I am curvy and he says he prefers it as well. It makes me smile but still in the back of my mind, I am chubby. You know? I've always had weight issues. I'm super short.. like 5'1 so it makes me look even bigger. And.. I know I don't smell. I just have a phobia now of a guy thinking I do smell. I like the taste/smell of myself so that is all that matters, really.

We are actually working on trying to get me to orgasm having sex alone without clitoral stimulation. I feel like I can never have one without clitoral stimulation which may be true but we are working on it. He is super patient and I love him a lot.

You are super sweet and thank you for giving me some hope. xoxo
03/10/2012
Total posts: 124
Unique posters: 59