I was raised in a very unorthodox manner. My religious background was very strong until I was about 7, the we moved to a seriously remote and isolated area. I picked the religious thread again on my own at about 14, (to get out of the house with the youth group) but did not appreciate it at the time. I lost the thread at about 17. I did not acknowledge my religious side again until I was approximately 22. I am not a "go to church, talk to others, or moral judge" type person, but feel my beliefs and prayers are personal and between me and God.
That said, for totally non-religious reasons - My parents did not drink and looked down on those who did. My father smoked a pipe until I was 8 or 9. When he quit, smokers were bad people. My father was very angry and controlling. My mother was very passive aggressive. I was raised in an environment where my parents had separate bedrooms and sex was bad. Women who had sex were harlots, wild women or whores. No woman ever liked sex, they did it only because they had to. This was from both parents. (Yes, they are seriously fucked up individuals!!!)
After my parents divorced when I was 15, I drank, smoked and did everything but intercourse. Because I could!! When I tried to commit suicide at 17, I realized I had to get out of that environment or it would kill me. Counseling was part of my court sentence, (suicide is a misdemeanor where I live). I continued the counseling by babysitting to pay for it after my sentence was up, and it helped me incredibly!
When I realized I was pregnant with my daughter, I suddenly woke up and realized that the way I was raised was fucked up beyond belief and it was up to me to break the cycle. I did that out of love for her, on my own.
My husband has very patiently encouraged me and actually showed me that sex is a gift that you share with a lover, not a shameful act. It took about 8 years for me to realize that what we do together and by ourself is normal. If you watch a porn movie, it does not mean that you want to personally do that, it is just something that turns you on to WATCH. Like a horror or drama movie, you aren't going to rob a bank because you really liked 'Casino', or go on a killing spree because you liked 'Bonnie & Clyde'.
I still feel conflicted, some of what we do together is mentioned in the Bible as a no-no, however I also feel that it is being done within the bounds of our marriage and that times have changed.
Sorry to be so long winded, I guess I had to get this out and didn't realize it. Thanks for reading.