LOL @ the last option! That was cute. I do squirt and thought I had A LOT of liquid since it soaks me, my partner (or his hand) and the bed, but I hear people saying they totally soak through 7 bed covers and stuff so maybe mine's not as much as I thought. Usually it doesn't actually make a mess. It gets on whatever is under me, but most of the time my partner's hand catches the liquid. I don't have that hard of a time with the mess since he catches most of it. Also, it will dampen the bed, but usually not soak it isn't bad enough to change sheets right away.
PS. If you're lying on your back, you can lift your butt up so this way it kind of runs toward your cheeks instead of the bed. Works for us!