Do you think 3 somes are just for non committed couples?

Just Jen Just Jen
I have a friend who says she would never have another 3 some because she is in love and going to marry the guy she is with, but I'm in love with my man, and we are engaged, but we still love to have 3 somes.
09/07/2010
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Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I'd say your the exception to the rule. Not very many monogamous can handle the psychological challenges of a 3-some. It's great that it works for you - but it wouldn't work for my wife & I.
09/07/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Heh I would be a real hypocrit if I said 3somes are for uncommitted couples give that Sigel and I have enjoyed many 3somes and we've been committed for 25 years. I think if you know your relationship can handle the 3some then by all means enjoy them but be aware that most people will tell you that you are not "truly" in love with your partner nor are you "truly" committed. It's bunk but it is the popular opinion. If it brings you pleasure and it's something you truly share then practice safer sex and have fun!
09/07/2010
Waterfall Waterfall
I dont think that three somes are just for non committed couples. I just think it depends on the preferences of each individual couple. It also depends on what people think "committed" means.
09/07/2010
Just Jen Just Jen
We know the difference between 'sex' and 'making love'. We would never 'make love' during a 3some, but there is nothing like him giving me what I want. I am the one who asked for them.
09/08/2010
Alicia Alicia
We don't do them often..ok we don't do them at all anymore. But, we used to and we were married at the time. Well actually it was a foursome, not a threesome. Actually our first one was when we had been married for two years and together for two more on top of that. The only reason it didn't work for us was because the other couple was NOT able to separate sex from feelings and they wanted to bring it to the level of being open relationships..which was not what my husband and I wanted. We only wanted to do it as a couple and not have separate encounters with the people. We learned down the road that the couple wasn't all that strong and we ended things when the husband was trying to make moves on me and trying to convince me to come see him without my husband. There was no way that was happening and we broke things off sexually but remained friends. The wife then started cheating on the husband with I think two different men, and they are now divorced. It was a huge mess, but not on our end. We were ok with it and didn't have issues. I don't think that having a threesome means you don't love the person because I am madly in love with my husband and always have been..I think it's just a way for certain people to spice things up if they can handle not getting jealous about it. I'm secure in my relationship..I know he loves me and even if we experimented I knew he would be happy with just me and was always satisfied with just me. Since that mess which was 4 years ago we have not been in any other kind of group situation and I'm not really sure we ever will be, I think we've grown out of it and it's now longer our thing.

And WOW I just wrote a novel..
09/08/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Just Jen
We know the difference between 'sex' and 'making love'. We would never 'make love' during a 3some, but there is nothing like him giving me what I want. I am the one who asked for them.
Some people (like you & your partner) can segregate sex from making love. For some of us sex and making love are not separable. I'm glad it works for you.
09/08/2010
Envy Envy
It depends on the maturity level of the people and how comfortable they are. It's not necessarily meaning they are uncommitted. My bf and I are committed but we don't feel comfy with doing any 3somes, so we don't, even though it's a possible fantasy. We just don't want the drama.

If it works for some, more power to them.
09/08/2010
Liz Liz
I think it completely depends on the couple-- whether you're committed for the long term or not, I think you have to be in a certain "place" in your relationship if you don't want the threesome to wreak havoc on said relationship. I also think it depends on your preferences, and what being in a committed, (basically) monogamous relationship means to you. For various reasons, it's not for us.
09/08/2010
Trashley Trashley
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz
I think it completely depends on the couple-- whether you're committed for the long term or not, I think you have to be in a certain "place" in your relationship if you don't want the threesome to wreak havoc on said relationship. I ... More
Well said!

And just one thing -- the third person HAS to be a stranger. LOL :]
09/17/2010
CutiePatootie CutiePatootie
Quote:
Originally posted by Just Jen
I have a friend who says she would never have another 3 some because she is in love and going to marry the guy she is with, but I'm in love with my man, and we are engaged, but we still love to have 3 somes.
I've been with my man for 6 years and we started having 3somes at the begining of our dating. I was comfortable using my "one night stand" as my "experimental" thing since I figured we'd never end up together. We've been married almost 2 years and we still enjoy them. I think it is really based on how well you can mentally/emotionally handle it. We have met a woman that we are getting together with fairly regularly lately and it doesn't by any means replace the sex we're having, it actually turns us on to having more sex between the just two of us! It's a great situation for our relationship. Don't change anything because of a piece of paper, a ring, and a party if it was working for you all along.
09/20/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
we are in love, but that doesn't stop us. We swing (soft swap, play together only) and have a blast doing it.

we have rules like any other couple in the lifestyle.

True, many cannot handle it and those should not even consider it. It can destroy a marriage in no time flat.
09/21/2010
Madeira Madeira
Quote:
Originally posted by Just Jen
I have a friend who says she would never have another 3 some because she is in love and going to marry the guy she is with, but I'm in love with my man, and we are engaged, but we still love to have 3 somes.
I'm definitely committed to my partner, I hope to marry her, but we have threeways. I mean how much more intimate can you get than sharing the experience of fucking someone... that's on beyond close and moving into soul bonded.
09/21/2010
Loveli Loveli
Quote:
Originally posted by Just Jen
I have a friend who says she would never have another 3 some because she is in love and going to marry the guy she is with, but I'm in love with my man, and we are engaged, but we still love to have 3 somes.
I definitely think it's up to the individual. However, most people enter into them thinking they're relationship can handle it, but often they can not. I have never had a threesome. I wouldn't mind a FMF, but it wouldn't be with a partner I'm emotionally attached, just for casual sex (with protection and a clean bill of health, of course).
09/24/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I'd say your the exception to the rule. Not very many monogamous can handle the psychological challenges of a 3-some. It's great that it works for you - but it wouldn't work for my wife & I.
I agree.

To me, it takes a special kind of relationship. One without possession and jealousy and a huge amount of trust. But in my opinion, there should be that even if you have trust. I'd be CONCERNED if my guy saw another guy or girl try to do something with me and instead of stopping it, he encouraged it and wanted to join.

To me, when you love someone and want to be with them. You really do only want to be with them and you don't want to share. So threesomes are something I do not understand.

But, do I think you can be in love and have three somes? Sure. But, if someone wants to be with me, commit to me FULLY physically and mentally then its me and nothing else. Threesomes break that in my opinion.

I have very close friends who are married and engage in this. It saved their marriage. I will never understand this, but it is for them and not for me and I am SO happy for them that they found somehting that was missing in their relationship.
09/24/2010
Danielle915 Danielle915
My husband and I have had threesomes and are very much in love. When we had the threesome it was "just sex" at that point. When we are together we are "making love" to eachother. There is a big difference. When we get a third person involved it is just to spice things up, not replace anyone. We are both very secure and happy with eachother and nothing will ever change that.
10/15/2010
darkkitty darkkitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Just Jen
I have a friend who says she would never have another 3 some because she is in love and going to marry the guy she is with, but I'm in love with my man, and we are engaged, but we still love to have 3 somes.
I feel anyone can have threesomes as long as there are no jealousy issues and every one gets along!
12/08/2010
kermi91 kermi91
I think it takes an extremely strong relationship to survive a threesome. I wouldn't say that level of commitment is always a factor.
12/13/2010
TheNuTz TheNuTz
Quote:
Originally posted by Just Jen
I have a friend who says she would never have another 3 some because she is in love and going to marry the guy she is with, but I'm in love with my man, and we are engaged, but we still love to have 3 somes.
I tink it is all in the trust of a pwrson. Most cases i have herdof he same question in open discussion with friends or what not. Theres most trust issues in a 3 sum then in a disliking of it. Cause lets face it We are aminals in our own right. We love sex and in the right mental state and situation we just dont care as long as we get to that perfect moment of OHHHHHHHHHH SQUIRT!
12/16/2010
pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by Just Jen
I have a friend who says she would never have another 3 some because she is in love and going to marry the guy she is with, but I'm in love with my man, and we are engaged, but we still love to have 3 somes.
i think they are for anyone with no jealousy issues, and sexual self confidence!
12/18/2010
mikebooks mikebooks
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I agree.

To me, it takes a special kind of relationship. One without possession and jealousy and a huge amount of trust. But in my opinion, there should be that even if you have trust. I'd be CONCERNED if my guy saw another guy or girl try ... More
You just exactly described my opinion Lauren. Anyway, there is a saying "a thousand people a thousand tastes", so it might work out for somebody.
01/20/2011
zeebot zeebot
No! But it can be difficult to deal with emotionally. Stuff is hard
02/04/2011
SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by Just Jen
I have a friend who says she would never have another 3 some because she is in love and going to marry the guy she is with, but I'm in love with my man, and we are engaged, but we still love to have 3 somes.
honestly it just depends on teh couple some time s athree some can break arelationb ship my self an dmy fiancee have a thrid and we love her almost a smuch as we love each other
06/16/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by TheNuTz
I tink it is all in the trust of a pwrson. Most cases i have herdof he same question in open discussion with friends or what not. Theres most trust issues in a 3 sum then in a disliking of it. Cause lets face it We are aminals in our own right. We ... More
oh god, this painfully honest (to me) masculine mentality just reminded me of all my inhibitions about trying a 3some with my boyfriend, whom i am deadly madly in love with. fucking that up is NOT in my repertoire. watching him participate in pure animalistic re-enactment of porn isn't either.
06/17/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
thanks to all who have posted. as someone curious (mostly due to some mad pressing from my boyfriend's side) about a 3some, it is really good to have some background stories and honest experiences and opinions about it.



certainly nothing to jump into.
06/17/2011
C-Rae C-Rae
I believe it can go either way. I've heard of committed couples having a 3-some just because they both wanted to spice things up and it was a shared fantasy
06/22/2011
Vinroe Vinroe
Quote:
Originally posted by Just Jen
I have a friend who says she would never have another 3 some because she is in love and going to marry the guy she is with, but I'm in love with my man, and we are engaged, but we still love to have 3 somes.
I agree with Gunsmoke. If you can do it more power to you. I've found that it's harder to pull it off now that I'm married. My wife and I had a few together and apart before we got married. It was easier dealing with second and third parties when you didn't think things could get any more serious than the act during the moment.
08/25/2011
LuciFaery LuciFaery
I don't think it's just for 'non-committed' couples. So long as you both want it and think you can both handle it, then all the more fun to ya! To me, it shows that you both trust each other a lot if you're able to have a threesome.
08/25/2011
Total posts: 28
Unique posters: 25