Bi--two virginities?

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Bi--two virginities?

einad einad
If you've had sexual experience with one gender, does it count as losing your virginity again when you have your first sexual experience with a different gender?
06/30/2012
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einad einad
if so, does it work the same way for pan? wouldn't you technically have an infinite number of virginities...? or is there just an umbrella gender variant virginity hahaha
06/30/2012
Peggi Peggi
It totally depends on the individual and their personal belief system. I believe you can have sex with a man and lose your virginity and have sex with a woman and lose your virginity in a different way, just like you can have anal sex and still be a virgin vaginally or have vaginal sex and be a virgin to anal. It is totally dependent on the person in my opinion
06/30/2012
Roz W Roz W
What is the use of "virginity" as a concept?
Is it at all useful for a person to define themselves as sexually pure?
How about looking at sexual experience as something to be gained (when you want to), rather than something to be "lost"?
06/30/2012
quantumspork quantumspork
Quote:
Originally posted by Roz W
What is the use of "virginity" as a concept?
Is it at all useful for a person to define themselves as sexually pure?
How about looking at sexual experience as something to be gained (when you want to), rather than something to be "lost"?
Exactly!
06/30/2012
Mitzuki Mitzuki
Quote:
Originally posted by Roz W
What is the use of "virginity" as a concept?
Is it at all useful for a person to define themselves as sexually pure?
How about looking at sexual experience as something to be gained (when you want to), rather than something to be "lost"?
Precisely!
06/30/2012
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Roz W
What is the use of "virginity" as a concept?
Is it at all useful for a person to define themselves as sexually pure?
How about looking at sexual experience as something to be gained (when you want to), rather than something to be "lost"?
I agree, the entire concept of virginity is rather dated and if I may be so bold no longer useful. If you feel the need to inform a new sex partner that they need to be extra careful or considerate, that makes sense but otherwise... what's the point anymore?
07/01/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I'm pan, and I've stopped really using the concept of virginity when describing my sexual life. I've had a lot of different sorts of sexual experiences with people, and it doesn't feel right to me to privilege just one of those experiences as the first "real" sex I ever had. I feel like they're all real sex. I mainly use the term virginity in a silly way to refer to nonsexual things - like losing my sushi-eating virginity, or my Rocky Horror Picture Show-watching virginity.
07/01/2012
quantumspork quantumspork
Quote:
Originally posted by thisisadeletedaccount
I'm pan, and I've stopped really using the concept of virginity when describing my sexual life. I've had a lot of different sorts of sexual experiences with people, and it doesn't feel right to me to privilege just one of those ...
Yep, all of that.
07/01/2012
Heatherbipoly Heatherbipoly
Quote:
Originally posted by Roz W
What is the use of "virginity" as a concept?
Is it at all useful for a person to define themselves as sexually pure?
How about looking at sexual experience as something to be gained (when you want to), rather than something to be "lost"?
exaxtly what i think
07/03/2012
hjtee hjtee
Quote:
Originally posted by einad
if so, does it work the same way for pan? wouldn't you technically have an infinite number of virginities...? or is there just an umbrella gender variant virginity hahaha
I'm a pansexual. I only had one 'virginity'. I can see why people who come out later in life (or I guess, once) want to have their 'such-and-such' virginity, but when it comes to my body, I only lost 'it' once. I guess it's a personal thing.
08/20/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
I absolutely believe in the idea of infinite "virginities". I think every "first" you have is new and profound and exciting or sometimes scary. Some have more impact on us than others. My first sexual experience was with a man, but once I came out a lesbian and had my first experience with a woman, that was even more meaningful to me in many ways. The fact that there had previously been a penis in my vagina in no way cheapened or diluted or devalued my first experience with a woman. I've had all kinds of firsts and each of them have been powerful. Before my first intercourse I'd had firsts of other kinds and there's no real moment when something about me changed or was "lost" so I couldn't truly pinpoint when my virginity was "lost". I much prefer the idea, as others have said, of gaining the experience as opposed to "losing" anything. The concept of the hymen is mostly myth and superstition and old wives' tales so that measure of virginity is entirely false and there is simply nothing so magical about penis-in-vagina sex that alters a person in any real way. Virginity is an antiquated, irrelevant, highly misogynistic ideal that has damaged, sometimes ruined, lives and reputations, given rise to moronic, demoralizing, offensive and embarrassing rituals and oppressed sexuality and inspired shame, especially in women, for thousands of years. Historically, the purpose of "virginity" is mainly concerned with suppressing and oppressing females and their sexuality and keeping women under the control of men. This may make me sound like a feminazi but I'm really not. I promise. I just think "virginity" deserves little to no modern attention or concern and should not be a prevalent part of our societal or sexual values.
08/21/2012
Bex1331 Bex1331
I'm not sure what I believe, virginity is an interesting topic, I don't consider myself a virgin even though I have only had sex with a man (despite my attraction to women). Everything new we try (anal sex, sex with a woman etc.) is an interesting experience but I don't know if I'd call it loosing my virginity again. Virginity is such a strange concept anyway, I think it's up to each person to define for themselves.
08/21/2012
Lucifer the Cat Lucifer the Cat
This is an interesting question. I'm not too keen on the concept of virginity in the first place. It's definitely just a matter of opinion, since there are no physical markers of losing one's virginity (read about the hymen myth here: link).

This is one of my favorite quotes from the article:

"Back to the virginity question, Roye states that she believes 'virginity is what the individual thinks it is. It certainly is for men, who bear no tell-tale signs of lost virginity.' She adds:
The concept of virginity has an emotional connotation. It is more than just the physical disruption of hymenal tissue.
If a young woman has had a sexual relationship with her partner, and she feels that she has lost her virginity, then she has, regardless of what actually happened to her hymen during the encounter. There are ancillary issues that each woman must answer for herself."

I think that stands for all people, and not just "young women".
08/22/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucifer the Cat
This is an interesting question. I'm not too keen on the concept of virginity in the first place. It's definitely just a matter of opinion, since there are no physical markers of losing one's virginity (read about the hymen myth here: ...
I <3 you for posting a link to a hymen demystification article!! I'm a crusader for this topic! I have a list of other references I pull out whenever someone tries to play the "hymen defines virginity" card. Ugh! But yeah, you rock for posting this!
09/01/2012
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 12