Finding Bisexual woman for my girlfriend

Littlethree (Eddie Anal) Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
Hello

My girlfriend has expressed interest in having a sexual experience with a woman. She has been talking off and on about it for over a year and a half, but she is not sure she really wants to have such an experience or just likes to think of it. Is there something I can do to either: (1) find someone to help her out, either to discuss things or (2) to find someone to fulfill her fantasy in real life, safely? Or am I just hearing things that aren't really there?

thanks.
07/28/2010
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El-Jaro El-Jaro
Sounds like step 1 is there.

No sense in rushing though, you might want to let it sit for a few days/weeks/months before trying to rush into anything. There are a few people on Eden who have experience with this, I'm sure they can give you some good advice too.
07/28/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
Hello

My girlfriend has expressed interest in having a sexual experience with a woman. She has been talking off and on about it for over a year and a half, but she is not sure she really wants to have such an experience or just likes to think ... More
First off you need to talk to her very pointedly about what she is looking for EXACTLY. I know it seems like an easy thing...find a woman who is interested and then go for it. The thing is that is a fantasy, this never happens in real life.

Your second question embodies the othr question of IS there a way to do this safely...and the answer is no. Can you do it without risking her sexual health, of course you can. Can you do it without risking her emotional health? That's where the no comes into play. There are so many different issues at play here.

For instance: What if she thinks it's really YOUR fantasy that she be with another woman?
What if she actually finds that she prefers sex with a woman to sex with you? (While hardly likely believe me you WILL wonder this at some point in this adventure.)
Does she want you to be involved in the experience?
What if she says she wants to be alone with the woman?
Do you believe it is fair that she gets to play while you remain true to her only...provided that is the state of your relationship. Be honest about this one cause it will be a major pitfall if you aren't.
How will you handle that? Is it a deal breaker?
What if she hates the experience and you love it? (You can't unring the bell) On the other hand what if you hate the experience and she loves it?
How will you handle it if she says you can watch but not touch? (Most men think this will be amazing but some find that it makes them jealous and angry to see their partner enjoying themselves with another person regardless of gender.)
What will you do if she says she really wants a MMF experience? (When you open the door you will be surprised at what comes through...not all of it will be pleasant.)
How will you handle how your relationship changes after this experience...please trust me it WILL change. You need to be totally aware and open eyed to this fact before you look for a third person.
Speaking of that you need to also be aware that you are talking about a third PERSON not a fantasy or a concept. This person will have their own ideas and needs/wants/desires how will you accommodate them? (The best way is to be open and honest about your needs/wants/desires and communicate them BEFORE you engauge in any sexual encounter. Then you demand and recieve the same from this person.) All of this before you even begin looking for a third.
This is a complicated and intense subject even as simple as it seems. Many relationships have been irrepairably damaged by this fantasy.

On the upside this can be the most exciting and intimate thing you can do with a partner. It can create bonds of shared experience between you and your lovely girlfriend that can blossom into a lifetime of loving intimacy and adventure. The sex can be phenomenal, reliving it can be mind blowing. Swinging can be a truly loving thing that you share with her...and others. It can lead to an amazing polyamorous affair that can bring you joys I can't even begin to outline without hundreds of pages. If she is really interested in exploring bi sexuality then having you along for the ride can mean the world to her, and to you. Imagine it, you are the one who she felt confident enough to be her authentic self with!

Again though, I cannot stress it enough...you need to answer your last question FIRST! Are you reading too much into what she's saying? Is this just a fantasy she uses to get her juices flowing? Is she more content to leave it as just a fantasy? What is her real fantasy?

Then you have the problem that so many couples have...what you are looking for is the Hot Bi Babe (AKA Unicorn). They are a lovely mythical creature that may or may not really exist! You are looking for an unattached bi female who is comfotable playing with couples but not looking for any emotional attachment to them. If you find her, sing for joy but be warned that she is a rare commodity and probably won't be around in the morning....

Seriously though I wish you both luck, this is an exciting and potentially deadly minefield you are looking over. You are in the right place for all the accoutrements for successful roleplay and I would really really suggest you make use of it fully before involving a flesh and blood playmate. We have DVDs, costumes, toys that imitate a licking tongue, nipple suckers, pocket pussies to flesh out the fantasy of a full on threesome, massage oils (you know so you can pretend to be her girlfriend treating her to an erotic massage), stories and much much more. Before you go all out do the research and learn from some of our mistakes...your Lady is too precious to you to risk heartache heedlessly, isn't she?
07/28/2010
Littlethree (Eddie Anal) Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
First off you need to talk to her very pointedly about what she is looking for EXACTLY. I know it seems like an easy thing...find a woman who is interested and then go for it. The thing is that is a fantasy, this never happens in real life. ... More
You make a lot of good points and things to think about. I have thought about the "emotional" health a lot too.
08/02/2010
Midway through Midway through
I'm going to say Airen hit the nail on the head there, but I would recommend talking to her about those sort of things first, and not going out and finding someone to discuss it with yet. Honestly, if she hasn't been begging for it, taking the step to go find someone for her and then discussing it with that person too is going to be too big of a jump.
08/02/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Middy is absolutely correct! Most people fantasize about threesomes or bisexuality. Read this thread link and you'll see that while lots of people fantasize about being with other people most women (and men actually) acknowledge that if they've made a commitment to one person they are content to fantasize. I know you want to do whatever will make her happy, and it feels good to imagine her excitement and pleasure but this is a mine field of potential heartache. Talk with her about the points I made and be very sure she is on board with the idea.

Also remember that most single Bi sexual women won't continue to play with married or committed couples. They aren't looking for a situation where they are permanently the third wheel and won't accept being second place. It is actually easier to find a couple who are also looking for a playmate and then negotiate an arrangement. If that sounds cold and unsexy then understand the set up SHOULD be. Unicorns are rare to non-existant for a reason and this is a decision that should be cerebral.

You should feel proud that you are thinking about your woman and her possible needs. Do her and yourself a favor and be very clear what her needs actually are.

Good luck to you both.
08/02/2010
Littlethree (Eddie Anal) Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
Pretty much I'm just as the information gathering stage and my gut instinct is that this is where it will stay. If anything, I am pretty keenly aware that it could be a emotional minefield to do anything but fantasize. And if you knew me, like my girlfriend knows me, you'd know it takes me months if not years to decide things. I very much take my time. So thanks all for your comments.
08/02/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
Pretty much I'm just as the information gathering stage and my gut instinct is that this is where it will stay. If anything, I am pretty keenly aware that it could be a emotional minefield to do anything but fantasize. And if you knew me, like ... More
Perfect then! She's one lucky Lady. Good luck to you both.
08/02/2010
twistedheartsx twistedheartsx
I've been talking with my boyfriend about this for a few months on and off. It's nothing seriously, but we've both talked about it. I think a lot of women might be curious about being with another women, but in the end, at least for me, it's just more of a fantasy. I say just talk it out a little more and just wait a little longer and if it is going to happen, things will fall in place.
08/03/2010
Timaree Timaree
Check out this column on thinking about threesomes with a partner: link

here's another one about the realities of a relationship with a bisexual girl: link
08/04/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
Check out this column on thinking about threesomes with a partner: link

here's another one about the realities of a relationship with a bisexual girl: link ... More
Woman I bow to you! What amazing articles.
08/04/2010
Timaree Timaree
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Woman I bow to you! What amazing articles.
thanks, Airen! much appreciated!
08/05/2010
nolongerhere nolongerhere
Great articles Timaree! I feel like we are all in situations where we want that Mcflurry, hardcore! . I've felt like experimenting with a girl at times, but I KNOW that I would get the jealousy bug if my husband was involved, and that's just not fair for me to get to play and not him. So, We've decided against anything involving a third at this point...It's all about thinking of the consequences.
09/27/2010
Riccio Riccio
Airen, you are a treasure. I have no interest in involving anyone else in my relationship, but I always read your comments. It is rare to listen to anyone, who is as honest as you are, talk about anything. Thank you.
09/27/2010
yatinp30 yatinp30
nice
05/11/2011
tiname25 tiname25
I like the post
05/11/2011
hotcoktail hotcoktail
I am looking for my girlfriend too she never did it before
05/12/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
First off you need to talk to her very pointedly about what she is looking for EXACTLY. I know it seems like an easy thing...find a woman who is interested and then go for it. The thing is that is a fantasy, this never happens in real life. ... More
This was a perfect advise! I was going to ask a lot of the questions above. Also, there is a HUGE difference in having fun with the fantasy of it and actually making it happen. It would be a scary thing. You need to be extremely careful and both of you should be 100% sure of any decisions. Also, you may want to keep in mind that it could be possible that the other partner you involve for play could very well end up getting attatched, hurt, angry, jealous, etc. It happens! I wish I could offer better advice, but I can't I've never been involved in anything like this.
05/12/2011
DeeDaw DeeDaw
my advice to you would be to have her talk to a bisexual woman who can talk about her experiences and then your girlfriend can decide wether or not that is something she would be interested in.
05/24/2011
Ms. Paprika Ms. Paprika
At this point, Aiden and Timaree have said all that needs to be said. Good luck finding that unicorn!
06/18/2011
SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
Hello

My girlfriend has expressed interest in having a sexual experience with a woman. She has been talking off and on about it for over a year and a half, but she is not sure she really wants to have such an experience or just likes to think ... More
I agree with all thats been said. So far deff give ur self some props that you thinking of her .
06/18/2011
emiliaa emiliaa
I am curious, why can't she go searching with you? If you go on dating sites, my suggestion is to make it very clear in the profile that threesomes are the goal here, and put photos up of both of you. I'm on a few dating sites and I sometimes run into threesome people when I'm not expecting them and it annoys me, those two things can alert people who are and aren't looking all the same. If I were to look for a threesome, I'd also want the account to be run by both of the people involved, that or they should at least let me know who is the one I'm typing to.

If that makes any sense. xD Though I'm not sure. It seems like Airen has covered mostly everything else.
06/20/2011
brandi2009 brandi2009
Quote:
Originally posted by Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
Hello

My girlfriend has expressed interest in having a sexual experience with a woman. She has been talking off and on about it for over a year and a half, but she is not sure she really wants to have such an experience or just likes to think ... More
You should probably also get her to tell you if she thinks she's more interested in women than men. If you go on with letting her have the experience my own personal fear would be losing my partner to the other person.
05/10/2013
Littlethree (Eddie Anal) Littlethree (Eddie Anal)
Quote:
Originally posted by brandi2009
You should probably also get her to tell you if she thinks she's more interested in women than men. If you go on with letting her have the experience my own personal fear would be losing my partner to the other person.
Thanks for all the posts. She has expressed interest in women solely. We have talked about it and will likely move forward with it.
05/11/2013
Total posts: 24
Unique posters: 17