I kissed a girl...and don't know how I feel about it

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I kissed a girl...and don't know how I feel about it

Experiment Experiment
My friends all joke that when I get drunk, I turn into a lesbian. My interest in guys wains and all I want to do is hook up with girls. Yet, when I'm sober I seek out guys. Now I'm not sure if I only seek guys because I feel like it's expected of me and so I ignore any bisexual feelings, or if I only seek out girls because I'm drunk
10/31/2012
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KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Who are you ATTRACTED to? Not who you pursue, but who you are physically attracted to.
10/31/2012
Supervixen Supervixen
Yes, who are you attracted to? I've done things while drunk that, in retrospect, was not what I wanted, including hook up with guys who I would have never hooked up with under normal circumstances. It happens. Doesn't mean I actually want them or am attracted to them--it means I was drunk and my inhibitions were lowered. I've also hooked up with someone who I had feelings for for ages but could never tell, but when I was drunk, I spilled the beans. But I knew how I felt about him while sober, too; I just threw caution to the wind because, hey! I was drunk.

It's something that you'll have to consider and explore on your own while sober. Also, don't get too hung up on labeling yourself as either gay, straight or bi. Sexuality manifests itself on a scale--we're the ones who feel a need to slap a label on it.
10/31/2012
spineyogurt spineyogurt
You should feel great!
10/31/2012
emiliaa emiliaa
Just try to analyze your physical feelings over the feelings of what society tells you to do.The sooner you break free of that, the better--whether you turn out bi, gay, straight, or something else, just learn to be you. And don't feel like you have to be bi, gay, or straight. You can just be fluid.
10/31/2012
Mwar Mwar
Whatever your preferences, you should feel comfortable with them. Everyone's sexuality is unique and wonderful and it's what makes life, well, life.

Ultimately, it's what makes you happy. That's what's important
10/31/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
For me, once i realized i was a lesbian, i was able to look back and see that it was always women i was fascinated by, it was attractive women that caught my eye in public or in movies or when considering celebrities. i could care less about all the popular male celebrities and when i'm out in public, it's always the attractive women who draw my gaze. Reflecting on my teenage years, when every female i knew was all about Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, i was enthralled by the scene where Jennifer Gray and Cynthia Roades were dancing in high heels and pantyhose together and the camera panned up their legs. In Top Gun, i didn't know a single female who wasn't obsessed with the volleyball scene but it was Kelly McGillis in that see-through white shirt leaning against the wall or in her uniform all no-nonsense and confidence walking up in front of the class of hotshot military asshats that i couldn't get out of my head. It was always the girls that caught my attention.
i don't think you need to decide what to label yourself right away. It's ok to be fluid or undefined, whether that's for now or forever. Just do what makes you happy and feels good. Indulge in some solo masturbatory fantasies and see where your mind takes you. If you have the opportunity, maybe try kissing a girl while you're sober and see how you feel about it. You can try on some labels (like, literally stand in front of a mirror when you're alone and say "I'm a lesbian", "I'm straight", "I'm bi", "I'm pansexual", etc.) and see which feels the most comfortable. But really, try not to get too hung up on the labels. Explore what draws your attention, what you like to look at, what you like touching, which fantasies do it for you. Maybe even read some lesbian or bisexual fiction or watch some movies (i don't mean porn, though there's nothing wrong with that either). When i was pretty sure i was a lesbian, a friend of mine who is a lesbian also suggested a couple of lesbian movies and said that if i identified strongly with the lesbian characters and was turned on by the sex scenes, then i at least probably wasn't straight. Also consider that sexual attraction and romantic attraction can be different. In reality, i think the majority of women have at least a degree of bisexual attraction but many are not biromantic, meaning they can be attracted to women and men but aren't romantically interested in other women, which, honestly, is the fear a lot of lesbians have about dating bisexual women. i don't think it's wrong to be that way, but it's important to explore it and understand your feelings on it because you should be honest about expectations and prospects with partners so you don't hurt anyone unnecessarily.
11/01/2012
peachmarie peachmarie
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
For me, once i realized i was a lesbian, i was able to look back and see that it was always women i was fascinated by, it was attractive women that caught my eye in public or in movies or when considering celebrities. i could care less about all the ...
Wow can i say that your post blew me away? It was well spoken and insightful. As a bi girl who has never hooked up with girls but is very attracted to them i can say that the biromantic thing was something i never though of. When I was younger i fell in love with my best female friend, she was outgoing and she pursued me and was herself a lesbian, because i was so young i think i got scared and started seeing a guy and fell in love with him. i am attracted to guys emotionally and physically and am in a long term relationship with one now but I still felt romantically inclined with my best friend who i remained friends with until we had a falling out last year. The only way i can describe her is that she's a like a bad lover i know i shouldn't keep seeing but my heart just keeps bringing me back to her. I always secretly hoped that we would hook up even if i was in a male relationship because i wanted to see what it would be like. Unfortunately when we did start to head in that direction she was more comfortable in a submissive or bottom role and i was just too nervous and embarrassed to know that she wanted me to lead.
I think that if i were single and a girl was interested in me she would have to pursue me, as i am more submissive in relationships and respond to a dominant personality. But i could see being romantic with her and being a couple if we were compatible.
11/01/2012
altheasmarnella altheasmarnella
Quote:
Originally posted by Experiment
My friends all joke that when I get drunk, I turn into a lesbian. My interest in guys wains and all I want to do is hook up with girls. Yet, when I'm sober I seek out guys. Now I'm not sure if I only seek guys because I feel like it's ...
sure, sometimes people go home with uglies cause they were drunk and thought they were hotter than they were, but coming on to the same sex is a more deliberate action of your subconscious. You're definitely curious, which can be fun, so continue to monitor what's going on with yourself and explore away!
03/05/2013
CutiePatootie CutiePatootie
Wow, there are some wonderful posts on here! I didn't start exploring my bisexual side until I was encouraged by my boyfriend who is now my husband. It's true about the biromantic (love that word) level. I love kissing and playing with another woman, but emotionally need my husband.
However, if I found myself single again, I would try dating women. But I'm most attracted to bi women or "straight" where I feel its a similair playing field. I've had uncalled for situations with some more agressive lesbians when out dancing etc. I think one can sense I like both and even though I'm dancing with my husband I've been in some unfortunate circumstances.
03/06/2013
Total posts: 10
Unique posters: 10