Are you lesbian or bisexual if...

zz1aag zz1aag
if you have been with men in the past but then decided to only be with women afterwards...does that make you lesbian or bisexual?
10/15/2012
  • Save 60% on 3 item set
  • Save 60% on 3 item set for him

    • Crystal Pussy
    • Beginner silicone p-spot massager
    • Eden vibrating ring
    Save 60% on this 3 item set

    Expires on Aug, 29 at 3pm ET Terms

  • Save 60% on 3 item set for her

    • Compact Mini G
    • Single Kegel Ball
    • Waterproof nubby rabbit
    Save 60% when buying in a set

    Expires on Aug, 29 at 3pm ET Terms

  • Save 60% on 3 item set for couples

    • Passionate wrists cuffs
    • Luxury fetish passionate eye mask
    • Eden 20 function remote bullet
    Save 60% on this 3 item set

    Expires on Aug, 29 at 8pm ET Terms

  • Try a luxury harness with a dildo and save 45% on a kit!
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Mwar Mwar
It makes you however you wish to define yourself.

I call it fluid.
10/15/2012
Glinteye Glinteye
I agree, if you want to identify as either then thats the answer.
10/18/2012
Glinteye Glinteye
Or neither. I personally dont choose to identify as anything really.
10/18/2012
Vaginas Vaginas
yes you are whoever you want
10/18/2012
hem hem
To echo everyone else: you get to decide your identity. Whichever feels right/whichever you want to be called is the one you get to call yourself. Remember though, all sexual orientations are just labels. You can identify as a lesbian, but fall in love with a certain guy. Sexuality isn't rigid!
10/18/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
I don't think that having had sex with or dated men in the past makes you ineligible to be a lesbian, by any means, but it's possible to decided to date only women for reasons of personal choice while not choosing to label yourself exclusively as a lesbian. I dated men, even loved and almost married one, before realizing I was a lesbian and coming out, after which I've only dated men. I am a lesbian. I don't think being gay "is a choice" as so many opponent of non-hetero-sexuality like to claim. We don't get to decide who we will be attracted to or who we'll love, but we do get to pick what label, if any, we want to put on our sexuality. As long as you're honest with potential partners and yourself, call it whatever makes you the most comfortable.
10/18/2012
loveme loveme
U can't just choose to be bisexual or lesbian. If ur attracted to both men and women then u are bi if u don't find yourself being attracted to men then you are lesbian.
10/29/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by loveme
U can't just choose to be bisexual or lesbian. If ur attracted to both men and women then u are bi if u don't find yourself being attracted to men then you are lesbian.
I disagree a bit. As I said above: "We don't get to decide who we will be attracted to or who we'll love, but we do get to pick what label, if any, we want to put on our sexuality. As long as you're honest with potential partners and yourself, call it whatever makes you the most comfortable."
You can't choose to be attracted to women or men or both or anything in between or outside the spectrum. That's part of who you are, it's something you discover about yourself, not something you decide. But you do get to pick what you call it. Enough people will slap labels on us throughout our lives, but we get to choose the ones that we own for ourselves. Lesbian may be the societal default for a woman attracted exclusively to other women, but is there some law that she must embrace that label or....what? This world is constantly trying to tell us what to be and how to be it. From day one, society tells us what is and is not ok for the identity we're expected to assume. Well, fuck that. I am who I am and I choose the labels I embrace for myself and I choose what those labels mean and how I fit them.
10/30/2012
Xarien Xarien
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
I disagree a bit. As I said above: "We don't get to decide who we will be attracted to or who we'll love, but we do get to pick what label, if any, we want to put on our sexuality. As long as you're honest with potential partners and ... More
I don't agree that we get to choose our label. We may have a preference as to what we're called, but for the most part society labels us. I personally don't choose to be called a "cis male" by anyone. I simply don't like the term...But due to its definition, it's hard to argue that I'm not a cis male.

By your logic, as a pansexual male if I wanted to I could call myself a transgendered lesbian. Sure, by the most strict definition I have the freedom of speech right and ability to do that...I could also call myself a giraffe/hippopotamus hybrid. That doesn't mean it's correct, though.

But to answer the OP's question, I don't believe that your past has anything to do with what you are now. Things have a tendency to change with time and sexual preference along with the labels associated with them are no different.
10/31/2012
Andrew1992 Andrew1992
Quote:
Originally posted by zz1aag
if you have been with men in the past but then decided to only be with women afterwards...does that make you lesbian or bisexual?
Yeah, you are whatever you think you are.
10/31/2012
brandi2009 brandi2009
Quote:
Originally posted by zz1aag
if you have been with men in the past but then decided to only be with women afterwards...does that make you lesbian or bisexual?
if you still like men then you're bisexual but if you only like women in every way possible you're lesbian.
05/10/2013
Billie Bones Billie Bones
Quote:
Originally posted by loveme
U can't just choose to be bisexual or lesbian. If ur attracted to both men and women then u are bi if u don't find yourself being attracted to men then you are lesbian.
Sexuality is fluid and can change over time. Also, who are you to say that people can't choose how to label their sexuality. Identity policing is obnoxious.
10/08/2013
Tara* Tara*
Quote:
Originally posted by zz1aag
if you have been with men in the past but then decided to only be with women afterwards...does that make you lesbian or bisexual?
I think that it depends on if you are not attracted to men anymore. I say this because of the social constructions that are placed upon us when we start to enter the world. Personally I don't enjoy using labels, I never want to have a romantic relationship with a man, but I do enjoy having sex with them. However, I would rather be with a woman. I feel more like a lesbian, but I go with either bisexual or pansexual depending on who I am talking to just to please those who need labels.
10/23/2013
CinnamonNights CinnamonNights
If you enjoy sex with men, and you also enjoy sex with a woman then yeah you're bi. Really unless if you found that you aren't attracted to men, then it's easier and works fine to just say you're bisexual. Both Lesbians and Bisexual people can like women, being specifically a lesbian just means that you aren't sexually attracted to men. It doesn't really matter anyway, at least not enough to stress out over what to call yourself. If you know what you're attracted to that's all that matters.
10/23/2013
Slutty Girl Problems Slutty Girl Problems
Step away from the boxes! You don't have to define yourself in such rigid terms.
10/23/2013
Lucifer the Cat Lucifer the Cat
You can literally identify however you want to regardless of who you've had sex with.
10/23/2013
AlaskanBeauty AlaskanBeauty
Does it matters that much?
Jan 28, 2:29 am
smalltalkingbit smalltalkingbit
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucifer the Cat
You can literally identify however you want to regardless of who you've had sex with.
Couldn't agree more! Sexuality is fluid, and it's a spectrum.
Jan 28, 11:53 am
Total posts: 19
Unique posters: 17