Queer marriage.. advice?

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Queer marriage.. advice?

FleurDevereux FleurDevereux
I'm a lesbian. My fiance is gay. We've been together for 4 years and are getting married in a year. We have a 2 year old daughter together. We love each other to death. We have an open relationship, and have since we have been together, basically. Neither of us believe in divorce. Do you think we will get sick of each other?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes you will get sick of each other and you won't last.
SiNn
1  (5%)
Yes you probably will, but you will work it out in the end.
goetka02 , Ghost , Jenyana
3  (14%)
No you won't get sick of each other, despite any problems you run into.
FleurDevereux , pinkcupcakes , RosesThorns
3  (14%)
Other-Explsin in comment.
Ace <3 , El-Jaro , DeliciousSurprise , Peggi , Darling Jen , PassionQT , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , ily , LuciFaery , FaerieLove , K101 , Chaotic Rantings , Gone (LD29) , mudpie
14  (67%)
Total votes: 21
Poll is closed
08/23/2011
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SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by FleurDevereux
I'm a lesbian. My fiance is gay. We've been together for 4 years and are getting married in a year. We have a 2 year old daughter together. We love each other to death. We have an open relationship, and have since we have been together, ...
oh crap o soo read that totally utterly wrong I reallyd ont think u will get sick fo eahcother if its what you both want
08/23/2011
FleurDevereux FleurDevereux
Quote:
Originally posted by SiNn
oh crap o soo read that totally utterly wrong I reallyd ont think u will get sick fo eahcother if its what you both want
lol.
08/23/2011
Ace <3 Ace <3
I think the relationship will depend on how much you can trust your fiancee and yourself. It won't be an easy relationship by far, and you will have a lot of explaining to do for your daughter as she grows up. But if you think you and he have a really good relationship, keep it going. It's just like every other relationship---communi cation, especially here, will be the most important aspect of it.
08/23/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Wow, that sounds complicated!

Good luck!
08/23/2011
Peggi Peggi
I don't think you'll get sick of each other, necessarily, and I can understand why you might want to have a child together, but if you are only attracted to women and he to men, I'm not sure I understand the reasoning behind being engaged, or getting married, as far as the logic standpoint. I was in an open relationship for many, MANY years, so I understand that having one would allow for you to have relationships based on other things such as attraction, but in my own opinion (and of course what you do is YOUR decision, and yours alone) I think you should both be searching for relationships with people you are attracted to, and although you can raise a child together, live with each other, etc., I'm not sure I understand the relationship you do have.

Good luck
08/23/2011
PassionQT PassionQT
I'm in an open relationship too, mostly straight when we started off, now he is pansexual and I don't know what I am. We've been together 15+ years and are still happy together. Sure there are ups and downs, who doesn't have them? You will be fine..just work together. Communicate openly, even if sometimes it hurts. Finding solutions together is what will get you through it.
08/24/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
I think it can work out forever and ever as long as you both want it to. Love is wonderful but isn't always easy. It takes work and effort. So as long as you're both dedicated to each other and to building a family together, it can definitely work out.

But on the same hand, even if it does end at some point in the future, would you want to sacrifice the happiness you could be enjoying now for fear of the relationship possibly ending in the future? Just love each other, do your best, and remind each other of why you fell in love in the first place.
08/24/2011
LuciFaery LuciFaery
This is a little difficult to answer...Are you two ever intimate with each other? I don't think you'll get sick of each other, necessarily, but if you're not attracted to each other, that could put a real strain on your relationship. But! Anything is possible if you want it enough. Obviously you've made it 4 years and plan to get married, so you want it. I wish you luck with your life!
08/25/2011
FleurDevereux FleurDevereux
Thank you all for your comments on this. We do communicate with each other a lot. More than we do with anyone else. We're very attracted to each other. He acts very feminine, and I am very attracted to him. In a lot of ways I am very masculine and he is attracted to me. Just because we don't have the other's preferred body that we are attracted to, our personalities hold us together. We have a very intimate relationship. I'm glad there are people out there with opinions on this that aren't just negative posts thrown at it. I'd love any more advice anyone has on this, and thanks to those of you have already contributed.
08/27/2011
Jenyana Jenyana
I voted yes, you will get sick of each other but will work it out in the end because let's face it, we all get sick of other people at one point, it comes with the package. If you never get sick of somebody at some point in your life, it's because you haven't been with them for long enough. It's all a matter of what you do when that happens. The best marriages? Those that have managed to talk things over and overcome their differences whenever that happens.

So good luck, and I hope you two have a beautiful life together!!
09/01/2011
FaerieLove FaerieLove
When you truly love someone I don't believe you get sick of them, just severely annoyed at times.We all have bad days, we all lash out, we all F#%* up and say things we shouldn't, it's all the nature of relationships. I think you two will do just fine, so enjoy each other as well as love fully! Congratulations by the way
09/01/2011
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
I don't think you'll get sick of each other, necessarily, and I can understand why you might want to have a child together, but if you are only attracted to women and he to men, I'm not sure I understand the reasoning behind being ...
OK this is where I got confused. I didn't understand why you guys would get married, like Peggi mentioned. I'm not being mean or saying you shouldn't. I simply just thought I was reading wrong or confused.

So, if I'm correct, it's kind of like a close friendship/marriage? That sounds like it may take more work than some marriages, but more power to y'all. As long as you both are totally and 100% sure of the open relationship. In most relationships someone ends up developing more feelings while the other doesn't. What do I know though. Lol. Seriously, I know very little from experience because I've never been in an open relationship. My partner and I are monogamous. We're too into each other to share. lol

Best of luck though! It sounds like a really good friendship would be an awesome environment for children!
09/02/2011
Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
I voted other, because there are so many factors that go into making a relationship work. There's no way to predict exactly what will happen as your relationship grows and matures.

That being said, you've already been together for a long time. Even though your situation is a bit complicated, you already know the work involved and are making long term plans. Things are looking good, I think.

Best of luck to you!
09/20/2011
mudpie mudpie
That definitely depends on you! Best of luck though!
11/09/2011
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 13