Are you homo/heteroflexible?

Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
I hear these terms a lot, and I hear a lot of people who are bi/pansexual that say that a lot of heterosexual/homosexua l people are actually homoflexible or heteroflexible, meaning you WOULD have a relationship with the gender you are not attracted to, but may not enjoy it. I think the terms are ridiculous. How about you guys?
02/08/2013
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Contributor: Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
I identify as heteroflexible. I'm primarily attracted to males and if I were single, I would actively seek out a relationship with a male. However, I have been sexually attracted to females. I've definitely had crushes on a few females. But if I were single, I would not actively seek out a relationship with a female as I primarily find myself attracted to males. If the right female came along, sure, I wouldn't think twice about entering into a relationship with her but it's not something I would be looking for.

I'm not bi, I don't find myself equally attracted to both male and female genders. I'm not pansexual,I don't find myself equally attracted to people of any and all genders.
02/08/2013
Contributor: CaseyDeuce CaseyDeuce
Quote:
Originally posted by Lildrummrgurl7
I identify as heteroflexible. I'm primarily attracted to males and if I were single, I would actively seek out a relationship with a male. However, I have been sexually attracted to females. I've definitely had crushes on a few females. But ... more
This!

I couldn't have put it into better words.
02/08/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
I hear these terms a lot, and I hear a lot of people who are bi/pansexual that say that a lot of heterosexual/homosexua l people are actually homoflexible or heteroflexible, meaning you WOULD have a relationship with the gender you are not attracted ... more
News to me. I have a tough time keeping up with all these "terms," I just go with I want what I want. Period. No term. I have been with the same man for almost 7 years (since I was 15, am now 22) so I basically am just a happily monogamous girl only admiring him, but I can see what that term means. I can understand preferring one type of sex, but being able to see yourself in love with the other under special circumstances. I can totally see that.
02/08/2013
Contributor: MrWood MrWood
Thank you for definiing these terms. I've heard them before but didn't really know what they meant.
02/08/2013
Contributor: butts butts
I think flexible (homo or hetero) is a nice term, I usually see it and use it refering to people who are MOSTLY straight/gay but can go against that in specific situations, just not often. I'd call myself a bit homoflexible because while I'm usually only attracted to men, there's some female-leaning folk I can find very attractive. I just don't have any interest in 99% of the women I see every day.
02/08/2013
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
I'm homoflexible in that I can and do enjoy relationships with men but I do not seek out men. They tend to find me, because I pass for straight really well. I prefer women though.
02/08/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
We're both heteroflexible under the right circumstances.
02/08/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
I hear these terms a lot, and I hear a lot of people who are bi/pansexual that say that a lot of heterosexual/homosexua l people are actually homoflexible or heteroflexible, meaning you WOULD have a relationship with the gender you are not attracted ... more
My life partner identifies as heteroflexible because he recognizes that if he were to meet the "right" guy he'd be seriously attracted to him even though he is mostly heterosexual. I kinda think the same is true for myself because I have had pretty torrid affairs with women even though I am not generally attracted to women.

I think the categories are kinda silly since it's like saying you are human.....and if the right circumstances occur you will be in love!...or at least attracted...
02/08/2013
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
I dated and slept with only men until just before I met my girlfriend. Every now and then a girl would be added to the equation when I was with another male, but I had never really thought about it.

I'd always found women physically attractive, but never sexually attractive. At least I never thought of it that way before. Then a few months before I met my girlfriend, I started feeling differently and wanted to explore and see if it made me feel any different or better in my own skin.

And then I met her and nothing else mattered. Slowly I have come to realize and feel that while I always had sex with men in the past and did enjoy it, that I feel more fulfilled with a woman. My girlfriend is the only woman I've had regular sex with, but not the only I've had sexual encounters with.

Would I ever go back to a man? Maybe? But in all honesty, I think that I'm here to stay with women. And definitely here to stay with my girlfriend.
02/08/2013
Contributor: BeepBop BeepBop
I'm homoflexible, meaning I've never dated a man and am primarily attracted to women, but am open to the possibility. I haven't exactly met everyone on the planet yet. I usually have to say I'm a lesbian, though, because too many guys WILL NOT GO AWAY if they think they might have a chance.

Anyway, I think people should feel free to define their sexuality however they wish, and not be called "ridiculous" for it.
02/09/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
I think most people are at least a little bit flexible, whether they'll admit it to others (or themselves) or not. I think it's just the way we're made.

As far as the term, I prefer the Kinsey Scale, because it's more precise. I'm a 2 on that scale, which means I'm mostly hetero, but more than just 'incidentally' into sex with men. I don't think I'd have a relationship with a man, but I know better than to rule it out completely. In all things human, it always ends up being case-by-case.
02/09/2013
Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
Quote:
Originally posted by BeepBop
I'm homoflexible, meaning I've never dated a man and am primarily attracted to women, but am open to the possibility. I haven't exactly met everyone on the planet yet. I usually have to say I'm a lesbian, though, because too many guys ... more
That wasn't necessarily me saying that people who define their sexuality in that way are ridiculous, just my bias on how heteronormative the term heteroflexible,in general, sounds. I know a lot of people who "deflect" the word bi, not because they are, but because they believe that bisexual individuals in a current, monogamous heterosexual relationship were just heteroflexible at the time. I know a lot of other people that say that about people in monogamous homosexual relationships as well, but I see it more in the reverse.

Maybe if I gave more background into why I believed that it would have not came out as insulting as it did. My apologies.

And the Kinsey Scale is so bothersome for me. It doesn't work well with my gender identity.
02/10/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
Regarding the Kinsey Scale, you're absolutely right. It's sorely lacking for gender identities other than cis men or women. For gender-normative folks, it's not perfect either, but it's a lot more precise than 'straight/gay/bi', which are painfully inadequate terms, IMO. The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, while being more precise yet for the cisgendered, has the same gender identity limitations as Kinsey.

One thing both scales get right, IMO, is that they recognize sexual orientation as a spectrum, with lots of points between "straight" or "gay" rather than just two or three limited boxes that everyone is supposed to fit into. I think 'heteroflexible 9; and 'homoflexible' are just two more imprecise terms that add little (if anything) of real value to an understanding of sexual orientation.

I'm woefully ignorant about gender identity, but I've been working to remedy that. I want to thank you for inspiring me to do some more research this week. I'm thinking now that it must be possible to develop a multi-dimensional model of human sexuality that includes not only a spectrum of sexual orientation, but also one of gender identity. If I'm not careful, I could see this turning into an obsessive quest, and possibly a life mission for me. Or are you aware of a model like that which already exists?
02/14/2013
Contributor: sillylilkitten sillylilkitten
I do consider myself heteroflexible. I'm definitely much more romantically and sexually attracted to male bodied people over female bodied people, but I can find anyone attractive regardless of sex or gender and I will play with any genders, I just prefer men over all.
02/14/2013