Breaking up: Do you get rid of shared toys?

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Breaking up: Do you get rid of shared toys?

ginainohio ginainohio
do you think it was wrong for me to throw out me and my partners toys i bought them and threw them away when she told me it was over
06/14/2012
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Mwar Mwar
Hmm... everyone's probably going to have different ideas on the matter, but here's mine...

In a breakup, it's usually fair that each partner keeps the toy(s) that they used. So person A gets the toys that were used by person A and Person B gets the toys they used. You probably don't want to keep toys from another person because I doubt the next person you're with is going to be dying to use them (unless there's one really high end, sterilizable toy you want to keep and use for yourself, why waste you money?).

How many toys and how much? It's too late now since they were thrown out, but I think it's more important to look at why the toys were thrown out. Was it done in anger? Sadness? Guilt? Regret? I don't know the logistics of the relationship ending, but if you parted on more gentle terms, would you have given them back?

I guess in this case it isn't the what as much as "why."

06/14/2012
js250 js250
The bigger question here is --do YOU think it was wrong for you to throw out yours and your partners toys??

Why or why not--honestly.

What is bothering you about the toy toss--and what motivated you to perform that action? --Emotions/hurt/anger? --Self-punishment due to the end of the relationship? --Health and safety concerns? --depression/lack of interest/ punishing your ex-parnter??

Personally, I would keep them, since I also am the only one purchasing/earning them, and either continue to use them or put them in storage until I could comfortably use them--after the healing process has kicked in. I have over $10,000 in toys and other like items from EF so honestly I could not toss them and not feel wasteful.
06/15/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Well, they are YOUR toys, so you can do with them as you wish. If it were me, I hate wasting anything, so I would keep all my toys (my husband is indifferent to them so he wouldn't want any) in the event of a breakup.
06/15/2012
js250 js250
Sorry for the double post--but if you need someone to talk or vent to--message me anytime. Sorry about your break-up, that is hard to go through. Hugs!!
06/15/2012
deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by ginainohio
do you think it was wrong for me to throw out me and my partners toys i bought them and threw them away when she told me it was over
If you bought them, then no.
06/15/2012
Beck Beck
Well, they were a gift. She should have had a right to calm her stuff. And that means things like that as well.
06/15/2012
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Well, they were a gift. She should have had a right to calm her stuff. And that means things like that as well.
I fundamentally agree with Beck. A gift is a gift no matter what happens. If she didn't want them, that's another story. Then I would get rid of them because the next girl probably isn't going to want to use them knowing where they came from, and yes, she should know exactly where they came from if they are going on her body.
06/15/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
I wouldn't and haven't.
06/15/2012
BG529 BG529
yes i would have to get rid of them
06/15/2012
ginainohio ginainohio
it was out of anger about a year ago we broke up for 6 weeks and then the other night she came home with the dude she had been sleeping with before i was so mad that she put me in that position i just tossed them
06/15/2012
britanny0620 britanny0620
When my first boyfriend and I broke up, I 'rebelled against him' by throwing away everything he'd ever bought for me.
When I stopped being angry, I regretted it.
06/15/2012
Nacht Stern Nacht Stern
You bought them its your decision what to do with them, unless you gave them to her as a gift. If she has all her stuff gone from your living space, there is no use to keep around the toys, especially if they can not be sanitized.
06/15/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
I would, yes. I haven't been in that situation yet and I hope not to be with this one!
06/17/2012
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 12