Femme/Femme couples in the community.

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Femme/Femme couples in the community.

Madeira Madeira
As half of a femme/femme couple I often feel really excluded from the lesbian community. I've heard so many people complain of "watered down lipstick lesbians" and "doing it for male attention" and we're not, we're both lesbians, so male attention really isn't something we're interested in, and I'm so tired of feeling invisible and diminished because of my A: preference for feminine women and B: feminine gender expression. Has anyone else experienced this?
09/10/2010
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blissfulqueen blissfulqueen
Quote:
Originally posted by Madeira
As half of a femme/femme couple I often feel really excluded from the lesbian community. I've heard so many people complain of "watered down lipstick lesbians" and "doing it for male attention" and we're not, we're ...
I've experienced this. All my past girlfriends have been femme to a lil tomboy-ish. I'm a member of a local lez/bi group, as well as a LGBT group, and whenever I've brought my GF to any of the social events, I always felt like we never fit in - we weren't welcomed like everyone else seemed to have been (even though I'm fairly active in the LGBT community). Its like they expect a femme woman to be with a tomboy/butch woman.

I know I'm definitely not doing it for male attention, that's to sure -- I consider myself lesbian (bisexual turned lesbian after truly finding myself after almost 11 years of marriage), and my currently GF is bisexual, but isn't interested in men (very monogamous to me) right now.
10/26/2010
mnc5051 mnc5051
Quote:
Originally posted by blissfulqueen
I've experienced this. All my past girlfriends have been femme to a lil tomboy-ish. I'm a member of a local lez/bi group, as well as a LGBT group, and whenever I've brought my GF to any of the social events, I always felt like we never ...
I have never been in a femme/femme relationship as most people see me as butch.
11/02/2010
kermi91 kermi91
I definitely can relate to this. I've dated every type of lesbian and am currently dating a femme. I not only feel like other lesbians think we are performing for the male eye, but other lesbians seem to think we are putting on a performace for them to gawk at. It's really frustrating. Seems our relationship lacks a lot of validity to others on various fronts because we aren't acting out some type of expected gender roles. But neither of us want male attention, or the attention of other lesbians who feel we need some type of masculine presence in our relationship.

On the other hand, I think the same could be said of butch/butch or stud/stud relationships. I think a lot of people view them as just friends situations. Can't help your preference or who you happen to fall for.


(and i apologize for the lengthy rant)
11/10/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Madeira
As half of a femme/femme couple I often feel really excluded from the lesbian community. I've heard so many people complain of "watered down lipstick lesbians" and "doing it for male attention" and we're not, we're ...
I have not experienced it but I have to say it intrigues me that people would have problems with females who love other females expressing their femininity. 'Course in this respect I am a stranger in a strange land here but I am sorry you are being discriminated against by those who should be supporting you.
11/10/2010
mrs poop. mrs poop.
Being a femme is about reclaiming femininity, though. It's a radical move (no disrespect to the more butch women out there), and shouldn't be met with hostility, though I know it it.
02/17/2012
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 6