femme invisibility

Im pretty center field on it all.

I think I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like parts of the queer community look down on me for being cisgendered and the hetero community expects me to fulfill a certain stereotype.

I actually kind of love it because I love to surprise gay and straight people alike. There is nothing better than seeing the look on a "butch" girls face when a "femme" girl starts hitting on them. I also love to surprise straight people and help break stereotypes about what lesbians look or act like.

Just in case anyone is still confused, femme lesbians often get mistaken for straight or bisexual, even by other queers, simply because they are feminine. It's a stark contrast with butches, who get recognized as gay everywhere we go, unless we're mistaken for guys.

I like to do my part by looking for femmes everywhere I go. There are all kinds of indicators- places she frequents, books she reads, her choice of jewelry or tattoos, or my personal favorite, the way she looks back at me

I am a very femme lesbian. My fiance has a faux hawk and wears mens clothes. I tend to surprise people when they find out that I am lesbian. I am a school teacher, and not many of the other faculty at my school even know, except for the other lesbian teacher and the two teachers we hang out with outside of work.

I know that in today's society, and especially in my line of work, it would cause me more bad than good to be "out" at work. But that is why I am seen as a professional. I leave my work at work, and my home life at home.
It is very hard, and sometimes quite sad, but I am generally happy.

Except when a coworker tries to fix me up with her eligible male friend.....

I struggle with this sometimes. I'm a cis woman who looks and dresses feminine. I usually surprise people when they find out I'm gay. I sometimes wonder if I don't get the attention of other lesbians because they don't recognize me as such. I also get frustrated sometimes because I occasionally use the term "dyke" to refer to myself and have been told numerous times by straight people and butch lesbians that I'm not a dyke and I think I should be the only one who gets to say what I am or am not.