femme invisibility

bubblegum bubblegum
does anyone else feel like the suffer from this sometimes? how do you deal?
01/12/2012
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larkr larkr
Quote:
Originally posted by bubblegum
does anyone else feel like the suffer from this sometimes? how do you deal?
I'm not sure what you mean. I am usually recognized and treated as a woman, however, I feel so screwed when it comes to dating because I don't ask having surprised a few heteros myself, and I assume everyone around me is straight (called straight bias that started before Jesus). All I do is mention the word vagina into casual conversation to get attention.
01/12/2012
Oomph2687 Oomph2687
Im pretty center field on it all.
01/12/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I'm not sure what you mean either.
01/12/2012
PirateofPenance PirateofPenance
Quote:
Originally posted by bubblegum
does anyone else feel like the suffer from this sometimes? how do you deal?
All the time. I try to compensate by swaggering around and wearing tasteful but gay-looking jewelry.
01/15/2012
kawigrl kawigrl
Quote:
Originally posted by larkr
I'm not sure what you mean. I am usually recognized and treated as a woman, however, I feel so screwed when it comes to dating because I don't ask having surprised a few heteros myself, and I assume everyone around me is straight (called ... More
lol
01/15/2012
Katelyn Katelyn
Quote:
Originally posted by PirateofPenance
All the time. I try to compensate by swaggering around and wearing tasteful but gay-looking jewelry.
Haha wonderful. I am super involved at my college so it is pretty apparent I am gay. When I go out looking super femme I think most people assume I am straight which is a downer!
01/15/2012
djdoomgirl djdoomgirl
I think I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like parts of the queer community look down on me for being cisgendered and the hetero community expects me to fulfill a certain stereotype.
01/18/2012
In the Sheets In the Sheets
I actually kind of love it because I love to surprise gay and straight people alike. There is nothing better than seeing the look on a "butch" girls face when a "femme" girl starts hitting on them. I also love to surprise straight people and help break stereotypes about what lesbians look or act like.
01/21/2012
Rawhide Rawhide
Just in case anyone is still confused, femme lesbians often get mistaken for straight or bisexual, even by other queers, simply because they are feminine. It's a stark contrast with butches, who get recognized as gay everywhere we go, unless we're mistaken for guys.

I like to do my part by looking for femmes everywhere I go. There are all kinds of indicators- places she frequents, books she reads, her choice of jewelry or tattoos, or my personal favorite, the way she looks back at me
01/22/2012
jessi2 jessi2
I am a very femme lesbian. My fiance has a faux hawk and wears mens clothes. I tend to surprise people when they find out that I am lesbian. I am a school teacher, and not many of the other faculty at my school even know, except for the other lesbian teacher and the two teachers we hang out with outside of work.

I know that in today's society, and especially in my line of work, it would cause me more bad than good to be "out" at work. But that is why I am seen as a professional. I leave my work at work, and my home life at home.
It is very hard, and sometimes quite sad, but I am generally happy.

Except when a coworker tries to fix me up with her eligible male friend.....
01/30/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
I struggle with this sometimes. I'm a cis woman who looks and dresses feminine. I usually surprise people when they find out I'm gay. I sometimes wonder if I don't get the attention of other lesbians because they don't recognize me as such. I also get frustrated sometimes because I occasionally use the term "dyke" to refer to myself and have been told numerous times by straight people and butch lesbians that I'm not a dyke and I think I should be the only one who gets to say what I am or am not.
02/13/2012
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 12