Fisting and Strap-on sex

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Fisting and Strap-on sex

charletnarouh charletnarouh
In lesbian sex, are vaginal fisting and strap-on play considered BDSM or part of lesbian "vanilla"? Why? Discuss.
04/09/2013
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Ciao. Ciao.
I'm not an expert on the standards of the lesbian community at large, but my experience from the general queer community would be that while strapons are pretty "vanilla" fisting is still a slightly more fringe activity. I don't know if everyone would consider it BDSM, but it's definitely kinkier than vanilla.
04/09/2013
Glinteye Glinteye
As a kinky queer person I don't think I'm the best judge, though I do enjoy those activities!
Mar 29, 5:21 pm
lifeinyou lifeinyou
Quote:
Originally posted by Glinteye
As a kinky queer person I don't think I'm the best judge, though I do enjoy those activities!
May 1, 9:20 pm
QueerFemmeinist QueerFemmeinist
I agree that strapons are pretty "vanilla" but fisting is considered more kinky.
Oct 7, 12:50 pm
Vagiscrumptious Vagiscrumptious
I think its harder to define vanilla or kink within the LGBT community in general since while there's been major strides in LGBT acceptance arguably to a majority if the world, anything we do is outside of the hetero norm so... With that said, neither of these activities are in and of themselves BDSM regardless of who practices them (lesbians, straight couples, male on male fisting...) because BDSM is often a lifestyle or when done on,y inside of the bedroom it might be better described less by specific acts and more by the style of them, if that makes sense. Even plain "vanilla" oral could be BDSM if say one partner is taking a dominant role and instructing the other or using the oral sex as a reward in some come of rewards and punishment system. I hope that makes at least some sense.

I would also say amongst lesbians I personally know, strap ons are probably less commonly used by lesbians than people think. There's that hetero normative type thought that it isn't sex unless there is penetration so people seem to instant connect lesbians and strap ons. Some women hate penetration and would never do any form of it. Perhaps that hetero normative view is also somewhat why you asked this question. Some straight folks would not consider hands or toys to even be "real" sex.

Anyway with all that said, I completely agree with the above that strap one are considerably more common than fisting. Fisting is definitely more "kink" though if anything if its something that is generally done slowly (often literally trained for sometimes over months before a woman can take a whole fist), is very intense, and takes a great deal of trust in your partner. And I suppose there's definitely a possible power play dynamic with either fisting or strap on sex but arguably in most instances of sex one person is more in control than the other (at least some of the time, though they may switch) so power play or having one partner be more dominant isn't necessarily BDSM.

Maybe this is just how my mind works, I would argue any "vanilla" act could be turned kinky or into BDSM or vice versa and I'm not particularly find of the word or idea of vanilla because I think sex is more nuanced than that and there's so many different angles (no pun intended) that things can be taken from...
Oct 9, 4:59 pm
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 6