Lesbian, Gay, Bi friends? Does it bother you?

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Lesbian, Gay, Bi friends? Does it bother you?

ToyGurl ToyGurl
I have a lot of lesbian friends, and one gay male friend. It seems to really bother people around me that I hang out with them sometimes. Especially when they bring along their significant others.

I had the girls over a few weeks ago for a little toy party (we do it once a month or so. I had never hosted one myself) and two of my lesbian friends brought their girlfriends... it REALLY freaked all the other girls out and instead of an all nighter, many of the straight girls went home. I think overall we ended up with 7 girls staying the night and it was a little upsetting to me.

Does anyone else have this problem, and how do you handle it?

I personally just tell people to stick it in their juice box and suck it, but I'm curious to know if this happens to a lot of people.
05/03/2011
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k3 k3
Of course it doesn't bother me!!! I am bisexual myself. And when I first "came out" to my best friend at the time...it was months before she would give me a real hug, and she stopped inviting me for sleepovers anymore except on her birthday; so I know from experience what it feels like to have someone you consider a close friend feeling uncomfortable about your sexuality...it's not a nice feeling. I say that love is love, no matter who you are and who you love. It's a blessing to find that right person for you to love and be loved by...any friend should just be happy for that, not bothered that both are the same gender.
05/06/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by k3
Of course it doesn't bother me!!! I am bisexual myself. And when I first "came out" to my best friend at the time...it was months before she would give me a real hug, and she stopped inviting me for sleepovers anymore except on her ...
Amen!
05/06/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Other people's sexual identity doesn't bother me at all. HOWEVER. I've recently "come out" to a someone that I considered to be a friend and haven't heard from her since. Needless to say, I don't think I can consider her such anymore. If at some point she want to come to me and express her viewpoints and talk to me about it (without the attempt of conversion) then I'll be happy to hear her out. As it stands, I don't see her doing that.

I figure, if people who consider themselves my friend cannot accept me as-is, they have no place in my life.

And people who cannot accept you just for having friends that aren't straight... well, THAT is despicable, and likely, you don't need them in your life either. What are they going to do? TURN you? Turn THEM? Ignorance and hatred is bred into them... and fear. None of those things has a place in anyone's life. *eye.ROLL*
05/09/2011
K101 K101
OMG! Are you serious? They were so freaked out that they left?! Wow! That is really sad and disturbing. What's the big deal? Are people afraid it's "contagious?" People act like gays are automatically going to try and have sex with them for some reason. They're real people not animals! They aren't sex addicts that are turned on by anyone of the same sex. That's actually pathetic that people would be that upset about it. I'm not gay, but I couldn't imagine people having that strong of a reaction!
05/15/2011
Brosia Brosia
I always find it amusing when people freak out about the girlfriend being there. Call me crazy, but doesn't a happily committed lesbian have less of a chance of hitting on you than a single one?
05/16/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
GLBT friends don't bother me at all, nor does it bother my friends, if they want to remain my friends. I tend to rid myself of intolerant people asap. If they can't tolerate someone just because of WHOM that person happens to love, they will eventually find something "wrong" with you, too. Life is too short to spend time with people who hate.

One of my closest friends brothers is gay. (I have no idea where the apostrophes need to be in that sentence.) He's a great guy and he hangs around with us whenever he's in town. She had a party last summer and some people from her church were there and there were looks and disdainful sniffs and all kinds of shit. I got upset, but the young man and I are close and we just sat in a corner and found things to laugh about for hours.

After the party she "thanked" me for "taking care" of her brother during the party. Hell, he was the most fun person there (excluding My Man, who sat with us for about an hour for fun as well.) I did ask her why she would continue relationships with people who obviously have "issues" with GLBT people and she really didn't have an answer except, "They're from my church and my husband is friends with some of them." WTF? Her husband adores her brother, but I think he's a little blind to the gay haters.

The next party she had, a few of these people were there (her brother was not) and I caught one of them making a very rude racial slur, called her on it, and she threw a hissy fit right in front of every body, pointed her little racist finger in my face and stormed out like a spoiled three year old. This is a 40 year old woman. Again, WTF? I cannot stand intolerance to "different" people. The next day I asked this woman again, why she accepts people like this in her life and what she hopes to gain from the relationship. She gave me some garbage about how her church "assigns" some shit called "Small Groups." I guess they TELL you who to be friends with. Honestly, I don't see why she tolerates this shit. The people in her "Small Group" seem to be overrun with narrow minded racists, reactionaries and GLBT haters. For some reason she thinks she can compartmentalize things so that she will only say "I try to get the best from every one. Because there is good in everyone." Gimme a fuckin' break.

Sorry, there is no "best" in racists and gay haters.

I tend to weed gay haters and racists (and they often tend to be the same people) from my real life friend list.
05/16/2011
Brosia Brosia
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
GLBT friends don't bother me at all, nor does it bother my friends, if they want to remain my friends. I tend to rid myself of intolerant people asap. If they can't tolerate someone just because of WHOM that person happens to love, they will ...
That "Small Group" concept is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard.
05/20/2011
ToyGurl ToyGurl
Thanks for the answers! I just feel so hurt when people get stuck up like that. I'm having a toy party tonight and everyone who came last time was reinvited and RSVP'd for an all nighter. I really hope they end up staying because it was so much more fun the way things used to be. I love all my friends, straight, lesbian, gay, bi, whatever. That doesn't change who they are.
05/21/2011
C-Rae C-Rae
Haha no of course not.. My entire group of friends are either gay lesbian or bi.. Some trans.. And we all love each other.. It just gives me more insight on each community's different issues they face because we do suffer from different stuff but at the same time we relate on ONE common bashing. I'm lesbian my self.. I do have straight friends as well.. I love all ppl. Mainly girls.. LOL
06/10/2011
Triple X Moma Triple X Moma
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I have a lot of lesbian friends, and one gay male friend. It seems to really bother people around me that I hang out with them sometimes. Especially when they bring along their significant others.



I had the girls over a few weeks ago ...
I have no problems with straight or bi or gay friends.
08/09/2011
thatonegirl thatonegirl
I happen to be the one bring along a same sex partner. Although we have yet to attend a toy party we still experience this situation. It can be as simple as going to dinner and some one new finding out im lesbian. They act like im going to come over the table and start filling them up. i believe this only happens allot in anime. That our i encounter girls that feel since im lez. i can tell them if there personal areas are amazing looking. So i end up seeing people naked that i didn't want to see naked. I have even have people get up and leave a friends house after finding out i was lez. She felt that being near my sin was making her a sinner.
08/09/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
I know it's a little late, but I'm sorry you had to deal with that anyway, and I'm sorry your friends that stuck around did too.

As for me, I don't really have any lesbian friends, but that's because I just haven't really met any that a friendship has formed from. If one day I do have friends that are lesbians, all I ask is that they don't meaningfully hit on me; the same thing I ask of straight male friends. I have a few male friends that are gay and I absolutely love hanging out with them. Significant others are always welcome in our group, even if they're the same sex as the person bringing them. After all, they're all still people and deserve to be treated as such.

I hope that your next party went better than the first
08/09/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Brosia
That "Small Group" concept is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard.
But, the Small Group concept is very common in both Evangelical and Mega Churches in our area. They want to probably "Keep an eye" on the people who come every week and fill their coffers, so they get people who will tattle on them and "assign" them to be friends. It's also designed to take up people's time, so they have less time for people who are not "in the Faith." It's ridiculous and I don't know why some of the people I know can't see right through what the churches are doing.
08/09/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Thanks for the answers! I just feel so hurt when people get stuck up like that. I'm having a toy party tonight and everyone who came last time was reinvited and RSVP'd for an all nighter. I really hope they end up staying because it was so ...
It has nothing to do with being "stuck up" and everything to do with being reactionary and intolerant. Really, the latter issues are much larger issues.

Make a kind but firm "Love me, love my friends" declaration to your friends.

I had to do this in my La Leche League group several times when we had lesbian moms join. A few women left the group (the intolerant ones) but we were better off without them.
08/09/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I have a lot of lesbian friends, and one gay male friend. It seems to really bother people around me that I hang out with them sometimes. Especially when they bring along their significant others.



I had the girls over a few weeks ago ...
How rude!! Still I know it happens, I hope you all had an amazing time in spite of the straight party poopers.
08/09/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
GLBT friends don't bother me at all, nor does it bother my friends, if they want to remain my friends. I tend to rid myself of intolerant people asap. If they can't tolerate someone just because of WHOM that person happens to love, they will ...
Could be her church is either knowingly assigning her to groups of haters to convert her....or conversely to convert them! Perhaps her minister/preacher is trying to broaden the minds of these social misfits....one can hope for the best, right?
08/09/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I know it's a little late, but I'm sorry you had to deal with that anyway, and I'm sorry your friends that stuck around did too.

As for me, I don't really have any lesbian friends, but that's because I just haven't ...
Wel absolutely! I treat my gay friends the exact same as my straight friends. As long as they respect the boundaries I set a little joking around is fine...hell even some heavy crass joking is fine. I don't mind my lesbian and bi-sexual girlfriends telling me they'd love to get with me...if I'm interested we might talk but if not I simply say so, just as I would with a guy. It's really not a large deal...besides I like girl watching with my GLBT friends.
08/09/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
But, the Small Group concept is very common in both Evangelical and Mega Churches in our area. They want to probably "Keep an eye" on the people who come every week and fill their coffers, so they get people who will tattle on them and ...
....Sigh I knew it was probably this type of intrusion but I really really wish it was more positive.
08/09/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I have a lot of lesbian friends, and one gay male friend. It seems to really bother people around me that I hang out with them sometimes. Especially when they bring along their significant others.



I had the girls over a few weeks ago ...
I will admit it bothers me my boyfriends main friends are 2 gay guys and a mean girl who is probly a lesbian. I mean it wouldnt bother me as much if his main friends were umm how do I say this? Diffrent character and the others are ok to hang out with just not the ones to spend alot of time with.
09/08/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I will admit it bothers me my boyfriends main friends are 2 gay guys and a mean girl who is probly a lesbian. I mean it wouldnt bother me as much if his main friends were umm how do I say this? Diffrent character and the others are ok to hang out ...
I'm trying to understand...

Are they just jerks and happen to be gay? Or do you just not like them because they're gay?

I'm so confused.
09/08/2011
Total posts: 21
Unique posters: 12