Separation - where do the kids go from here?

Contributor: ginainohio ginainohio
So i just got out of a 4 year relationship and the family from her side has totally treated me like shit. How do i draw the line between how they have treated me and how the treat my child they love her i know this but we were throw away like the Sunday trash.I am really going through somethings here i moved to live with her family and after 30 days me and my child had to leave with no where to go. I think i just need advice
06/17/2012
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Contributor: britanny0620 britanny0620
Quote:
Originally posted by ginainohio
So i just got out of a 4 year relationship and the family from her side has totally treated me like shit. How do i draw the line between how they have treated me and how the treat my child they love her i know this but we were throw away like the ... more
I'm sorry for what has happened, but at this point, no matter how nice they treated her before, if they are throwing you out and leaving your child with nowhere to go, then they don't really care about her. I realize things may be a little bit more complicated than that, but that's just the easiest way for me to see/describe it.
06/17/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
It really sounds like you are going through a lot. It warms my heart to hear your concern for your child!! Many times they get lost in the adult's emotional turmoil. Have you gotten your own place? Is there a structured visitation?

A lot of the time when a relationship falls apart, the ex's family can be very supportive. However, you need to remember, they are the relatives of your ex and the allegiance will always remain with the ex. (My daughter is going to learn this one the hard way--she is staying with her ex in laws and their charity will only last so long before she becomes a liability to their relationship with their son. It hurts me, but she will listen to no one, so I am just waiting in the wings, when she needs me I will be there to pick up the pieces.)

How does your child feel and how is she/he taking this upheaval? Is your ex supportive of the child or does she act like it does not exist? Sorry for the third degree, just need more info to see if I can offer much advice. I went through a divorce years ago with my daughter's father and am trying to help my daughter stay strong with her situation.

Feel free to message me if you need to vent!! My heart goes out to you and your child.
06/17/2012
Contributor: britanny0620 britanny0620
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
It really sounds like you are going through a lot. It warms my heart to hear your concern for your child!! Many times they get lost in the adult's emotional turmoil. Have you gotten your own place? Is there a structured visitation?

A lot ... more
Well stated and very true.

I'm sorry for the situation with your daughter and her ex/ex's family - you're right that their allegiances are with him. I hope she realizes that before things get too bad and she gets hurt over it. You're a good parent.
06/17/2012
Contributor: ginainohio ginainohio
This is the crazy thing she has been cheating on me with a man i got my old apt back by the grace of god,But i know my daughter is still young she has no idea what is going on she is only 2 but my heart tells me my ex is to busy looking for something from men that she didnt get from me and i am really upset. That it had to happen this way i lost over half of my things and i feel like i was used and set up for by stuff cause they didnt have much so i lost alot beside my things my heart is just broken that a 4 year relationship has taken this way. My ex was like i will see u in a year i was like what she is younger than me and i have to move on
06/17/2012
Contributor: ginainohio ginainohio
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
It really sounds like you are going through a lot. It warms my heart to hear your concern for your child!! Many times they get lost in the adult's emotional turmoil. Have you gotten your own place? Is there a structured visitation?

A lot ... more
thanks so much
06/17/2012