When did you realize you were queer?

marshmallow marshmallow
I was about 12.
10/14/2012
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Supervixen Supervixen
I was once involved in a class discussion where someone asked this to a lesbian and she responded with, "When I was born." I looked at her and said, "You weren't even a sexually aware being yet. How could you know that?" And people got offended. I wasn't saying that people aren't born gay and it's a choice (I DON'T believe that at all), but I got frustrated with the reaction. I didn't know I was straight before I knew what it meant to be gay or straight, or anything else. Why would I?

Sorry, kind of off topic. It just...bugs me when people are so ready to be offended at any slight disagreement about this issue, as though human sexuality is so simple.

How did you realize it? Was there a particular situation that made it more obvious to you, or was it more gradual? Was it something that seemed to happen around puberty (age 12, or so), or did you have some sort of indication of it earlier?
10/14/2012
TransGuy14 TransGuy14
My first crush was on a girl in 5th grade. So that would make me...10 or 11.
11/23/2012
zz1aag zz1aag
Quote:
Originally posted by marshmallow
I was about 12.
i was 14
11/28/2012
Robespierrethecat Robespierrethecat
I was in middle school when I started being interested in other cis women. But, it took me through high school to actually learn about queer and pansexual as identities and to actually meet some people who are trans*.
11/28/2012
bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by marshmallow
I was about 12.
Sensed it around 10, found the term "bisexual" at 11, and came out at age 12.
12/12/2012
GONE! GONE!
I really fully realized it as a teenager.
12/12/2012
FrustratedFemme FrustratedFemme
Well, I had my first real crush when I was 11, so I realized I liked girls then. I was in denial for a few years, told myself I was bisexual, and didn't realize I was a lesbian until I was fifteen.
12/12/2012
Incendiaire Incendiaire
Around 13.
12/12/2012
FrustratedFemme FrustratedFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Supervixen
I was once involved in a class discussion where someone asked this to a lesbian and she responded with, "When I was born." I looked at her and said, "You weren't even a sexually aware being yet. How could you know that?" And ... More
Just like lots of straight people, lots of gay people have crushes before puberty. I didn't really have sexual feelings until I was eleven, but I had romantic feelings for girls even earlier than that. As early as I can remember (age 5 or 6), I wanted to hug and kiss my female friends. I was protective over them, and got jealous when they had crushes on boys. In third grade, there was one particular girl who I fell head over heels with. I didn't even know her name, but I'd always look for her at recess, and write in my diary about how I wanted to "be her friend" because she was so pretty. At that point, I didn't know that a girl could have a girlfriend, but that didn't stop me from wanting one and using different terms to describe it.

When she said she knew when she was born, she probably meant that (like me) she had romantic feelings for girls for as long as she could remember. I didn't know what a lesbian was until I was a preteen, but I still had crushes on my friends. It took me a while to understand those feelings, but that doesn't mean they didn't exist or that I didn't realize I had them.

It didn't occur to me that having crushes on girls meant that I was bisexual or lesbian until I was about eleven. I wanted to make out with my best friend, and I realized that other people didn't have those kinds of feelings. So, I privately thought of myself as bisexual, stayed in the closet until high school, and later admitted to myself (and to others) that I'm a lesbian.

At first, I came out as bisexual. I was extremely in denial. I tried to date boys, but it didn't work at all. I wanted them as friends, not as boyfriends. When I had my first kiss with another girl, it felt so natural and right, nothing like the forced fumblings that I attempted with guys. Still, I couldn't admit to myself that I was gay until about a year later, after kissing a female friend at a New Year's Eve party and realizing that even though I didn't have serious feelings for her, that one kiss was better than anything I'd done with my boyfriend of six months. After that, I waited a while, but eventually I came out as a lesbian. Now, I've fallen in love and I'm happier than I've ever been.
12/12/2012
hanjonatan hanjonatan
when i was fourteen.
12/14/2012
wildshores wildshores
i didn't know gayitude was a thing until i was about 10? and i had had ~special thoughts~ before then but had no way of interpreting them. i didn't reconcile myself to not being straight til like 15-16 or so, and even then i went back and forth because i was so anxious. at 18 i was pretty much like, 'yeah totally gay' and my close friends knew and at 19 came out to parents.
12/14/2012
katat katat
around 13
02/01/2013
FlightyBroad FlightyBroad
Around eleven or twelve.
02/07/2013
I Am Sherlocked I Am Sherlocked
Around the beginning of high school. Probably around the age of 15 or 16.
02/08/2013
LittleHouse LittleHouse
Quote:
Originally posted by marshmallow
I was about 12.
About 12 / 13ish
02/25/2013
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 15