Have you come out (to family) of the gender closet? How did they take it?

jadenthenewkid jadenthenewkid
I'm just curious how families are reacting.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, went well.
16  (28%)
Yes, did not go well.
10  (17%)
No, I'm too scared.
9  (16%)
No, I haven't gotten around to it yet.
8  (14%)
Other/Mixed (please explain)
15  (26%)
Total votes: 58
Poll is closed
03/03/2012
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Ciao. Ciao.
I came out to my parents and (close) family members, as well as friends a couple years back, definitely some questions about "are you going to transition" , "what does your partner think" (she's totally supportive), etc. But the overwhelming response was positive and supportive, have yet to have someone really freak out on me. I count myself as pretty lucky.
03/03/2012
butts butts
I knew I was going to get rejected, but I had a little hope so I tried anyways. Long story short, it was traumatizing, and we have not said a word about it since. That was 5 years ago, I've long sinced moved out (thank god) and have no plans of trying to discuss it with them again until after I start T again.
03/03/2012
Lock Lock
It went well as to be expected, but I hadn't lived with my family or parents for over ten years when I decided to tell them. I had already been on hormones, name change, etc for over five years by that point.
03/04/2012
GONE! GONE!
It didn't exactly go well. They don't even believe me.
03/04/2012
Jinin Jinin
Not yet. I hope they'll be accepting, but there's that niggling little doubt that says 'no'...
03/04/2012
hatman hatman
So far, I've had supportive reactions. The first person I came out to was my brother, and thought he doesn't understand /at all/ he is totally cool with it. Parents took it extremely well, which I expected because we're a close family, though I think dad is struggling with it if the three days for which he avoided speaking to me after coming out are any indication. He also keeps referring to me by my birth name when I talk to them about calling me by my chosen name...
03/05/2012
Alx Alx
I came out somewhere around 2 years ago and my parents are still completely hating on the whole concept. they call me my given name (despite official name change) and 'she' even though I've started HRT and thus have facial hair growth and a lower voice - which is really just awkward in public. extended family don't know, just parents and elder brother. friends have been fantastic and supportive, though.
03/06/2012
Liberalqueer Liberalqueer
I'm terrified to come out to my family. My step-dad had enough issues with me coming out as queer.
03/11/2012
Sam I Am Sam I Am
I attempted to come out recently and it didn't go over well at all. They pretty much blew me off and said it was just a phase, and spent the rest of the week I was visiting mentioning how much of a girl I am and things like that
03/13/2012
SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Quote:
Originally posted by GONE!
It didn't exactly go well. They don't even believe me.
That's awful. I hope they learn to accept you for who you truly are. xx
03/13/2012
comatose-kitty comatose-kitty
not gonna do it
03/13/2012
MasonJ MasonJ
Some family members were great, others were nice to my face, but I have heard talking behind my back.
03/13/2012
Schattenstern Schattenstern
I'm probably gonna get kicked out by my parents.
03/13/2012
tA tA
I tried telling my mom I wasn't 100% happy with my gender and she told me it was just a phase. :|
03/13/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I told my parents and they took it well enough. I came out a few months after my cousin commited suicide so they were very aware of not wanting anything to happen to me. It took a lot of time to get where we are today, but it took telling them in the first place so that it could happen.
03/13/2012
lukas24 lukas24
I told my parents and they didn't believe me, especially because most of the people in my family have strange gender roles (my dad is more feminine than most, my mother is rather masculine). So they thought it's just a phase....oh so helpful
03/15/2012
xxjoel xxjoel
Hmm, I came out as genderqueer to my family but now I identify as transgender (FTM). I haven't asked them to call me by my preferred name and pronouns. I don't think they would get it. :/
03/15/2012
MistressDandelion MistressDandelion
Never going to do it. Christianity, that's why. Having bigoted parents sucks.
03/24/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I told them, they were more worried about me than anything. They didn't want me to hurt myself or anything. I wouldn't call them supportive, but they are slowly coming around.
03/24/2012
jesseftm jesseftm
My mom was freaked out at first and is just kind of confused and curious now. My dad has freaked out in a very different way, we don't talk about it much since I initially told him I was starting T but since then he always uses my full name and will throw in "daughter" or other female "words" at random. When I first told him I knew I wasn't a girl and was seeing a therapist he was 100% supportive but then when I told him I was starting testosterone a couple months after that was when he was not pleased. I'm listed as male on my Facebook and post about transitioing sometimes and am friends with family on there, so far only one weird incident where I emailed an aunt after she wouldn't stop telling me to grow out my hair/what a pretty girl I am and her response was "I want you to be happy...now grow your damn hair out gurl!" so that's weird.

I'm actually going to be writing a big letter for my family (grandparents, aunts/uncles) in the next couple of weeks and mailing it out to them. I'd prefer to do it online but my therapist brought up the good point that mail will slow down everyone's reaction and I won't get the same immediate reactions I might get through email where people haven't really digested the information yet. So...that should be terrifying hahah
03/27/2012
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by jadenthenewkid
I'm just curious how families are reacting.
pretty sure i could never tell my parents i'm bi. i try not to speak to them at all, if possible. they're extremely unsupportive, closed-minded, judgmental.

*oops*

just realized this was posted in the transgender section, therefore was only for transgendered people. my bad!
03/27/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
pretty sure i could never tell my parents i'm bi. i try not to speak to them at all, if possible. they're extremely unsupportive, closed-minded, judgmental.

*oops*

just realized this was posted in the transgender section, ... More
It doesn't have to be just for trans people. Everyone has their own story.
03/28/2012
Kaleb Kaleb
Quote:
Originally posted by jadenthenewkid
I'm just curious how families are reacting.
Told my parents last year. They were scared but took it well. They've been using nicknames and neutral pronouns for me for a while, and with certain people will even use my preferred name. Pronouns are still to come. However, they're helping me get on T in the next few months.
03/28/2012
argylesocks argylesocks
My moms really liberal with most things but sometimes she just surprises me with the stuff she isn't cool about (like piercing and tattoos) so I have no idea how she'd react. Part of me wants to just start T and show up at her house with a full beard one day and go "guess what?".
03/29/2012
MasonM MasonM
Quote:
Originally posted by jadenthenewkid
I'm just curious how families are reacting.
I'm terrified to tell my heavily homophobic family. They all think that I'm a 'good Christian woman' like I was raised to be and so I have to play that part around them because I honestly fear being disowned.
03/29/2012
Voir Voir
So no I haven't come out to my family either because they are pretty conservative minded and I've dropped vague statements in conversation concerning trangender stuff andd the response was usually pretty negative from the father and not much of anything from my mom because she never gives her opinion >.< just kinda "goes with the flow" which really irks me but hey... w/e
I would talk with her about it... but she doesn't keep things from my dad. Even when I ask her to she still tells him about EVERYTHING. And I don't want to confide something that fucking terrifies me to be found out in a person with a loose tongue.


Which makes me ask... How have you guys come out to your friends? I mean, how the hell do you START that conversation? Just "hey, i'm blahblahblahblah" ?? o_O
03/30/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I came out to my parents when I was in high school. It went pretty well - I'm still not sure how perfectly they understand what "genderqueer" means, but they're nice about it. My mom still calls me "girl" and "daughter" and uses really gendered compliments, though, and I would feel awkward asking her to stop.
05/21/2012
canislytherin canislytherin
I came out to a few family members. At first my dad seemed supportive but after a while I noticed that he wasn't. He hadn't used the correct pronouns or the name I preferred. He still continues with that but the first time he ever called me by my preferred name it made me extremely happy. My older sister, she wasn't supportive at first, in fact she made fun of me. My little brother was the most supportive and actually took things well, which wasn't surprising.
05/29/2012
sodapin sodapin
I have SOMEWHAT come out....though I was quite skittish about the issue so that could possibly be why no one's been really acknowledging it at all (still using the wrong name/pronouns). But they mostly ignore it and it's almost like nothing's changed so I can't complain too much I suppose.
06/06/2012
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Total posts: 39
Unique posters: 36