Anniversary: advice needed

Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
My boyfriend and I are going to be celebrating out two year anniversary tomorrow. He really wants us to finally have sex. I kind of want to as well, but I always freak out before we can get that far. Does anyone have any tips?

He wants me to top if anyone was wondering about those kinds of specifics.
04/03/2012
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Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Well, if I may ask - what bothers you, more specifically ? What makes you freak out ?
04/04/2012
Contributor: butts butts
If you really trust him, there's no reason to be nervous. Sex isn't as big of a deal as people make it out to be, you're not taking 10 hits of acid, it's not going to do anything scary. If you're nervous because of DYSPHORIA, which I'm guessing might be the problem since this is in the trans forum, just make sure he knows what makes you uncomfortable. My partner and I have physically heterosexual sex without me ever feeling uncomfortable because he -never- treats me like a "girl". He doesn't play with my breasts or nipples, if he talks dirty he never refers to any of my parts as pussy/boobs/tits/cunt/ whatever, he doesn't make a big deal out of my hips, he never really does anything that he wouldn't do to a physically male partner. If your downstairs bothers you, make sure he knows whats ok and not ok to do, some transfolk love their partner touching them, some only do penetration but no touching, some won't have vaginal intercourse, just let him know what you're comfortable with. By top, do you mean penetrate him with a strap on, or just be on top of him?
04/04/2012
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
I don't know, people have different personal views on sex. To some it IS a big deal - and I think that is quite perfectly okay. There is no wrong way to view sex as long as you're happy and feel you're doing the right thing for you life.

I am definitely in agreement with what I think you most likely meant - that it's not going to do something like change the whole relationship overnight or your views on world peace or how you walk.

If a couple breaks up after having sex, I think it's more likely the problems had been there for a while (or always) before - not something you probably have to worry about OP.
04/04/2012
Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
Quote:
Originally posted by butts
If you really trust him, there's no reason to be nervous. Sex isn't as big of a deal as people make it out to be, you're not taking 10 hits of acid, it's not going to do anything scary. If you're nervous because of DYSPHORIA, ... more
He is hoping for me to penetrate him.
04/04/2012
Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
Part of the problem is that I am not very sure why i am uncomfortable. Thanks for all of the support. =]
04/04/2012
Contributor: Rab Rab
definitely lay some ground rules first (i.e., I don't like to be touched there, I like this to be done to me, etc.) and don't be afraid to tell him if something makes you uncomfortable
and most importantly, let yourself relax and enjoy it!
sex is a beautiful, natural thing (no matter what we may use to supplement it) and I personally believe that as long as two people love each other and are using it to express that, there can be no wrong
04/04/2012