Coming out to family

IamKC IamKC
so i've already started transition (started hormones today) and i havent come out to my family yet. they are very right winged and very "christian" (affiliated with Westboro Baptists). I dont know how to tell them. any ideas? I really dont want them to hate me.
04/15/2013
  • Buy 1 Vibrator Get 1 FREE
  • Limited offer: Save 25% on Blush Toys
  • Better Price - Save 40%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 50%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 60%
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Ryuson Ryuson
Quote:
Originally posted by IamKC
so i've already started transition (started hormones today) and i havent come out to my family yet. they are very right winged and very "christian" (affiliated with Westboro Baptists). I dont know how to tell them. any ideas? I really ... More
Here's the thing; it's one thing to hide your sexuality, but if you're already taking steps to transform your gender... They're going to notice soon, anyways.

I think that the best thing to do would be to sit down with your most rational, close family member. Explain it to them, and then have them explain it to the rest of your close family with you. If you can get one person to hold your hand and be on your 'side,' the others will probably be more open to the idea and you'll be less worried.

While they may seem against it, it's probably just going to be more shocking than anything else. Could you imagine the son you raised, coached into a fine young man, and saw through school... Suddenly becoming your daughter? It's gonna be a big surprise, and they'll probably take a few weeks (if not months) to come to terms with it, but if they love you they'll accept you as your new gender and for who you are.

Also, never let them tell you that your feelings are wrong. Scientific basis or not, religious basis or not, personality traits present or not... You're the only one who knows how you feel, and if you feel you were born into the wrong body, they can't tell you that you DON'T feel that way or that you just don't understand how you're feeling.

Usually physicians require you to go through counseling before starting hormone therapy, too, so you can always talk about how you HAVE seen a professional whose whole job is to help you figure out if you're making the right choice.

Good luck!
04/15/2013
Ciao. Ciao.
These are tough conversations to start even if you have a family you think is going to be accepting/supporting. My advice: make sure you have a good support network of friends to back you up. Your family may not "hate" you because of this, but they may have a hard time accepting it, they may need time, and it is possible they'll not be supportive.

The key thing is you need to have others who are there to help you, support your needs, and help you to take care of yourself. If your family truly cares about you they will come around and be there for you no matter what.
04/16/2013
treehugger treehugger
I haven't come out to my family myself yet, but I would caution you that if you live with your family and/or are financially dependent on them, and you suspect they might not take it well, make sure you have other plans in place. Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst.
But not to be a downer or anything! I've just heard too many times where things go wrong.
04/16/2013
IamKC IamKC
thank you all. my brother is gonna sit down with my parents and help me talk to them
04/17/2013
Ryuson Ryuson
Quote:
Originally posted by IamKC
thank you all. my brother is gonna sit down with my parents and help me talk to them
That's great to hear! Let us know how it goes! I bet that it will end up going better than you're expecting.
04/17/2013
treehugger treehugger
Yeah, best of luck, keep us posted!
04/21/2013
GONE! GONE!
Good luck! It sounds like a tough situation but I'm glad your brother is gonna help, that's good.
04/22/2013
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 5