Discrimination in the Neighborhood

(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Let me start with the background story:
On the fourth of July, there was a block party in our neighborhood. My husband and I got to meet a lot of the neighbors, and it seemed like everyone had a good time. The next day, one of the neighbors came by to grab something she'd left behind, and she started talking about one of the couples who'd attended (we'll call them Jon and Jen).
She starts going on about how "HE used to be a SHE" and how her husband just about has a coronary whenever he sees Jon outside, cutting the grass without a shirt. She just keeps going on and on about how weird the couple is and how wrong it is that he'd be seen out in public without a shirt.
I was amazed I didn't break my jaw, clenching it so hard in order to hold my tongue. Finally, I couldn't do it anymore.
(I really should know better than to try reasoning with idiots by this point)
I asked her to imagine feeling like she'd been born into the wrong body and that every feature that came with that gender felt uncomfortable and unnatural to her. I explained that after so many years of feeling like he was trapped in this body that wasn't his, it must be liberating to be able to do these things that other males do, like mow the grass without a shirt.
Of course, all of this goes in one ear and out the other with this woman, and she just goes-on to say she wonders if Jen used to be a male, and that's why they're together.
By this point, I realized there is no enlightening this close-minded ignoramus, so I politely say "Don't want to be late for your lunch plans!" and guide her out the door.
Sadly, it appears that most of our neighbors feel about the same way, so Jon and Jen are frequently excluded from neighborhood activities despite being nicer (and more down-to-earth) than most of the residents.

So my question is this- have you experienced discrimination (toward yourself or others) in your neighborhood? How did you deal with it?
08/13/2013
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Ansley Ansley
Humans are naturally disposed to fear what they don't understand. For someone who has never been friends with a trans* person, it can bring up all manner of questions and fear (of the unknowns). How does it happen, why does it happen, is the species evolving into something more/less complex? Is it a result of chemicals and preservatives in our food, our medical care, our environment? That's a lot to swallow in one move. When your entire life is a set of black and white genders and then all of a sudden it isn't anymore, it can be quite unsettling for the more closed-minded/sheltere d people in this world.

If she were my neighbor, I would encourage them to get to know each other and coyly suggest her husband protests too much and might be attracted to men to a degree which could possible explain his epic reaction to someone else (happily) existing.
08/13/2013
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by (k)InkyIvy
Let me start with the background story:
On the fourth of July, there was a block party in our neighborhood. My husband and I got to meet a lot of the neighbors, and it seemed like everyone had a good time. The next day, one of the neighbors came ... More
Oh my YES I have experienced this sort of wide spread bias despite being born female and being with two guys who are born male. I cannot imagine the torment of knowing that your body is just plain wrong and wanting to fix it but being faced with stupidity on all sides.

We too are excluded from most gatherings because we are pagan, homeschoolers, homebodies and poly. We are assured as often as people can that our children are going to be maladjusted, promiscuous and probably gay...our children have been called disgraces because they are proud of their family and religion. The only thing that balances it out is the people saying it are sleeping around and thinking they are all sly about sneaking into the back doors of their neighbors house when hubby or wifey is out of the way.

We have some amazing friends who judge us on our behavior and not on our lifestyle and we are very close as a family. It's the only way you can handle this sort of shit...live proudly and handle the bullshit as it comes.
08/13/2013
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Humans are naturally disposed to fear what they don't understand. For someone who has never been friends with a trans* person, it can bring up all manner of questions and fear (of the unknowns). How does it happen, why does it happen, is the ... More
I'd wonder if her husband feels this person who used to be a "she" is more manly than he is....maybe Jon looks better without his shirt than her husband feels he does? Jealousy much? Maybe Jon is still highly attractive and it makes hubby feel all squigy? Maybe hubby is confused about his sexuality?
08/13/2013
Mwar Mwar
You're better than me. I probably would have called her an ass. I know it's not productive.

Some people just have nothing better to do than harp on other people. If they took all that energy to do something productive, the world would be a much different place.
08/14/2013
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
Well what I always tell my husband when he tries to reason with unreasonable people is that "You can't fix stupid, only God can." It is amazing how much people like to judge other people to feel good about themselves. Who needs those type of people as friends. If they are judging and talking about Jen & Jon to you, it is a matter of time before they are talking about you to the other neighbors.

It must be nice to have the biggest issue in your life be that your neighbor mows the lawn without his shirt. Some people have real problems in their life (disability, cancer, losing a loved one, losing a job, etc), I bet any one of them would give up their problem to live next to Jon.
08/25/2013
xcris19x xcris19x
Discrimination will always be, I try my best to remember what I was taught young; sticks and stones- same with looks or yells or anything else. No matter what, I am who I am, and that is all that matters.
09/22/2013
eroticmutt eroticmutt
It's not for other people to understand what we do- first they must accept it.

Honestly, I would've told the woman, 'Look, if all you're worried about is what people look like without their clothes on then YOU are some kind of sicko. Unless you plan on having sex with them, it's none of your business what genitals they have or used to have."

Any time someone says something trans-phobic I basically just make the bigot feel like the biggest perv there is, especially if they try and say something hateful with an audience.
11/04/2013
Tangerine Tangerine
Happens all the time. That's why I hate neighbors and people in general. They usually turn out to be real idiots. I just stick to my dog and nature and when I buy another house I refuse to live in a subdivision full of "typical" people.
I would love to live in a world where people just didn't like others for substantial reasons. Like they are cons, liars, troublemakers, pedophiles, abusers, or just plain evil. Instead of who has more money, better Things, or who plays the gossip game best.... The douchbaggery is off the chain! What ever happened to people just plain being hospitable and to eachs' own as long as nobody is being harmed.
Jan 11, 11:09 am
VAl0984 VAl0984
Quote:
Originally posted by (k)InkyIvy
Let me start with the background story:
On the fourth of July, there was a block party in our neighborhood. My husband and I got to meet a lot of the neighbors, and it seemed like everyone had a good time. The next day, one of the neighbors came ... More
I Have experienced discrimination at work with my co workers and customers. Its very hard to put all their negativity to the side but Im alive im human and I know Iam a good person nobody pays my bills put food in my mouth or clothe me so there for shouldn't tell me how to live my life. Hang in there
Mar 3, 3:59 pm
Total posts: 10
Unique posters: 9