Feelings on Passing as Cis

sextoyreviewland sextoyreviewland
I'm curious as to the consensus on passing, when a new acquaintance assumes you are cisgendered. Please feel free to expand on answers/thoughts in the comments! Thank you
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Awesome!
17
Neutral.
Guh!
2
Discomfort regarding lack of trans* visibility.
8
Depends on the context.
4
I don't pass, and I like it that way.
3
I don't pass, and I don't like that.
8
I don't pass, but I don't mind.
2
Other. (please explain in comments!)
5
Total votes: 49 (36 voters)
Poll is closed
04/15/2013
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GONE! GONE!
I wish I could pass as cis, as in pass as being cis and of the gender I identify with.
It makes me really mad when people think I'm cis as in I'm the gender I was assigned at birth. I think it's obvious from my clothing and manner that I'm not cis and they should at least ask me.
04/16/2013
Ciao. Ciao.
Sometimes I pass, sometimes I don't. I take it with the territory. It can be nice to be seen as a particular gender, but at the same time as long as people are being respectful, friendly, etc. I don't really mind all that much.
04/16/2013
XYCopperheadSly XYCopperheadSly
As someone who's genderqueer, and wears....unusual clothing, I'm thrilled that people often can't tell "what I am."

One time a girl asked me what I was.....I told her I was female. She said, "No, not like that. What ARE you?" As in, she didn't know I was human. It seriously made my day.
04/16/2013
needapacker needapacker
I don't understand this question. Passing is literally the point of transition. So you and other people see you as the gender you are. Why would you like not passing?
04/16/2013
sextoyreviewland sextoyreviewland
Quote:
Originally posted by needapacker
I don't understand this question. Passing is literally the point of transition. So you and other people see you as the gender you are. Why would you like not passing?
I was talking with a trans* guy and he said that though he liked being perceived as male he wasn't comfortable with people assuming he was cisgendered.

So I was curious what other people thought about passing with cis assumptions, and that's where the question came from.
04/16/2013
IamKC IamKC
i wish i could pass...but it's hard to bind a 44 DDD chest....
04/18/2013
eroticmutt eroticmutt
Yeah, I pass. People are always just going to my friends, "Oh, he's gay?" So yeah, they see me as a man-loving-man.
04/18/2013
Peggi Peggi
I just want to share a sorta funny story...see I'm a cis-female but I run a huge support group in my state where a lot of trans-men/women come, meet with each other, discuss problems and an online support group for people who live in other countries or can't travel out of state to come but still want the same result. I collect donations and help people out...so I always giggle a little bit when instead of thinking I'm an ally, someone will compliment me saying that if they met me and didn't know me they'd think I was a cis-female. Nope, just an ally It's always so cute, and I think it makes my trans-friends happy when they find out I'm just an ally who puts that much time and effort into helping the cause, but I think it varies for trans-individuals. While some of my friends prefer to just "pass" others are proud that they've gone through something like hormones, surgeries, etc and proudly state that they are transgender.
04/18/2013
TransMarc TransMarc
Quote:
Originally posted by XYCopperheadSly
As someone who's genderqueer, and wears....unusual clothing, I'm thrilled that people often can't tell "what I am."

One time a girl asked me what I was.....I told her I was female. She said, "No, not like that. What ... More
But maybe it ws said with the hope that you'd answer with your gender identity, saying you're genderqueer or something else.
04/20/2013
XYCopperheadSly XYCopperheadSly
Quote:
Originally posted by TransMarc
But maybe it ws said with the hope that you'd answer with your gender identity, saying you're genderqueer or something else.
She was like 7, and she was looking at me like I was a mythical creature
04/20/2013
Ilmenskie Ilmenskie
I prefer being perceived as cis when meeting new people. Being trans* isn't a big part of my life and while many of my good friends know and I go to support groups, in my day to day encounters I would rather not have someone clock me as trans or approach me because they realize i'm not cis
04/20/2013
alextge alextge
Quote:
Originally posted by sextoyreviewland
I'm curious as to the consensus on passing, when a new acquaintance assumes you are cisgendered. Please feel free to expand on answers/thoughts in the comments! Thank you
I like it, but it can also remind me of the fact that I'm trying to pass, reminding me of dysphoria and whatnot. Bittersweet reaction more often than not
05/11/2013
treehugger treehugger
I wouldn't enjoy passing as a cis guy because I'm nonbinary, and I'm already used to people assuming I'm a cis woman. Both make me uncomfortable, though.
05/25/2013
lexxxmoonchild lexxxmoonchild
I'm a trans guy but I guess my presentation is very fluid in the sense that I sometimes dress masculinely, but overall am pretty feminine in look, dress, and mannerisms. When I'm not trying to pass I'm okay with being misgendered (not "okay", but at least it's understandable), but when I am it's very disheartening because I still get read as a woman most of the time.
05/28/2013
JinxPinx JinxPinx
I WISH I could. I think it could help me feel more sure about my gender and stuff. Also would be really helpful for cosplay XD
06/08/2013
Ly-Ra Ly-Ra
Quote:
Originally posted by lexxxmoonchild
I'm a trans guy but I guess my presentation is very fluid in the sense that I sometimes dress masculinely, but overall am pretty feminine in look, dress, and mannerisms. When I'm not trying to pass I'm okay with being misgendered (not ... More
Oh man, same here. I often don't really dress too masculine because my body type and my wardrobe don't really allow for it (I haven't been able to afford many new clothes in a long time), so most of the time I can understand it and I'm not too terribly upset. It's a lot worse when I get referred to as Miss or Young Lady, though.
07/28/2013
victorsummers victorsummers
I like to pass as a cis guy, I feel that T is working.
08/10/2013
Boyqueen Boyqueen
I feel I pass as a cis guy and it makes me entirely happy.
08/18/2013
queerflower queerflower
I'm genderqueer and being that I'm from the bible belt, people rarely acknowledge any gender outside of the man/woman binary. I think on my best days I might just look like a masculine woman, but most days? Nope, I don't pass at all.
08/20/2013
lana'sart lana'sart
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
Sometimes I pass, sometimes I don't. I take it with the territory. It can be nice to be seen as a particular gender, but at the same time as long as people are being respectful, friendly, etc. I don't really mind all that much.
same here
08/20/2013
AnotherBrother AnotherBrother
Most people I meet think I like men and they are right regardless of if they notice I'm a male or not. Anyone who misgenders me at first glance tends to change their mind as soon as they're around me for any time, even if just a few minutes. I just melt right into "Guy!" because I have always been one.

The fun happens when they notice it's "gay guy". Oh, the looks on their faces make me smile! I like to make it into a little joke, even if I never apologize or try to hide the fact that I'm a gay guy. As the old saying goes, "If you don't laugh, you'll be crying".
08/31/2013
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
I'll be honest with all of you. I had to goggle CIS to find out what this is about. And I'm still a little confused as to the what the letters stand for.

Sorry,
09/04/2013
needapacker needapacker
Quote:
Originally posted by Oriental husband and wife
I'll be honest with all of you. I had to goggle CIS to find out what this is about. And I'm still a little confused as to the what the letters stand for.

Sorry,
the letters dont stand for anything, it's short for cisgender
09/06/2013
HannahPanda HannahPanda
If I were trans, I think I'd feel complex about it. I believe I'd love passing, but sometimes, I might want to be viewed as trans and proud of it. I think more often than not, I'd love passing.
10/02/2013
Billie Bones Billie Bones
I'm genderqueer and am almost always read as being a butch woman. I feel a lot closer to femme boy so that's frustrating to me. If I try to present more femme I think I'll just be read more as a straight woman and that would be even worse!

But I don't think its a bad thing for other people to want to pass. Or not pass. Its a really personal decision.
10/08/2013
alextge alextge
Quote:
Originally posted by sextoyreviewland
I'm curious as to the consensus on passing, when a new acquaintance assumes you are cisgendered. Please feel free to expand on answers/thoughts in the comments! Thank you
It's hard to pass in public with people you know you
10/19/2013
thebest thebest
i pass as cis, and i like it that way. i'm not completely stealth but i only "come out" as trans to those who need to know (doctors, relationship partners, etc)
10/26/2013
Total posts: 28
Unique posters: 24