Genderqueer (the other queer meat)

biancajames biancajames
Hi folks,

any other genderqueer or genderfluid people in here? I am FAAB, but identify as an androgyne or girlfag (hard to explain, but sort of like a transfag who doesn't wish to transition. Also, I apologize if the word fag is upsetting to anyone, I use it as reclaimed word of power, and not as a careless slur.) Anyway...I really enjoy feeling as though I am both genders or can slide along the gender continuum, but it can be a very lonely and isolated feeling. I dress somewhat femme most days (I consider femme independent of "female") and wear my hair extremely short to androgynize my appearance. Unfortunately people tend to assume I am a lesbian rather than genderqueer based on my hair (I am romantically open to all genders, but primarily attracted to masculine and other androgynous people). I got extremely upset when a commenter on an article I published criticised me for something I said because they contextualized it as coming from a "straight woman" based pretty much on A. my appearance and B. the fact that I sleep with men.

So I guess I'm curious if there's other genderfluid people in here, and if you struggle with being out, and being taken seriously, especially if you don't always cross dress, take hormones, etc. I do take the pill continuously to suppress menstruation, but that's not a visibly obvious thing.

Peace+love

Bianca/James
12/24/2011
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AndroAngel AndroAngel
Hey, I'm also an androgynous genderqueer. I identify slightly more towards the masculine side of the spectrum, but not by far. I fall pretty much dead center, so I consider myself genderless. I'm female bodied, but I pass for a long haired man a lot of the time. I don't consider what I do to be cross-dressing because if I present as a man, it's because I AM a man. Sometimes I wear women's clothing while I'm identifying as male and then I consider it cross-dressing. I'm complicated like that. I do understand what you mean, though. There seems to be fewer people who accept and understand genderqueers and androgynes.

I'm lucky enough to have a partner who doesn't really care all that much about gender norms. My lover is a cis-man who identifies as male, and sometimes likes to wear women's clothing, therefore, he's a cross-dresser.
12/24/2011
G.L. Morrison G.L. Morrison
I love the title of this thread. The other queer meat. I have ID-ed as GQ in the past because the binary system is such bullshit. It's tricky because you want to be out politically but my own gender-fication walks a wobbly political line. I was stone butch for many years but with such a "traditionally" conventional female-assigned body that the "Norms" (by which I mean those rare heterosexual cis-gender individuals whose lives have presented them with few opportunities or questions) would refuse to believe I was a lesbian.

Soooo frustrating to have strangers argue with you based on your body type. I guess in the 80s if you had big breasts you weren't allowed to be gay, I dunno. But whether I was allowed to be recognized as Butch varied from lesbian community to lesbian community. Depending on whether it was seen as an attitude, internal identity, posture or whether you were challenged in women's restrooms. In order to stop having my sisters tell me my un-butch-ness, I relented to identifying as soft butch. At first, resentfully. Then finally as a fluidity that leaked into all facets of my life.

BTW I remember when girlfags first emerged on the queer scene. Very sexy.
12/26/2011
biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by G.L. Morrison
I love the title of this thread. The other queer meat. I have ID-ed as GQ in the past because the binary system is such bullshit. It's tricky because you want to be out politically but my own gender-fication walks a wobbly political line. I was ... More
Big love to both of you...I didn't realize the girlfag thing was very well known, I feel like I'm always trying to explain it to dubious people
12/26/2011
Snozzberries Snozzberries
My body is way too much of an obviously girl body to go as anything but, so unless I can lose some weight and build some muscle, I'm stuck as I am.

But I sure love reading that there's a chance to do this myself one day. I would love to see myself as both / neutral / everything.

I admire the heck out of everyone in this thread.

(please forgive me if I am ever unintentionally offensive; I still am learning terms and I am very much a noob when it comes to these things)
12/27/2011
Chirple Chirple
I suppose I am.

I feel "Neutrois" is the word that best describes me. I'd like a significant breast reduction or removal, but not really anything else right now. Hysterectomy/oophoremc tomy eventually would be nice.

I identified as FTM for a while, but I realised a lot of the current technology for surgeries wasn't for me. I don't want to risk losing my singing ability or mess with my urethra. That, and I don't really identify as male. At the time, it was all I knew and seemed like the lesser of two evils if I had to be stuck with being male or female.

I just don't really identify with gender, it's kind of a non-thing to me.

I do a lot of costuming, and focus on males, but they're never typical males in the sense of conforming to hypermasculine stereotypes. My Big Project is my Oscar Wilde costume.

When I was just an ultrasound image, they thought I was going to be a boy. I think had I been a boy, I would still be in this situation. I wouldn't want facial hair or gratuitous muscles or a chiseled jaw as much as now I don't want my breasts.

So... yeah. I don't really know.
12/27/2011
LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
I am bi sexual I am a female that likes men and women sexualy.
12/27/2011
shcoo shcoo
Wow, you sound just like me!
I started labeling myself genderqueer about a year ago, although I have always felt that way. I never ever identified with anything "feminine." I feel no connection to femininity and I have no female role models. I never got along with girls in the real world, and saw them as extremely "fake." I'm very very blunt and vulgar and aggressive, so that made it hard for me to keep them as friends anyway. People/strangers have been asking me if I am a lesbian since I was 9 years old. :/ I am attracted to males or androgynous people, though I dated a "girly girl" once. I dress in an androgynous manner most of the time.

I love fashion and often wear makeup, but I have separated visual things like that from being categorized as male or female. They're just clothes; it's just makeup; they are not things to be gendered, in my opinion. However, that usually means I get read as female.

I'd enjoy a breast reduction, but I have a fear of doctors and I don't think I would spend the money on it unless I had a physical problem. I don't really want a binder though because of back problems. I like the rest of my body, however, and I hate body hair, so I would never take testosterone.

I prefer male pronouns, although only four or five people in my life have accepted that.. My mother and my roommate do not take my requests seriously since I do not desire surgery or hormones. The rest of my extended redneck family disowned me way before I told them I was genderqueer, just because they heard rumors I was an "atheist lesbian." (of which I am neither. lol.)

I am dating a man who used to be quite gender-variant himself early in our relationship but has since stopped. He's very accepting of me though.
12/27/2011
GONE! GONE!
I'm... Somewhat on the genderqueer side of things.
12/27/2011
biancajames biancajames
So many interesting perspectives. I am very large-breasted and as a fat FAAB person they have been a weird source of both positive/negative attention to the point that they're become part of my identity, though in reality I wish they were like a strap-on cock- something I could take off and on at will. I don't think I could handle any major surgeries, and am trying my best to make do with the body I have, but I do like tweaking my appearance in accordance with my mood.
12/27/2011
Snozzberries Snozzberries
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
So many interesting perspectives. I am very large-breasted and as a fat FAAB person they have been a weird source of both positive/negative attention to the point that they're become part of my identity, though in reality I wish they were like a ... More
I would love to be able to take off my boobs like a strap-on cock.

Build-a-body based on mood! Man, that would be ... that would be amazing.
12/28/2011
Chirple Chirple
That would be awesome. As of now, the only times I would want to have breasts would be for certain costumes, so it makes sense for me, personally, to just be rid of them since they're too much of a pain the 99.9% of the time that I'm not wanting them.

I think the fact that they'd be fake would make me feel more comfortable with the costume. I love historical costuming, but I wouldn't want to do a female costume now. I think it's the idea that with fakes and such, there would be a subtle "tell" that I wasn't female and that would make me comfortable. Like my Hedwig costume, most people couldn't tell if I was "really" male or female, at least not at just a look.
12/28/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
I am currently considering the possibility that my gender may be somehow queer. I am thinking that I might be an androgyne. I am MAAB, and primarily attracted to other MAAB people. I am attracted to androgyny, in all genders, I just prefer penises, over vaginas.

Most people perceive me as a feminine, flamboyant gay man, but it occasionally bothers me when I get labeled as such. I feel like I have masculine aspects of my personality, that get ignored, because they are considered the default for men.

I paint my fingernails blue, I am growing my hair out long, and want to start straightening it, as soon as I can get my hands on a straightener. I also like wearing form fitting clothing, though I want to try wearing a skirt at some point. I don't really want to wear dresses, or female tops, because I don't have breasts, and the clothes are designed to fit people with breasts. But a long, flowy skirt sounds like fun, and there's no reason that someone male bodied couldn't wear one, other than silly gender rules. But on the other hand, sometimes I like how I look with stubble, and most of the time I have no problem with just wearing jeans a t-shirt. Also in relationships and sex, I tend to switch back and forth between the dominant/submissive and masculine/feminine roles.

So I'm definitely androgynous. What I don't know is whether or not that makes me an androgyne. I don't have any major issues with my body (though I would love to have a female level of body hair). But how I feel with straightened hair, and painted nails, feels right. It's a stronger feeling than just how I feel when I find a cute outfit. But I also feel the same way about stubble sometimes.

But on the other hand, I don't really want to change my name or pronouns. I think I might like identifying as an androgyne, and/or genderqueer, but if I'm really not I don't want to co-opt the trans experience. So yeah, I'm kinda confused right now. And don't even get me started on my bi-curiosity...
12/28/2011
eroticmutt eroticmutt
I identify as more androgynous than anything. I prefer male pronouns, but I am biologically female. I am getting surgery and taking hormones to increase my clit size, but I am keeping it localized to avoid excessive hair growth etc. So I guess that would qualify me as genderqueer also, because I wear either male or female clothes and yeah I suppose many people would probably just assume me to be lesbian, but I am actually bisexual and primarily interested in men.
12/29/2011
Sam I Am Sam I Am
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
Hi folks,

any other genderqueer or genderfluid people in here? I am FAAB, but identify as an androgyne or girlfag (hard to explain, but sort of like a transfag who doesn't wish to transition. Also, I apologize if the word fag is upsetting ... More
I identify as genderqueer/genderflui d and I'm FAAB. I used to identify a lot more as both genders but lately have been leaning more toward the masculine side of the spectrum. The biggest problem I had when I first came out was even my transsexual friends who want all the hormones and surgeries and everything didn't take me seriously because I didn't want to transition at all; am I the only one who deals with that?
03/05/2012
Lock Lock
Looks like there's quite a few fluid people here.
03/05/2012
tigertoes tigertoes
Genderfluid/genderquee r here.
I normally identify either outside the spectrum or somewhere in the middle of the binary. I definitely present more masculine, but that's just preference.
Occasionally I'll bind and I'm considering a packer, but that's as far as my journey goes for now. Definitely considering top surgery in the future.
03/05/2012
biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by Sam I Am
I identify as genderqueer/genderflui d and I'm FAAB. I used to identify a lot more as both genders but lately have been leaning more toward the masculine side of the spectrum. The biggest problem I had when I first came out was even my ... More
YES. There's a genderqueer group in my town and I often feel somewhat self conscious because I'm FAAB and use female pronouns, and I'm femme. Where it gets weird and convoluted though is that I feel like I have a very strong male energy in in FAAB body, but I'm not tormented by it. If anything, this body feels somewhat unnatural but I'm trying to get used to being more comfortable in it, rather than choosing to transition (though honestly I think I might be more comfortable in a male body). Is that insanely convoluted? Possibly. But whatevah!
03/05/2012
MasonJ MasonJ
I wanna bump this conversation. It's something I would love more talk about...I think it's very important!!
03/15/2012
pinkLFant pinkLFant
Interesting discussion
03/16/2012
pestilence pestilence
I suppose I'm a bit genderqueer. I first learned what it was to be transgender (as opposed to what I mistakenly thought it was) through the genderqueer community, and eventually rejected the genderqueer label because I felt that I was close enough to being binary that I'd prefer to be seen as straight-up male. Part of it was just being afraid of being seen as just a girl looking for attention, since genderqueer people still aren't taken as seriously as trans people in some circles. Now I feel more like my genderqueer tendencies can be included in my orientation of "queer," so even though I wouldn't use "genderqueer" as a main descriptor for myself I still (quietly, privately) embrace those traits.
03/16/2012
queergaze queergaze
I'm genderqueer, FAAB, and I find having to identify with a gender beyond physical presentation to be really alienating. While I understand how being socialized female has affected my personality, I really feel frustrated with having my personality defined in any way with gendered characteristics. I'm me, and I behave like me, not a gender. I guess that's a frustration with binary gender and the gendering of personality and behavior. I also feel that this way of self-definition somehow invalidates the experiences of other trans* people for whom gender isn't some nebulous and mostly meaningless concept to personal identity, it's a life-defining issue. I guess that's just my privilege speaking - while I do experience dysphoria it's not something that dominates my life.

Ideally I'd love to be able to "shapeshift" - to change my appearance at will. I'd love to be able to change my gendered body parts to suit my mood the way I can change clothes, which often feels like not enough, and since my presentation is fluid I could never be satisfied with any linear physical transition.

Do any other genderqueer folks here have a deep and abiding love of Aslan leatherworks? I would just love to own a set of strap-on and chest harnesses. I find I have a desire to wear them in non-sexual situations as well.
04/07/2012
kenny.the.dinosaur kenny.the.dinosaur
Masculine genderqueer
04/16/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
Quote:
Originally posted by G.L. Morrison
I love the title of this thread. The other queer meat. I have ID-ed as GQ in the past because the binary system is such bullshit. It's tricky because you want to be out politically but my own gender-fication walks a wobbly political line. I was ... More
I agree, love the title! I identify as a pansexual poly genderqueer butch boi, if that isn't too much of a label overload. I love the variety of words people use to describe themselves - girlfag isn't one I'm super-familiar with, but I love learning more.
05/18/2012
Youssii Youssii
I guess I'm transitioning to male in social terms, but in the queer bubble I inhabit I'm non-biniary, genderqueer and neutral pronouned....
05/18/2012
VelvetDragon VelvetDragon
I'm female genderfluid/genderquee r. I absolutely do not identify as "woman" ever in any way. It really makes me super uncomfortable if someone refers to me that way. I do identify as "female" however, and have no problem with that. At this point, I will keep my body the way it is.

I am currently presenting as feminine female. In the past I presented as male (and passed). For a while I was androgynous. I may again present either of those ways in the future, but for a few years I have presented as quite feminine.

In bed, I may act as either, or other.
05/18/2012
finnimbrun finnimbrun
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
Hi folks,

any other genderqueer or genderfluid people in here? I am FAAB, but identify as an androgyne or girlfag (hard to explain, but sort of like a transfag who doesn't wish to transition. Also, I apologize if the word fag is upsetting ... More
Genderfluid-ish. I identify broadly as non-binary, but the term genderfluid is what fits me best, I think, because my gender shifts a bunch. I'm also DFAB and pretty femme as well, so yeah, I would say that I do have a bit of a struggle being out and taken seriously too.
05/22/2012
meezerosity meezerosity
Genderqueer checking in. I'm female bodied but occasionally I feel more masculine and adjust my appearance as such.
05/23/2012
c90 c90
Genderqueer/genderflui d. I think I spend most time as a sort of non-binary gender.
I have trouble feeling like I would be taken seriously, which leads me to not being out very much.
05/26/2012
AnotherBrother AnotherBrother
I self-identify as male in general and usually claim "genderqueer". I also consider myself to be a crossdresser as I like skirts. I like the masculine types most commonly, but as I see myself male, I call myself a fag (reclaiming words is fun).

I thought about transitioning, but I realized that I'm happy with my body. Just because I don't have to shave my face every morning doesn't make me any less of a man.
06/13/2012
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