How did you come out to your extended family? Are you out?

TheParrishism TheParrishism
I am trying to work up the courage to come out to my extended family before the next reunion. How did yall go about doing it?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I'm not out.
17  (33%)
I'm only out to my close family.
9  (17%)
I sent them a letter.
3  (6%)
I told them in person.
4  (8%)
I came out via Facebook, Twitter, etc. (Social Media)
4  (8%)
Other (Explain?)
15  (29%)
Total votes: 52
Poll is closed
08/25/2012
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Willowe Willowe
The only member of my extended family that I'm "out" to my mom (or sister, not sure who) outed me to them without my consent.

If you're comfortable doing it, I'd definitely recommend at least giving them a phone call to tell them. I came out to my mom via text and it was hell waiting to hear back from her because I wasn't sure if she had gotten it or not, if I should resend it, if she was ignoring it, etc. At least with a phone call or telling them in person, you know that they'll definitely know and if things go bad you can just end the conversation and hang up.
08/25/2012
Caprieclipse Caprieclipse
I just recently came out to my immediate family and friends.
08/26/2012
DarthTaco DarthTaco
I intend to call my extended family, and warn them I have guns and plenty of ammo @_@. I'm not kidding, they're freaking crazy and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna end up in the hospital if I try to do it in person. You should've seen what they did to my uncle when he came out as gay, and he wasn't even a blood relative! D: I know the day I come out will be the day I lose them forever (and maybe a kidney). Thankfully I'm not fond of most of them XP. I just feel bad for the few I actually care about. I'll be years before I can see them again, and by then they'll end up brainwashed. I don't use that word lightly either, they actually try to brainwash their own kids @_@.
08/26/2012
barrowdowns barrowdowns
not out
08/26/2012
Happenstance Happenstance
I am out to my parents and most of my acquaintances as "bisexual," tough I'm actually panromantic and demisexual (explanations are difficult and draining and I don't want to explain to everyone). I am only out as genderqueer and my true sexual/romantic orientation to my two partners and a less than a handful of queer friends from college.
08/27/2012
comatose-kitty comatose-kitty
The way I see it - if I'm not fucking you, it's not any of your business.
08/27/2012
sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by comatose-kitty
The way I see it - if I'm not fucking you, it's not any of your business.
THIS! I feel like if I mention to anyone that I'm trans, I'm automatically seen as a science subject and therefore any questions are fair-game to them -.-.
08/27/2012
ehre ehre
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I am trying to work up the courage to come out to my extended family before the next reunion. How did yall go about doing it?
I had the unfortunate experience of being outed by a friend to my extended family. Most of them treat me like nothing has changed (frustrating) but I can't say that's entirely bad because they could have wholly rejected me. I find it's better to explain things yourself and face to face so you can answer any questions they have. Also, expressions tend to help. People take you a lot more seriously when they see any signs of distress, etc.
08/28/2012
lovebites lovebites
My big mouth mother told most of them and I guess it spread to everyone else. My mom wouldn't have even known if she didn't go through my bag when I was in high school and find a note my ex girlfriend wrote me.
08/28/2012
pleasurehunter pleasurehunter
im not out, my family is accepting but.. still I can sense the awkwardness that would arise whenever i had same gender friends over
08/28/2012
brevado brevado
Out and about!
08/28/2012
icelandia icelandia
Only out to my closest friends, none of my family
08/28/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I'm only out to a couple of family members, but those who do know I just told in person at family events.
09/01/2012
Vaginas Vaginas
I'm only out to a couple close friends. and my boyfriend. and the EF and my blog lol. but not with my family at all.
09/01/2012
pleasurehunter pleasurehunter
im thinking of coming out, the people closet to me know so i guess thats all that matters
09/01/2012
Boyqueen Boyqueen
As far as I know my mother or father told them. I came out to my mom, then my dad, and from there I let them kind of take the reigns. I know my grandmother on my dad's side knows and she supports me, but I don't know who else knows. They're all very conservative, religious, not accepting, on my mothers side so I haven't gone out of my way to let them know.
10/25/2012
TheProfessors TheProfessors
I didn't make a big deal of it, the way I saw it was simple: None of my cousins told the whole family they were heterosexual they just brought their s/o to a family function and that was that. I did the same thing... but with a s/o that was of the same sex.
10/26/2012
Llewey Llewey
I never make a big to-do about coming out to extended family; I rarely see any of them as it is.

I show up to family events wearing pretty androgynous clothing and sometimes nail polish, and if someone asks if I'm with someone, I casually say I have a boyfriend. I'm past being embarrassed or shy about any of that. I don't advertize it, and if no one asks, no one will know. My family is good about not being too nosy, and I'm good about not being obnoxious.

To OP: I would suggest you don't make a big announcement, really. The best way to come out about -anything- in my experience is to be so nonchalant that the person being told usually just accepts it as a mundane fact, or else is not given proper time to be shocked. Don't make a big deal out of it, and usually neither will they.

Anyway, bedtime for me!
10/26/2012
pestilence pestilence
When I changed my name/gender on Facebook, I first contacted my close friends individually and sent one email to all close extended family members. The rest simply saw it as a Facebook status.
There's some family members who aren't on Facebook that I'm not sure know, but there's only one relative I'm actually hiding it from (and even his wife knows!).
10/26/2012
hanjonatan hanjonatan
i came out to (most of) my immediate family ten years ago, and then more and more of my extended family over the years. for the most part i didn't tell my extended family, my parents did - i think the only exception was my cousin who i'm very close to. i told her in person a few years ago - five years? something like that.

it happened kind of slowly and complicatedly for a lot of reasons, but yeah, that's about it. oh, i just remembered, i came out to another cousin on facebook. the rest all heard it on the family grapevine.
11/02/2012
Pardalote Pardalote
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I am trying to work up the courage to come out to my extended family before the next reunion. How did yall go about doing it?
I am only out to my close friends and one of my siblings. I don't know if I will ever be able to be out to my parents, grandparents, etc.
11/02/2012
Andrew1992 Andrew1992
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I am trying to work up the courage to come out to my extended family before the next reunion. How did yall go about doing it?
I haven't told my extended family, but I imagine my parents have told them. I don't honestly know if they know. I guess I'll find out over Thanksgiving!
11/04/2012
PrincessYagami PrincessYagami
I am out, but no matter how much I tell my family, it's like they don't believe me. I even cuddle/ kiss my fiance in front of them. It's weird
11/07/2012
TboyTy TboyTy
I'm out to all of my extended family. My Mom's side I didn't have much choice, they've seen the whole process, we live close. My Dad's side on the other side of the country knows but not through my doing. A cousin found me on FaceBook, asked if it was me and before I answered I got a rather entertaining call from my Dad. None of them have reached out to me and I know better than to try to reciprocate myself. They are a little too conservative and old school for that. The things my Dad tells me they say (edited versions I'm sure), don't lend themselves to that desire either. Se la vie.
11/08/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I plan on sending them a letter soon.
11/13/2012
XYCopperheadSly XYCopperheadSly
I'm not out. I don't really see the need to be.
11/13/2012
nopenobody nopenobody
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I am trying to work up the courage to come out to my extended family before the next reunion. How did yall go about doing it?
I had to do it a set at a time - sister, parents, other sister, brother, and each had a different level of acceptance, but I'm glad I did it!
11/26/2012
The Mother of a SiNner The Mother of a SiNner
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I am trying to work up the courage to come out to my extended family before the next reunion. How did yall go about doing it?
my daughter told all of us she was bisexual in person
11/26/2012
radioboy radioboy
I sent out an e-mail to my family members. For the most part actually got positive feedback (despite the fact that some continue to use female pronouns towards me, which is mighty awkward as I've been on T for a year and I'm getting top surgery in March..)
11/30/2012
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Total posts: 34
Unique posters: 32