Is the "T-Word" offensive?

SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Is the T-Word offensive to transgender people? I have several friends who are trans* and we use it as a term of affection, but I hear lots of people hate it and say it's offensive. Your take?

For voting: I use trans* as to cover all non-cis identifying people. Votes are private, so be honest.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am trans* and I think it IS offensive.
31  (45%)
I am cis and I think it IS offensive.
11  (16%)
I am trans* and I think it's NOT offensive.
11  (16%)
I am cis and I think it's NOT offensive.
16  (23%)
Total votes: 69
Poll is closed
03/13/2012
  • Better Price Sale - Save 50%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 70%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 60%
  • Better Price - Save 40%
  • Try a luxury harness with a dildo and save 45% on a kit!
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Can I find "cis" offensive?

Labels are dangerous and affirming. It's one thing to give yourself a label, it's another to give someone a label to justify your own.

Just something to think about.
03/13/2012
Alx Alx
I'm trans* and loathe whenever people use the t-word. me, reclaim the word? no, you may call me sir!
03/13/2012
Teacookie Teacookie
What is cis? Words are just that, wasted air based on intent. No matter the label some will be fine with it and others not. Labels are a quick summary, for a basic understanding. I know transexuals or trannies and some rather skip the whole " I am a man/woman trapped in a womans/mans body." If they go through full surgery you better call them what they are, they are not a tran anymore unless they are supporting others.

How bout the word Negro? There's a hot topic thats similar to Transexual. Does transexual mean transformation of the sex?
03/13/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Teacookie
What is cis? Words are just that, wasted air based on intent. No matter the label some will be fine with it and others not. Labels are a quick summary, for a basic understanding. I know transexuals or trannies and some rather skip the whole " I ... More
I know "tranny" is a negative term, very offensive.

"Cis" is another way of saying "straight".
03/13/2012
Positwist Positwist
We're talking about "tranny," right? I identify as queer but not trans*, though I run with trans* circles.

I don't use the word. As a rule, I don't use pejorative words for groups unless I belong to the group. Even then, some pejorative words are pretty much ruined for me.
03/13/2012
snowyslut snowyslut
Quote:
Originally posted by SubmissiveFeminist
Is the T-Word offensive to transgender people? I have several friends who are trans* and we use it as a term of affection, but I hear lots of people hate it and say it's offensive. Your take?

For voting: I use trans* as to cover all ... More
I think that transfeminine people definitely can reserve the right to reclaim the word if they so choose, but the word is definitely a transmisogynistic slur and should never be used outside that context.
03/13/2012
snowyslut snowyslut
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Can I find "cis" offensive?

Labels are dangerous and affirming. It's one thing to give yourself a label, it's another to give someone a label to justify your own.

Just something to think about.
I cannot tell you how to feel, but why would cis be a term of offense to you? It is not an insult or term of derision; it simply identifies you as a person outside the trans* spectrum. It's not about justification of trans* identities, but rather a point of clarification to foster discussions; no different than any other identifier.
03/13/2012
Positwist Positwist
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I know "tranny" is a negative term, very offensive.

"Cis" is another way of saying "straight".
Oh, and... No, JR. "Cis" doesn't mean "straight." It means your gender and sex "match": A male-bodied person who identifies as a man is cis-gendered, and a female-bodied person who identify as a woman is cis.

Trans and cis refer to gender/sex. Straight and gay refer to sexuality.
03/13/2012
RavenWings RavenWings
I have trans friends and if I call them by their original name, they don't get mad because it's an honest mistake. I only call people what they want to be called.
03/13/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by snowyslut
I cannot tell you how to feel, but why would cis be a term of offense to you? It is not an insult or term of derision; it simply identifies you as a person outside the trans* spectrum. It's not about justification of trans* identities, but rather ... More
Honestly, it was more of a rhetorical question. I know trans people go through a lot to get recognized. I can't imagine how hard that would be.

My issue really is that people are applying a term to me that I wouldn't use for myself.

Thanks for the clarification on "cis" though.
03/13/2012
Positwist Positwist
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Honestly, it was more of a rhetorical question. I know trans people go through a lot to get recognized. I can't imagine how hard that would be.

My issue really is that people are applying a term to me that I wouldn't use for myself. ... More
You don't use the term for yourself because we don't give names to dominant groups. Said another way, you don't HAVE to identify as cis-gendered; everyone assumes you are.

Within queer communities, we use "cis-gendered" because we can't assume we know the sex/gender/orientation of the people around us. Think of it as a term cis and straight folks use as a courtesy to those of us who have attach labels to ourselves to be understood.

I do understand your concern, though. If it helps any, there are zero negative connotations associated with the term "cis-gendered."
03/13/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by SubmissiveFeminist
Is the T-Word offensive to transgender people? I have several friends who are trans* and we use it as a term of affection, but I hear lots of people hate it and say it's offensive. Your take?

For voting: I use trans* as to cover all ... More
I'm not any of those, but I would not find them offensive if I were. I do not find "straight" offensive because that is what I am. I'm straight, I like my man only. I'm also white and when someone refers to me as white it does not offend me. I'm female and when someone calls me woman, girl or female I do not get offended. If it is what you are I don't understand being offended by it unless you're ashamed of it and gay straight, cis, trans, or cat, I don't think anybody should be ashamed of what they are.

IMO any word can be offensive. It's whether or not you let it be.
03/13/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
You don't use the term for yourself because we don't give names to dominant groups. Said another way, you don't HAVE to identify as cis-gendered; everyone assumes you are.

Within queer communities, we use "cis-gendered" ... More
Honestly, "cis" doesn't bother me.

There's a lot that can be said about your post. It's very insightful and shows the dangers in assuming labels, self-ascribed or not. I really hope you don't see this as an attack or anything. It's really hard to convey tone in text, but that's an assumption we can all safely make!

"You don't use the term for yourself because we don't give names to dominant groups. Said another way, you don't HAVE to identify as cis-gendered; everyone assumes you are."

I'm pretty sure I get what you're saying, but it could easily be misconstrued as "you don't have to give yourself a label, we've given you one already because we're assuming you're straight." or "You don't have to give yourself one, because we've already done that."

I know you're being helpful and that's totally cool. But this really shows how volatile labels can be and why I'd rather not mess with them. It's easily a slippery slope.
03/13/2012
Positwist Positwist
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Honestly, "cis" doesn't bother me.

There's a lot that can be said about your post. It's very insightful and shows the dangers in assuming labels, self-ascribed or not. I really hope you don't see this as an attack or ... More
This doesn't read like an attack at all, no worries!

Actually, I don't think this shows the dangers of labels. I think your analysis shows the dangers of ambiguous writing, which mind kind of was

But I do understand why you're wary, and I think it's okay to be wary. Identifying ourselves feels very different for different people. The more marginal folks are, the more important naming is (I can't be acknowledged as gay if I never label myself, after all. Otherwise, everyone would assume I'm straight). We'll have to agree to disagree on this one, JR.

Thanks for being such a sport!
03/13/2012
GONE! GONE!
Quote:
Originally posted by Positwist
You don't use the term for yourself because we don't give names to dominant groups. Said another way, you don't HAVE to identify as cis-gendered; everyone assumes you are.

Within queer communities, we use "cis-gendered" ... More
This. It's not meant to be an insult, just a way to differentiate between groups when talking about transgender people. What do cis people want us to call them if not that since it's not supposed to be an insult? O.o I've met quite a few people who just couldn't stand it but they couldn't offer up any alternative that didn't basically mean "normal" and that's messed up because neither group is "normal." One is just more common.
03/13/2012
dhig dhig
this thread has taught me a lot
03/13/2012
c90 c90
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Honestly, it was more of a rhetorical question. I know trans people go through a lot to get recognized. I can't imagine how hard that would be.

My issue really is that people are applying a term to me that I wouldn't use for myself. ... More
Is there a term you'd rather apply to yourself in the appropriate situation? Or do you mean you generally won't feel the need to disclose whether you are trans* or cis, even when the distinction is relevant?

I see how it can read as "we've already given you a label", but honestly every aspect of our lives has a label or two stuck to it. Luckily we don't have to think about all of them all the time, but they're there and sometimes they become important.

For the poll I suppose the distinction isn't 100% vital, but it does give some context to the answers. Trans* people are generally more likely to have personal experience with this topic, or strong feelings. That might not be true for everybody, but it still gives the opportunity to look at the differences in the responses. If the question had been about milk, it would not be an important distinction unless somebody was trying to see if cis people prefer milk or something.
03/13/2012
Tangles Tangles
I believe that cis individuals should never use the t-word. Trans* individuals could use it and it me not as bad, but really, I would prefer if it were not used at all.
03/13/2012
Schattenstern Schattenstern
I really hate it when FTMs think that they can use it because it doesn't tend to offend FTMs as much as MTFs but FTMs need to include MTFs in their families!
03/13/2012
MasonJ MasonJ
Everyone is different, but personally, I don't like it used against me.
03/13/2012
Ryuson Ryuson
Wait, are we talking about "Transexual" or "Tranny?" It was never specified, so I voted no. I don't think that "transexual" is offensive because it's more of a medical term used for people that are going through a transition in genders. "Tranny?" That's a bit offensive!
03/13/2012
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
I think it's offensive that we have to ponder labels for ourselves or others at all. I mean really, how many of us ever HAVE to say "I'm so & so and I'm straight/gay/whatever? " Or "this is my friend X... he's cis/trans/whatever?&qu ot; It's really TMI no matter what, and if you become close enough to someone that they need know your sexual prefs, it will become apparent in its own way. Then again, I'm aware that I have an odd point of view when it comes to labels and names... it even irritates me when somebody calls me "Ma'am" (lol)

~M
03/13/2012
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by c90
Is there a term you'd rather apply to yourself in the appropriate situation? Or do you mean you generally won't feel the need to disclose whether you are trans* or cis, even when the distinction is relevant?

I see how it can read as ... More
Much love to positwist and c90

I'm jar, just me. I haven't been challenged as much as others, but have been challenged in others. I live my life and try to be happy, hoping others can find their happiness too.

I honestly don't see a point when it'd become relevant for someone to ascribe a label like cis or trans, gay or straight, etc. If someone wants to, it's on them. I'll just consider myself me and leave any distinctions to the person I chose to be with.
03/14/2012
Interesante Interesante
It is generally an offensive word and, like other offensive words, one should take care when saying it until they know how well it will be received by the people around them.
03/14/2012
c90 c90
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Much love to positwist and c90

I'm jar, just me. I haven't been challenged as much as others, but have been challenged in others. I live my life and try to be happy, hoping others can find their happiness too.

I honestly ... More
I can think of a few times when it could be quite relevant, but I suppose not when it would be mandatory. Except when filling out forms. But nobody really likes those anyway.
03/14/2012
butts butts
I don't care myself, but I never use it when referring to other transsexuals. Cis people shouldn't use it unless they're 100% sure the person they're referring to is OK with it, neither should other trans people. I don't really get WHY it's offensive to others, but I'd rather not offend people if I can help it.
03/14/2012
spineyogurt spineyogurt
I dont label anyone
03/14/2012
plaidvulva plaidvulva
Like most of everything, it depends the situation which it's being used. There are various people who actually use it as an insult, but other people use it as just a categorization and mean nothing offensive by it.

I've just stopped being offended by these things.
03/14/2012
MistressDandelion MistressDandelion
It's offensive if you want it to be offensive.
03/24/2012
  • 1
  • 2
Total posts: 49
Unique posters: 37