Long hair and genderqueers/FtM

  • Christmas shipping schedule
  • 20% OFF sitewide — Code: ENJOY20

Long hair and genderqueers/FtM

meezerosity meezerosity
I'm a metalhead at heart. Long hair is a big part of the metal culture and I'm currently growing mine out long after wearing it short for so long. I have an awkward chin length thing going on right now that really makes me look more feminine than I'd prefer.

Since short hair is so stereotypically masculine, how do you feel about long hair on trans* guys?

I'm genderqueer so this isn't quite as important though it makes me feel really dysphoric on my masculine days. I feel like my haircut feminizes me too much to really "pass" as male until I get to the stage of where I can put it in a ponytail at the nape of my neck, a typical male way to wear long hair. Combined with having more feminine features it just adds to it not working well for me.
06/13/2012
  • Buy 1 Toy, Get 1 FREE! Mix and Match
  • Save 50% on Gift Set For Couples!
  • Save 50% on Gift Set For Her!
  • Save 50% on Gift Set For Him!
  • Holiday Clearance – Save 80%
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
GONE! GONE!
I think that judging what other people do with their bodies in superficial ways is a really big problem in the trans* community. For everything, I like to ask this: If a cis person did it, would everyone suddenly insist they were not their gender anymore? Lots of cis metal guys have long hair, why shouldn't trans* metal guys have it too? I love long hair on all guys personally.
If I were you, I would try to keep it in a style that is more masculine until it grows out, like sweeping it back from the forehead and stuff.
06/13/2012
TheirPet TheirPet
I am also genderqueer. I'm androgynous/neutrois with masculine leanings. I really love long hair and used to say as a kid, 'If I was born a boy I'd still have long hair!' but around High School I cut it short and kept it short for years.

The past two years I've been growing out my hair and I'm just past shoulders. (The awkward stage does rightfully suck, I used hats and bandanas for a lot of that stage.) And let me tell you...

I used to get called, 'Sir' and 'Son' all the time when I had short hair and, even though I'm in a community were there are a lot of long haired men (we have a lot of Native Americans and assorted other cowboys that grow long) I noticed that the 'Sirs' come a lot less than they used to. People tend to assume that if you have long hair than you must be feminine or female. A lot of cis-bio-males I know with long hair have this same problem. They've been called 'Ma'am' sometimes, or been told to cut it, or even been bullied over it.

The thing that convinced me to keep my hair long is that I finally sat down and said to myself, 'Hair does not have a gender.' Hair does not have a sex and it certainly isn't sentient to have a gender. Hair grows on /everybody/ and it's natural. We just have to blame the Victorian Era for popularizing the short do's for guys. It is perfectly okay to have long hair and it used to be the norm for a man to wear his locks long. Try not to let it bother you too much---I know how bad dysphoria can be, but I find when I get a wave of it I just look in the mirror and say, 'My hair doesn't have a gender.' And remind myself all the reasons why I like my long hair in the first place.

Fortunately, it seems like longer hair is coming back into popularity again with this new generation and hopefully, as more guys start to wear their hair long, people will stop viewing it as having a gender.

Hope this helps!
06/13/2012
meezerosity meezerosity
Quote:
Originally posted by GONE!
I think that judging what other people do with their bodies in superficial ways is a really big problem in the trans* community. For everything, I like to ask this: If a cis person did it, would everyone suddenly insist they were not their gender ...
Thank you, you're very right about all of that. I'll experiment with different styles in the meantime until I can tie it back.
06/14/2012
meezerosity meezerosity
Quote:
Originally posted by TheirPet
I am also genderqueer. I'm androgynous/neutrois with masculine leanings. I really love long hair and used to say as a kid, 'If I was born a boy I'd still have long hair!' but around High School I cut it short and kept it short for ...
Thank you so much for the detailed reply! It was very helpful. I just need to remind myself hair has no gender on a daily basis when it gets in my way.
06/14/2012
sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by meezerosity
I'm a metalhead at heart. Long hair is a big part of the metal culture and I'm currently growing mine out long after wearing it short for so long. I have an awkward chin length thing going on right now that really makes me look more feminine ...
I've always had long hair (nothing past my shoulders though) and I think at times it actually HELPS you pass. Some guys have rounder faces than others so short hair kinda makes that a bit more obvious. I say maybe try for a layered look as opposed to just straight hair (though that might be the look you're aiming for) because it adds more squareness to the face.
06/15/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I'm genderqueer and have always favored short hair because I am terrible at caring for my hair when it's long, but one of my closest genderqueer friends has always had very long hair and I don't think it invalidates anyone's identity, though it can, unfortunately, shift the way people interpret and respond to your gender. I also really like TheirPet's reply - hair doesn't have a gender, you should get to wear yours in whatever way makes you feel the most like you.
06/17/2012
snowyslut snowyslut
Quote:
Originally posted by meezerosity
I'm a metalhead at heart. Long hair is a big part of the metal culture and I'm currently growing mine out long after wearing it short for so long. I have an awkward chin length thing going on right now that really makes me look more feminine ...
I am a trans* genderqueer butch person and I really wish I could have long hair without people misgendering me. There seems to be so much pressure to have really short hair!
06/20/2012
ghalik ghalik
Just remember gender is on the inside and when people guess wrongly it's just because gender is a stealth, concealed thing. Hair is just one of those things people use to guess... sorry if that sounds dumb, I'm really tired.
06/20/2012
Andrew1992 Andrew1992
I mean, there's no question that if someone isn't on hormones short hair will help them be read as more masculine, but that being said, do whatever you want, you know?
06/21/2012
TheirPet TheirPet
Quote:
Originally posted by snowyslut
I am a trans* genderqueer butch person and I really wish I could have long hair without people misgendering me. There seems to be so much pressure to have really short hair!
Like I said before, cis-bio-males with long hair have this problem, too. I find the pressure is less on the west coast than the east but any males with long hair go through this.
06/21/2012
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 8