I don't think insisting that people are being "word police" when they find terms like "passing" or "stealth" to be offensive is acceptable. It's not about policing words, it's about words having meanings that can be oppressive, dangerous, offensive, or otherwise unhelpful.
Passing, for instance, insinuates that the person attempting to "pass" isn't really who they are. A man is a man. He is not "passing" as a man, he simply is a man. A woman is a woman. She is not "passing" as a woman, she simply is a woman.
Stealth insinuates that the someone is sneaking around and holding on to some deep dark secret that everyone should know about. This is also not true. Being "stealth" simply means keeping your personal life to yourself.
This is why words can often be problematic. Instead of insinuating that trans people are "faking" who they are or "lying" about it, we need language that is more truthful, honest, and less harmful.