You know what made me really begin to love and appreciate my body? The amazing changes that I have been seeing in it from both the hormone therapy as well as the surgeries I have had thus far (top surgery and full neutering).
It used to be I could exercise for a couple hours every week, working up a sweat and lifting weights and barely eating. Still, I wouldn't seem 'fit' enough. I used to use every type of crap on my face: facial cleansers and soaps and cover ups and junk. Still, I didn't like what I saw completely.
You know how I used to feel about myself? I used to feel the way I am sure many people do when they see an attractive person of the opposite sex and their first reaction is 'that person looks really good!' but then if someone says, 'wanna switch places/look like them?' you'd feel uneasy and downright hostile about it.
Yet the past few weeks I have been really happy and in awe of myself. Yes, I have a bad habit in that I have (mostly) fallen off the wagon with exercise, yet I am in the best shape of my life! I have slightly more fat on my body but it's a little on my stomach and back, not my thighs. I am not all bones or all muscles but I am really happy with myself.
And when I look at my face, yes there is really SEVERE acne that didn't used to be there. I try things to get rid of it but I don't feel like it's a big problem, not any more than needing to get my hair cut 'one of these days'.
The other night, it was the day before I was due for my T shot. I couldn't just stop feeling the wonder and happiness and amazement as I looked down at my arms. I see the veins in them now, the hair and drier skin, and it's just wonderful to me.
I'm starting to love the body I was born with: not because of how it WAS, but because of what it has been capable. I feel more than words can say that while I have a hard and rough path that will take a very long time, I am also truly blessed that everything I could ask of my body (with some minor limitations) is to develop along the same path it would've if I had gotten these hormones sooner, from within my own body.
