Let's talk family relationships!

icelandia icelandia
Are you out to your family? How did they handle it? Were they supportive?
08/15/2012
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TheParrishism TheParrishism
I am out to my family. They aren't on board, but they are polite about it. They more take the 'ignoring the issue' route.
08/15/2012
butts butts
I'm out to my parents only, they're not so happy about it. My mother made it very clear that she thought I was sick and disgusting, my father made it clear that he still sees me as a child who can't make responsible decisions. For the last few years we've simply avoided the subject completely, thank god I moved out around the same time I came out. In the future I plan to chat with them, and I'll be transitioning without their support or help, or their "permission". Now that I'm on HRT, I'm going to wait until there's blatant visual effects, because I think it will make them realize that even though it's been quite a few years since I "talked about this phase I'm having", I'm STILL experiencing the issues and it's not something I can ignore so I can please them. Maybe they'll just get extra upset and my mother will finally slap me like she's always wanted to haha. At this point, even though I'd appreciate their understanding and support, I'm not expecting it, and I'm prepared to do this without them.

I've toyed with the thought of coming out to my more liberal uncle and aunt, because I feel like they'd be more accepting. I don't know what good it would do, maybe I'm subconsciously yearning for family acceptance more than I'd like to admit.
08/20/2012
violets violets
I'm out to pretty much all my family at this point. I couldn't really hide it even if I wanted to now that I have facial hair. My uncle on my father's side was actually one of the first people I came out to. For the most part my family's really good about it. Out of everyone my parents have the most problem with it. They always seem really uncomfortable about it and constantly misgender me. I try correcting them on my pronouns, but having to do that over and over gets old quickly, so mostly I've stopped even trying to talk to them about it because it gets too frustrating. My mother also sometimes just randomly tells people that I'm trans (even people I don't know very well) and then she acts like it's some sort of family embarrassment, or like she thinks it's some kind of phase I'm going through. Which can be very uncomfortable to say the least.
08/20/2012
sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I am out to my family. They aren't on board, but they are polite about it. They more take the 'ignoring the issue' route.
THIS D: I can relate almost entirely with this. It's the "ignore it and it might go away" type of thing....so they still call me by my birthname and use female pronouns etc. But they aren't explicitly disrespectful anymore. Before I came out they'd tease me about my choice of clothing and mannerisms.
08/20/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
My immediate family knows and are okay with it but don't quite understand it, though they try. My extended family doesn't know at all.
08/21/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
Quote:
Originally posted by sodapin
THIS D: I can relate almost entirely with this. It's the "ignore it and it might go away" type of thing....so they still call me by my birthname and use female pronouns etc. But they aren't explicitly disrespectful anymore. Before I ... More
My parents are aware. They don't mention it ever. When I tell them about new steps I am taking in my transition, they don't really make any comments, but they have made it clear that they will be making no attempts to switch pronouns.
08/25/2012
sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
My parents are aware. They don't mention it ever. When I tell them about new steps I am taking in my transition, they don't really make any comments, but they have made it clear that they will be making no attempts to switch pronouns.
Oh wow that really sucks :\. I've heard from others' experiences that it might take as long as 10 years for parents to finally come around, which seems disheartening, but hey :O better late than never I suppose? Hang in there .
08/25/2012
Caprieclipse Caprieclipse
I am out to my family. My dad and sister are cool with it but my mom went pope on my ass!
08/26/2012
Willowe Willowe
I'm out to my mom, my older sister, and my aunt. I came out to my mom first and she's always been a bit... iffy about it. Doesn't want to talk about it, acts like it's not a real thing, etc. My older sister was very supportive, though, which was nice.

And then one of them told my aunt. Still not sure which did it, but now I feel like I can't trust either of them. I have PCOS which causes a lot of hormonal problems and my aunt basically acted like since my hormones were out-of-whack anything I felt related to my gender was automatically caused by that and therefore invalid. Even though I feel like I have a pretty reasonable idea of what emotions are hormone-caused and which aren't.

At any rate, I don't really trust any of those three people with this now and I'm not too eager to come out to anyone else in my family. Luckily I have a large support network of friends, so I'm not in any rush to come out to my family anyway.
08/26/2012
MJ7 MJ7
I came out to my mom on a gradual basis. I don't think she was super surprised, and she's always supported me no matter what so I have her support now.
09/05/2012
Billie Bones Billie Bones
I'm out to my family about my sexual orientation but not about my gender identity. My family is religious and conservative so coming out as a gay woman was hard enough for them to understand. Years later, things are still fairly tense. I think if I came out as genderqueer to anyone but my cousins they would either be hostile or dismissive. Neither of which I want to deal with right now.
09/05/2012
DarthTaco DarthTaco
I'm out to my mother. She's pretty much cool with the whole situation. Her reaction to when I first told her was, "Oh thank God! I thought you were gonna tell me something truly horrible, like that you were pregnant!" My boyfriend (who was there) and I laughed so hard when she said that. She still uses female pronouns and whatnot, but I don't blame her. We speak Spanish, and it's a hard language to do these switches with XP. Hell, sometimes I still refer to myself by female words and pronouns by accident xD. We'll get it with time :'P.

I'm not out to my father, but I don't have one of those so problem solved :'P. I'm not out to my extended family XP. Well, one aunt sorta knows. She lives with us so it's unavoidable :'P. She's also the only one who will likely not lynch me @_@. My younger brother doesn't know yet. He and I are really close and his opinion matters most to me than anyone else's, hence why I'm taking my time XP. I intend to talk to him soon though. I know he'll be ok with it, but it's still a major change for him so I don't wanna shock him.
09/07/2012
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 11