I'm not sure I'm trans* anymore. Have you ever felt like this?

snowyslut snowyslut
Have you, after identifying as trans*, thought that maybe you're actually cis? NO SHAMING ALLOWED.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
No, I have never had this experience. I am definitely trans*.
17  (27%)
Yes, I have had this experience, but it went away. I'm still trans*.
13  (21%)
Yes, I have had this experience, and it still concerns me. I'm not sure whether I'm trans* or cis.
9  (15%)
Yes, I have had this experience, and I am cis.
3  (5%)
other (please explain)
20  (32%)
Total votes: 62
Poll is closed
07/29/2012
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snowyslut snowyslut
Quote:
Originally posted by snowyslut
Have you, after identifying as trans*, thought that maybe you're actually cis? NO SHAMING ALLOWED.
I identified with being trans* from about the age of 16, when I first realized that such a thing existed. I identified as a trans man for several years, and then in the last couple I've identified more as genderqueer. But now, I'm not so sure. I think maybe I might just be a really butch cis woman. I can't fathom being cis, but I can't get it out of my head that maybe I'm not trans* after all.
07/29/2012
Nick816 Nick816
I contribute it to gender fluidity. You may sometimes identify with your birth sex, but you're still trans* and there's a good chance your identity will shift again.
07/29/2012
jesseftm jesseftm
I don't really identify as trans. I especially don't use the * because it's meant as a placeholder so you can refer to different trans identities at once....
But no, I've never thought I wasn't male.
07/30/2012
sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by snowyslut
Have you, after identifying as trans*, thought that maybe you're actually cis? NO SHAMING ALLOWED.
Yeah, I've had this feeling, but it's not so much "am I trans anymore?" it's more "is it worth it to do this?" I think it's somewhat common.
07/30/2012
sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by snowyslut
I identified with being trans* from about the age of 16, when I first realized that such a thing existed. I identified as a trans man for several years, and then in the last couple I've identified more as genderqueer. But now, I'm not so ... More
Bah :\ that thought kinda troubles me. It sucks that there isn't exactly a check-list of indicators that point to a person being either trans or not. There's the DSM and WPATH, but even those aren't the most complete check-lists.
07/30/2012
Big Dog Big Dog
Sometimes I feel like I'm feminine, sometimes I don't. I keep thinking one day I'll wake up and go completely over the line.
07/31/2012
hanjonatan hanjonatan
i've never really thought i was cis since i came out to myself, but i've had a few doubts now and again, mainly when i've been deep in depression. i am definitely still trans, though.
08/01/2012
Phosphorous Tick Phosphorous Tick
I have doubts- but it usually comes with dysphoria and goes away after a little while
08/01/2012
butts butts
I've identified as male for a LONG time, and I've never felt cis at all. I've gone back and fourth on which surgeries I want, but I've never felt NOT trans. There's times where I wish i could wear cute girls clothes and pass, but I always want to be physically male, and I always identify as physically male, regardless of how effeminate I feel on a given day.

If there's any advice I can give you, it's if you don't know for SURE if you want surgery, don't do it. Hormones, you can go back (though some changes will be harder to reverse than others), but surgeries are difficult and expensive. Make sure you're 100% sure before getting any surgery. Presentation wise, that's entirely up to you, things might be harder to explain if you appear blatantly male one day and blatantly female the next, but it depends on how you feel, and how many questions you can put up with
08/03/2012
lecanis lecanis
I've been up and down this spectrum a lot. I lived as male a few times when I was growing up, but the reasons for it were pretty complicated, and I've find myself going back and forth on how I feel about my gender. Parenthood further complicated the matter, since an identity as "mother" became part of the equation.

I currently just say genderqueer, but I definitely don't think I'm "cis", I just think that identifying as trans given all the variables wouldn't be feasible for me at the moment.
08/03/2012
Boyqueen Boyqueen
My process of identification was slow, IDing as genderqueer for awhile before realizing I identify as non-binary. I've never not felt trans*, though.
08/04/2012
Rey Rey
Quote:
Originally posted by Nick816
I contribute it to gender fluidity. You may sometimes identify with your birth sex, but you're still trans* and there's a good chance your identity will shift again.
+1
i agree!
08/04/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I had this happen to some friends of mine.
They were not trans, but they felt that, if they were not femme and stereotypical and such, they must be a boy.
I felt terrible for them.
I just want you to know that it is ok, whatever you are. It is ok to have whatever gender presentation makes you feel comfortable and still be cis. You don't have to ID as trans to present in any sort of butch or whatever kind of way.
08/13/2012
Ciao. Ciao.
Identity is a pretty fluid thing, and I don't think there's anything wrong with questioning whether you are trans or your cis gender (or something else entirely). While I've consistently identified myself as trans I've never felt a need to transition, I just present myself in the way that feels right. Sometimes the trans feelings ebb and flow, and I think that's just kind of a part of being in that middle space, but I would not be shocked if most people have times where they feel more strongly gendered one way or another.
08/13/2012
icelandia icelandia
Eh, I had a friend who went through this. Thought she was trans, but as she got older, she realized she was fine being a girl. It happens.
08/16/2012
GONE! GONE!
I've had my moments and hard months. It's hard to feel solid about an identity when people are constantly refusing to accept it and telling you that you're wrong about your own gender. I feel very comfortable as who I am now though. It took experimenting and acceptance, but I know now I am undeniably trans*.
08/16/2012
smlove smlove
I think sometimes we get too caught up in labels. and being trans is just another label.
One MtF girl I know had to have her implants removed after she found out she was allergic to silicone. and now she's recently stopped taking her estrogen cause it was giving her eczema. it almost seems like she's allergic to being female, but really, what makes a person female? She still wants to identify as female even though she's stopped doing a lot of the biological things that would make her so.
My wife throws a lot of people for a loop, because she's a butch lesbian transwoman. a lot of people are like "well, why didn't you just stay a dude?" because she felt like a butch lesbian is why. so she has long hair and boobs, but likes wearing pretty panties under her cargo shorts and tank tops.
I've started looking more at people in terms of biology and their identity. Whereas I am an XX girl, my wife is an XY girl. we're both girls, but she may have different problems healthwise because of her Y and vice versa. But then there's the people that don't feel they fit into 'boy' or 'girl'. and that's okay too. It is really hard to use a third gender pronoun, but I think if we all just had some practice, it would work just fine.
Find out from each person what their preference is. I'm finding more and more of my friends identify as genderqueer, or something similar. my one friend made up the term 'dick girl'. She's a cisgender female that wishes she had a dick, but likes being a girl. so she just wears her feeldoe a lot.
I know of another cisgender female that feels like she is a fabulous gay man in a woman's body. she does not wish to transition, but she wears very fabulous makeup and clothes, and wears her penis as often as she can. she is in a relationship with a cis-man, but they call it a homosexual relation ship even though she still uses the female pronoun.
We make up a beautiful rainbow of sexualities and identities. At some point you may feel trans, at another point you may not. the only place that makes a huge difference is when considering SRS. if you're comfortable with your parts but identify as the other gender or somewhere in between, then keep your parts. If you want other parts, or want some of your parts gone, then do that. but only because you want to, not because you think it'll make you more of a man or more of a woman.
08/22/2012
c90 c90
I'm genderfluid, and at the times I feel feminine I get uncomfortable about identifying as trans* to others, but I don't get the feeling that I'm really cis.
08/22/2012
GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
I've questioned myself in more of a 'is it really worth it, could I just try to exist as female?' sort of way. Then came to the conclusion that yes, it is worth it, no I could not exist as female, and that I cannot deny who I am. As femme as I may be at times, I am still a male. A feminine or androgynous male? Definitely. But a male nonetheless.
08/23/2012
sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by GenderSexplorations
I've questioned myself in more of a 'is it really worth it, could I just try to exist as female?' sort of way. Then came to the conclusion that yes, it is worth it, no I could not exist as female, and that I cannot deny who I am. As femme ... More
I've felt like this numerous times. That's the exact point that runs through my mind...."is this worth it?"

Today actually I've felt a bit weirded out because I'm starting to look more and more masculine :S, but I'm not sure why I feel weird. It doesn't seem to suit me or something, yet I have the desire to look masculine. It's a weird feeling right now <.< I'm not sure how to take it.
08/23/2012
Caprieclipse Caprieclipse
No doubt about it, I'm trans.
08/26/2012
barrowdowns barrowdowns
definitely trans
08/26/2012
Happenstance Happenstance
Some self-doubt is to be expected, especially in a society that constantly belittles you and tells you you are wrong. Doubt is nothing to be ashamed of. Questioning yourself does not make you something you're not. And if you think you made a mistake somewhere in your self-discovery, that's okay, too. Own up to it and move on. If you didn't make any mistake then, but you think you have changed over the years, that's okay, too. Identity can be fluid sometimes. Of course, it's always prudent to know exactly how much privilege you have (or don't have)... and it IS possible to appropriate trans* experiences... but if you are truly only trying to figure out who you are, don't be so hard on yourself.
08/27/2012
sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by Happenstance
Some self-doubt is to be expected, especially in a society that constantly belittles you and tells you you are wrong. Doubt is nothing to be ashamed of. Questioning yourself does not make you something you're not. And if you think you made a ... More
I found these words to be comforting and encouraging thank you.
08/27/2012
maxwe maxwe
Quote:
Originally posted by snowyslut
Have you, after identifying as trans*, thought that maybe you're actually cis? NO SHAMING ALLOWED.
sometimes i doubt myself but ???? i cant imagine being a woman even like a super butch one idk
08/28/2012
pleasurehunter pleasurehunter
Can someone break it down for me what cisgendered is, in terms so a kid can understand haha. I tried to wikipedia it but the lingo confused me.
08/28/2012
humblepie humblepie
Quote:
Originally posted by pleasurehunter
Can someone break it down for me what cisgendered is, in terms so a kid can understand haha. I tried to wikipedia it but the lingo confused me.
Cisgender refers to someone whose physical sex matches the gender they identify with - if you have ovaries, and you identify as a woman, then you are cisgendered or 'cis' (and vice versa). Hope that helps!
08/28/2012
Happenstance Happenstance
Quote:
Originally posted by humblepie
Cisgender refers to someone whose physical sex matches the gender they identify with - if you have ovaries, and you identify as a woman, then you are cisgendered or 'cis' (and vice versa). Hope that helps!
This is not the place to discuss what cisgender means. A transgender issues board is not the place for cis people to feel entitled to repeat frequently-asked questions that they could easily look up for themselves with less than two minutes of research.
08/28/2012
sodapin sodapin
Quote:
Originally posted by Happenstance
This is not the place to discuss what cisgender means. A transgender issues board is not the place for cis people to feel entitled to repeat frequently-asked questions that they could easily look up for themselves with less than two minutes of ... More
While I agree there are a lot of posts AND threads on topics that have already been discussed (point farmers you know who you are <.<), it may be safer to assume that anyone who finds their way to the transgendered issues section of the forum is genuinely seeking advice or clarification on a topic.

It may be frustrating to repeat certain things, but anyone who comes into this domain (cis, trans, or otherwise) may be deterred or soured by a confrontational first experience here.

Nevertheless I totally agree and am also frustrated by new threads that pop up everyday on commonly discussed issues.
08/29/2012
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