Trans Women Share-A-Thon!

grrltalk grrltalk
I'm new to the Eden Community. I just signed up last week, and I want to be all kinds of plugged in and share and talk about sex and all kinds of things. I don't think trans women talk about sex enough, and I want to do it more!

I also found that a lot of the forums on here have trans women posting about how they would like to see more resources on Eden for trans women. I feel the same way. To fix this problem, let's share our own resources in this thread! Use it to share resources about ANYTHING. Transition information, passing tips, sex toy preferences, ways to fuck, language for your parts, surgical stories questions and recommendations, books, websites, organizations. Share your own stories, share links, share anything at all about being a trans woman!

I think it would be cool to get a whole bunch of people to contribute to this thread and just talk about trans women, our bodies, our lives, our experiences etc. Let's not just focus on "the surgery" or on transition, as I find that a lot of times these discussions turn into conversations that are totally grounded in passing and surgery. Let's share what is often taboo for trans women to share. And, let's keep the space open, positive, and learning and sharing oriented. It shouldn't be exclusive to trans women, and questions and comments from people who are not trans women, or who are not trans should be welcomed, and encouraged. But please try to keep the conversation about trans women and trans experiences more broadly. If you have specific questions about trans men or genderqueer or other specific trans identities, make a new thread and create more conversations! The more places and ways we talk about trans everything, the more people will be empowered and the more people will get to access and contribute and be involved!
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grrltalk grrltalk
Here's my first sharing post. I found in other threads, trans women were looking for resources about transition, passing, and being feminine. Here are a few thoughts and resources that have helped me in my transition. I was noho and living full-time in my chosen gender for around 2 years before I started estrogen, and even then, estrogen takes a long time to feminize your body, so I learned a lot and explored a lot of resources. Here are some that I found were helpful for me:

I used to wear breastforms. It's something that I wish I hadn't gotten so into, as I think that the focus on having perfect boobs in our culture (American culture generally and trans women's culture as well) is kind of fucked up. That said, when I did wear them, I really needed to, and I will NEVER question someone's need or decision to wear breastforms to feel comfortable in their own skin.

I REALLY liked my PALS Breastforms. I had the B-Cup size teardrop shape. I got them on ebay for like $50, and you can still get them there. The good thing about them, is that they are squishy, warm with your body, can be worn in a regular bra, and are not silicone filled. They're durable, puncture proof, can be trimmed to fit your body/needs, and washed with soapy water and powdered with baby powder or corn starch. The downside is that they recommend that you don't use adhesives with them, but I found a good full coverage bra with an underwire held them in place just fine. For things like swimming, I'd wear that with a sports bra over it to keep them from floating out of place.

Laser Hair Removal is a cheaper and only mildly painful way to reduce/remove facial hair. I had really thick, fast-growing facial hair, and still have a bit of a scruff that I have to shave every day or two. I have had 10 LHR sessions, and after the first few noticed a significant difference in the amount of hair I had, and more importantly how fast it grows. Now, it is much thinner, finer, and slower growing than it used to be, and I can shave in the morning and go out without foundation if I want to, and you can't tell I ever had a beard, and with foundation, it makes me even more comfortable and confident. I plan on getting electrolysis for the rest because I still have to shave pretty much every day, but as a means to make hiding your facial hair easier, and significantly reducing it, I highly recommend LHR. Unfortunately, it only works well for people with pale skin and dark hair.

I have also done some electrolysis myself using a OneTouch home electrolysis machine. OneTouch is the only manufacturer that makes legit home electrolysis devices. You can buy them on and on Ebay. It's kind of tough, REALLY tedious, hurts, and takes FOREVER, but the machine is like 35 dollars and then you can slowly pick away at your face, if DIY is something you're into.

Eyebrows and facial expressions are some of the most significant things to work on if passing as a woman is your goal. Watch women's faces, and listen to how they speak.

Body language is perhaps one of the MOST influential pieces of how people read your gender. Watch people who you assume are women and see how they hold their bodies, how they stand, how they walk, how they tilt their head, the amount of eye contact they make, how they sit, etc. etc. Every behavior and movement we make is gendered in our culture, so working on body language and cues can be more helpful to make you pass than any sort of physical changes.

A feminine sounding voice is more about resonance than it is about pitch. It also can make or break how well you pass. Don't talk in a falsetto voice if a feminine voice is your goal, because that is not how a cis woman's voice sounds. I HIGHLY recommend Finding Your Female Voice by Andrea James. It helped me a lot.
It's also helpful, if you can afford it, to get voice training and stuff, but that's wicked expensive and many folks, me included, can't afford it. Just remember, it is about resonance, not pitch. Don't speak from your chest or deep in your throat, speak more from the top half of your throat. I found that when I trained my voice if I put my hand at the top of my chest where my neck meets my body, my voice sounded right when I could speak and feel no vibrations there. Also a handheld tape recorder that you can speak into and play back is REALLY important. My voice sounds WAY different to me than it does in a recording, and to other people. I found cold-calling stores and businesses with random questions and seeing if I got ma'amed was a good way to gauge my progress, as well.

I am sure that there is more that I could include in here, and I'll definitely keep posting and updating and stuff. But I wanted to share some transition-related info and thoughts to get the ball rolling. I am also going to make a post about fucking and sex resources to get things going, but wanted to start here.

Also, check out Deep Stealth Productions, Hairfacts. and TS Roadmap for trans woman specific resources and information about transition.
grrltalk grrltalk
Grrltalk on SEX:
I like sex. I am not a ravenous, sex-starved Mira Breckinridge, but I like sex.

My transition and gender identity are not related to any sort of bizarre sexual desires, regardless what some assholes may say, but that doesn't mean I don't like sex.

I'm not going to write as much here as I did in my last post, but I wanted to make this post, as this is a forum on Eden Fantasys.

I highly recommend the zine Fucking Trans Women. I have linked it and plugged it like a zillion times on here since I joined, because it is part of why I joined. I read it, and felt inspired, felt community, and had some revelations about my body. I promise, I have nothing to do with this zine, but I do plan on writing and submitting some pieces to it in the future. Click here to submit something to Fucking Trans Women.

Anyway, here are my first thoughts on sex! Post your thoughts, language, activities, favorite toys, ways to fuck, ways to think about fucking, ways to navigate conversations, transition tips and info, and anything else in this thread!

I have genitals! WOAH! My genitals look like a penis and testicles and scrotum, and maybe they are those things. They are not male genitals, they are not a cock or balls or scrote, and they do not need to be hard to get off.
I tend to think of my parts as a big clit. I know this is common for a lot of trans women, but it certainly isn't universal. I usually only call my penis "my clit" during sex. Most of the time, if I need to reference any part of my genitals, I ambiguously refer to them as my "bits."
I don't loathe my genitals so much as I am disconnected from them. They're weird, down there, and never really have felt like a part of my body. They're just kind of there, and they do feel good if you play with them, but, not they're not like... fantastic or anything.

[italics|How do you all feel about your "bits." what language do you use? What do you like to do with them?

Sometimes my bits get hard when I am turned on, sometimes they don't. Whatever. I'm not that into putting them into other people's bits or butts anyway. I like it when I am turned on and my bits stay soft. It makes it easier for me to connect with what is happening down there. My corona and frenulum are really sensitive, and sometimes can't take direct stimulation, other times, they feel really, really good.

I have fairly large inguinal canals (where you put your testicles if you are tucking). I think it is because I usually am tucking, and wear a gaff like all of the time. Either way, when I read fucking trans women, she explains muffing, which is inserting fingers or vibrators or whatever into your inguinal canals for sexual fun. I had never done this before, but have very quickly gotten into it. Like... really into it.
Like I said, I have pretty large inguinal canals. I can easily fit 2 or 3 fingers in my inguinal rings without any tension or stress or pain, and am looking to try various toys and stuff for it. Don't push your body if you're going to try muffing- and I recommend reading the Fucking Trans Women's section on it first if you've never done it before, and starting with either inserting your own testicles (as in making tucking sexy!) or one finger.
Muffing feels really good for me. It makes me feel full. It won't generally make me cum on my own, but with some clit stimulation or anal insertion, or even just heavy play on my perenium, I have cum from this play.

I am also getting into anal play more. I never really have focused on my butt, but lately it's been getting a lot more attention. Part of this is probably because my partner is a butt-sex goddess, and part of it is probably because it's new and exciting and I am suddenly interested in and energized by my body.

Anyway, I like fucking, do you? How do you fuck? What do you like? How do you talk about sex with your partner? Share! Do you have questions about trans women or trans women's bodies or experiences that others in the Eden Community can answer (certainly not just me, I'm only one person)? Ask them here! It's the trans women share-a-thon thread!
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