What, if any, is your level of familiarity with the transgendered community?

Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by gisellerenarde
My girlfriend happens to be the most beautiful trans woman in the world...or am I just a little biased? *grin*

gigi
That kind of "bias" cannot be faulted. ^__^ I am of the opinion that my MTF parent is the most amazing parent a girl could ever have, so I guess I'm just as biased as you.
06/24/2009
Contributor: Moonpie Moonpie
My brother's wife is in the process of becoming a man. It definitely takes some getting used to but I'm supportive.
07/16/2009
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Quote:
Originally posted by Moonpie
My brother's wife is in the process of becoming a man. It definitely takes some getting used to but I'm supportive.
Thank you for being supportive. It does take some time to get used to changing pronouns, names, etc. when someone you've known as one person for a while is transitioning. This site link has helped me understand, and is also a good source for general technical questions that you may not feel comfortable asking him.
07/16/2009
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
I had a transgendered friend when I was in college, and it was hard not to be jealous because she was so beautiful. Honestly I think that nature made a mistake when she was born male, and thought it was cool that she'd gone with her own feelings and become what she felt was right for her instead of trying to fit into what her family wanted her to be.


Michele
07/16/2009
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
My father came out to my mother and I as transgendered in the past few months. (I'll continue referring to my dad as "him" for now, at his request) Unlike many similar situations I've heard about, their marriage didn't fall ... more
Golly I don't think anyone here would blame you for needing to pull back a bit and regroup. Much love to your amazing mother and father, they are courageous in the extreme for tackling this problem together! Love knows no gender and I think their example proves that absolutely.
07/21/2009
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
Thanks for your kind words, Happy Lady and Backseat Boohoo. They really mean a lot to me. My dad started hormone treatments earlier this month, and while it's taken some getting used to, it's not as hard as we feared. It was actually a lot of ... more
OMG I was just sitting and thinking about what if that were me...imagining my dad trying on bras and I couldn't help but smile. I bet that was a wonderful bonding experience! Next you can introduce him to push up bras and garters, what fun!
07/21/2009
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by stuck in the middle
I'm transgenderd.Actualy diagnosed as TS a few years ago and am finaly looking at transition.I found out last week through a diversity meeting for my company that we not only support but encourage diversity including transgender.I've ... more
WOW just wow! What a wonderful company! Good luck in your transition both at home and at work!
07/21/2009
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Golly I don't think anyone here would blame you for needing to pull back a bit and regroup. Much love to your amazing mother and father, they are courageous in the extreme for tackling this problem together! Love knows no gender and I think their ... more
Thanks Airen. Things are going really well for my family. My mom's side of the family all knows now, and they took it really well. Turns out my grandmother and uncle (Mom's brother) both met some of the doctors who did the early pioneering in Gender Reassignment Surgery: my grandmother interviewed one of them when she was in college, and my uncle attended a talk by one in med school. We told my sister recently, and she took it the best of all of us. I kid you not, when my mom asked if she was ok with everything that was going on, her response was a slightly confused "Why shouldn't I be? It's just who he is!" as if this was the most natural thing in the world to believe. Much as we may fight, I love my sister.
07/21/2009
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
Thanks Airen. Things are going really well for my family. My mom's side of the family all knows now, and they took it really well. Turns out my grandmother and uncle (Mom's brother) both met some of the doctors who did the early pioneering in ... more
That's so wonderful.

The transitioning man in my life has a family who judges. They are not only nonsupportive, they act like his transitioning is some burden in their lives, or like he is just being "dramatic." grrrrr
07/22/2009
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
That's so wonderful.

The transitioning man in my life has a family who judges. They are not only nonsupportive, they act like his transitioning is some burden in their lives, or like he is just being "dramatic." grrrrr
I'm so sorry. Not having the support of those you love is really rough.
07/22/2009
Contributor: bi-bi bi-bi
Quote:
Originally posted by gisellerenarde
My girlfriend happens to be the most beautiful trans woman in the world...or am I just a little biased? *grin*

gigi
lucky you .. i would love to hook up with someone like that .. said before.. best of both worlds .. we could share top and bottom.. plus i would really get into giving her head and hope for the happy ending
07/24/2009
Contributor: bi-bi bi-bi
Quote:
Originally posted by Epiphora
Intersex.
is this for real?? ... sure is HOT !!!

link

sorry i didnt name the vid
07/26/2009
Contributor: ftmct ftmct
I'm Trans(FtM), and have transgender friends both FtM and MtF. I also have friends who ID as trans but in more of a genderqueer sense and don't plan to transition physically.
08/01/2009
Contributor: stuck in the middle stuck in the middle
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
WOW just wow! What a wonderful company! Good luck in your transition both at home and at work!
Thanx so much Airen.Work is taking things well and I've got any kind of support I need or want from them.Since writing that post I have officially outed myself to our diversity mgr district mgr and 2 other store mgrs as well as all mgt in my store.They were completely shocked.Once the shock waned their official word to me was >They want to see a 100% successful transition and keep me safe in the process.

Given my old life that's going to be hard to do as I keep having my past show up to bite me in the ass but I keep slowly moving on down the road in hopes one day soon I will finally get to be me.
09/22/2009
Contributor: Darling Dove Darling Dove
I have known a transgendered person and we were friends but once they became transgendered and gay (and while they may have been gay before, the trans thing just 'happened' one day, previously they were a woman and they just had severe issues with being mistreated as a woman, but they were actually engaged to a man and had been for years with no suspicion of being the wrong gender) they became extremely self deprecating and they would harass me in order to get a reaction so they could thusly claim I abused them and was a gay/tranny hater. I got sick of it so we aren't friends anymore. So I guess I cant really check any of the boxes. I've BEEN friends with transgendered people but they pushed me away.
09/22/2009
Contributor: deceased deceased
I know a few transwomen but other than myself, and one other transmen on this island. Infact, my job has a "diversity problem:" so that men or women who do not look like their bio gender get counselled to do so.
Transpeople have problems with healthcare people as well. The female to males use "doctors" who are not licenced for silicone injections. There has been violence against gender varient individuals big time. Last week my lesbian friend, a 275 pound butch woman was locked in a stairwell and beaten up by three men at her job, just for looking less than feminine.She's a good fighter, but when you are gang jumped, there's no chance.

Jobs here get away with this as "dress code policy".
09/22/2009
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
Your poll fails to cover having transgendered acquaintances who are not really friends, or assuming that there are transgendered people around that you haven't even noticed as such -- it definitely seems like the kind of thing I'd fail to notice entirely unless someone told me.
09/22/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
Your poll fails to cover having transgendered acquaintances who are not really friends, or assuming that there are transgendered people around that you haven't even noticed as such -- it definitely seems like the kind of thing I'd fail to ... more
Another thing that wasn't added in the poll was knowledge and education of the transgender community without having any relation to or any affiliation with the transgender community.
09/22/2009
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
"I know of transgendered people, but I don't know them personally" was meant to cover acquaintances who are not really friends. It probably could have been worded better, but alas, I am not perfect.

The answer "I don't know any transgendered people" surely includes the fact that some people don't realize that there are transgendered people in their lives. That could very well be why some people have chosen that answer. I'm not sure how you purpose to ask "are there transgendered people around you that you've failed to notice"

This poll, as I stated in the original question, was to find out whether people here on EF know transgendered people, and what, if any, level of relationship they may have with same. My intention was to allow transgendered people and those who care for them to see that they are not alone. It was not meant to ask familiarity with KNOWLEDGE of the transgendered community. Maybe someone should start a poll or discussion about that.

I'm extremely pleased with the overall tone in the responses to this poll. It seems there have been opportunities for people to share experiences and knowledge that others seem to appreciate. I hope that more contributors share their knowledge and experiences so that others, including non-contributors, can possibly find at least a little bit of acceptance.
09/23/2009
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
I'm confused. Some of you are using transgender in place of transsexual which is making me not sure of the question being asked. I have three transsexual relatives: an aunt, an uncle and a cousin. I also have several close friends that are trans and have dated a trans male. However, I don't know if this makes me "familiar" with the "transgendered community". It just makes me familiar with those people, who don't represent all of the entire trans community anymore than my black friends represent the entire black community.

Basically this question and poll confuses me and even irritates me a little.
09/23/2009
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I'm confused. Some of you are using transgender in place of transsexual which is making me not sure of the question being asked. I have three transsexual relatives: an aunt, an uncle and a cousin. I also have several close friends that are trans ... more
Many "trans" people I know use the term "transgender" and "transsexual" interchangeably. (I realize this is not technically correct.) Some people just use the prefix "trans" to include both "transgender" and "transsexual." For example, when you used the term "trans" there was no real indication to which type of transitioned person you were speaking.

Again, I will restate my intention of starting this poll was to allow transgendered people and those who care for them to see that they are not alone. I certainly did not imply that knowing a trans person means that anyone is familiar with the ENTIRE trans community.

Thank you for explaining why you don't understand the question. Maybe you could elaborate on your experiences with "trans" people instead of picking apart the word choices of the question. This could be an opportunity for you to educate us on why you believe "transgendered" and "transsexual" should not be interchangeable.

It would be nice to see this discussion continue on a positive note - especially when there have been so many posts supporting and explaining something that is not "mainstream" in the lives of many of us.

I am, quite frankly, floored that you and others have decided to tear apart my word choices on a discussion that has been going on for months and appears to have been such a valuable source of support and information to some.
09/23/2009
Contributor: deceased deceased
I think it was great that Happy Lady brought up the subject of Trans awareness. (I use trans as an umbrella term)
09/23/2009
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Many "trans" people I know use the term "transgender" and "transsexual" interchangeably. (I realize this is not technically correct.) Some people just use the prefix "trans" to include both ... more
I would definitely encourage you to revisit my comment. I wasn't "tear[ing] apart" anything, I was just saying that that kind of terminology can be confusing and obscuring. If the aim here is to "educate" then we should be careful with the terms we choose.

Transgender and transsexual simply do not denote the same thing. Gender and sex are completely different notions.

Also, I think I was just a little irritated by what the thread turned into. Basically everyone is just listing off all the trans people they know. How is that illuminating or "educational"? It sounds more like people trying to prove how "progressive" they are instead of talking about something substantial. Similarly, if I saw a thread that sound "how familiar are you with the black community?" and people posted with things like "well my neighbor is black and they seem pretty nice! I think it's really brave to be black!" I would have to roll my eyes.

I don't say these things out of malice, I say them because if the purpose of this thread is really to educate then let's educate. Let's talk about real issues: affordable top and bottom surgeries, more legal protection for transitioning persons at work, cissexual privilege, etc. Let's not pat ourselves on the back for all the trans people we know, because that's not progress to me.
09/24/2009
Contributor: Red Red
Happy Lady's original query in this thread begins:

"After my recent forum post asking for assistance in writing reviews involving my transgendered partner, I wondered how many Eden participants actually know a transgendered person - and if so, how."

If that scope isn't cutting it for you, perhaps just starting a fresh thread discussing these finer issues would be appropriate.
09/24/2009
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
Happy Lady's original query in this thread begins:

"After my recent forum post asking for assistance in writing reviews involving my transgendered partner, I wondered how many Eden participants actually know a transgendered person - ... more
Thank you, Red. This has been a wonderful thread for those of us who are or are the families and friends of trans people to talk about what we've faced, and give each other support and encouragement. It means a lot to be able to talk to other people in similar positions, even if we're not talking about how to change the world. When you or your family is going through something as emotionally intense as this, moral support is always a boon.

There was no need to question the choice of wording for the poll: most of the "missing" options were missing because they weren't part of the issue at hand. It is, quite simply, do you personally know any transpeople. She wasn't trying to insult you if you don't. She was in no way belittling you for not "knowingly" knowing a transperson. She was trying to show us all how many of us (trans and the friends and family of trans) there really are in this community.

It's been heartwarming. Why does it have to be anything more than that? Why does it have to be a crusade?
09/24/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I would definitely encourage you to revisit my comment. I wasn't "tear[ing] apart" anything, I was just saying that that kind of terminology can be confusing and obscuring. If the aim here is to "educate" then we should be ... more
I agree with you.
09/24/2009
Contributor: Epiphora Epiphora
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
Thank you, Red. This has been a wonderful thread for those of us who are or are the families and friends of trans people to talk about what we've faced, and give each other support and encouragement. It means a lot to be able to talk to other ... more
Completely agree.
09/24/2009
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Again, I hope everyone can see that my comments were not meant to be offensive. Happy Lady responded to me saying that this thread was a source of "support and information". I'm coming with information and the perspective of a cissexual person that has grown up with and continues to live her life very close to many trans people.

I found this thread well-intentioned but also very alienating and "othering" toward trans people. It offended me and I tried to express that intelligently without letting my emotions get the best of me. If I did offend someone, I apologize. The original poster also encouraged me to "educate" on why I took issue with the word choices, which I tried to do. She said this thread was acting as a source of "support and information" and so I think that my responses fit that purpose and are not off topic.

I don't think it's the place of cissexual people to sit around defining trans-ness for trans people. That was the point though. That was what I was trying to communicate. I also don't think we need to mystify trans people and their experiences. Trans people are just people. They face a unique set of challenges, but we ALL face unique sets of challenges. When the original poster asked me to "elaborate on [my] experiences" with trans people I find that a very strange question. My experiences with trans people are not fundamentally different than my experiences with cis people.
09/24/2009
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Again, I hope everyone can see that my comments were not meant to be offensive. Happy Lady responded to me saying that this thread was a source of "support and information". I'm coming with information and the perspective of a cissexual ... more
I also think we should listen to the people that are on this thread that ARE trans and listen to their caveats because they know more than cis people about trans issues (obviously). I was surprised that Sir's comments weren't paid more heed since he actually IS trans. That was another thing that made me feel like cis people were just kind of (for a lack of a better term) "bragging" about how progressive they were. Again, I want to say that this is not meant to start drama. Since everyone on this thread has expressed that trans issues are important to them, hopefully we are all equally committed to dealing with our cis privilege and checking it. We're all human, and I know that I do it for myself on a daily basis.
09/24/2009
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
These anonymous votes are lost on me cause I always talk about what I picked. Lol

My best friend in high school was MtF and we used to go shopping together and help each other with our makeup. The best was going boy hunting and to gay clubs with him (He identified male, just liked dressing like a girl). We had so much fun.

I think my favorite MtF friend, though, was someone I met at a bowling alley later on. We met because my bf (at the time) asked her for her number. She came around a few weeks later dressed as a man and told me. Then she told my bf.

Oddly enough, he laughed it off with the rest of us and turned Monique down politely. And we were all fast friends after that. I was impressed.
09/25/2009