What, if any, is your level of familiarity with the transgendered community?

MR. P SPOT MR. P SPOT
I am a srtaight male with a wife,but if I were single it would not bother me at all to date or fall in love with a transgender. I think anyone that finds someone that loves them and they also love the other person for whatever they may or may not be is just fine.

On the physical end you would get the best of all worlds in a sexual way and I know I enjoy vibrators/dildos fucking my ass by my wife so why not by my transgender spouse who would love me with there dick or our dildo's/vibrators. Even the ability to just try oral sex and taste come from you spouse and still have a vagina of sorts to lick and fuck would not be so bad in my mind. It does look good on the videos.

I think you would also be able to really talk about anything without grossing out your lover would be easier in a relationship with a transgender. Just my opinion and I say live and let live.
11/12/2009
deceased deceased
Quote:
Originally posted by MR. P SPOT
I am a srtaight male with a wife,but if I were single it would not bother me at all to date or fall in love with a transgender. I think anyone that finds someone that loves them and they also love the other person for whatever they may or may not be ... More
Transgenderism is not just about sex. That's like saying heterosexuality is so cool because you can fuck them 18 ways till Sunday.
11/28/2009
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by MR. P SPOT
I am a srtaight male with a wife,but if I were single it would not bother me at all to date or fall in love with a transgender. I think anyone that finds someone that loves them and they also love the other person for whatever they may or may not be ... More
1.) Not "a transgender". Just like I am not "a tall" or "a skinny". Transgendered modifies a noun, as in "a transgendered man". It's been mentioned several times in this thread already, so please make a note of it.
2.) Trans people aren't "the best of both worlds". In fact, this is one of the most common and most offensive notions about trans people. Trans people are not, as a rule (meaning unless otherwise specified) BOTH genders. There are some trans folks that will say this, but to project this third gender thing onto trans people is very disrespectful. Generally speaking most trans people will tell you that they are ONE gender. Trans people are simply people that have to go through the uncomfortable process of claiming their rightful gender because at birth they were assigned gender incorrectly. They are not necessarily magical, special unicorns that combine "the best of both worlds" for your benefit.
3.) I think you may actually be confusing transgender and intersex. I would do a quick Google of the terms to make sure you are using the terms you mean to be in order to avoid confusion or hurt feelings.
4.) Your idea that you could saying "anything without grossing out" a trans person is pretty awful and I would really encourage you to look at it. Why do you assume that trans people (or intersex) would be somehow harder to "gross out"? Is it because you imagine that they are the weirdest of the weird, and therefore impossible to weird out? Or the grossest of the gross, and therefore impossible to gross out? I don't know what your thought process was when you said that but again I would really encourage you to take a closer look at that so that you won't offend more people in the future.
11/30/2009
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
I agree with SL&P, you really need to go do a little research Mr. P Spot. I know you were trying to be helpful and all, but in your ignorance you said some very hurtful and offensive things.

On another note, I just wanted to tell you all that this weekend, my dad told his parents that he's transgendered. They took it really well, especially given their very conservative background, so we're all happy and relieved. We haven't yet told them that he has started the transition from man to woman; we're taking baby steps, letting them get used to the idea, before we dump everything on them. It would crush my dad to lose his parents; we were afraid we'd never be able to tell them at all. So basically, I wanted to let you all know that things are going really, really well so far. If his parents from the deep south can learn to accept a transgendered child, then there's hope that the rest of the world may someday, too. ^__^
11/30/2009
oliverHyde oliverHyde
Thank you Luscious, SL&P, and Misha's Amusements for educating! It's not always easy and it makes a huge difference.

I recently passed up an opportunity for education. My mother and I had been talking about pregnancy and although I really want a baby I really don't want to carry it because of the way it would very visually gender me in a way I can't bind. I not-so-subtly mentioned a friend I had who didn't want to get pregnant because they're genderqueer and mom said, "oh, well then they should get pregnant because it might fix it!". *sigh*

I'm not sure I'm up to the task of educating her and it made me realize just how valuable the folks who do educate are.

keep up the good work!
11/30/2009
Heather Heather
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
1.) Not "a transgender". Just like I am not "a tall" or "a skinny". Transgendered modifies a noun, as in "a transgendered man". It's been mentioned several times in this thread already, so please make a ... More
Help me out on this, I'm lost. Intersex, is being born with one sex externally and the other internally? Trans people are born a sex externally but feel internally they are not born the correct sex?
11/30/2009
Judy Cole Judy Cole
Transgendered and intersexed voices are some of the most underserved on the Internet and in the media in general. That said, if you are someone—or know of someone—adept at writing from this unique perspective, feel free to contact us at SexIs@edenfantasys.com . We are always on the lookout for talented storytellers.
11/30/2009
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Heather
Help me out on this, I'm lost. Intersex, is being born with one sex externally and the other internally? Trans people are born a sex externally but feel internally they are not born the correct sex?
"Intersexuality refers to intermediate or atypical combinations of physical features that usually distinguish male from female." They aren't completely "male" or "female" in genitalia, secondary sexual characteristics, genetics, or possibly other factors. The wikipedia article on Intersex would be a decent place to start: link

Transgendered people are generally born unambiguously with one of the polar sexes (male or female), but feel that they truly belong to another sex.

(These were both oversimplifications, because they are very complex issues. They are meant as a quick explanation of what the difference is between intersexed individuals and transgendered individuals.)
11/30/2009
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Heather
Help me out on this, I'm lost. Intersex, is being born with one sex externally and the other internally? Trans people are born a sex externally but feel internally they are not born the correct sex?
And thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for asking instead of assuming! We need more of that in the world, so many people get hurt when people assume they know things.
11/30/2009
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
"Intersexuality refers to intermediate or atypical combinations of physical features that usually distinguish male from female." They aren't completely "male" or "female" in genitalia, secondary sexual ... More
What you said is correct, but there are rare cases where the person might actually have completely one or the other in genitalia (generally though, intersex cases are what you referred to). Intersex people may be born without ambiguous genitalia that simply do not coincide with chromosomal and hormonal physical traits.

Also, thank you Sex, Lies & Pre-Law. I saw that person's post but decided to not bother to respond to it because I was too offended and did not want to say anything that might have been out of line.

Earthquakepixie: I had to educate my entire family, actually (which only consists of parents and siblings). My parents knew of the trans- community, but had never prepared for whether they would have a child who was trans-. They thought of homosexuality, but because transgendered individuals are not in our family's tree, they never assumed. They are still often times ignorant and not understanding, referring to the past as if I was a different person from who I am now (though I have been diagnosed with G.I.D. since I was twelve). I have had my gender used against me when they were angry with me, and my sibling has said things purposely to hurt me because they knew that it would. Truly though, since I'm an adult now, it doesn't bother me. It did when I was young, but now, it isn't something that even crosses my mind. Looking for acceptance from non-accepting people is a useless cause most times, and I am sorry to hear that your parent said that to you.
11/30/2009
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by oliverHyde
Thank you Luscious, SL&P, and Misha's Amusements for educating! It's not always easy and it makes a huge difference.

I recently passed up an opportunity for education. My mother and I had been talking about pregnancy and although ... More
Oh man, a bunch of friends and I were talking about this issue a while ago when that trans guy was suddenly all over the new for birthing his own child. Tricky territory. It sucks that such huge choices like pregnancy are often 'made for' people that feel their options limited due to their trans status.

But yeah, it's also easy for me to educate because I'm cis; it's not as painful or personal in many ways. No one should sacrifice their mental/emotional health to educate someone else. Ultimately each person's education is their own responsibility and not that of already marginalized persons.

Good luck with your conundrum concerning having children of your own. I have faith that you will find a resolution
11/30/2009
deceased deceased
There are trans people out there who totally pass. I don't look like an effeminate male or a butch dyke or gay, or even like someone who could have been a woman. I am an average sized height, very athletically built middle aged man who looks like a man. Big feet, big wrists, muscles, average guy clothing. I'm not bisexual. I'm probabley more on the sexually conservative side. I am just as confused by women as the rest of the straight guys are. I don't understand all the conversation about "Bath and Bodyworks" or the hype about finally having a Victoria's secret in the mall or why a woman needs more than one purse or pair of shoes. But I understand the lure of really fine tools and how to renovate anything after a trip to Home Depot.

Trans people are not all alike. Its more of a mind/gender identification concept than anything to do with sexuality. It so does not mean we are going to be bisexual or drag queen looking or effeminate or open to anything sexually.

And the"pregnant man" grew up here. He had his own set of issues. He hated his dad and idolized his mom. He was till he transitioned, the typical Filipina beauty padgent queen. He eventually left the island because doctors will not perform top surgeries on transgender people. Its because it does not pay, number one, number two, there are so few that they are invisible in Hawaii's culture, and three, our doctors really are not skilled in things that are not day to day general surgery. Forget lung transplants,etc. We don't even have enough beds or doctors for those in great need. Even on the big Island of Hawaii, there is only 1 orthopedic surgeon.

Men don't have babies, women have babies. Maybe this is old fashioned thinking, maybe its a reaction to feeling "someone is exploiting us." We are not freaks or freaks of nature ass a whole. Just like there are cisgender freaks, there are transperson freaks. Not everyone is gender fluid. Some transmen and women are completely undetectable in society.
11/30/2009
Serendipity Serendipity
Quote:
Originally posted by stuck in the middle
I'm transgenderd.Actualy diagnosed as TS a few years ago and am finaly looking at transition.I found out last week through a diversity meeting for my company that we not only support but encourage diversity including transgender.I've ... More
So happy for you that you have found acceptance at work
12/20/2009
Serendipity Serendipity
This has been a good read; thank you to everyone that contributed actual facts or links to find solid information. Thank you also to those that shared personal stories.

There is a lot of educating that needs to happen in general. I identify as queer and most of my friends are queer. Many are trans and many are claiming their own identities as they see fit; female born and remaining female bodied but identify as male, or FtM and on hormones with breast reduction surgery but don't identify as male or female.

It is not up to me or anyone to tell another who they are and I am so thankful for those that educate us gently. I still fumble at times and have much to learn. More often when I talk about another person, I am beginning to refer to that one person as "they" rather than "he" or "she". It isn't a perfect fit but it honors those of my friends that do not fit the gender binary of masculine or feminine.
12/20/2009
deceased deceased
For transgender in the workplace issues and rights:

link
12/21/2009
deceased deceased
For transgender health issues and education:


link
12/21/2009
deceased deceased
Gender Identity 101 (good site)


link
12/21/2009
deceased deceased
Trans-health .com because trans people have unique health issues

link
12/21/2009
deceased deceased
link


Zhanna Wilde's personal page. She has many videos on Youtube which have great deal of informative documentaries. Zhanna is a great artist, poet and musician from Kiev, Ukraine. She was born a man and made a fruitful transition and now lives in Israel but has been a great mentor to the international trans community. She is also on Facebook. She's remarkable, courageous and full of energy. She also mamged to transition in Russia/Ukraine before homosexuality and transgenderism was decriminilized. People are still ostracized from varying from the norm in all areas of what used to be known as USSR. Even though the former Soviet Union is now many countries that are free and democratic (and even less socialist than US) many people have been publicly beaten for not assuming cookie cutter gender roles. Even the first Russian Pride Parade last year had to have violence stop by the police.
12/21/2009
Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
I live in a place, where there are not very many transgendered people. (I' have not seen one up close...)

If I saw one, I would treat them how they deserve to be treated. How they want to be treated, and that is like any other person. If a man wants to be a women, so be it, good for him/her. Its none of my business really.

If you gotta dream follow it.
12/25/2009
aaronlt aaronlt
Just to let you know, I'm trans, too. I'm a pre-HRT, pre-op FTM. I've been out for at least five years (coming up on six) and I'm 20. I plan to go the whole way through transitioning, and what with the good news of the FoxL2 gene, it could be easier for transsexuals to transition in the future (and if it's successful, no more shots and pills for the rest of our lives).

So, hey, I ended up bumping into this topic because I'm looking for things that will be useful with me being sexually active. I'm glad to see there are a crapton of us out there and on this site. I don't feel, eh, a little creepy for it.

Yeah, nine months late, but hey, even if someone thinks they don't know any transgender people, they probably do. We're everywhere, really.
12/29/2009
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by aaronlt
Just to let you know, I'm trans, too. I'm a pre-HRT, pre-op FTM. I've been out for at least five years (coming up on six) and I'm 20. I plan to go the whole way through transitioning, and what with the good news of the FoxL2 gene, it ... More
There are a good handful of really knowledgeable reviewers here that share your gender history and write from a trans perspective. Gabe has written some great stuff including articles for SexIs, and if you scroll back through the thread you'll see other reviewers commenting as well. Hopefully those reviews will be helpful for you!
12/29/2009
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by aaronlt
Just to let you know, I'm trans, too. I'm a pre-HRT, pre-op FTM. I've been out for at least five years (coming up on six) and I'm 20. I plan to go the whole way through transitioning, and what with the good news of the FoxL2 gene, it ... More
Specifially, this is an [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/body/toys-boys-trans-men-buyer/|awesome article} for trans men that are doing some shopping on this site.
12/29/2009
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Specifially, this is an [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/body/toys-boys-trans-men-buyer/|awesome article} for trans men that are doing some shopping on this site.
*Follow this link...sorry the last one didn't work!
12/29/2009
BlessedRaven BlessedRaven
An ex boyfriend I had felt he was a woman inside and considered surgery, but decided it was to inhuman currently. It kinda bothered me in the end because I'm straight and I wouldn't have been okay with a lesbian relationship later in life.
02/16/2010
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by BlessedRaven
An ex boyfriend I had felt he was a woman inside and considered surgery, but decided it was to inhuman currently. It kinda bothered me in the end because I'm straight and I wouldn't have been okay with a lesbian relationship later in life.
My mother's going through that struggle right now as my dad transitions. It's very hard for a straight person to come to terms with their heterosexual relationship changing to a homosexual relationship. Not everyone can or wants to deal with this.

I'm not sure I understood one thing you said, though. What did you mean by deciding that "it was too inhuman currently?" What are you referring to, the quality of the current surgeries? It was unclear from the way you worded it, and I don't want to assume incorrectly.
02/16/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
What you said is correct, but there are rare cases where the person might actually have completely one or the other in genitalia (generally though, intersex cases are what you referred to). Intersex people may be born without ambiguous genitalia ... More
Sounds fairly typical of how family can act towards each other Sir. In my family the idea that one would ever have children and not be married, get divorced or have more than one life partner is so foreign that my cousin, sister and I are relatively outcast in one form or another. My Aunt denies her attraction preference for women because of this and has lived a fairly miserable life. We all know she is a lesbian at heart, and one on one she will admit it but she MUST please her Mother who still calls her 'perfect angel'. She's admitted to feeling that she should have been born male, that she feels male on the inside. It's sad to see but I have been repeatedly told by my parents it's not my concern and reluctantly I had to let it go.

My life partner has been called my 'thing' in Canada, I could write reams about what they call my husband. All of it is because they know the easiest and most painful ways to cut and hurt. I know they love me but my ability to be thick skinned ran out long ago.

I have had to go to a place where I no longer attempt to educate my family about my religious choices, my child rearing practices, my sexuality or their sexuality. They have proven they will take what I say and use it against me as soon as they can. All this from the people that are supposed to want to see you happy and love you!

I hope you have found a happy medium with your family Sir and Earthquake Pixie, as for me I don't hold much hope of ever finding stable ground let alone compromise with mine.
02/17/2010
LucyLemonade LucyLemonade
I am the wive of a transwoman. We have been married for less than a year and recently my partner has conveyed her desire to transition to living as a female.

I have to say it will be interesting to go from being outwardly heterosexual to being viewed as a lesbian by others. But luckily I am bisexual and so I have no issues and have begun to embrace being a "new lesbian" and enjoy now referring to my husband as my wife. Of course those around me aren't finding it as easy.

One book I just started reading is "She's Not the Man I Married" by Helen Boyd, I haven't gotten through it enough to give a good review, but it is helping me to process the change.
03/03/2010
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by LucyLemonade
I am the wive of a transwoman. We have been married for less than a year and recently my partner has conveyed her desire to transition to living as a female.

I have to say it will be interesting to go from being outwardly heterosexual to ... More
I'm glad that the two of you have found yourselves able to work through this together with love. It's never easy. Thanks for the book reference, I'm going to have to go find that one and pass it on!
03/03/2010
Splendwhore Splendwhore
My lover is transitioning to become male!

My sister's lover also claims to be FTM transgendered.
03/03/2010
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