Would you stay with a partner if they decided to go through with a gender changing surgery?

Contributor: jr2012 jr2012
theoretically, if this happened with my current SO, I would stay with him, no question. I love him so much more than just for sexual reasons, and would be willing to accept a decision that obviously meant a lot to him. I'm not saying it would be easy, but I would do it.
10/19/2012
Contributor: I Am Sherlocked I Am Sherlocked
For me personally, I like to blind myself from biological sex. Not that I don't appreciate it, or anything like that- but I like seeing people for who they are, by pure personality. So that being said, I would stay with and fully support my partner if they decided to go through with such a surgery.
12/11/2012
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
I think there are a ton of variables to discuss, but I would definitely consider staying with my wife if she made this decision and would hope to, but there would be a lot of questions to answer.
12/11/2012
Contributor: Supervixen Supervixen
No--I'm attracted to men, and for a lot of us, sex is a part of who we are. If someone underwent that drastic of a change, I would respectfully be on my way, because they would no longer be the person I fell in love with anymore...and no longer a man. We might be able to remain close and be friends depending on the circumstances, but it would not work out as a romantic or sexual relationship.
12/25/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
If someone broke up with someone because they got a gender reassignment surgery, that person is an asshole, no questions asked. I would never want anyone to feel that they could not tell me about questioning their gender, or that they couldn't get a gender reassignment surgery because of me. It is their body and whatever they want or need is fine with me and they don't need my approval.
12/26/2012
Contributor: SailorJulyxo SailorJulyxo
I was 13 when my wife and I became best friends, 14 when we started dating. We knew we were soul mates, and so very nervously, my than girlfriend who was just a teenager herself told me she was transgender. I accepted her immediately, which she didn't think I would do, and here we are almost 10 years later, married for five of them! We're both on disability, and neither of us has a lot coming in, so she hasn't been able to go on hormones quite yet, nor have surgery. But I am with her every step of the way. <3
12/26/2012
Contributor: Supervixen Supervixen
Quote:
Originally posted by novanilla
If someone broke up with someone because they got a gender reassignment surgery, that person is an asshole, no questions asked. I would never want anyone to feel that they could not tell me about questioning their gender, or that they couldn't ... more
Really? If someone decides that they don't want to be with a person after a sex change, that person is an asshole? But you seem to be making two different statements: A) A person who breaks up with someone for undergoing drastic changes that will change them from a man to a woman or a woman to a man is an asshole (Does my heterosexuality make me an asshole? What if I was a lesbian and I didn't want my partner to become a man? Would my homosexuality make me a villain?), and B)The person getting the surgery won't undergo the procedure without their partner being okay with it, and that is somehow the fault of the partner who doesn't want their partner to suddenly be a different person.

You know what? Not everyone is gender queer. I would never stop someone from undergoing such a procedure; in fact, if that's what they want, I'd support them and encourage them do it. But I'd break up with them, because I know what I want, and I can't force myself to be anything but boring old, plain hetero, and I don't need to apologize for it any more than someone who identifies as queer needs to try to force themselves to conform to being straight and deny what they want and who they are.
12/26/2012
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by lzbncrckhead
i was just wondering how many people could handle the changes
I'd support anyone I liked, no matter what.
12/26/2012
Contributor: fizzygato fizzygato
Absolutely

I would 100% stay with them if they had bottom surgery (assuming that's what you mean).

If they had top surgery or hormones I might feel jealous of them/ potentially need space to deal with my own dysphoria issues, but that also depends.
01/08/2013
Contributor: kkybf kkybf
I'm pansexual, so gender doesn't really matter to me.
01/08/2013
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
I wouldn't leave him for being a her
01/08/2013
Contributor: Mediumsizedman Mediumsizedman
Quote:
Originally posted by novanilla
If someone broke up with someone because they got a gender reassignment surgery, that person is an asshole, no questions asked. I would never want anyone to feel that they could not tell me about questioning their gender, or that they couldn't ... more
Sorry a break up does not imply that they don't still love or care about that person. Some people just are not attracted to certain sexes/genders and even love and care for a person can't change that. It doesn't make them an asshole. No one is obligated to have sex or a relationship with anyone else.
01/08/2013
Contributor: smlove smlove
Quote:
Originally posted by lzbncrckhead
i was just wondering how many people could handle the changes
It can be hard, and it shouldn't be "if you don't stay with them, it means you're a terrible person and don't love them enough."
I have no problem with my wife as I've known her only as her.
I have a hard time with pronouns if I knew the person previously. I knew this girl in HS, but later met her as him. I still get the pronouns mixed up with him.
my wife has had an orchiectomy, but not the vaginaplasty. she's still not 100% sure that's what she wants. I just want her to be happy. and I love her.
I think the harder part to deal with is the identity change, not the genitals. to me, bits are bits, no matter whose they are.
01/10/2013
Contributor: Curvy Curvy
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr. & Mrs. Peg
I fell in love with my wife, not her pussy. If it makes her happy to change her gender, then that is what is important. (I do love her pussy....but I am not in love with it. )
Cheers for a fabulous response!!!!
01/10/2013
Contributor: Schattenstern Schattenstern
When I recently came out to my cousin she asked how my girlfriend deals with it. I told my cousin my girlfriend is pansexual so it doesn't really matter, but my cousin still didn't understand. I got super upset with my cousin when she said that she wouldn't stay with her HUSBAND if he realized he was transgender some day. :/ My cousin met this guy and got married in less time than I've been dating my girlfriend and she questions MY relationship? gashgladgahaeh
01/11/2013
Contributor: lingeron lingeron
Quote:
Originally posted by jesseftm
Oh man, I hate this thread so much I can't even handle it. If you're dating someone they probably don't want you to "deal with it" or "ignore it" if and when they decide to transition. Are you kidding? Can you imagine ... more
Totally agree. I am dating a transmasculine genderqueer dude who dated a straight man for 5 years. Eventually, their relationship broke down from the strain. If it's that hard to affirm your own partner's gender identity, then the relationship is probably not going to work.
01/14/2013
Contributor: Twelve Twelve
I feel like answering this question is sort of cheating, since my boyfriend and I are both trans*, and sort of came out in support of each other. Whoops.

But generally, I don't actually understand heteronormative society, and the loose grasp on the gender binary I still maintain is pretty much entirely supported by my personal bouts of dysphoria?? So, you know. Whatever makes them happy, as long as they're honest and earnest. A person's self is private, and that is what you love, in the mutual honor of them sharing themselves with you as you share yourself with them.

Ideally, at least.
03/12/2013
Contributor: LoganAshlee. LoganAshlee.
My ex broke up with me as soon as I said I wanted to experiment and present as male. Nevermind!
03/15/2013
Contributor: surreptitious surreptitious
Quote:
Originally posted by lzbncrckhead
i was just wondering how many people could handle the changes
If my partner decided to change his gender, that would be a radical personality shift. If he chose to become a woman, that would be so very, very out of character that I'm not sure that we'd even get along anymore by that point.
03/15/2013
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
My partner is trans. If for some reason she would change her mind and switch "back?" to male, that would not matter to me. I love her for the person she is, that would not change.
03/15/2013