Dear Contributors

Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
(This is posted under this category because I don't see a place for it otherwise)

Dear NEW Contributors,

Welcome to the community. My experiences with EdenFantasys have been very good. I came looking for a sex toy and found not only a sex toy, but wide diversity of people interested in sex - like me! I started reading the forums, and began learning about lots of different types of orientations, genders, uses of toys, relationships, and more. The forums opened my eyes to words and phrases I had never heard, and my overall knowledge of sexual interactions greatly increased.

If you have not spent much time doing so, you should go read forum posts/ reviews/profiles of people who are different than you in gender and/or sexual orientation. You will find a wide variety of contributors here at Eden and it will expand your knowledge. I think you will also see the following common themes here at Eden:

1. There is no such thing as "normal" when it comes to sex, love, gender, orientation, or anything really. As a community, we try to ensure that everyone knows that and are careful to not use the word "normal" in reference to a sexual act. After all, what is "normal sex" to me and what is "normal sex" to you could be entirely different acts.

2. We have the option of writing in our gender and sexual orientation on our profiles. This is so that we may describe ourselves with words WE pick - rather than being forced to check a box. There are many many MANY contributors who do have neither "male or female" listed as a gender nor "straight, gay, lesbian, bi" as an orientation. This is another way the EdenFantasys company allows us to feel comfortable being ourselves.

I am speaking only for me when I say the following:

A. Please refrain from asking the contributors (via asking Eden) to designate our genders/orientations with some symbol, or "none of the above" on our reviews. (This seems to keep being asked by several people lately.) This information is easily accessible on our contributor profiles. If you don't understand a word that is given as an answer to "gender" or "orientation", just look it up. Wiki is pretty good at giving descriptions.

B. If you don't understand a toy category/use/function, just ask. I'm willing to bet my next free toy that no contributor will be offended if you ask about a reviewed product. There are lots of uses for sex toys that you may never even considered. Please don't make review comments/forum posts in which you judge the way a toy is used as "incorrect" or "dishonest."

I'm asking this of you because whatever you write here is for all of us to see, and, you are unwittingly excluding very good people with some of your statements.



Dear OLD Contributors (...lol...)
When you consider voting for new advanced level contributors, please take the time to see if they are excluding in their reviews/comments/forum posts. We really don't need that here. Although I would hope such excluding behavior will slow down after this post.
04/14/2009
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Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I'm totally anti-symbol/checkbox/c lutter.

Mostly because I think it's the epitome of laziness to expect everything to be put right there in front of you with no effort required on your part - despite asking very busy staff to reconfigure the whole bloody site for your convenience.

I also loathe having to choose someone else's descriptors to describe myself and my relationship.

And I REALLY dislike the idea of this turning into some sort of crazy MySpace for sex toys. *shudder*
04/14/2009
That Weird Guy That Weird Guy
I don't even know my orientations correct name/term...not sure it really matters I'd still be the same.. So if they added one to pick I'd be lost...
04/14/2009
Sleeping Dreamer Sleeping Dreamer
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I'm totally anti-symbol/checkbox/c lutter.

Mostly because I think it's the epitome of laziness to expect everything to be put right there in front of you with no effort required on your part - despite asking very busy staff to ... More
I'm with you on that. I used to enjoy networking sites years ago because I could find old friends... but it's an idea that becomes stale or a place where I notice people group together and get cliquey. The last thing we want to do here is exclude contributors. This is a welcoming community and we need to remain sex positive because there are people from all walks of life here... and I can't even limit myself to saying people because we may have a few furries browsing the site as well, etc.

By putting more information on our profile it ultimately reduces the amount of contact we have with our contributors. If someone is curious about me than please read my reviews, my blog, and by all means- EMAIL ME!!! I'd love to receive an email asking me questions about myself or clarification on terms I used on my reviews as it encourages connections to be made between reviewers and reviewers/customers.
04/14/2009
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Sleeping Dreamer
I'm with you on that. I used to enjoy networking sites years ago because I could find old friends... but it's an idea that becomes stale or a place where I notice people group together and get cliquey. The last thing we want to do here is ... More
Excellent points made by all - especially the advice to just simply look, learn and ask.

Some suggestions and requests we get are helpful - and others are born out of desire to make our site just like all the others that some users frequent...and we're not trying to be a dating site or a card catalog of identities. This is a community and our site is part sex toy retailer, part information resource. We love our diversity. We don't want to dumb it down.

Please look around at all of the features, read up on the forums, articles on SexIs, reviews on toys, guidelines on the programs, contributor profiles...and when in doubt, just ask. We're a welcoming group here and if you ask respectfully, you'll get a lot of help and information from most of our contributors.

*These are my people*

Hugs,
your loving Review Program Manager (aka the Peacekeeper)
04/14/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
(This is posted under this category because I don't see a place for it otherwise)

Dear NEW Contributors,

Welcome to the community. My experiences with EdenFantasys have been very good. I came looking for a sex toy and found not only ... More
Good post! One of the most important things in a community like this is open-mindedness... However, a truly open mind takes a lot of care and self-consciousness to nurture. I remember when I was in high school, I thought I was the most sexually liberal person around (in terms of being open-minded towards different sexual orientations, practices, etc.). Now I look back on that younger self and cringe. There was so much that I thought was "wrong" back then that I now know are just more, perfectly acceptable, personal choices.

I don't think we should necessarily shun anyone for slipping once in a while. Of course, if a reviewer shows a scary trend towards close-mindedness and is unwilling to respond to (for the lack of a better word) reprimand and guidance in the right direction, then it's a different story altogether.
04/14/2009
Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
Good post! One of the most important things in a community like this is open-mindedness... However, a truly open mind takes a lot of care and self-consciousness to nurture. I remember when I was in high school, I thought I was the most sexually ... More
Thank you.


I am not directing this post to any particular person/post/comment, etc. This is more of a heads-up on the type of community we really are in light of several recent word choices by more than a couple of people.

Shunning is certainly not within anything I would suggest. In fact, when I read a certain comment in a certain review, I messaged the reviewer with my concerns. That reviewer thanked me for giving the heads up.

I hope that people read this and, instead of feeling bad or like they have been reprimanded, they realize the wealth of information available here and, as Pink so stated: Look, learn, ask before they make comments/posts, etc.
04/15/2009
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Thank you.


I am not directing this post to any particular person/post/comment, etc. This is more of a heads-up on the type of community we really are in light of several recent word choices by more than a couple of people. ... More
Aw ~ very nice handling
04/15/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Thank you.


I am not directing this post to any particular person/post/comment, etc. This is more of a heads-up on the type of community we really are in light of several recent word choices by more than a couple of people. ... More
Oh, you know me--using words to extremes

I understand what you mean completely.
04/15/2009
Rockin' Rockin'
As a new contributor, I have taken to heart all of what I have read so far on this site -- and it has been quite a lot. I've learned a lot about numerous topics so far, and I know I haven't even seen the large majority of the archives in the forum.

I was one of the people suggesting the icons idea that seems to be quite unpopular (see this thread). Please note that I didn't initially suggest any "choices" for gender/orientation, and that there were other qualities that I was actually more interested in that initially spurred me to write that post (experience with certain types of toys). Since there have been numerous replies against such a concept, I will not write further about it.

When I joined, I felt like I should be active in the forums, as it is a way to get into the community, learn about other reviewers, and somewhat improve the rank. It's a little scary for a new community member to voice an opinion or especially suggest something that might get shot down. (Perhaps like a high school student sitting in on a graduate school lecture and raising a hand to ask a question)

I wasn't intending to exclude anyone with my statements, and I apologize if my words and/or concepts were offensive. I've often had to check the "other" choice boxes in forms in life, and have wished for better descriptors myself.

This does feel like reprimand, as Miss Cinnamon said. I hope I haven't offended anyone further with this post.

(This was originally typed after I read Miss Cinnamon's first post, but I refreshed before I published it and read the next three posts before submitting this.)
04/15/2009
Sleeping Dreamer Sleeping Dreamer
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
Good post! One of the most important things in a community like this is open-mindedness... However, a truly open mind takes a lot of care and self-consciousness to nurture. I remember when I was in high school, I thought I was the most sexually ... More
Trust me, every year that goes by you'll look back and cringe, you're only 19 so there will be a lot of cringing to come. I still do that and I'm certain I will until the day I die, whenever that day comes... my guess is sooner rather than later with the amount of alcohol I drink on a daily basis.

This community is incredibly open, however, with large groups of people will be some elitism which rears its ugly head every so often as well as arguments in the forums (let's not rehash) where contributors have ganged up on one another. The last thing we want to do is seperate older members from newer members because in truth, we're all connected and should not be divided... Dildo Lovers Unite!

I don't think we should reprimand anyone here, if anything, we can be a resource for people just discovering all the many facets to sexuality based subjects. If anyone ever has an issue with another reviewer than it's always appropriate to email the contributor. If the email goes unnoticed and they continue to act in ways that are malicious to the positive growth of the community then I hope that person who takes offense would privately email someone at Eden who can handle the situation.

I think this is a great post because it's opening the lines of communication, problems never get resolved unless someone says something. The last thing we want to do here is alienate any members so a discussion is good to have if it remains courteous for all people engaged in it.
04/15/2009
Sammi Sammi
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I'm totally anti-symbol/checkbox/c lutter.

Mostly because I think it's the epitome of laziness to expect everything to be put right there in front of you with no effort required on your part - despite asking very busy staff to ... More
MySpace for sex toys - yikes! I really dislike that too!
04/15/2009
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by Sleeping Dreamer
Trust me, every year that goes by you'll look back and cringe, you're only 19 so there will be a lot of cringing to come. I still do that and I'm certain I will until the day I die, whenever that day comes... my guess is sooner rather ... More
"Dildo Lovers Unite"? What about those who don't use dildos? Huh? Are we excluding them?

j/k! j/k! I fuck wit' you XD

And, yes, I am well aware that even the smartest decision I make today will look like a random act of stupidity a year from now, if not three weeks. * Sigh * The only solution is to take myself less seriously!
04/15/2009
Oggins Oggins
This is a fantastic thread and I thoroughly agree with everything Happy Lady and Sleeping Dreamer have said and I really couldn't have said it better myself. You're both awesome and hopefully your suggestions and advice will be taken to heart by those who are interested in what EF is really all about. Sex positivity and not petty rivalries based on how others perceive you. We don't need that here! This is an open, honest and welcoming community for all who are interested in gaining knowledge from all of its members. "Dildo lovers unite!" Indeed! =)

Just to clarify, this post is not directed toward any person specifically at all! I'm sorry if you may take offense but I'm not trying to reprimand anyone personally. I'm only stating my personal opinion not "You" specifically! =)
04/17/2009
Perish Perish
Read and understood! Agree with everything 100%
04/17/2009
bodymodboy bodymodboy
Read and I give a resounding whoo-hoo! I am a big supporter of self-identification, labels don't entirely fit with what everyone believes in. If Edens opted for the symbol or dropdown menu, it'd limit everything to hetero-centric/cisgend er norms. I thank Eden for that, so much.

Go above the grain!
05/13/2009
Mamastoys Mamastoys
This is a good post and a great community for EVERYONE...being older,I sometimes feel like I have no clue what the discussion is about but I read the posts and have learned a lot. I try to be encouraging to others and not be critical of anyone. Their sexual preference doesn't matter to me and as long as the reviews are thorough and informative, I don't really care who wrote it.
05/13/2009
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Mamastoys
This is a good post and a great community for EVERYONE...being older,I sometimes feel like I have no clue what the discussion is about but I read the posts and have learned a lot. I try to be encouraging to others and not be critical of anyone. ... More
When I first joined this community I was a bit worried about being judged for my sexual preferences. I am very aware that my situation is not "normal" and people have judged me harshly because of all things, I have kids! As if having kids means you MUST conform to some arbitrary standard or risk creating a sociopath! I was accused of that as well...you know how mothers who are openly sexual have kids who kill. I pointed out that the exact wording in the books says "Mothers who have open sex in front of their kids have the potential to cause lasting mental harm" but was shouted down since OF COURSE anyone who has a lover on the side is openly groping them in front of the kiddies!
I have never been talked down too here and even when I was corrected it was done gently and with care to not hurt my feelings. I appreciate that SOOO much! I have learned so much from you all.
I love you guys!....and girls!....and everyone else betwixt and between!
06/10/2009
svalentine;) svalentine;)
07/17/2012
bradav bradav
07/17/2012
svalentine;) svalentine;)
like
07/27/2012
Total posts: 21
Unique posters: 15