#AprilFools - Blow Me

VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
The Leaf Blower

The leaf blower is perfect for that after sex sensation. It blows harder than the average slut. If you find yourself all hot, sweaty, and dripping after hours of mind blowing sex, I highly recommend you add this to your toy collection. It is best used outside, though, unless you want to know what New Orleans looked like after Hurricane Katrina in your bedroom.

The leaf blower is made from lots of plastic. The manufacturers went plastic happy and now we are probably in danger of a low supply of it. It happens. It's got a handle on it so that it is easy to just grab and go. To run, it requires being plugged into an outlet. Plugging it into your partner is not going to work unless you're doing some kind of fucked up potato and light bulb experiment with a horny partner and a leaf blower. You probably just visualized that, didn't you? Pervert.

I wouldn't suggest using it inside because it is extremely noisy. Unless you want your kids to nonchalantly say to their friends when they ask what that noise is that "it's alright. Dad's just blowing mom again." It's totally discreet and the neighbors will think that you just have a recurring problem of leaves in your yard, though they cannot understand why since you do not have a tree on your property.

Oh, and it has a nifty sucking function on it too. It sucks harder than a two dollar whore. It is not for the feint of heart, so be warned. It's super duper oober hardcore and for the super uber advanced players. Beginners be warned.
04/01/2010
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Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
The Leaf Blower

The leaf blower is perfect for that after sex sensation. It blows harder than the average slut. If you find yourself all hot, sweaty, and dripping after hours of mind blowing sex, I highly recommend you add this to your toy ... More
You're so cute. Lol.
04/01/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Oh, and I forgot to mention that you can't really store it next to your bed. Better use the tool shed or that spare bedroom that you never let anyone sleep in.
04/01/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Oh, and I forgot to mention that you can't really store it next to your bed. Better use the tool shed or that spare bedroom that you never let anyone sleep in.
I was just going to ask that! Thank you for the information, and nice review!

But I did have one question: can it be sanitized? If so, how?
04/01/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Rayne Millaray
You're so cute. Lol.
Thanks, love
04/01/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I was just going to ask that! Thank you for the information, and nice review!

But I did have one question: can it be sanitized? If so, how?
Well, you can sanitize it by either dumping it in the pool if you have one or blasting it with the hose after use. Use whatever soap you want. And, ya know, if you make a mess with the soap and water, you can just blow it all away! It's versatile!
04/01/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
Well, you can sanitize it by either dumping it in the pool if you have one or blasting it with the hose after use. Use whatever soap you want. And, ya know, if you make a mess with the soap and water, you can just blow it all away! It's versatile!
Wow, that's great! Thank you for the information!
04/01/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Great review, thanks!
04/01/2010
seaofneptune seaofneptune
That's great! I never though about using a leaf blower in that way before!
04/01/2010
Gary Gary
I am just picturing you trying to use this discreetly under the blankets with with the door closed, and then what it sounds like is going on outside the room. This would be a great gag to pull the next time you stay with relatives.
04/01/2010
SexyTigerX SexyTigerX
GREAT!!!
04/01/2010
00 00
Leaf Blower/Sucker? Funny. Good thing you picked that tool and not something like a chainsaw or weed-eater. Haha.
04/01/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Fantastic review, and thank you for the information on storage. My bedroom already looks as though ta tornado has run through it, so I'm not quite willing to make the jump to Hurricane Katrina just yet
04/01/2010
Sammi Sammi
Love it!
04/01/2010
MuffysPinguLove MuffysPinguLove
I was thinking about buying this product, but I don't know if I can handle it since it's super duper oober hardcore! Thanks for the review!
04/01/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
I told my neighbors I had a leaf blower and I liked using it and they called me a freak! They had no problem with me humping their garden gnome and dating their hand(s) but the leaf blower was where they drew the line. Talk about prejudice and biggotry! I mean just because I like to be blown...does that make me a fallen woman?
04/02/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by 00
Leaf Blower/Sucker? Funny. Good thing you picked that tool and not something like a chainsaw or weed-eater. Haha.
The weed eater would be used for trimming those pesky little hairs down south that don't want to go away EVAR! Seriously. The weed whacker won't whack you off. I was so disappointed when I tried to use it to whack off
04/02/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I told my neighbors I had a leaf blower and I liked using it and they called me a freak! They had no problem with me humping their garden gnome and dating their hand(s) but the leaf blower was where they drew the line. Talk about prejudice and ... More
PFF, no freakin' way. Well, I mean, a leaf blower might make you a "fallen woman" if you're not careful
04/02/2010
phunkyphreak phunkyphreak
blows harder then your average slut!! LMAO
03/25/2011
tigerkate tigerkate
Aw maaannn, I wish I had a big enough apartment for a leaf blower!

DEFINITELY wishlisted!!!111!!!!!
03/26/2011
brittany8612 brittany8612
omg this reminds me of a magazine article i read when i was way young about not 'blowing' on your boyfriends penis, it said something like he wouldn't like his man tool being played like a trumpet haha
07/13/2011
Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
The Leaf Blower

The leaf blower is perfect for that after sex sensation. It blows harder than the average slut. If you find yourself all hot, sweaty, and dripping after hours of mind blowing sex, I highly recommend you add this to your toy ... More
Wow...
02/07/2012
Ash1141 Ash1141
Thanks
02/07/2012
Boobs and Lubes Boobs and Lubes
cute.
02/09/2012
winterseve winterseve
Great review! Totally wishlisted.
03/10/2012
Total posts: 25
Unique posters: 19