#AprilFools - Snowman Strap-On Harness

Gary Gary
Snowman Strap-On Harness (w/Fresh Carrot)

If you tired of building and posing your snowmen & snowwomen in the same old vertical poses, perhaps it’s time your bought a Snowman Strap-On. It’s sexy, it’s practical, and it’s loads of fun for the whole family; And if you buy one right now it even comes with a fresh carrot.

Pros: Hot & Sweaty Snowman Strap-on Sex.

Cons: For Seasonal use only, unless you live in the Tundra.

Upon opening the package I did take notice to the product ingredient listing that includes every substance known to be harmful to human genitalia, so please keep in mind this is for Snowman use only!

The sizing is fairly convenient as one size fits most, but of course if you are having some sizing issues your can always dropkick a huge chunk off of your snowman until it fits properly.

The C-Ring adapter is compatible with all varieties of carrots. The instructions say that while it may be possible to use items other than carrots, it is highly recommended that you don’t. Doing so could result in fire, explosion, or in some cases even death. The instructions also advise that you do not eat a carrot after it has been used for dirty snowman sex.

All in all I would have to say that my experience with this product was a positive one. Our family had the best Christmas card photo of all time, and then snowmen have never been happier,

5 Stars!!!

04/01/2010
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Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Snowman Strap-On Harness (w/Fresh Carrot)

If you tired of building and posing your snowmen & snowwomen in the same old vertical poses, perhaps it’s time your bought a Snowman Strap-On. It’s sexy, it’s practical, and it’s loads of fun for ... More
OMFG! So funnnny!
04/01/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I LOVE IT!!!

How long did it take you to doodle up that pic? (I saved it to my comp so I can print it off and hang it on the fridge)
04/01/2010
Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I LOVE IT!!!

How long did it take you to doodle up that pic? (I saved it to my comp so I can print it off and hang it on the fridge)
Actually not very long... being the master artist that I am
04/01/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Doesn't hot and sweaty sex pose a threat to the health of snow men? I would imagine it might result in death to some. Such a dangerous product, doncha it's irresponsible for you to recommend it!
04/01/2010
Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Doesn't hot and sweaty sex pose a threat to the health of snow men? I would imagine it might result in death to some. Such a dangerous product, doncha it's irresponsible for you to recommend it!
The hot & sweaty runs just deep enough to 'grease the wheels' of the down and dirty snowman sex machine!
04/01/2010
MuffysPinguLove MuffysPinguLove
The picture is full of win! Awesome review I will never look at snowmen the same way again!
04/01/2010
00 00
hilarious!
04/01/2010
SydVicious SydVicious
LMFAO
04/01/2010
SexyTigerX SexyTigerX
You wouldn't be giving a snow job, now?

My gosh how funny!!
04/01/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTigerX
You wouldn't be giving a snow job, now?

My gosh how funny!!
Lmao, snow job!!
04/01/2010
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
ROFL!!!
04/01/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTigerX
You wouldn't be giving a snow job, now?

My gosh how funny!!
HAHAHAHA!!!
04/01/2010
Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTigerX
You wouldn't be giving a snow job, now?

My gosh how funny!!
Nice!
04/01/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Is this product waterproof? I dunno... the snowman sex going on in your visual aid doesn't seem to be very consensual...
04/01/2010
Sammi Sammi
Hahahahaha!
04/01/2010
Sundae Sundae
I am also a little concerned about the sex practises going on in that picture...Surely they know that safe sex for snowmen happens at night when the sun isn't right there melting them away. Gary, I think you're setting a poor example for snowmen everywhere.
04/01/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Remember the chant: Safe Sane Consensual and communicate damnit! There is no condom on that there carrot! Think of the kids!
04/02/2010
deceased deceased
SNowman sex scares me even more than Clown sex.
04/02/2010
Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
Is this product waterproof? I dunno... the snowman sex going on in your visual aid doesn't seem to be very consensual...
The harness is water-proof, carrots however get a little rubbery after a day or so of heavy usage. As for the sex, well, I can assure you that it was consensual. This picture illustrates how the Snowlady is both excited & yet a little intimidated by the size of this larger than average carrot.
04/02/2010
Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by Sundae
I am also a little concerned about the sex practises going on in that picture...Surely they know that safe sex for snowmen happens at night when the sun isn't right there melting them away. Gary, I think you're setting a poor example for ... More
I 100% agree with you about about the safe sex, BUT, they are both consenting adults. There is not much that I can do. I am sure that since Snowmen can multiply at the speed of rabbits, there will no doubt be 20-40 more in next years photo.
04/02/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Hey Gary, welcome to the program! I don't mean to nitpick, but for future reviews you may want to include more information about cleaning and sharing just to be thorough. I would recommend using the extended templates; they're really helpful! Otherwise great first review and I hope to see more from you soonz!
04/02/2010
Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Hey Gary, welcome to the program! I don't mean to nitpick, but for future reviews you may want to include more information about cleaning and sharing just to be thorough. I would recommend using the extended templates; they're really helpful! ... More
Hahahahahahaha, what is this extended template you speak of?
04/02/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Hahahahahahaha, what is this extended template you speak of?
I was just going to stick a dildo emoticon in as the whole of my response, but apparently "The length of discussion topic should be more than 3 characters."

So. Here are some characters.

And now. Here is a dildo emoticon.

04/02/2010
Victoria Victoria
I love how you guys turned this into a joke about everything, sorta.
04/02/2010
Sammi Sammi
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I was just going to stick a dildo emoticon in as the whole of my response, but apparently "The length of discussion topic should be more than 3 characters."

So. Here are some characters.

And now. Here is a dildo emoticon.

LOL
04/02/2010
Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I love how you guys turned this into a joke about everything, sorta.
This was so much fun, I loved it!
04/02/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I was just going to stick a dildo emoticon in as the whole of my response, but apparently "The length of discussion topic should be more than 3 characters."

So. Here are some characters.

And now. Here is a dildo emoticon.

04/02/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I love how you guys turned this into a joke about everything, sorta.
Hah, I was kind of making fun of myself. I write those kind of comments on new reviews (aka Great review! Try the extended template next time, it's really helpful!)
04/03/2010
Gary Gary
I always forget that those cool little dildo emoticons are even available.
04/05/2010
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Total posts: 51
Unique posters: 37