Defining how many partners you've had

Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
Simple as that. How do you determine how many sex partners have you had? I'd been thinking about something Essin'Em had wrote awhile back and now have accepted my number is much higher than what I had previously thought. That's not a bad thing, I just widened my definition. So.....

What do you define as sex?
Do you tell people your number?
Do you explain how you came up with that number?

Most of my friends consider sex only XX/XY penis/vagina penetration. Thus the reason for the last question.

I don't want to offend anyone, I'm just honestly curious what people think.
10/29/2008
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Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Well, I have had only 1 partner in any definition. I think if I had had more partners, it would really depend on the type of activities. I would consider oral and anal to certainly be sex and thus a partner count. I suppose my definition would be something like "If these people had an STD, could I catch it from this activity?" Not to be offensive, of course, but that seems like a good guideline to me.
10/29/2008
Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer
Simple as that. How do you determine how many sex partners have you had? I'd been thinking about something Essin'Em had wrote awhile back and now have accepted my number is much higher than what I had previously thought. That's not a bad ... More
I should have also asked, do you even count?
10/29/2008
Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
Okay. I just got in this discussion again the other night with someone from Fetlife....... Anyone want to share?
01/18/2009
Tuesday Tuesday
I would define it as penis/vagina penetration also. Technically, oral counts as sex too and counts as adultery if you or your regular partner does this with someone else. But in my mind I wouldn't add to my 'number' anyone who I only had oral sex with. I require a chance of being fully satisfied for the number to increase and oral rarely does that for me.

I would never answer a question about how many partners I've been with, even if my husband asked. OK, I would tell girlfriends, but definitely not men.
01/18/2009
CaptainBunnyKilla CaptainBunnyKilla
I don't know. I mean, I kind of like to leave it up to people do define however they want. I'd probably go with "sex partner-broadly defined" as including oral and "sex partner-narrowly defined" as strictly intercourse (either vaginal or anal).
That ends my completely unhelpful answer!
01/18/2009
Mr Guy Mr Guy
I never ask. It's less of a Marco Polo complex than 'how much do I actually need to know?'. And all I really need to know is that a potential partner is experienced enough to have figured out who/what she is and what she likes/dislikes. Or at least has a fairly tangible idea. What's past is prologue. Or prequel. And me - I'm Star Wars classic.

However, as a man, I wholeheartedly encourage the padding of stats. Therefore, any definition to 'what constitutes sex' should remain rather amorphous, so it can be reshaped as needed.
01/18/2009
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer
Simple as that. How do you determine how many sex partners have you had? I'd been thinking about something Essin'Em had wrote awhile back and now have accepted my number is much higher than what I had previously thought. That's not a bad ... More
I don;t have a problem stating how much experience I've had but as my husband and I had a major problem with his cheating early on in our marriage I tend not to compare stats LOL. I don't mind answering questions but I don't keep a tally in my head and prefer to define sex partners as anyone I have touched, kissed or fucked with clothes off. That system seems to work for me as I prefer to be naked when amorous.
02/25/2009
Sammi Sammi
I didn't have many before I met my husband, but for the past 25 years, only 1.
02/25/2009
Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
I define sex much as Adriana suggested: sexual contact with another person in which I could potentially contract or give a disease, including when safer sex practices are implemented. My definition is certainly not limited to penis/vagina penetration. It includes oral and manual stimulation, some forms of tribadism, among several other activities.

Generally I do not tell people the exact number of sexual partners I have had. I am regularly tested for diseases/infections & practice *very* safer sex so the NUMBER of partners I have had is not particularly relevant in most situations.

I take a don't ask/don't tell approach with my actual number of sexual partners. Quite frankly, I don't want to know the names of every person my partner has been with or the number of people. There's nothing I can do to change it, and it's not something I want to dwell on. If my partner's number is higher than mine I tend to view his/her as promiscuous, and if his/her number is lower than mine I feel like a slut. I know this reaction is not logical, but I also know from experience this is the reaction I will have - which has been to the detriment of some of my relationships.

The exception to all this is when I decide to be fluid bonded to a partner. Then there is a serious discussion outside of the bedroom about previous sexual encounters, disease testing, and what the limits of the fluid bond will be. At that time I will generally tell someone my number is less than - and more than - and ask they do the same.

**Please note that you can get a sexually transmitted disease or infection from performing and/or receiving oral sex. A woman can also be infected with some diseases if her partner uses his/her hand on her genitals or in her vagina and the partner's hand/fingers have open sores, cuts or any other lesions. (This includes finger penetration of the anus for both men and women.) This could actually include irritated hang nails.
I feel it is important this thread have this information as the general population does not seem to know this very serious information.**
02/25/2009
Pixie and Joo Pixie and Joo
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer
Simple as that. How do you determine how many sex partners have you had? I'd been thinking about something Essin'Em had wrote awhile back and now have accepted my number is much higher than what I had previously thought. That's not a bad ... More
In my opinion it realy depends on the gender of the partners if it involves a male it must be penetration which is an easy one but if its female on female any penetration, oral sex, or simulated sex (etc scisoring) would be considered a sexual partner......well thats how I define it with my girlfriend.

I personaly have no problem telling people the number of partners Ive had.
05/12/2009
Nickisonehere Nickisonehere
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
I didn't have many before I met my husband, but for the past 25 years, only 1.
Wow that is a long time
05/13/2009
Passionate Pastor Passionate Pastor
Any contact with the genitals for the purpose of pleasure is sex. Those who say penetration only why do we call oral stimulation oral sex? That being said my wife is the only person I have had sex with.
05/28/2009
Czechmate Czechmate
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer
Simple as that. How do you determine how many sex partners have you had? I'd been thinking about something Essin'Em had wrote awhile back and now have accepted my number is much higher than what I had previously thought. That's not a bad ... More
For me, sex is any act which you can get an STD from. And yes, that includes oral sex. Oral, vaginal, and anal all count as sex acts in my book. I know a few people that got both ghonerrhea (sp?) and HPV in thier throats from oral sex, and some forms of hepatitus can easily be spread through oral sex. I hate to be a downer about how I define "sex" but I have never gotten any STD after being with 120 partners, because I played as safe as possible.
05/28/2009
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 12