Someone Says "Don't Buy Me A Gift This Year"...

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Someone Says "Don't Buy Me A Gift This Year"...

Kaltir Kaltir
When someone tells you not to buy them a gift this year, do you still get them one? We usually do, since we usually hear that when someone is strapped for cash and feels bad that they can't get anyone else anything. We like to get them something and let them know they're loved and thought of regardless of whether or not they are having a tough time. We would never want them to think that just because they can't get us something we won't get them anything. We never expect anything either. We just enjoy giving and seeing the smiles
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I would do as they asked and not get them anything.
Antipova , JackRaiden , Envy , authorzero , Eucaly , collifornia , Red Vinyl Kitty , Rossie , MrWishyWashy , cheetahpita , Adriana Ravenlust , padmeamidala , Bignuf , mudpie , Pink Jewel , eeep , null
17  (27%)
I would still get them something.
Tori Rebel , Drakoni , Kitka , Clandestine , The Mother of a SiNner , P'Gell , hexose , ConnerJay , voenne , ellejay , Valentinka , lexical , Miss Morphine , shySEXXaddict , slynch , ijako9 , Ash1141 , Nicky , Diabolical Kitty , *HisMrs* , clp , SexyTabby , CAKES , Gary A. , OroNomi , Katelyn , GRRRRR , The Curious Couple
28  (44%)
Other.
AndroAngel , WildeKnight , Beck , zwee75 , AngelvMaynard , Gracie , Princess-Kayla ♥ , DeliciousSurprise , Alura Une , married with children , mpfm , Cherrylane , DiscretionAdvised , Peggi , Misfit Momma , Stagger13 , Taylor , Airen Wolf , Sir
19  (30%)
Total votes: 64
Poll is closed
12/07/2011
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AndroAngel AndroAngel
It depends on the situation. If it's about not being able to give something in return, then I'll give them something anyway. If they just don't celebrate, or don't want a gift for personal reasons, I don't.
12/07/2011
Antipova Antipova
Well, I'm one of those people who doesn't celebrate, so I appreciate it when people respect my wishes and don't get me presents.

So obviously if someone else tells me not to get them a present, I'm respecting their wishes already!

I do make cookies/pies/baked goods for just about everybody, though, but I do that year-round.
12/07/2011
WildeKnight WildeKnight
My father does not want gifts, so wife and I donate to a charity in his name each year for Christmas.
12/07/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
It depends on the situation. If it's about not being able to give something in return, then I'll give them something anyway. If they just don't celebrate, or don't want a gift for personal reasons, I don't.
Pretty much this. If somebody tells me they don't want anything, and I think it's because they don't have the ability to give something in return, I'll still try to get them something small. Or if I see something that just makes me think of them.
12/07/2011
Envy Envy
I'm the one who tells people not to get me anything. If they do i will return the favor, but usually if they tell me not to get them anything I won't. I have before and the person felt very bad at not being able to return the favor and actually got a little snippy with me.
12/07/2011
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
It depends on the situation. If it's about not being able to give something in return, then I'll give them something anyway. If they just don't celebrate, or don't want a gift for personal reasons, I don't.
This is what I think as well. But if the reasons are that they did not have cash to return the favor, the gift I get is usually a gift card. And to like walmart or somewhere they shop at often, it really helps them and I still gave them a great gift.
12/07/2011
authorzero authorzero
It can be awkward to buy a gift for someone who says they don't want anything. To me it's sort of like saying "we're going to do what we want, regardless of what you want." It's never meant that way of course, but it can seem that way. Lots of people don't want anything for Christmas. It's not always just because they're broke. My dad always says he doesn't want anything, mostly because he has enough money that if he wants it, he'll just buy it. So this year my sister and I decided to do family portraits for him for Christmas. Something he can't really just go out and buy.
12/07/2011
Drakoni Drakoni
I'd get them something small or something they need/could use. If nothing else, I usually have a few things I received for free that I can pass along with a "I don't need this, but thought you might like it."
12/07/2011
Kitka Kitka
It really depends on circumstances but mostly I'd still get them something.
12/07/2011
zwee75 zwee75
I said other only b/c I'd probably just get them something small. A bottle of wine or something that I know they want/could use.
12/07/2011
Eucaly Eucaly
Do you really know why? Sometimes it's because people have no more room in their small apartment and they always get big gifts that inconvenience them.
12/07/2011
The Mother of a SiNner The Mother of a SiNner
Quote:
Originally posted by Kaltir
When someone tells you not to buy them a gift this year, do you still get them one? We usually do, since we usually hear that when someone is strapped for cash and feels bad that they can't get anyone else anything. We like to get them something ...
if someone was strapped for cash id totally get them something i dontn eed something in return
12/07/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
If it was because they don't celebrate the holiday, then I wouldn't. If it was for other reasons, say they are broke, I'd get them a small remembrance just to be nice. People get embarrassed if they can't afford to buy gifts and you get them something expensive. I've done this in the past and embarrassed people, so I stick with something small.

My dad, also, says, "Don't get us anything." He and his wife have some money and he buys what he wants. I usually get him some comic books or some DVDs or something, but nothing too expensive. He likes to spoil us and the kids, though. Most of my expensive kitchen equipment was from him. My radio controlled programmable two piece auto thermometer, my stick blender, my Cuisinart, some of our pots and pans and other assorted cool things we couldn't have afforded at the time. Oh, and my iPod. He bought that for me. I'm his only child, so I get kind of spoiled.
12/07/2011
Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
I'm in this boat this year. We were totally fine on money, and then my husband was in a car accident. He is completely fine, but the car is not drivable. It's a total bummer, but we can't even afford to give each other presents because the car is going to cost us a lot to repair (but, it is not unfixable, and we bought it brand new a bit over a year ago).

I feel really bad when people buy me things and I can't reciprocate. I LIKE buying people things. I like giving a lot more than I like receiving (though, getting presents in fun too). I would prefer that people respected my wishes this holiday and didn't buy me anything, because I would feel like I had to buy something for them, and right now - we really can't afford it.
12/07/2011
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
It really depends who it is, and what the situation is.
I always feel uncomfortable when people get me gifts, and I can't afford to get them something.
12/07/2011
Vanille Vanille
I cannot afford to return the gift-giving usually and so I feel like a complete ass in which I say, "I can't get you anything, so please don't spend money on me."
12/07/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
It depends on who they are--if it's something with whom I am close, I'll get them a small gift and make damn well they know they are not and were not obligated to get me anything--I buy gifts out of love, and because I see something I think they'll like. I expect my presents to be like that, too.
12/07/2011
MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
Agree, depends on the situation and who it is (i.e. - family member, friend, etc.) Sometimes I suggest to participate in an event that we both like, go out to dinner, play golf, see a movie, etc. and pay each other's bills. That way you still get to share in each other's company and not feel guilty about not buying!
12/07/2011
married with children married with children
it depends on who it is
12/08/2011
switzerland switzerland
in my experience, people always expect something even if they say they don't (i have very materialistic family members, contrary to how they actually claim to be)
12/08/2011
lexical lexical
It's the season of giving. Even if they can't return the favor, I always give gifts to people if I see something I think they would like!
12/08/2011
cheetahpita cheetahpita
If someone goes out of their way to tell me not to give them a gift, I'd respect their wishes. I'd also probably load them up with cookies/treats, but those don't count as gifts, right?
12/08/2011
ijako9 ijako9
That just means "I shouldn't have to tell you what I want you already know me well enough to know what to get me". Haha just kidding
12/09/2011
Cherrylane Cherrylane
I think it just depends on the person. My guy is often really strapped for cash because of his job (media/journalism.. not exactly a booming field), and when he says not to get him anything, he means it. I think it's really annoying, but he takes it really personally. Even if he likes what the gift is, he'll resent it because he feels guilty over not being able to get anything. It doesn't matter how many times you tell him it's not necessary.

In many cases, I'd still get the person something, but probably smaller than what I'd usually get. A token of "I'm still thinking of you" kind of thing, but not something big enough that would trigger a response like above, like why did you get this for me when it's way nicer than anything I could get for myself or anything else?

I personally gave up on my christmas list this year because I couldn't bring myself to make a decision on anything. Now I just tell people idk lol
12/09/2011
Nicky Nicky
In most cases, I would still by them a gift, even if it was just something little. This is especially true for someone I know will probably get me something even though they have made that statement.
12/09/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by cheetahpita
If someone goes out of their way to tell me not to give them a gift, I'd respect their wishes. I'd also probably load them up with cookies/treats, but those don't count as gifts, right?
Of course they do! I do a lot of baking for gifts, for everyone from my childrens' teachers to the pharmacists I use to the Fed Ex guy, the UPS guy and the mail man etc.

People always seem to appreciate home baked goods, and many don't have time to do it for themselves, or don't know how.

I've fed many teachers' children for breakfast with my gifts.
12/09/2011
Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I'd still buy them a gift.
12/09/2011
padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by Kaltir
When someone tells you not to buy them a gift this year, do you still get them one? We usually do, since we usually hear that when someone is strapped for cash and feels bad that they can't get anyone else anything. We like to get them something ...
I would do as they asked and not buy anything for them.
12/09/2011
DiscretionAdvised DiscretionAdvised
I voted other because it depends on the person.

My mom forever tells me not to get her presents. If I find something I think she should have, then I get it for her and save it for the nearest holiday. If I haven't found anything for her for Christmas, then I don't force myself to find her something. She appreciates this style of gift giving.

My wife, however, tells me that I don't "have to" get her anything. Yet she always buys me tons of very thoughtful gifts. If I didn't buy her anything, I would feel terrible!

Above all else, I like finding gifts that I think the person will love. I'd rather be empty handed (or show up with a meaningful card and a hug) then show up with a "forced" mediocre gift.
12/09/2011
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Total posts: 41
Unique posters: 40